Am I too old to NOT be dating?

[beebella]

I have no desire to date, but I'm kinda pushing 30 now, so I'm wondering if it's time to start dating. 🤔

Yes, you're wasting all your good years

No, you date whenever you're ready to date

Another opinion

*shrugs*

[AmandaYVR]

There's no right or wrong answer with this. There's advantages and disadvantages to being single and being as a part of a couple.

But I'll just say this - the more years a person spends living alone, the more they form patterns, preferences, and tend to get set in their ways. There's no one to compromise for (and compromise is no fun) but it's like a muscle that isn't exercised. It becomes harder to adapt to others, the more time goes by. Independence and self-reliance is great. But it does have some drawbacks as well. Older people do tend to have firmer options on all sorts of things, and rigidity of thinking is noticeable.

Physically, you're in your prime in your 20s (all people are), and you have the most energy you'll ever have, just by a factor of age. So it's a nice time to get together with people. (In addition to the psychological mentioned above.) I'm not sure about using the word "wasted", as it's a bit harsh, but it's better for you to use it on yourself, than others to make such a judgement.

My personal advice to you, and anyone in their 20s, is yes, date. Meet people. Don't go into it being so serious that you take all the fun out of it. Just look at it as a time to meet people. Have genuine curiosity about them, and they will pick up on that. You don't have to have any more of an agenda than that. It also puts less pressure on them (especially guys; they hate relationship pressure), and if you don't want casual sex, be absolutely upfront about that so you don't waste your or their time, but just try to have realistic expectations. Particularly today, guys think women's expectations are totally out of whack. But most girls don't want some guy who just wants sex and to put in little effort for anything real. So weed through them, dig around, have standards, but also approach it as getting to know some nice people who will broaden your mind about the world.

[DarkCarousel]

It has nothing to do with age, though I’m sure you’ll hear from some that you’re wasting your prime. You have to be ready, or at least open, for it to work for you.

[ChiTown33]

When I was younger I went against the grain on most things. For example I never developed the taste for alcohol. Ergo I would never drink it in social situations where everyone else was and it alienated me from the group. In the grand scheme of things this isn't a big deal. I'm just saying by going against the group you make yourself suspect (maybe a snob) in their eyes.
Dating though? It's only unusual from the simple fact that most people WANT companionship. It makes me wonder if you've had some trauma in the past that is overriding your natural drive to want to date.
Whatever you feel. Personally no I don't think there is anything wrong with NOT dating (so long as it's for healthy reasons) I mean there's nothing worse than being with someone that you're just going through the motions just because society says "this is what's normal or successful". They may really love you and you're not being fair to them.
So follow your feelings. Do what's right for YOU. And be happy. Life is short.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

There's no point in dating right now if it's not what you want. I don't see what the pressure is just because you're nearing 30. It's not like there's an age limit on dating. Do it when it feels right, whether that's right now or 10 years down the road or never

[Cynicaldreamer]

If you're too old not to be dating, then I'm REALLY pushing it at 36! LOL

There is no set timeframe to be dating. Much less an age you should be "settled down," married, or even have your life in order by... contrary to what society might tell you. You said yourself you have no desire to date right?

... then why date right now?
Seriously, don't force yourself to do something just to make others happy, or follow the norms of society. Otherwise you'll wind up settling, or worse, miserable trying to find someone that isn't right for you. Dating is a headache as is. Now imagine dating if you're not in the mood to or motivated to-

Exactly. You do you, okay? Enjoy the single life :) I am. I have no urge to date right now and that's okay! No one pressures me to date, I don't feel obligated to, and if the right person comes into my life, I'll date him on my terms.
And trust me, when you're ready to date, you'll want to date and put yourself out there. And not because you're getting old, or feel pressured by your friends, family, or some other reason to do so.

[ToastyOats]

Your baby will born with cobwebs😆

[Cynicaldreamer]

@ToastyOats Good thing I don't like or want kids, so that won't be an issue! LOL

[DianaWest]

@ToastyOats lol. are you a woman, or a sad little man? why do you seem so hot and bothered by women's dating choices and whether or not they want to have children?

[Account]

I will be 30 on August 31 and I have no desire of doing that. But that is up to each individual.

[Miristheiss]

What are your goals?

Do you want romance? Do you want a family and kids and a husband? Do you have no interest in that and you are content with just being active with friends but you have no interest in sex, male/female chemistry and romance?

It depends on what your goal is?

If you want marriage... start pursuing that.
If you just want some male companionship from time to time and some physical action from time to time... date.
If you are content alone and prefer socializing with friends and family then do nothing and just keep things the way you are.

[Robertcw]

🤷🏻‍♂️ I feel the same way. But I have legitimate reasons for not dating (pushing the boundries of what could ve considered 'homeless.').

If you have reasons then okay, if you're just being lazy though... ehh I think that might be not a great decision because of life not being eternal. Even if you aren't wasting your youthfulness, I mean life ends between 65 and 80 for most people. There are only so many months available to live, you either live them single or not single. I suppose it depends on which way you would rather live.

[ChrisBlue1]

Nothing to do with age and if you wanna date then date , if not then do not! Just do you, The world and their proper "Society" Rulebook of what people are supposed to do and not do according to whoever? The Tooth Fairy , lol Sorry I don't subscribe to that worldly rule book. Like I said Do whatever it is you feel comfortable doing! Plus It's none of your business what other people think about you ! And if friends or whoever are hooked up with someone and pestering you to do what they do, Then they are probably miserable with their choices and want you to join their BOO HOO express cause they are jealous of you!~ LOL

[Novacane]

I would say it is never too late to start dating! Of course, at this, it might be a little more difficult than dating when you are young but it's possible. Also being a woman you won't have that much difficulty finding a significant other compared to men.

[DianaWest]

please. difficult my ass. most men nowadays are getting married in their mid-late 30s, even early 40s.

[DianaWest]

also, plenty divorce after a couple years. so she has plenty to choose from.

[Novacane]

@DianaWest, Of course, they are because most are more established around that age, the reasons I said it's difficult is because the older you get the higher standards you tend to have, and just because there is a lot of men that doesn't mean they would all qualify. But yes I did mention as a woman she won't have that difficulty because women always have options as men come to them but that doesn't happen to men.

[DianaWest]

true, i guess. But not that many men approach women anymore.

[Novacane]

@DianaWest i agree with you, being someone that doesn’t approach women myself, but there is a reason. A lot of women have complained about men approaching them even when it’s the small things and a lot of woman have made it clear that they don’t like being approached. Don’t get me wrong cat calling and harassing are completely wrong! I’ve seen so many complained that it makes me not even want to approached them because i might be labeled a creep just for reaching out and add on to the men that have tried talking to her hay day even when my intentions are good. Also online dating is becoming more popular so people just rather do that

[ohshee]

Hell no you should go dating anytime you can anytime you want hell I would date you but I was living by you LOL well I mean I would try to I don't think there's an age limit on anything in this world it's not how old you are it's how many minutes you've been alive

[0112358]

Voted C.

You're a little old to be wondering if you should date now versus "later". If you have no interest in dating now, I wouldn't assume you're magically going to develop a desire later. However you feel about dating now, I'd consider there's a high chance that "this is it".

[SGTAdam]

I would say date whenever you're ready. I'm 34 years old and haven't been in a relationship in 13 years. I've always felt like I'm not ready, and that personally nobody would want to date somebody that is not financially doing well. I mean I live with my mom, sister, sisters husband, and my niece, and the youngest is 20 years old and I just feel I don't know 😐 I usually dislike talking about it. Anyways do what you like and I guess whatever makes you feel comfortable.

[NYCQuestions1976]

You're free to date or not date at any age you choose. If you're contemplating dating now, maybe that's your subconscious giving you a nudge. Or you could just be posting a random question to create interesting content for us to answer. Only you know, and everyone is different. There's no set way or rule book to follow when it comes to @beebella dating, other than what @beebella wants and likes. 👍

[Kaamraj]

Women's sexual mean value (SMV) goes down with age because of increasing age, declining fertility and competition (everyday a girl turns 18). Whereas a man's value increases because of experience, income, and status within society. Normally marriages are when both values intersect.

[DianaWest]

ah, and you have probably been rejected too many times in your life by women who had "declining sexual market value.". like i have said to a few of the other men on here, women can just go to a sperm bank to have as many children as she wants. we really don't need shallow assholes as husbands to have a family. if men continue with this bullshit shallow mindset, many of you will end up in nursing homes childless and all alone. treat your woman well, because chances are she'll have custody of your current or future children if things between you don't work. so many sad lonely men are in nursing homes right now, while their wives are happily surrounded by their children.

[Kaamraj]

@DianaWest - Yes matter of fact I have been rejected, and I can speak on behalf of vast majority of men when I say that they also have been rejected. And I can also attest to the fact, that smart men aren't marrying or at least delaying marriage on their part to get a more balanced deal.

You're right women can go to the sperm bank and have as many children as they like, likewise men can also go to third world countries and pay for serrogacy services. I live in India so I know aboslutely what I'm talking about.

In one sentance you're saying that "treat your women well" and in another "she will have custody of your children if things dont work out" so you're actually proving my point that women recieve vast majority of the custodies just by virtue of being a woman.

And lastly you mention about men being alone in nursing homes, I don't know the gender demographic of nursing homes, however vast majorities of homeless persons are men, so the concept of being alone and dying alone isn't alien to men, nor do we fear it. I am only telling men to look out for their interests first.

[Gemlover]

Date when you're ready don't make someone else's life miserable because you really don't want to go out with them and when you do date date with a purpose make sure you're both even yoked and on the same page

[ArrowheadSW]

Well, do what you are comfortable with. If you don't have the desire to date I see nothing wrong with sitting on the sidelines for now. Any particular reason why you don't want to date or you just don't have any inclination towards it?

[Little_Bumblebee]

Don't date if you don't want to. What good will it lead to?

Why should being in a relationship be the most important thing?
You date when you feel ready for it.

Maybe you meet someone when you least expect it.

[ToastyOats]

Maybe? Luck is a cruel mistress when you have a few years left to have a family.

[Little_Bumblebee]

She never said she wanted a family or be pregnant.

[ToastyOats]

They never do.

[DianaWest]

@ToastyOats a few years? lol. you mean until she reaches menopause, which is likely her 40s or 50s? most women can have kids without any problem up to 39, 40.

[TremorJay]

You can put yourself out there, but if it doesn't happen naturally I don't think it's worth the trouble.

[RealMarek]

It depends on whether you want to have children. If so, time is of the essence. If not, there is no pressure, although be aware that dating is easier for women than it is for men in their 20s but more difficult for women than men at some point in their 30s.

[Anonymous]

I know people are being nice, but the answer really is A.

The longer you wait, the more problems you may start to experience with your body, and the less attractive you will appear to men in comparison to younger women.

This is the honest fact of the matter, upheld by countless accounts of older single women.

[DianaWest]

lol. if she wants children, she could just go to a sperm bank. who gives a fuck if men no longer find her attractive? women are making greater salaries than a lot of men nowadays as well, so should women really care if men no longer find them attractive?

[Opinion Owner]

@DianaWest I don't think money is the sole driving force for all people, personally I don't see money as the be all and end all - social capital and companionship are more valuable in my eyes.

And I'm not saying she older women cannot find anyone, but if they're seeking the same young attractive men they once would have, those men will likelier go for same age or younger partners. Older woman can and do find men closer their age, but they will need to compromise on their checklist.

I knew people would not like the uncaring truth, but this is the reality women say it is. You can avoid a partner entirely to get a child, but that's not what the asker is asking — and unfortunately, adoption at later ages is the healthier option.

[Apple1996]

I wouldn't say your wasting your good years but you are wasting your baby making years (if you want any babies) but dating at any age is fine. There is no rush to find love

[Anonymous]

Depends on if you like the idea if scrambling to find an 11th hour relationship in order to have kids and are comfortable with potentially ending up alone and childless.

If you want until you're in your thirties it mean choosing among losers or men with a record of failed relationships.

[DianaWest]

she could always go to a sperm bank to have kids. no need to get married or be in a relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

What a great way to be permanently poor and raise messed up kids.

[DianaWest]

lots of women are earning much higher salaries than a considerable amount of men nowadays anyways. and a woman will certainly raise messed up children if she finds a man with your mindset to settle down with. i know men are a little scared now that they can't threaten women with the whole biological clock bs. so many women are single moms by choice and have done so well. other women did not choose to be single moms but are also doing a great job. the woman's parents can help her. many women have friends, grandparents, parents, siblings that are more than happy to help. no need for toxic men really.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay 👌

[nella965]

@DianaWest I completely agree if I am still single by 35. I can always still have kids. Single women can have kids , single men can’t. I say it’s a better deal to have kids by a certain age than to be getting older and uglier by the year and yet still be hoping that a young woman of child bearing age would be interested in dating you.

[Opinion Owner]

Feminist stupidity. If you're having a child after 35 you're more likely to have a sick child.

Anyways I already have kids so I don't need any crazy chicks. Stay crispy.

[nella965]

My mom had me at 37. I turned out fine. All my aunts had 8 of my cousins 30 and after. We are all college educated and successful. 2 nurses, 1 accountant, 1 Mechanical engineer , 1 pharmacist , 1 civil engineer , 2 still in college

[nella965]

For the First Time Ever, Thirty-Something Women Are Having More Babies Than Their Twenty-Something Counterparts

www.google.com/.../...-women-in-their-twenties.amp

[Opinion Owner]

Doesn't change the statistics

[nella965]

My moms cousin also gave birth at 32 to her first daughter then her second daughter at 34. Both girls are 6 and 8 years old today, all healthy , attending elementary school.

[Opinion Owner]

Do you know the difference between an anecdote and a statistic?

[nella965]

@Opinion owner , just cus risks are increased. It doesn’t mean all kids born to 30 something yr old moms are fucked. Overwhelming Majority of us are born fine.

[Opinion Owner]

Yea but you really don't want to roll those dice a sick child is rough.

[nella965]

I’m telling you the truth. It’s not a lie. That’s why I am giving birth in my 30s too. I’ve seen many kids who ended up being fine.

[Opinion Owner]

I said 35 as the statistically significant age, open your ears.

[nella965]

No woman has kids in their 20s anymore. You’re not gonna find such a woman in any modern city. Unless you’re in some country side area where it’s a All Christian White Community

[nella965]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6YIz9jZPzvo

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not watching your video stop femsplaining you oppressor.

[nella965]

The videos contain facts that you want to avoid. The sources to the studies are shown in the video

[nella965]

But obviously your mom had you fucked in the head , cus you obviously have a problem with women.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay I'll watch your video if you watch mine

[Opinion Owner]

https://youtu.be/oavMtUWDBTM

[nella965]

Like I said , your mother had you in her 20s and yet you’re still a psycho. You can have retarded kids at any age

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I'm psycho because I don't agree with your feminazi bullshit. What a reasonable person you are.

[nella965]

No because you sound like you have something against women even before you began this argument

[nella965]

I’ll tell you something : women don’t tend to marry men who have something against women. Women marry guys who respect women.

So it really doesn’t matter how much you prefer women in their 20s. No decent sane woman would ever want to have kids with some misandrist like you

[Opinion Owner]

I have something against idiots regardless of gender. Figure your shit out.

[nella965]

Older fathers put health of partners, unborn children at risk
Men who delay fatherhood should consult their doctor and consider banking sperm before age 35

www.sciencedaily.com/.../190513081409.htm

[Opinion Owner]

Okay cool 👌

[DianaWest]

lol. statistics. some whiny men like to throw their numbers around to get women to settle down for their asses. i. e the chance of having a baby with Down Syndrome for women after 35 is 1 in 400. sounds like a scary number right? in other words (that are not as scary), women over 35 have a 0.25% chance of having a baby with Down syndrome. less than a 1 percent chance. so scary. men have fertility issues when they get older as well, particularly over 40, but for some reason they hardly ever bring them up. a lot of times, when a couple cannot get pregnant, it is due to the man's low sperm motility, not just the woman's age. i have absolutely nothing against respectful, kind men who know how to treat women. i do have a bit of an issue with men who like to say a woman's worth is equivalent to how many eggs she has left in her ovaries.

[nella965]

@DianaWest Its understandable for a man to only want to date women of child bearing age. But saying things such as " no woman should give birth over 30" or sounds misogynistic and very sexist. But this website tends to attract a lot of misogynists. Reality is, most men in the real world have no problem with women over 30 having kids. Most birthing moms are women over 30 in our modern day age.

[Iron_Man]

That’s what happens when you’re bisexual you’re just so confused you don’t have any desire to date and you’re tired of living that life of sleeping around and you want something meaningful but you don’t know which side to pick. No real man is going to be married to you and you are out sleeping around with the same sex believe me. You may not like this post but you need a wake up call and I’m the guy for it