Is it weird to never have an actual boyfriend at the age of 23?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

Extra detail- I'm shy and reserved and kind of the antisocial type of person. I’ve been hurt in the past by guys. They mocked how I looked in HS so that kind of made me insecure in how I looked. Guys barely come up to me for me. Most of the time they only want s*x.

Updates

+1 y

I kind of hate this guy in the past because of my own issues and he tried multiple times to get me to date him. Now he probably hates me. He just started bringing this girl to church with him. They never hold hands and he never waits for her. So I don't know if they are dating or not 🤷‍♀️.

[costa2]

It isn't weird even if you never have a boyfriend. Don't think too much.

[costa2]

Your new description clarifies why you feel so. So that's normal, if you've been hurt in past, not to feel excited about dating. But I'd say, never completely give up on it. This just means, you need to keep looking. 😁 Relax. Pretty common stuff at teenage.

[Asker]

I'm not giving up completely I'm just scared.

[costa2]

Ah, that's just fear of the unknown. I'll just let out a small warning. You are bound to meet evil people in your dating journey. And depending on how sensitive you are, you'll get hurt, may be a little less or more than others. But trust me, people generally get nicer after 30s. Teenagers are a little mean and immature. They say mean stuff and don't think twice before hurting someone easily. With time, you'll get better at handling this, and also you'll find people get better too

[Browneye57]

Slightly. What exactly are you waiting for?

[Asker]

To meet a guy that's not obsessed with me or crazy.

[Browneye57]

Well, you're just barely getting to prime dating age. So I'd say date a lot, and you might find ONE worth committing to. In the meantime you gain a lot of experience and knowledge on how to discern whether they're worthy or not. But you have to DATE to find out.

[Asker]

I guess you're right. The next opportunity I get from a guy I'll actually give him a chance.

[Asker]

Any input on my update?

[Browneye57]

Well yes... but first you have to quit making excuses for yourself and OWN IT. Social skills are learned, so here's your homework:
From today forward, EVERY day, EVERYONE you meet, try striking up a conversation with them. Get good at drawing people out. They just LOVE to talk about themselves. This way, when Mr. Right comes along you won't have any trouble striking up a convo and keeping it going.

Next, all ANY guy wants is sex. That's how they're wired. It's the testosterone - you know, the sex-drive hormone. They have some 15-25 times as much as you do, do it's just not a choice. They are DRIVEN to procreate. So it is YOUR job to assess their worthiness, and to get some commitment from them before you give in. This is how they connect, how they bond. I'm here to tell you, the more a guy likes you, the more he wants to do you. It's just reality. So accept it, deal with it, and move on.

Don't use whatever problems you had in high school as an excuse for today. Everybody had problems, challenges, anxiety, trying to find their way to fit it. Now it's time to be an adult, and CHOOSE what YOU want in your life, how YOU want it to be. Don't try to claim to be a victim, don't make excuses. Be the person YOU want to be.

Love and marriage isn't about what you GET, it's about being a place in your life where you have so much success, and happiness, and you know you've arrived, and you're ready to SHARE your life with someone special. There is no 'prince charming', and he's not going to swoop in and sweep you off your feet. You're gonna have to do the work to make this happen. So make it happen!

[Asker]

I'm trying to let go of the past but it's just taking a little longer than expected. People disliking me make matters worse for me. I don't know if the guy that I hurt is trying to make me jealous.

[Browneye57]

OWN your own feelings. CHOOSE what you want for yourself, for your life. Quit the blame game - don't give some guy any more thought. DO NOT turn power over yourself or your emotions to ANYONE or ANYTHING. Quit making excuses.

[harshadeep]

I am 25 but I too don't have girl friend.. so point of disappointment.. let's give it to fate and chill the life 🥳

[harshadeep]

Sorry.. no point of disappointment*

[Asker]

Any input on my update?

[zagor]

Not the norm, but not highly unusual either. I wouldn't be surprised if that was true of 10-20% of girls your age.

[Anonymous]

I don't know.

[Asker]

Then why did you answer 😂

[Opinion Owner]

I thought that I had a cogent point when I clicked on the question and then I lost it after reading the updates. So I reflexively answered as such.