Can anyone traditional survive in a modern dating world?

[kc_4308]

With how dating expectations are is it possible? How to survive in a dating world that has changed decades ago with how dating and marriage is viewed by the collection expected? Doesn’t make it right , but I understand it’s the way of the world now. Is it better just not to deal at all? My thing is just because society or a collection is doing it doesn’t mean I’ll do it. I rather walk the journey alone too.

Updates

+1 y

I didn’t create society rules society did and changed them. It doesn’t mean I agree and participate. No somethings can’t be adjusted. I’m not asking for the world to change , that’s over due and long altered. I’m not changing who I am - I’ll manage and navigate.

[WesBrewer]

As someone who was raised traditionally and thinks in traditional ways and is looking for a traditional girlfriend, I would just make sure that you find someone who is traditional as well otherwise they will break up with you because you won't go far enough for "love" so you must not love them. although if the guy is traditional often girls can deal with it, but if the girl is often men can't, not never but often.

[kc_4308]

I agree it’s turning that way for me why I say I rather deal with traditional guys at this point

[WesBrewer]

Personally, I would say the traditional "dating system" is much healthier as well, so good for you and I hope you find your guy.

[kc_4308]

Thanks me too - I’m hopefully

[GoldenAxer]

You can go back to something resembling the old ways. You find your own community of good people looking out for each other, make connections, expand the community inviting new people you can vouch for, other people do the same, meet new members of the community, and find one you like that likes you back. That's how I found my wife along with many of my lifelong best friends.

[GoldenAxer]

In my case, I sort of built the community. I started with one friend, we hung out together. Then we invited more of our separate friends to form a little social group, and more, I organized social events, invite more, and eventually, I met my wife at a picnic we organized. She was a friend of a friend.

[GoldenAxer]

And with this little community that I like to think I had a large part in building (although that very first friend did his share of invites and organizing), multiple people in that community got together and are now married happily. For example, my wife's friends merged into that community when we got married but at her wedding, one of my friends from my community and one of her friends from hers met and they fell for each other at our wedding. Then a few years later they had the wedding at the exact same place my wife and I had ours in Hawaii.

[GoldenAxer]

So I think you either find a community or you build one. Then you find your loved interest there.

[GoldenAxer]

A person without a sense of belonging and value in a community has a lot more critical things missing in their lives as I see it than their love and sex life. And that's the problem with the modern world of the internet and bars and nightclubs and dense populations as I see it. It's somewhat antithetical to the notion of a real community (not some online community, that doesn't count) where people really look out for each other. It's what I was missing in my 20s living a nomadic lifestyle both literally in terms of traveling to new places all the time and also in terms of searching for and finding love interests without any grounding in a community.

[kc_4308]

This is interesting I like this ideal now I have to factor in the pandemic and vaccine

[kaylaS91]

Of course.
I think a lot of people think that because it’s online which gives the illusion of more options, that it’ll be easier for everyone who gives dating sites a try. It’s just as difficult as dating in person, if not even worse.


But yeah, of course you can succeed in finding someone, whether you’re ‘traditional’ or not.

[kc_4308]

This is beyond how you meet people. I briny cere for online dating and it doesn’t make me less or more traditional that’s a preference I’m not interested in meeting people at especially dating apps. This is beyond that this is about a certain mindset that a lot of people don’t carry anymore.

[kaylaS91]

Online dating is modern dating though..

[kc_4308]

I just said I don’t online date

[kc_4308]

I don’t care to meet people online

[kaylaS91]

Oh I see. So you just posted your opinion/rant, not a question.

[kc_4308]

I can post how I want too clearly I’m asking questions.. how did you get a rant out of this?

[kaylaS91]

I fail to see what you’re asking?

[kc_4308]

I’m sorry you didn’t read the questions

[kaylaS91]

You survive by not being over dramatic and meeting people. If your problem was actually with loneliness, I can’t imagine making arrangements to meet someone through digital means would be a deterrent so maybe it’s time for you to be alone for even longer and do some self-reflection.

[kc_4308]

Everyone seemed to respond and understood the question, but you didn’t for some odd read why is that? So please get off my post

[kaylaS91]

No thankyou, I’m enjoying my time here quite a bit.

[MzAsh]

It’s refreshing to hear that you don’t expect the world to change. There are people who do and they’ll in for a disappointment. Just be who you are and have faith that you’ll find someone right for you when the time is right.

[kc_4308]

Thanks 😊

[kc_4308]

Just trying to navigate while being me

[Phoenix98]

It's possible it's not easy but it is possible.

I'm traditional and I haven't changed for anyone and I know other people who are traditional who also are doing alright in it.

Just because society say's something doesn't mean that's the right way or that you should do it. The only people who follow blindly like that are sheep and your not a sheep are you?

Make your own decisions and choices don't let a collective like society make it for you.

[kc_4308]

I’m not changing it’s a challenge

[kc_4308]

Not changing honey

[dray995]

Probably not. Too many people in the current cultural world willing to settle for laziness, mediocrity and quick fixes but blaming everyone else except themselves for their own problems. It’s hard to find traditional people outside the mega churches which are overcrowded. Where else can a traditional person find someone “good” to date?

[kc_4308]

I don't know I’m just isolated now.. hidden

[Clarke498]

Yeah I'm sorta in the same boat.
Being anti social i have two options:
1. Enter bars, clubs etc that i hate, to ask out random girls. Something that's as "un-me" as it gets, or2. Get Tinder. And i really don't want Tinder. Don't want up lose my virginity thanks to the phone finding the girl...

[RealMarek]

How about more traditional dating sites that are not “hook-up” sites? You can state up front in your profile how traditionally you approach dating.

[Clarke498]

@RealMarek I don't know. Everyone wants different thing in a dating site.

[kc_4308]

Same Clarke I don’t do online dating apps period.

[Clarke498]

If i were to try, it shouldn't be as much a profile, but a page with info. Maybe a picture, some interests and then do the rest at the first meet up.

[RealMarek]

Maybe try networking through churches? Pastors or priests might know of like-minded people and might be willing to make introductions.

[Clarke498]

@RealMarek lol yeah will try that

[lightbulb27]

yea, my girlfriend and I did... but we are 20yrs ahead of you. I think you have to weed through the mess. those people are out there... some on gag.

[kc_4308]

This gives me hope and motivation it’s a mess

[lightbulb27]

I neglected to mention, I met her on gag, but neither was seeing it as a dating site, just clicked...:)

[kc_4308]

Nice thanks 😊 also met someone on GAG

[HaveNoName]

Agree 100000% with you. Let the fucked up society go burn in hell. Stick by your principles. Traditional values may not be followed; but they will not die. Much respect for you. May your resolve stay strong.

[kc_4308]

Thanks 😊 I’m done with it and don’t know how I’ll fit

[kc_4308]

Me being modern will never happen

[RealMarek]

Society is changing rapidly, driven by the predilections of the socio-economic elites. They’ll never ask permission. However, you don’t have to change your approach to dating. How about setting up a dating profile (avoid hook-up sites) and specify how you want to go about dating, what you are not willing to do, etc., up front? There might be some men out there who would be interested.

[RealMarek]

Or network through churches? There might be pastors or priests who are aware of men who have the same problem and could make introductions.

[kc_4308]

I don’t online date and I’m better off finding a man outs and about.. just living.. If he shows up he does..

[kc_4308]

I’m not looking

[RealMarek]

There is nothing wrong with that.

[kc_4308]

I’m trying to flow in society with how I am

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/fqIf3k2un9w

[kc_4308]

Some things aren’t negotiable

[kc_4308]

Or flexible it’s the new way if the world

[kc_4308]

What people expect the “ new way “‘

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/WJDbaivDngc

[kc_4308]

Yes I get what you’re saying it’s pretty hard when you have a certain mindset and others don’t.. it’s makes it difficult a bit , but thanks.

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/-C9SaFMdsdQ

[kc_4308]

My morals and standards aren’t changing

[kc_4308]

I don’t do friends with benefits or casual sex

[kc_4308]

I’d like to get married one day , but due to this climate I doubt it’s happening

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/VmPnmZFFsL4

[kc_4308]

Most of the men don’t and that’s ok

[Twalli]

Depends on what you believe traditional dating rules are. Also if you want an antiquated rule you need to know that there were reasons that rule was removed and you may not like to go back to the time where that rule made sense. For example when men paid for everything it was because the woman could not work and did not own anything. Obviously she couldn't pay. So if you expect the man to pay for everything, you can't have any of your own money or property.

[kc_4308]

It’s not about what a guy can pay it’s about a certain mindset that most men don’t have

[Twalli]

I was just giving an exampke

[Danish87]

Its better just to not deal at all. Well that's just running out of situation. And you might not need someone today. But later age you need someone hand to hold.

[Danish87]

I agree, today marriage has become mostly on few expectations, other things seen later. Mostly in arranged marriage.

[kc_4308]

I’m not changing who I am

[Danish87]

Well, it's saying
When there is Strom, trees that stand straight falls first. Those who bend survive.

Meaning, the one who don't change or adapt according to time and situation, suffers more.

[Danish87]

Try to be flexible somewhat

[kc_4308]

Welp.. I’m not a follower - I’m leader. I haven’t suffered and managed to be fine all this time. Last 7 years just fine.

[kc_4308]

Nope Danish87

[kc_4308]

Being flexible means I go against my own morals , beliefs, and values

[kc_4308]

Somethings can’t be flexible on

[Danish87]

Well you were mid 20's seven year from now, you need to see next 7-20 years.
Time changes even our body and mind (thinking).
Also, don't treat life like business. Whether you are leader or follower you need other either to lead someone or follow someone.

[Danish87]

No not to go against you morals and principles. But yes need to adjust according to time.
Don't compromise but have to adjust

[kc_4308]

Doesn’t mean I have to do what others say and do.. doesn’t change that. My selection may be limited but I’m not modern at all. Sorry.

[kc_4308]

Adjusting means giving up a lot I don’t agree with. I don’t agree with society changes period.

[Danish87]

Something can't be flexible on
Just read the saying above I said about Strom and tree. It's a Gujarati (language) saying.

[kc_4308]

Society has changed I accepted that - there are things I’m not giving up to date someone.

[Danish87]

Who says you need to do what other is saying? Nothing such.
Well Change is inevetble, and change is nature of law.
And change is not always bad.

You don't need to change on whole, but adopting what is good is best to do.
Same way not all modern things are bad.

[kc_4308]

There are a lot of modern things bad.. it’s why there is so many issues in relationships and marriages. I briny agree with modern society of dating. The influencing is sad and horrible in my opinion.

[kc_4308]

Society was influenced this way and seemingly forgot about doing it the right way.

[kc_4308]

Shorter terms programming is real

[kc_4308]

God is first in my life always in everything I do..

[Danish87]

Well, the problem is you are just seeing everything negative.
Change the approach to see things.

[Danish87]

One more problem, you are too much worrying about society.

You can change society about what they think and do. You just need to accept and adjust accordingly.

Nor you can leave society. It's important for survival

[Danish87]

See if you don't mind any religious things.
I will suggest yout to read Bhagwat Geeta.
It's above religion and will teach that way of life. You will get answer to your questions.

[kc_4308]

I’m not interested in modern dating or modern men.. I’m trying to navigate in society while maintaining who I am.. it’s a challenge

[Danish87]

Bhagwat Geeta is not just a book.

[slatyb]

People still date and get married. What’s your problem?

[kc_4308]

It’s a question

[slatyb]

What's the question? What do you mean by "traditional" ?

[kc_4308]

I’m traditional and most men aren’t

[kc_4308]

I need use to date modem men

[kc_4308]

Refuse “

[slatyb]

Traditional in what way? What do you want that you feel "modern men" won't give you?

[kc_4308]

I’m traditional and want to date such… I don’t agree with modern dating

[slatyb]

Different people have different ideas of "traditional". I was wondering what it meant to you.

[kc_4308]

Why does it matter? It only applies to someone in interested in

[VikingWarLord]

There are tons of beta males who worship the ground that AVERAGE b! tches walk on, so if you're a female you can get one of those, but that's not what most of you want. You want a Hot, Tall, Dominant, Slightly Sadistic Bad boy like me instead, but we don't stay faithful for long!

>;-)~~~~<

[MzAsh]

Some of us love being worshiped though lol

[VikingWarLord]

@MzAsh But not by the average beta male with a small D.
That's why Original Posters like this are complaining.

[MzAsh]

She shouldn’t be looking for the “alpha” bad boy because he doesn’t have long term potential.

[kc_4308]

I’m not complaining though.. guys like you are delusional

[Avicenna]

Absolutely. There are guys out there that’s love to meet someone traditional.

[B4852]

Society should certainly not influence you in your traditional views. You just need to look in the right places, which maybe in more rural areas.

[kc_4308]

Society plays a big factor in how things are done

[kc_4308]

I’m not changing, but it changes how I approach things

[B4852]

It does change things. But doesn't mean you don't have to remain traditional if that's what you want.

[kc_4308]

I’m traditional and not changing

[B4852]

Good.

[zagor]

Survive? sure, as long as they don't date a serial killer. Succeed, that is another matter.

[Kaneki05]

Hopefully not. Traditional normally = bad and outdated.

[kc_4308]

Thanks for your opinion 😊

[Kaneki05]

You don't have to change, and will find someone there is someone for everyone. Just my opinion of not wanting traditional to survive just as your opinion would want it to. So thank you for your opinion too, stay true to who you are.

[kc_4308]

I’m traditional and not not interested in modern dating or modern men

[PoliteSpeaker]

Just do you. The old stuff works too.

[YollyM]

Nope

[Jamie05rhs]

You got divorced. You're not traditional.

[kc_4308]

My ex husband cheated what’s next?

[kc_4308]

So yes MYOB

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm sorry.

[shortster]

I hope so.

[anylolone]

Yes.

[Slim57]

Miserably sure

[kc_4308]

Hey , that’s my choice and there’s..

[kc_4308]

Society has changed to something not of God and God isn’t involved in a lot of things.

[Slim57]

You think that's the reason why?

[kc_4308]

Societal changes and expectations

[kc_4308]

“ I do because the rest of the world does it “ .. not my cup of tea

[Slim57]

Because god isn't ivolved?

[kc_4308]

It’s the mindset of people too.. lack of lots of thugs. Religion plays a factor if that person is religious.

[kc_4308]

Things and future reference I will never date a modern guy ever