My girlfriend has never had much interest in me it’s been 2 years and she barely gives me any affection. What could she be thinking?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now and she still has very little interest in me most of the time. It was her idea to be a couple she asked after 3 dates and a month of talking and I agreed but she’s always kept me at arms length. I should mention she is nearly 30 and I am her first boyfriend but she’s very pretty and sweet not rude or anything I honestly think it’s just ignorance from lack of experience but I have only had 2 relationships now myself and I know that I need to hug her often and and hold her hand and sit next to her when we are at get togethers with family but she doesn’t do the same for me.
We are on a family vacation with her family that they were kind enough to invite me on and she has barely said a word to me the whole time (5 days) and doesn’t even sit next to me in the car half the time. She doesn’t walk with me as we see the sights she is with her sister or off by her self and doesn’t bother to invite me to go with her when she sees something she wants to look at. I have pretty much stopped trying to talk to her and being good company to her because she is not doing the same for me and I don’t know why I’m even on this trip anymore.

She’s not openly avoiding me it’s more subconscious I think.
ladies can you explain her behavior and total lack of interest in me why wouldn’t a girl want attention from her boyfriend and to give it in return and is there anything I can do to improve this situation?

[Anonymous]

Is she slow?

It's not that hard to pay attention to your partner so maybe she wasn't ready for a relationship
you should have a talk with her be honest about how her behavior makes you feel
and ask her if there's anything you can do to make the relationship better
you should both being putting the same effort or it's not worth it

[Asker]

I’ve considered having a talk with her but the reason i haven’t is because I don’t want her start showing acting like she cares or doing things like give hugs and stuff out of a feeling of obligation to the relationship I want her to want to do it I wish I could trigger stronger feelings for me.

[Opinion Owner]

she might not realize it from lack of experience, i was like that before
if you don't want to talk to her you could try to be more affectionate or just end it if you're that tired
I see your point, she should be more aware and pay more attention to you

[Asker]

Thanks for your response. I've been affectionate towards her slowing increasing it since the beginning but she has remained the same I guess it’s time to end it.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry to hear that and I hope your next relationship is better :)

[Biloscothu]

She is an ace or aromantic so would have this kind of behaviour for any guy. She just likes you as a person and is incapable of liking you as a boy. If you seek physical intimacy in a relationship like any straight person just tell her that you seek sex.
If she tell you that she is not in these kind of stuff you may exit the relationship.
Or read below for a crazy idea-
Love her and make a pact that you are allowed to have sex with other women.

[Asker]

I’m not interested in sex at least until marriage I know she feels the same way but I wish she actually wanted my attention because I want hers not all day every day but we shouldn’t be going a week at a time with out hearing from each other which is very common.

[Biloscothu]

My sister is asexual and she had a boyfriend who was from the same friend circle so whenever the were together she just used to sit with her friends and give them time she never held hands with him and hated hugging him although said he was a good person.

[Asker]

Yeah a lot of the time I feel friend zoned or like her brother or something it’s so weird. Why she even wanted me is beyond me it was her that chased me in the beginning.

[Biloscothu]

Well of she was the one who chased you then she isn't a aromantic but still could be an ace
Ig you should talk to her but dont mention that you think that she is ace just tell all of what you are telling me

[Asker]

Thanks Your response I’ve never her of aromatic or ace before so thanks for the help

[boggboss]

Only a idiot would not have said anything and stayed in this situation for two years