Why Do Guys Want A Relationship 2 Days Later?

[Anonymous]

That’s it. I’m sick of dating. A causal date - what could possibly go wrong? I can tell you the answer to that — I haven’t even kissed the guy and suddenly he’s asking if we’re just friends or in a relationship. Suddenly, he wants to know what I’m doing every single day. How many kids I want.

Don’t get me wrong, of course I want to be married and commit to the right guy. But I can’t force my feelings. I don’t fall in love so quickly. Love is earned - I like to take my time and get attached to the good qualities of a man.

How do I date without finding myself suddenly in a forced relationship? Why do these men try to claim me like 2 days later? Please help me!!!

Sincerely — an agonised Alyssa.

[TurkishDİxon3419]

It's okay if you stay away from flirting. Let it flow, be natural. If you really start to love someone then take your chance.

[Asker]

I didn’t even flirt! :(

[TurkishDİxon3419]

Flirting is the way of talking that leads to a relationship. You see it as a friend, maybe he sees it differently. A guy doesn't talk to a girl he doesn't know for no reason.

[Asker]

Ahhhhhh I am an idiot

[Tstrbrainer]

😂😂😂 sounds like a poor guy who doesn't have much experience with dating.

[wonderfulstation404]

😂😂 man you deserve a dollar on cash app

[Tstrbrainer]

😂😂😂

[Asker]

You really think so?

[wonderfulstation404]

yes cuz I'm seeing myself back in the days LMFAO...

[Tstrbrainer]

Yeah being shy and introvert, I can relate. Just nervous due to the presence of a pretty woman

[jennifer_bloom]

If a guy is too eager to rush things he could be thinking with his sexual instincts and not with hid heart in which case you need to reevaluate whether you believe he will give you the type of treatment you desire in a boyfriend, a man who thinks with his heart, is able to take his time, no matter how much he likes you.

[JustAnj]

I'm confused where did he ask you to marry him? How is he moving to fast?

A lot of people just jump the gun, no one here can tell you anything about what he is thinking except him. Are you sure your ready for a relationship?

If you wanted to know something about him that would dictate if you to are a good match or not wouldn't you want to know?

I was straight with my guy from the get go, told him straight up if he isn't looking for something serious than we should not be together. I don't play games. If you don't know what you want then take a step back and go make some friends. Don't waste guys time.

Overall we can't know this guys intention talk to him and pay attention to how he acts. If he isn't for you break it off, if you just want to remain dating tell him, don't be scared to be upfront. You chose your life just like he chooses his. So go talk to him and if you like him answer his questions, if your not ready to be serious be straight with him. Done deal. Don't make it complicated socialize LOve.

[Asker]

The intention is always gonna be there for me. But I can’t decide whether I want to be committed in any way to anyone from the get go. I need time. I like things to happen naturally.

[JustAnj]

@Alyssa11

You mean you want to connect slowly and see were it goes.

Some people can naturally just know right away and be together for decades so there is no true rule to when.

But yeah if you mean generic stuff like questions then he already made himself the wrong guy for you. If you want a guy to be less upfront then he has to be the right match for you. He isn't really moving to fast, he just wants know specific things about you, that's it.

If he just off the bat said marry me then yeah okay the guy isn't really thinking straight, other then that he is just asking you serious things that matter for a future.

May I have told my now husband how I felt. It took us 7 years to tie the Knott and he said if he wasn't such an idiot he would have married me earlier on.

If your not ready to be committed or serious drop the guy and move on, you two have different level of paces, he knows what he is looking for and your not sure yet, you want to be 100% sure, which is fine. Overall if you keep running into serious dates try to make it clear from the gecko go that you are looking to feel out your date slowly and do not want to jump into anything serious right away including sharing your personal life and feelings until you are ready and more serious about them. Be clear that you will make that known if it is the case.

This tells the guy to move on or to wait because your worth it. Overall speak up the second you talk to a guy, always.

[Asker]

Very true. Thanks!

[DizzyDesii]

Its called getting to know you lmao. he's trying to clarify if he’s a taken man before he goes to flirt with the next girl. he's trying to see if you're on the same page about wanting a family and more. I’d rather be claimed in 2 days then ghosted. You should see it as a blessing 🤷‍♀️ A lot of people dont put in much effort so i really dont see an issue wih what he was doing. Now if he said he loved you then that would be a red flag. But otherwise, just chill out. How can someone earn love if they dont learn who they may be loving in the future

[Crazybeeguy]

The point is it's eay too fast and for her it's overwhelming, that's her frustration.

[DizzyDesii]

@Crazybeeguy yea and the point is, people ask those simple questions in a 21 questions game so i dont see the issue. The only issue if any was him asking if he's in a relationship. I don't know what made him ask that but at least he's asking because he could be about to go and talk to another girl. And if she doesn't want him then let the guy go to someine who does

[Crazybeeguy]

Wait, so you're ok with a guy giving you 2mins of his time on important stuff? I have been the guy with multiple prospects, I know hard to believe right? This is not a sales call to make a decision right away. She is blessed when a guy wants to marry her right out of the gate, but you know 1. Alyssa is a sensitive women. 2. Women like to feel the vibe not a used car dealership. When I talk to a women I let her know my intentions early on, with what I am looking for. She has to know me a little first to see if she likes me, then when I say hey I am looking to have a family its not overwhelming. There's a proper way of communicating that few people do. You can't apply the hookup culture to marriage. Well let me clarify that, you can apply it when both parties are in a forum that is specifically is both their intentions right away.

[DizzyDesii]

@Crazybeeguy I don't know where hookup culture came in. And thanks for telling me what women want as if im not a woman as well. We dont all want the same things. I dont support hookup culture and never will. I was saying that i felt he was asking what she wants in life as a means to get to know her so that he wasn't wasting his time just like she's not looking to waste her time. Dassit

[TonyMetal___86]

Don't blame them cause they just can't believe that princess rapunzel is real, your a magical person 😂

You have to be honest with guy whom your dating and tell him that things take time with you to achieve a level where you can say that your in love and in a serious relationship and things just doesn't happen in a day and night...

Why rushing things out, if the guy is honest and faithfull to you and really wants to be in a relationship that leads to marriage than he have to be patient...

I think that the majority of guys that your dating treats you like that miss alyssa rapunzel because they just want to have fun and sex and that's all...

I hope that you find the man who suits you and claims the sweet innocent princess rapunzel, he will be lucky 😊

[Asker]

Thank you! :)

[TonyMetal___86]

Your welcome 😌

[Crazybeeguy]

I had to give this some serious thought... I have a female friend who is sensitive and has depression she fights too. She is muslim living in Indonesia that is starting the hook up culture. Even though she's dated a couple of guys, she reluctant to date another guy. I think is she feels the pain more than other people. Does this sound like you? If so a guy will have to be more patient with you. Men of your age are about instant gratification. Some are patient, but hot and patient that is rare. Especially of they are taken. Good luck

[ohshee]

Lmao because your hot yourself your beautiful. , but if it took him 2 days to figure it out ,, I would have had it figured out the first five minutes I seen you LOL. But that's how long it took him to try try to come up with some kind of plan did you imagine letting him pick a place to go have dinner what color pants to wear oh well at least it was only 2 days it could have been three

[Asker]

Lol thank you

[ohshee]

Don't take me you're the hot one that's all on you I couldn't say it if I didn't see it or feel it coming from you

[Asker]

lol awww

[humpbackjack]

For me before I got married most people would of called me a player because I had a lot of girls I was messing with but in my defense I didn’t hustle them into sex I was straight up and they knew they weren’t the only one. Then one day I met my wife and right then I knew I loved her before words were ever spoken she had my heart and I’ve never been a sappy guy. It took a minute to stop messing with the other girls but I did and we married and that was about thirty years ago. It’s not great now but we’re still together

[yucel_eden]

Why can’t you explain this to the guy and see what he says?


Communication is key when Dating.


Everyone is different and you cannot find what your looking for, it’s impossible. Your expectations are wrong.


Give him a chance by talking to him, you cut people out too quickly at the first annoying behaviour

[Asker]

Alright I’m gonna do it. I’ll tell him exactly this. Fingers crossed.

[pervertedjester]

Blame the last woman. If he's asking upfront like that it's either the science below or the last girl made it an issue.

Which is why men are so angry all the time.

[Asker]

I really believe that image... men fall in love faster than woman do. But they don't fall in love with just anyone.

[RealMarek]

A lot of people move fast in dating and a lot of women get frustrated by men who are insufficiently bold. He might be worried that some other guy will make a move first and then he will be too late. Of course, he might just be weird. Hard to tell at this point.

I think it would be good for you to explain what your approach to dating is. He should take it down a notch after that. If not, then you will know to avoid him.

[JustinTimberlegs]

Let them know they're moving too fast and you dont feel the same way! Sometimes they think it's what the other person wants to hear because it is what they want for themselves, or because they want to emotionally manipulate the person.

Hope you find the right one for you! Good luck.

[MzAsh]

So many guys fall into some extreme. Either they want to be forever bachelors and never make a commitment or they are clingers who want to take full ownership of you right after they get your phone number. It’s best to stay away from guys who fall to either extreme. Find a middle ground guy.

[Jake99999]

You have not done anything wrong. The guy is just a nut job. A very needy, creepy guy. Of course all men are NOT like that. But this guy sounds very creepy. His behavior is NOT what all guys want. You are totally correct in this being way too fast. Idiotically fast. Most guys would agree he is moving way too fast. He sounds like a mental patient. Just cut him off completely and move on. I get the creeps just reading about it.

[Dragonpurple]

Weird, heck I remember asking a girl after awhile what we were and she said, we don't need to define the relationship.

That guy is just pushy I guess, maybe he is sleeping with someone else but he wants to know what you are before he cuts that off, who knows.

[Andres77]

Don't date!!!
That's the key.

Go about your life doing the positive things you enjoy and in the course of your life you'll make friends with whom you will Garner trust as you develop the friendship.
One who is of like mind and you may be drawn together. See how far that goes.
I was divorced twice by the time I was 24.
Married now for 18.
You have time.
They gotta earn you.
They need time to do it.

[Jamie05rhs]

What do you want him to do? Lie and act like he doesn't like you?
You're a very attractive catch. You really expect men to not jump at the opportunity to marry you?

[Asker]

Maybe just take things slow and see what happens? No one can possibly set their mind to committing to someone and wanting them to have their babies after one date!

[Jamie05rhs]

@Alyssa11 I know, I know... :)
But you have to understand something from a guy's perspective. There are PLENTY of terrible, trashy, nasty women out there. So when we find a good one, it's like a needle in a haystack. We're drawn to them immediately. They're like a gold nugget in the middle of a landfill.

[Asker]

I see!

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for understanding. :).

[Iron_Man]

I really don’t think you’re ready for dating yet there’s no reason to date just to date. Spend time with your family and enjoy them

[Asker]

How will I get a boyfriend then lol. I'm literally 24 in a few months. I can't stay single forever :(

[Iron_Man]

Age is not really a factor here you’re very young yet you can always have a child in your 30s. I just don’t feel that you’re ready to date from the questions that you write out about yourself just trying to give an honest opinion

[Iron_Man]

But of course I’m not saying to wait till you’re 30 to have a boyfriend LOL

[Asker]

Yeah I also don't want to rush into anything.. whatever happens will happen I guess.

[Iron_Man]

Yes be cautious just take your time relax I don’t want to see you get hurt

[Asker]

Thank you! :)

[Iron_Man]

You’re very welcome HUN

[Azura_88]

He wants SEX!!
You can't fall in love without knowing someone inside and out.
Being in love is loving all of them, not just their good looks, body, smartness or their sense of humor.

[SilverRain92]

Not all men are like that. If he claims you so fast just talk to him less and show him that there is a distance between both of you

[Crazybeeguy]

That will make him want her more.

[Asker]

@Crazybeeguy Exactly. Been there, done that, it's not fun...

[SilverRain92]

Then she should say clearly that she id not interested

[MrMilti]

He just wants to know the facts, before falling in love with you.

Because it is much harder, to fall out of love again, when you realize you dont have the same ideals.