Is it normal for a guy to choose work over women?

[Flower7]

Such as deciding not to date because of being too busy with work.

Yes, this is normal.

No, that’s weird.

[ShadezMcgee]

It is not uncommon, no. Men need to work and have purpose in order to feel happy at their core because it is in their nature to be doing something and accomplishing something. Dating is a good break away from that, but it will not be a good experience unless we have our energy focused in other outlets to be happy, because then we put the pressure of happiness on the woman we find and that will only push her away and make her resent us.

We need to have stability and happiness at the core and that comes with hobbies, friends, family, work/mission and purpose. Without those we will never be able to give a relationship what it needs in order to stay strong and healthy.

[DonkeyDan]

There will be times in everyone's life that they might decide to prioritise something over dating. I went through a period where I just had too much on my plate to start dating and didn't want to be that dick who didn't have time for someone so I just stopped looking for someone. Having said that if I had found someone that I was interested in and was interested in a future I wouldn't suddenly decided I was too busy and would find time for them even if it's just a couple of hours. So I guess what I'm saying is if you are seeing someone already and they suddenly become busy at work and can't see you at all, it's more than likely that they aren't that interested in you.

[Flower7]

Yes, that's exactly the situation I'm in. I went on a date with someone and I thought everything went well. We've stayed in contact for the past few months. But when the topic of another date comes up, he says he can't because of work. But he works from home, so that doesn't sound very believable to me.

[DonkeyDan]

Sorry it sounds like he's avoiding telling you he's not interested, certainly if he works at home. Honestly if someone is interested they'll make some time.

[Flower7]

That's probably true. What confuses me is that he still keeps messaging me. If I wasn't interested in someone, I wouldn't waste time chatting with them.

[DonkeyDan]

It's likely to keep his options open, I know this sounds crude, but it's to keep you on the hook.

[Shoichiro]

It is normal and it isn't surprising. I don't speak for all men but it seems to me that women want romance which I do not care for at all, in fact I think it's cringe and unnatural. I'd only get into a relationship with a woman if I wanted to have sex, otherwise it is pointless for me, but that doesn't mean that I would get into a relationship with a woman with any personality because personality is also a factor, however I wouldn't seek a relationship solely to find someone with a certain personality because that would be pointless.

Unless the woman wanted sex or something of that sort, I would much rather spend time doing something productive or anything else.

[Flower7]

Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of guys feel that way.

[Shoichiro]

About sex in a relationship? I don't understand what the point of a relationship is otherwise. Enlighten me, please.

[Flower7]

Companionship. Someone to talk to and spend time with.

[Shoichiro]

I really don't think I need a companion, not that having one would be bad, so it isn't necessary for me. I don't know about other men.

[ArrowheadSW]

Not sure how normal it is, but I have been in situations before where I really didn't have much choice. I was working long and weird hours and tired most of my off time, so I didn't have the time or energy for dating back then. It was either that, or leave the job that I mostly liked otherwise.

[Flower7]

Do you think you would have felt differently if you were working from home? The guy I’m asking about doesn’t even have to leave the house for work.

[ArrowheadSW]

Well if someone works from home, I would think that it would be a bit easier to schedule in some dating. That job that I was referring to involved being on call, and being called back to work after hours, etc. 👍

[KrakenAttackin]

@ArrowheadSW. Yeah, that's exactly right. When you work long hours, are tired during time off, the last thing you want to do is to do a dog-and-pony show for a random woman.

[GingerGuy]

It's certainly not uncommon let's say that. With both men and women sometimes. And especially if he's not where he wants to be in his career, or needs to work that much to survive. There could be other reasons as well, such as his own personal feelings (like maybe doesn't like/enjoy dating), doesn't like approaching, can't find single women, etc.

[Flower7]

There is a guy who I went on a date with a few months ago. We've stayed in contact since then, but when the topic of a second date comes up, he says he can't because of work. But I don't believe him because he works from home.

[Interstate]

A lot of people hold down a very demanding job. Now if there is a persistent pattern developing, then I would get concerned. Otherwise, I wouldn't look twice at it.

[Flower7]

I went out with a guy in June. But whenever the topic of a 2nd date comes up, he says he can't see me because of work. It's been almost 3 months. (And he works from home.)

[Interstate]

Ok three months... that is a definite pattern. Flower, it is in your best interest to move on with life. Now if the two of you can become friends, that is great. Otherwise, I would tell him you're moving on.

[Flower7]

You’re completely right!

[Interstate]

👍 I'm glad to have helped.

[molonski2]

Unfortunately extremely normal , some do not have " time " , funny however , they find " time " if its really a situation they wish to be in...

[Flower7]

Exactly! That’s the way I see it. It seems like if he was truly interested, the time would be there.

[molonski2]

in my view absolutely , I've heard this stuff so many times :)

[Flower7]

So sad…but I’m sure you’re right. I’m in this situation now where a guy says he can’t see me because of his job being so demanding. But I have doubts that he’s telling the truth.

[molonski2]

It could be true in some way , but maybe you can lock something in casually , and see how it goes..

[Ailaw22]

Sometime work takes priority I happen to be in same situation now where I feel I'm earning enough for me but need more financial security in few years where I will have to put on work and that will leave me with no time to date it's not like I don't want to date somebody right now so yeah thats the dilemma

[RavVid]

Your relationship with work will last longer than a relationship with a girl.

[Flower7]

That’s a good point.

[RavVid]

And often more fulfilling too. It is a part of the provider impulse for us to want to be good at a job. Even when it is an unpaid job!

I take part in the management of my apartment building at the princely rate of $0/hour. Mostly I just want it to be well run but the respect I get is a kick I have to admit.

[ToastyOats]

Why not both. How is it that people do not have the free time to do basic things. With all the technology we have.

[Flower7]

I don’t know…. this is just the excuse that I’ve been given for why the guy I’m interested in doesn’t have time to see me. I’m not sure whether I believe this or if it’s only an excuse.

[ToastyOats]

Maybe its normal and weird. I always make time for people im interested in, so there you go. Not sure why so many people voted for this being normal though. I feel like a lot of people are scared of relationships and commitment, partly because they see the value of it.

[ToastyOats]

Dont see the value of it, I meant to say.

[sawno]

Yup, especially on your age the guy is likely established so he needs an income. A date can be moved, but if he doesn't meet his work obligations he can get into a lot of trouble that could cost him his career depending on the job he has.

[Flower7]

I don’t mean rescheduling a date…I mean not being available to date at all and saying that work is the reason.

[sawno]

Is he able to explain why? Because he might be at the end of an important project he is behind on.

[Flower7]

Just says he’s busy with work and doing overtime.

[RealMarek]

It might not be most men who do it, but some do. Corporate executives love these guys. A lot of the time their efforts make other people very rich. Few of the workhorses ever make it to the upper ranks of a company.

[Flower7]

Does it make a difference that the guy I’m talking about works from home? Shouldn’t that make a job much less time-consuming?

[RealMarek]

Not necessarily. His management might be extremely demanding. He might be trying to outperform his peers. He might be afraid of getting laid off. Some companies keep track of how often employees are logged in, how much they use different software, and even how active they are on their keyboards.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think a lot of people both men and women tend to let their work go to their head and they forget the woman in their life which is kind of sad

[Gwenhwyfar]

Yes. Girls do it all the time. It’s unusual but not weird.

[blondfrog]

Yes unless you two have a deep emotional connection. Putting a fling or girlfriend priorities over your job is not gonna put food on the table and pay bills.

[Flower7]

I don’t mean that he would have to stop working. But it seems a bit odd for someone to not even have time for a date.

[blondfrog]

yeah then I would take that as not interested

[KrakenAttackin]

@Flower7. What is the point of a man going on a date when he know it won't go anywhere? The date will probably cost him $100 and for what?

[EaterPeter]

It's very normal it should not be though it is. A guy happy at / with work is generally happy in most areas of his life.

[EaterPeter]

Thank you for like!

[fred_durst]

of course ,? how can a guy who have no job/money can attract women?
man need to regain himself first ( by getting good job) , then after that , he may grow stronger with love

[Flower7]

Why can't he date in the evenings, after work?

[Manab]

Only extremely attractive guys can get dates while being broke , average and ugly guys have to work hard to get resources to even date average or below average women

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Work pays bills and puts food on the table. If a woman isn't going to do that for him then what you expect?

[Flower7]

Bills and food will always be needed. Is he supposed to stay single forever?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You asked work over woman, not if a man is supposed to be single forever.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Flower7. What is the second or third question you ask every man you meet? "So, what do you do"?

[Flower7]

I mean a guy who won't go on any dates and says his job is the reason for that.

[CaptainSmartass]

Maybe he's a bender, a workaholic, or he's asexual.

Simples...

[KrakenAttackin]

@CaptainSmartass. Or he realizes that work adds to wealth while women drain wealth.

[CaptainSmartass]

@KrakenAttackin You are wise. Wiser than Yoda, you are.

[KrakenAttackin]

@CaptainSmartass. Share wisdom I do...;)

[Wiredone]

With some guys , yes they put their career first.

[Flower7]

And they stop dating completely?

[Wiredone]

It could happen. I'm married but if I were single right now I wouldn't have time to date but I would stay in contact with the person. I'd even send her videos of things that I was doing.

[pizzalovershouse]

Not of he truly cares about a girl

[Flower7]

That’s a good point.

[Wise4myage]

Not normal, but what can you do?

[Flower7]

Find someone else who’s more available…

[Wise4myage]

Good idea.

[exitseven]

It could be normal for some. Not for me however.

[boggboss]

Yeah I would say so

[Flower7]

But wouldn’t he get lonely and want sex?

[boggboss]

Have a hookup or masterbait and guys tend to enjoy there own time more then women not always but more so

[Flower7]

The hookup part is sad, but probably true.

[boggboss]

Its only sad because off how u view it for them they don't have time for a romantic connection just want the pleasure off sex

[Flower7]

It’s sad because I’m in a situation with a guy where he says he can’t see me because of being too busy with work. So I hope he’s not having his needs met with hookups.

[boggboss]

Oh I see it's dependent on the guy

[WonderingManII]

Your required to work.

[Flower7]

Yes but I don’t understand why some people say they can’t do both.

[WonderingManII]

It depends on the situation, and the job.

[KrakenAttackin]

Ignore females, obtain currency.

[Flower7]

But don't guys need sex also?

[KrakenAttackin]

Use currency for escorts.

[humanearth]

Very normal