How to tell a nice guy that he's not my type?

[Ersacol28]

I've been trying online dating mostly to hook up, so this is my problem I saw this handsome white guy's profile and he "looked hot" but when we met up he was too fat!!! And I mean too fat 220lbs of fat not muscle!! and I told him that he didn't looked like his pictures... he said they were 5 years old :S anyways Im not saying he wasn't nice he wAs extra nice to me since he said girls like me doesn't date him ( I'm a very confident girl so I think he meant pretty girls ;) I did had a good time he made me laugh and we had some things in common now he's been calling me, texting me (I don't answer back) and he even said he got me the phone that I wanted and some other presents since Monday is my bday and he wants to meet me up.. but I don't want to hurt him he's a good guy but just not my type. How do I tell him I don't like him without being a bitch?

Updates

+1 y

It wasn't just the physical thing by the way the problem is the LIE why post a 5 year old pic just to date? Anyway you're going to meet up and you will see the real person, plus I don't look like I did 5 years ago! So why even lie about it, that's just not right

[geraya-sansey]

Oh come on girl, fi the pic you see in his profile is his pic 5 years ago, and you liked him bec of that , so give him a chans, may be some thing happend to him took his happiness away so he become fat, telle him to do some workout and get his body back if he really loves you , he will get muscles and you will have him you will be happy to have him and you give him happiness

[Ersacol28]

Hahahahahaha you made me laugh, well I do loveee to work out and I'm in good shape maybe we could share some tips :)

[geraya-sansey]

yes , good idea, enjoy workout together , if a pretty girl would leave me becaus of fat, then i will workout every day , and loos my fat in couple of monthas maximum, so would you give him a chans :)

[Sigma88]

Just tell him he's not "your type" & let him go find a girl that will like him. You're not going to come out of this without looking like a judgmental bitch, it's doesn't work like that in these cases. You want a hot guy, & he needs a girl that won't judge him. Shit happens, do what you gotta do.

[Sigma88]

*Reads Update*
True, it is misleading. But it still gives the impression you care more about his looks than who he is. Either way, reject him so you both can go your own ways.

[Ersacol28]

Now tell me the truth would you honestly call me back if I have a profile picture looking like a Barbie and when we meet up I looked more like Barney?

[Sigma88]

LMAO, honestly I would sneak a peak at the meeting spot first, & if it wasn't "managable," I'm out before they see me. Done it once, I'm such a horrible person... But weight isn't necessarily a dealbreaker for me
But when it comes to online crap, being catfished in some way is kinda expected. Answer honestly, if his pic was updated to how he currently looks, would you even have talked to him in the first place? I'm kinda betting no. It's clear he's a nice enough guy, & will likely make a girl happy, but most girls probably won't know that until he lost weight or a girl genuinely can look past his weight.
That's where some of the hostility is coming from, in some of the opinions I'm reading. But, as I say, that's just how it is sometimes.

[Ersacol28]

No I honestly wouldn't talk to him and I've been catfished too, I and I'm a horrible person too lol... I was in the middle of a horrible date I told him I was going to use the restroom and left the blocked his number and never talked to. him again all this happened again for being a catfish!

[Sigma88]

And there you go. It's not really being catfished, but his appearance. Look, you like what you like, whether it be shallow or not. Everyone's shallow to a degree. I'm guilty of my moments too. You ask this question looking for a way to reject the guy without looking like a stereotypical, judgmental pretty girl (not calling you that, that's simply how it's going to look). You can't, it doesn't work that way. Best you can do is be tactfully honest with him.

You admit he's a good guy, so eventually he'll improve himself & possibly look better than he did before (guys pull this off all the time). He'll be fine, with a little time, meet a good girl, & like you won't give this another thought. It all works out as it should, for both of you.

[Sunflower19]

Honestly, their isn't going to be a nice way :/
Just say "you seem like a great guy but you're not really my type. We can be friends though." But not being attracted to somebody because of their weight is kinda mean :/ but I'm here to help so... just say that haha.

[Sigma88]

Throwing the "we can be friends" line in there kinda adds insult to injury. The rest is pretty good.

[Aubric]

You can't change a selfish slut.

[Sunflower19]

@Sigma88 well true :/
@Aubric was that directed towards me or the Asker?

[Aubric]

@Sunflower That was directed at the asker not you.

[Sunflower19]

@Aubric oh!! okay!

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Fuck all these people trying to make u into the bad guy He knew he was unattractive that's why he catfished u. I would just friend zone him

[anastasis]

You won't have to tell a nice guy he's not your type. I'm a nice guy and have read your writing for 10 seconds and can already tell you're not my type. If he's into you, he can't be that nice, because you strike me as a total bitch. Thank you and blessings.

[Ersacol28]

Thanks I know I'm a bitch ;)

[anastasis]

You don't say...

You need to go date a gangsta with a phat ride who turns out to be gay by middle age. That's more your type.

[Krushhbrownies]

You just gonna have to say truthful to your feelings. The situation won't change unless you do something about it and being upfront is the most effective way, though there is a good chance you'll hurt his feelings so don't be harsh, say I don't think I'm making any connection with you or somethin...

[Prof_Don]

Say you're not attracted to him because he didn't look like the pics in his profile.

What he did was really deceitful.

[Ersacol28]

Thank you!!

[Prof_Don]

Glad I was able to help you. :)

[TaureanBull81]

Honesty is the best policy @Ersacol28. Tell him you felt disappointed that he couldn't be honest in terms of the photos he posted on the online dating site. It is deceitful!!!
Physical attraction does play a part.

[serg11]

Honestly just be real with him and tell him the truth, I mean you are not forced to be attracted to anyone, but in my opinion if he was nice and treated you well he at least deserves an answer. It just seems like it will bring a conclussion.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Well, people lie about their self which is wrong, Tell him like it is, you met him
from a dating site people do that shit all the time. We got live and learn :-)))

[Anonymous]

"Hi, don't take this personally, but I think we're not compatible." You add the details

[Error_204]

"I don't like you. You're not my type."

May as well spare everyone the rigmarole.

[Nerdvana]

Be honest and direct. The truth will hurt, but curiosity kills

[Aubric]

Just say "I am a selfish slut who only cares about myself and prefer abusive bad boys".

[Ersacol28]

True you're right

[Aubric]

And you should add that you're one of those girls with an ugly personality and that you also prefer to be a miserable bitch and is most likely going to die because my abusive future bad boy boyfriend will end up doing something bad to me because I am a stupid girl that makes stupid decisions.

[Ersacol28]

True true I'm a hot girl with an ugly and miserable personality... hahaha you're too funny want to meet up? Lol

[Aubric]

Right I am supposed to believe that your hot lol. I would not want to be in the same room as you whatsoever. You remind me of those trashy girls on reality shows.

[Ersacol28]

Are you. sure? I have no problem showing the REAL me I'm 5'3, 115lbs and mixed girl... should we call it a date? Lol

[Aubric]

Sure... lol p. s I am not fat... lol

[front2back]

Tell him his stroke game is weak.

[dudeman]

Just say you're not attracted to him

[Klaatu51]

tell him as it is, what are you afraid of? LOL

[Anonymous]

Just be honest. He wasn't.

[medical2523]

Was it the weight issue

[Ersacol28]

The lie was the issue too he posted 5 year old pics why not being honest and post recent pics? I don't look like I did 5 years ago I can't trick people like that just to go out on a date that to me is not right

[medical2523]

I have been catfished before too I thought I was talking to these girls turned out they were someone completely different

[medical2523]

But yeah the guy could have been desperate which I can relate too I'm not really attractive anything to land a date with a girl