I took the girl I'm seeing out for her birthday. Two days later she went out to eat with her kids and their father as part of their co parenting?

[Anonymous]

I took the girl I'm seeing out on her birthday and we had a great time.
Two days later I called her, she called me back an explained that she was out eating with her two kids and their father celebrating her birthday and that she'd call me back. Which she did. Afterwards he did stop by her place to spend time with his kids.
I played everything cool. But is this really part of co parenting? She has in her past assured me her disdain of doing the co parenting and meeting up with the father and says she does it just for the kids. I do show her support on that.
But I do admit going out to eat or doing other things "together" does bother me, before I explain this to her I want to know other opinions what should I expect from her co parenting with the father of her kids. I don't want to be selfish and force something on her kids but I also feel that if they her and their father are not together then they are going to have to know eventually.
Should I expect her to tell me everything that they do or when or where they go? Should I trust her enough to where I shouldn't worry.

Yes I should be concerned

No I should not be concerned

[MissGeorgia]

It is weird that she went for dinner with him on her birthday. If it was one of her kids’ birthdays it would make a little more sense.

I have a little boy from my previous relationship, and I’ve never been for dinner with my ex partner. We don’t even spend my son’s birthday together. He goes to his dad’s the following day... but different people have different arrangements. Maybe their relationship is simply that comfortable.
The “stopping by” the house thing, I get, and it can be annoying, she is right, especially because there isn’t always a heads up, and the lines get blurred over having the right to say “ you can’t do this whenever you feel like it”
There does need to be some boundaries between them. If she lets him take advantage of the situation at your expense, then you either need to speak her about what their arrangements actually are, so you know what to be prepared for, or decide for yourself if you can handle this guy being a part of your lives forever in this way
If she respects your relationship, she will put those boundaries there with him.

[Paris13]

I have a family member who does co parenting and their partners trust them explicitly. The situation is they never will get back a s a couple because there is no love just "Love" as a friend and concern to make a healthy atmosphere for the kids now. Going for a pizza or to the park or whatever, is healthy for everyone. Only you know they girl you are with now. Or need to know her better. Relax.

[Paris13]

It is good to show the kids that even celebrating a birthday or even a holiday, no hard feelings. Maybe it means more to the kids to have dad there. She may not even care.

[Paris13]

Thanks to Gag. xx

[lycanthrope3]

He may have paid for their kids to buy her a bday dinner, other wise she would have paid for her own dinner. He is the kids dad, he will be in their lives, she has to deal witb him on a civil level. Support her, support the kids, be civil with him. If you become part of their life, he will be a part of yours, it can be easy or hard, try to make it easy.

[OutWestBandit]

welcome to dating people with baggage
lol