How do I deal with this?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys :) I hope you lot are doing well!

So I've been with this one guy for almost 10 months now. He stays in another country, only 1 hr away by flight. Our relationship has been changing in the most natural way ever. We recently started dating, in February. He's so supportive. He wrote me a 7 page letter for valentines day. He's always there when I need him. I've visited him a number of times. I stayed with him for a week and he cried literal tears when I left. In March he took me on a two week vacation for my birthday, it was the best I'd ever had. Unfortunately his house burnt down midway my vacation and he decided to stay with me. And as expected, I was very supportive. We had lots of memories in the house and I would say I was attached. But anyways, he went back and lived with his fiends. He got a new house and I was there with him when he got the keys and we did shopping for everything together. I stayed with him for a while. Last night, a girl he had been casually sleeping with whilst we were friends viewed my story on Instagram and I went through her page ( it was my first time ever seeing her). I found pictures of her in his bedroom from the old house, they are old pictures by the way but I cried from that. We are very open with communication so I texted him right away. We spoke it through and he explained everything to me, which made me feel better in the moment but tbh now I just feel how I did last night. It's not his fault obviously but do you guys know how I can get over this feeling?

Updates

1 y

Thanks for giving me your opinions guys. I explained how I was feeling to my boyfriend and he understood and has been very supportive with everything

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you feel hurt and upset after seeing pictures of another woman in your boyfriend's bedroom. However, it's important to remember that these pictures are from before you started dating, and your boyfriend has been open and honest with you about the situation. It's natural to feel a range of emotions in response to this situation, but there are some things you can do to help you move forward.

First, it's important to communicate with your boyfriend openly and honestly about your feelings. Let him know how you are feeling and be clear about what you need from him in terms of support and reassurance. It's possible that he may be able to provide you with additional information or context that could help you feel better about the situation.

Second, it can be helpful to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and the experiences you have shared together. Remind yourself of the happy memories you have created with your boyfriend and the ways in which he has been supportive and caring towards you.

Finally, it's important to take care of yourself during this time. This might involve engaging in self-care activities like exercise or meditation, spending time with supportive friends or family members, or seeking out professional support like therapy or counseling.

Remember, it's normal to experience a range of emotions in response to this situation, and it's important to give yourself time and space to process your feelings. With open communication, support from your loved ones, and a focus on self-care, you can work through these emotions and move forward in a positive direction.

[Asker]

Thank you so much! I really feel like you understood me and that advice is what I needed!!! Thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

You're very welcome! I'm glad that my advice was helpful to you. If you have any other questions or concerns in the future, don't hesitate to ask.

[Anonymous]

Did you think he was a virgin when you started dating?

[Asker]

Not at all! We are both very sexual people and we have shared sex stories that involved other people before we started dating.

[Opinion Owner]

So why does this make you sad? You know he had sexual partners before you were in his life.

[Asker]

I did know yup! She has a picture from 9 weeks ago and I asked him about it and he said they went to a concert together with other friends, which is true. But he also said she slept at his house after the concert. Which is partly the reason why I feel this way. He did assure me that their sexual relationship had ended by then. He never lies to me. I don't know why I can't move past it. Just feels like I've been betrayed a bit😅

[Asker]

It's not really the sexual bit that bothers me tbh. I'm trying to figure out why I'm bothered by it

[Opinion Owner]

He told you that their sexual relationship had ended but, after that, they go to a concert and she sleeps at his house. Do you believe that she slept there and they didn't have sex?

[Opinion Owner]

Are you afraid that he is playing you and you will look like the fool when the truth comes out?

[Asker]

I think that's the other thing. I don't know what to believe

[Asker]

He's not playing me that much I know

[Opinion Owner]

If a guy really respected you, would he even create this situation where you don't know what to believe?

[Nikki1989]

What is there to deal with?

I can't see any problem.

[Stevefiveo]

Unfortunately you boyfriend has a past. I would suggest being friends with her. Maybe go out to lunch with her so you two can talk things out.

[Iron_Man]

Was that before you guys what’s going on now?

[Asker]

It was become we made our relationship official but we did have something going on

[Asker]

Before*

[Iron_Man]

Ok
Good

[In_Trance]

I don't see what you're dealing with. What is there to get over?