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How do you let a guy know he’s being too nice, boring, and too much of a gentleman? (Page 2)
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Honestly I don’t bc he has a right to his personality. If he doesn’t suit me and in a way I can’t accommodate or meet on the middle, I guess I’d break up or never date him to begin with 🤷♀️
I doubt that you even know what his personality is.
I saw you mention he’s going too slow. I do f think that’s about being nice it is either how he’s comfortable or he thinks it’s what you want or he’s unsure. Just make a move yourself in that case. He will either turn out to meet you and then some or you can deal with whatever the situation is when it happens. Moving slowly in my opinion is not a reason to break up so if that’s the issue disregard my earlier statement. Just move it yourself—see how it goes 🤷♀️
^I agree.
I don’t know what you were referring to Jamie? I meant if I’m dating a guy and I secure I don’t like his traits. If they are not disrespectful I wouldn’t feel right “ correcting” him to suit me.
@VIVANT You said "he has a right to his personality.". I'm just saying you may not know him well enough to know what his true personality actually is. That's all I'm saying.
@Jamie05rhs
I was responding to her scenario only. In that if I’m dating someone and I feel they are too” insert anything that is not negative fern if it not my true” I wouldn’t try to change the person. If I don’t like how they act and it isn’t actually a behavioral issue like not being direct etc then I wouldn’t feel right trying to fix them. I’m not sure what you mean still. As far as knowing a person of course I can only know what I know based on what they share and I’m saying based on what they share if it’s in good faith I’m not gonna tweak it.
If someone told me I’m too direct or too considerate or too talkative, or too active, I mean I can’t even imagine being told some intrinsic part of my personality bothers someone like why are they with me at that point. and maybe in the case of this guy he is acting not genuine but since I wouldn’t know, I’m not going to ask him to be diff than how he appears.
I’m also not saying she should or shouldn’t I’m saying I wouldn’t I will do things like ask someone to be honest or more direct, bc that’s essential for communication and if they can’t I’d re consider dating. But I don’t think withholding info is so much a personality as it is a bad he if. Being nice is a bit diff tho it can over lap of course
@VIVANT Well, speaking of this situation specifically, I'm just letting you know (as a guy): that's not a personality type. It's just etiquette and manners.
@Jamie05rhs
No lol some people are really just kind it’s in their heart. I agree timing is diff but that wasn’t made clear initially so I was answering about being nice not about being too patient.
Oh; I thought we were talking about being a gentleman.
Also, some people can be nice and "mean" at the same time. But a person won't show you their more dominant side unless the relationship is close enough and unless permission is given. Otherwise, it's just rude.
@Jamie05rhs
I was just responding to someone being too nice. Some people are nice and it isn’t for everyone. The rest is unknown bc this is hypothetical lol
I assumed she meant personality not being passive bs bring aggressive tho this also can be personality some people are not confused is being other than how they act 🤷♀️
@VIVANT Can you re-write your last sentence and correct the typos, please?
@Jamie05rhs
Sorry
What I was saying is yes people here’ve artificially but people also here’ve authentically. If I was dating someone and after clear communication I discover their behavior clashes with what I thought or what I align with I will accept it or I will move on. I’m not going to risk hurting someone asking them to change how they are in the off chance that they are not actually who they are.
If I discovered a guy was mean, I wouldn’t ask him to be nice assuming he was faking s he might be faking but I’m going to assume he’s not. I’d leave.
One thing missing in her relationship is communication but I do not think saying change is good communication. I don’t think it’s fair or respectful.
I find it curious you assume he’s not really this way. I mean plenty of guys are actually just “ nice” everyone has a mean streak but the default may be “ nice”
@VIVANT Thank you for rewriting.
But I think you're missing the point:
People can be two different ways and still be themselves. One is the polite society "don't embarrass your mama" bland robot self.
And the other is their "pickup truck in a cornfield under the moon" mischievous self.
They're both authentic. Because in both cases they ARE acting honestly and authentically. It's just different modes.
Well, you don't have much experience with relationships, so you just don't know. But the truth is, asking someone to change something for you to make you happier is a BIG part of what goes on in every successful committed relationship.
(P. S. Usually when people are MEAN, they're not faking. Take that as a sign. And run.
... HOWEVER, Hugo was faking when he put on an act at the party trying to impress Arden. But that's the exception to the rule.)
"I find it curious you assume he’s not really this way. I mean plenty of guys are actually just “ nice” everyone has a mean streak but the default may be “ nice”". I didn't understand this last paragraph. (I was able to READ it. I just didn't understand it. :). )
Just look him in the eyes and tell him he has the passion of a high fiber cereal. Some guys just need some reassurance you aren't going to take him to court for doinking him.
Sounds like he’s been hurt badly and he’s playing super safe.
I would tell him as follows:
We have 2 options, honey, we go together to buy lingerie as besties or you bang me on the kitchen table.
There you go. 👍
Talk to him dirty 😂
Tell him straight what you want.
Its not romantic but, you also want someone to be a little naughty. Good luck
Say things like, "okay daddy"
"If I do are you gonna spank me?"
Things to inject far more sexuality to the conversation. He'll sink or swim, but you can give him floaties
Stop simpering, guys.
Simpering?
It's an English word
Okay wellll
Well, okay!
Lol what does it mean
It means... shut up?
Makes no sense
Shut up, baby; I know it!
[Recites] Stephen Hawking has a great sense of humor. He does one-liners, but not stand-up comedy.
Whatttt
What-what?
In your buttt
I feel like you're getting a tone; do I detect a tone?
Ew no
Damn straight, slut. 🦒🍆🇺🇸🎲
Ewww he try out of here with your bologna looking ass nipples and small wiener
My penis is in the top 3% x 1% of the world, ya vaguely Mexican 5/10.
Mhmm sure it is bud that’s why you felt the need to rate me after my comment. Seems to me like you have issues with impotence and your wee little peen is a touchy subject.
Watch the porn on my Forgotten FuRyan MeWe page if you're skeptical, darkie. Come join me on MeWe! It's the only social network built on trust, control and love.: https://mewe.com/i/ryanbrewer4
No thanks
There's no need to get hysterical.
Right! Don’t get hysterical
Said Karen, irrationally.
Ur pretty cute, but in the end your shallow so he should dump you cause all you want is a badboy, then you can look back and say damn i shoulda just accepted that guy cause i wasted years of your life on a bad boy & went down the wrong path.
Chill out… all I’m saying is I like him but I want him to be more spontaneous and not scared to be Perv
Then tell him u wanna get naughty
Well what I did was put his hands on my bare boobs and touched him down there that gave him the hint to stop being such a gentleman and touch me already 😂
You can just tell him that, stop being all silent and weird. He probably knows that already. He's being thoughtful, that's a good thing.
Don't settle. Because in the long run you can't change who people are.
He will continue to be himself while you'll start feeling even more bored.
So leave him. These are just attraction hormones making you stay.
You date a bad boy, sadistic, prick bastard like me and let him know about how inconsiderate I am of your feelings and how rough I am with you in the sack.
I think tell him to be more confident, that there isn’t the need to be fully politically correct, and that he can point out your errors without being mean at the same time.
This is me. Lol. Nicest guy in the world but if a girl likes the bad boy type…. Not me. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes not. Lol
Put your hand on his dick (if you mean it sexually)
That will definitely work!
You chose a beta. A weak guy. He's just never gonna blow your doors off honey.
I think you just need to communicate with him more honestly… just say it.
it's asinine posts like this that make relationships harder and men and women have unneccessary conflicts and why relationships don't last in this day and age and why men and women have a hard time understanding each other
it figures this asinine post is coming from you the idiot who gets bored with guys easily
Learn how to write a sentence and insane then talk to me
i'll learn as soon as you learn how to quit being a piece of shit
Hmm maybe I’ll hit up your dad and tell him to put you in check.
have fun finding his grave and digging up his corpse you sick fuck
I will 😘
Get a few years older and you will like it. Rather than change him from being a good man, take the risk that a more exciting man will change for you when you do. Lol
You cannot change him. If you do not like that about him, just dont mislead him. Go your own way and find your type of guy. You will find plenty of them.