Why do women have double standards for men?

Question

Why do women think it's okay to not date a short guy but will say in the same sentence men should date a woman based off her personality not her looks but you just said you wouldn't date a short man. Smh
When everyone is born whether your female or male your DNA 🧬 is coded with how tall you WILL be and there is nothing you can take or do to change that. When your out choosing food to eat you can change that and be healthy and lose weight or gain it whatever your reason is it can be changed BUT NOT YOUR HEIGHT

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

Actually, there IS a way to get taller but, it could be painful and take a LONG time. What they do is intentionally break your legs and keep the bones about a half an inch apart at the break so they'll grow back with more bone at the break, making you half an inch taller. After doing this several times, taking at least a few years, you might gain a few inches but, is it worth it?
As for guys wanting skinny women because they can breed better, actually, it's the women that have a few extra pounds that are better for baby making. The skinnier she is, the more trouble she might have in pregnancy. I don't think overweight girls have it any easier and might even risk a heart attack while trying to pound out a unit. SLIGHTLY overweight, like, an extra 5 or 15 pounds, is okay.
Yeah, girls ARE a bit shallow in that way and possibly a few others. I had one girl tell me that this one short guy really creeped her out BECAUSE he was short! I don't get it! But, my singer and one of my guitarists were just as short and she fucked both of them!! (I can understand her fucking Bob!! He had a dick like a fire hose!! Almost half as long as his legs!!) She wouldn't fuck me, though, even though I'm at least a foot taller than those guys but, she said it was because she thought it'd fuck up our friendship. I VERY SERIOUSLY doubt it would!! At least not from my end. I'm not a fuck `em and never talk to them again kind of guy!! Well? Where's our friendship, now? I haven't seen or heard from her in 33 years even though I found her a couple years ago online and sent her an e-mail!!

Pasiton5 · Accepted Answer

Actually you can increase your height, there are several methods to achieve this goal, some very painful like for instance in russia dancers in theatre and opera must be a certain height so some young women go to a specialist, have their ankles broken, stretched a couple inches before placed in a cast, the bones as they heal will increase her height by that much, me I would just go buy some platform shoes and I'm good to go that's the other method of gaining a few inches, it's not just women who have double standards everyone alive does, they all say one thing out the corner of their mouths and do something completely against what they just said so can't put this one solely on women, I mean how many times have you told your boys, dude man I'm telling you no way would I ever date a fat woman or a female nba player yet there you are at the buffet with yup big mama, hulking it up as you return to get her what 10th plate now, and the race track cheering your girl on I mean cheering with your nba player girl at horse races, so, just saying is all double standards we all have that flaw

realblonde · Accepted Answer

Here's the thing: some people say that you should completely ignore physical appearance and only have personality. However, it is still important that you are attracted to the person you are in a relationship. That does NOT mean that you only stick to your "type." I like guys that are taller than me for various reasons, but I have been physically attracted to shorter guys.
I think that there are pretty high standards for women, which have come about from many things. The modeling industry, especially including models in ads, makes women feel insecure. It's a real problem. Other people are also negatively affected by these "standards," and they buy into the fact that women should fit these "standards." Thus, bullying and body shaming.
Thankfully, parts of society are starting to bounce back from that, but in the extreme, it seems, where some people expect you to ignore your natural attraction to certain features or whatever and only go for internal beauty. The problem with that is that if you are not attracted to both the person's appearance and their personality, you don't have the whole person. After all, the physical appearance IS the first thing that people see and personality second. That is not to say that personality is not important. I'm just saying that physical attraction is there for a reason.

hi_it_is_me123 · Accepted Answer

Go search on youtube Interview with women about women's height. Women who said thst they like tall men get so much hate and women who said they dont care get so many compliments in the commentsection on youtube lol. So if you are going to hate to hear the truth, dont ask it. I always tell that women are more visual aka care more about looks due to biological reasons. I would prefere men who care more about looks than youth to be honest since you even can change your looks. I did not see anyone complaining about the douple standards that men have it when it comes to women's age. Youth is very short and so there is a huge pressure on women to find a man before their 30s and even before their mid 20s while young men can enjoy their youth. Majority of men prefere young women which minority. So what is wrong when especially young women prefere tall men. You can prefere wtf you want, i dont care. My problem is that women get much hate when they talk about their physical preferences in my experience. So it is normal when many women are afraid of being honest

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

It's definitely a double standard.

It is true that everyone is attracted to different things and some people just don't find certain qualities attractive, but it should also be understood that there will be people who don't find them attractive as well. There is nothing wrong with a man not wanting to date an overweight woman because he doesn't find excess weight to be attractive.

I won't say as to which sex is "more shallow" though, as I think people of both sexes can be very shallow, or not at all.

Aethereal · Answer

I understand your argument, and I agree it's a double standard in that one person shouldn't be upset that another person prefers a certain feature they don't have, when they themselves have their own preferences and defend having them.

However, I think what is much more important here, that you started saying before diverging towards the "biology" argument, is the need to separate preference from prejudice: the absurdity of imposing requirements on someone that they cannot change i. e. things like height and race.

Too many people in comments and elsewhere quickly pull out the "preference" defense. I'm all for having preferences. I recognize that it's not even true that all men want skinny girls. Some are more attracted to chubbier girls. Preferences are great. They only stop being preferences when;
- They become requirements that permanently disqualify a significant percentage of people from one's dating pool because it's a requirement that they can never change about themselves.
- They are the defining requirement e. g. You prefer skinny girls, but would overlook that feature if you met an otherwise perfect girl, or a girl that ticked most of your other boxes.

Kaamraj · Answer

The answer is both biological and based in current scene of political correctness. Women fall pregnant and are responsible for carrying the child to term and taking care of it for several years. That is an immense burden and she needs to be assured that her mate is competent source of good genes and competent provider. That is absolutely hard wired in evolutionary biology and no amount of political correctness can change that.

Now there exists a possible dichotomy here. A man who is a good source of genes, meaning tall, strong, lack of physical defects. And a man who is a good provider which in today's age means a person who has a good education and perhaps not the best looking. So ideally the solution is to get pregnant by the good genes and have the good provider take care of it and her. Which is clearly disastrous doe the good provider. Therefore, women prioritize different strategies at different times of her life. Because time is one thing which a woman doesn't have when it comes to sexual strategy.

Men on the other hand like the biological traits which indicate youth and fertility. You may shame them into superficially not expressing it but you cannot eliminate that hardwired need. Men will go silent and not voice their opinions for fear of social boycott and ridicule but will exercise their options in their personal lives.

rounddablock · Answer

Part of the problem is women always try to “date up” and compete among each other for the top 1% of men. They don’t mind be one of dozens (even hundreds) of girls who gets a quick moment with a top man. They fantasize about being the one to “break him”. While I think some of this is DNA it’s also princess syndrome bs.

Anyway a good rule of thumb is to never hold someone to a higher standard than you hold yourself.

Below is what you should never judge someone on: height, age, voice pitch, hair color, eye color, skin tone, etc.

You can romantically reject someone for those above attributes. But that is different than judging them. No man (or woman) can magically grow taller, permanently change their natural voice pitch, permanently change their hair color, grow younger, skin color. NEVER ever openly insult someone for those features if they didn’t insult you first. You don’t have to date them but don’t insult them.

Here are features you CAN change but take hard work. Body fat/fitness, bad habits/quirks, clothing style, mannerisms, financial status, etc.

Fat people CAN get fit if they really wanted to. When I say “fit” I don’t mean supermodel thin. I’m talking about being in the best shape possible for your natural body type. I’ve met thicker yet very athletic/healthy women. There is something in the way they walk and move that makes them sexy. I know the difference between a thicker girl who is just lazy vs. one who is doing her best to stay in shape. I will always respect (and even date) the latter.

But I see some women making this bullshit false equivalence that it’s okay for them to judge short guys since guys judge them on being overweight. WRONG.

No guy can magically grow 3 inches taller but it is very possible for an overweight girl to lose 30lbs. It’s easier said than done but it can be happen.

natured · Answer

It bothers me a lot that you generalized, you literally put all of us in a bag and it's disturbing to me as a Woman to read such a senseless statement.
I can guarantee you that HIGHT never bothered me, and i'm a tall woman myself, let's say average tall ok?
So i'm 1.73 cm and my boyfriend is literally 1.78 cm, so when i wear higheels i get taller than him and I don't mind and he doesn't mind either, actuallt he goes crazy when i get taller and loves it lol.
HE IS NOT TALL, he is considered short in Italy, but it does not bother me because I LOVE HIM !!!
So i think YOU ARE shallow just for this statement, and it kind of hurts.
Wish you all the best though

Rei02 · Answer

Let's be honest, everyone can be shallow at some degree, everyone has his/her own standards about beauty, behaviour, personality and socioeconomic and education level, even ourselves. What it can also happen is that first you have certain parameters so you can say this guy, this girl is attractive and you want to date him/her, but one day, you meet someone who doesn't fulfill them, and in a moment or at some point, it becomes your crush. You can't explain it, but it happens.

If only things could be so easier with just saying I like this guy/girl because I like him/her even though he/she doesn't fulfill the requirements while there are others who even if they have all of them or try to fulfill them, you are not interested or love is not requited and it is just one sided.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

I hate when people tell me i (5'7") should date taller, when my boyfriend (5'4") treats me so well. Height is a bullshit standard, you can't choose your height, but you can choose what kind of person you are.

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

Actually the height thing does come into play when it comes to judging if a guy can protect her or provide favorable offspring. Taller, stronger guys with more angular facial structures tend to look like they would make cuter babies that can survive easier.

Screenwriter · Answer

Just some info. Skinny women, or women who are underweight for their height, are not biologically in "good health." If I woman is too thin, like most models are, they will be amenorrheic: they won't have menstrual periods and will NOT BE FERTILE.

An underweight woman cannot carry a baby to term either because her caloric needs are much higher than an average weight woman. She will have to eat herself up to average weight, first, just to have a menstrual period. Then she will have to gain further weight to keep the pregnancy going.

So "skinny" is not biologically viable or attractive in any culture. Most men prefer women of average weights: right in the middle, to slightly overweight. Few males are attracted to extremely thin or extremely obese women because at both ends of the spectrum, women are biologically not healthy enough to carry babies to term without problems.

ZackBan · Answer

Should would could...
The heart wants what the heart wants. Personally I'm not into fat girls, regardless of whether that's discriminating or not I will not be dating a fat girl and no one can force me to. In the same way woman will not date a short guy if she likes tall guys just because it's not ok to discriminate.
Having a type is not discrimination, i would never shame a girl for being fat or stand for a woman shaming a guy for being short (even though being fat is controllable unlike height) but still I do not see anyone as a lesser human for any physical trait, that doesn't mean I'll date any physical trait I still have my preferences and the same goes for women

Overmind · Answer

What I would do is forget about women & work on yourself/hobbies; that's what I did. Somewhere along the line I started to attract them, not sure what specifically I did or if it's a culmination of everything. The problem I have is I'm attracted to women with hobbies like mine; love to read, build a pc, nerds in other words because that's what I still am at heart but how can you ask a woman out that won't even look at you after initial eye contact?

I sympathize with you on height as it's not something you can control, what I'd do in your position is work on yourself & compensate something you can't control with something you can. I'm willing to bet a great personality would be enough for some woman:) Not all woman are shallow enough to pass a guy like that up that's investing in himself:) & I cannot stress how important it is to lsoe your expectations, I know it's easier said than done but it's possible.

Lauren-green · Answer

To date someone, you need to be both mentally and physically attracted to them. It can't be just one or the other, otherwise it wl never work.

Everybody has their own preferences for sexuality, gender, appearance, personality, attitude etc. And that's okay! Why would we want to live in a world where everybody wants the same thing, and you have to fit into one box? It's good to have preferences, it's what makes us all unique.

DWornock · Answer

Both men and women, but women more than men, see things from their perspective; that is, whatever is to their advantage. It is to a woman's advantage to be attracted to taller men in good physical shape because those men are more successful and produce children that are more successful.

It is also to a woman's advantage, especially if overweight and not especially attractive for men to choose her based on other factors other than looks. Therefore, since both are to women's advantage, they want both. Fairness or whether or not if it is a double standard doesn't factor in to what they want.

Anonymous · Answer

I think this comment is about ignorant.
Women have one preference. Be tall. For decades men have insisted every part of a woman be great. Her face, boobs, ass, flat stomach, right curves etc. look at typical movies in 90s and early 2000s the woman are all perfect dating these eh men like Adam sandler movies.
Women aren’t having double standards. They are saying men should be less shallow because overall in general men are extremely shallow and women are much less in general.
Sure they want a tall guy. But if that’s the only beauty standard you can reference too, cmon. Men have a zillion for women.

Anonymous · Answer

I didn't take a vite on this one. But not all women have certain standards for men. In fact I know quite a few attractive women who have married shorter men , a lot of women also choose to be with men who don't fit the 'model' check list created by society because they simply understand that this perfection doesn't exist. Some women might say they want to date a main with certain charaterics and that's normal because we're all attracted to differently things. But rejecting someone based off certain charaterics in my personal opinion I feel like that women had some maturing to do.

Goatmeal · Answer

The stuff you wrote about skinny women is bullshit. Most men don't even find that attractive, compared to other body types. I suspect the ideal exists because of gay fashion designers (as well as women gaining weight relatively easily compared to men, so being more afraid of getting fat).

That being said, the height stuff is hypocrisy. But it's encoded in women's preferences by evolution - as a man, your "role" is to protect her and your offspring, so a tall guy is simply more physically imposing than a short guy.

That doesn't excuse the hypocrisy, though. Don't tell men they can't have preferences when you can yourselves.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

@dsgaboy ref your update on skinny, that’s wrong.

historically and at a subconscious level guys have went for wider hipped girls, average bodies.

the entire thin look has originated from fashion to social media and is driven by social media.

it’s entirely false as in real life average is called average for a reason lol.

there are very few skinny girls, especially in places like the US.

DarkCarousel · Answer

Sometimes people mix up standards and preferences when they shouldn’t be interchangeable. I prefer to date a tall (er) man but that’s simply because I’m a taller woman. Just because a man is shorter doesn’t mean he doesn’t meet my standards for a man.
I do see your point though. I once read an article that was specifically about obese women not liking overweight guys. Now that’s not totally strange. But these women can’t possibly be upset if an in-shape healthy guy is not attracted to her.

Anonymous · Answer

Double standard, and not all women.
And what is with you mentioning men liking skinny women because of some in-grown biological shit, same with women and height? Neither height nor weight alone tells if someone is a good protector or fertile. Showing double standards in a question about double standards. The irony ;P

StarOfEast89 · Answer

I think we are adaptable, which is needed. Women without a protector for example tend to be fiercer than man. It's the same principle as lion vs buffalo. The buffalo is much stronger and could throw a lion around like a rag if the lion would go toe to hoof with the buffalo, so the lion uses the surprise element and jumps the throat, to put the buffalo down as quickly and as cleanly as possible, when the buffalo least expects it. The lion can not fight on equal terms, because they are not evenly matched and there can not be an even fight, nor can the lion take prisoners. Same with women. We are weak and ideally, we need a protector. If not, if we are forced to fend off for ourselves, we go all in to put down the possible threat or prey with one shot and as quickly and cleanly as possible, without taking prisoners or pulling any punches.

Why do women have double standards for men?

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