Should we Put our Partners on a Pedestal?

Question

Lliam · Accepted Answer

To an extent. Our partner is someone we should admire. I admire my wife and let her know that she's pretty amazing. She also drives me nuts at times.

I've said this before, but I love it when she slips her hand into mine or grips my arm as we walk. I like knowing that she is proud to be with me and that I make her feel safe and secure. I like being able to open jars, get things off of high shelves, lift heavy things, repair things and build things. I love the look of admiration in her eyes.
But I can also be an dumb as or an ass hole at times.

On our first date, we got locked in the parking lot of the restaurant while we were standing near her car chatting. I hopped over the 6' cinder block wall and got someone from the restaurant to let us out. I didn't think anything of it. But the way she told it to her friends later made me sound like Superman. I was her hero. It made me feel good.

Another time, early in our relationship, we were riding in the back seat of the car while a couple she knew were driving us around. Her friend said something and my (future) wife blurted "Oh, _____(me) can do anything" with total conviction. The lady's head jerked around to look at my wife, I smiled, and then her friends looked at each other as if to say "Yep, she's in love." LOL

Stuff like that is really flattering. It makes me love her all the more.

I compliment her in front of friends, too. I think she is amazing.

I love treating her like a lady, walking on the street side of the sidewalk, opening doors, letting her go first and things like that, just to show her that I value her.

I think it's unhealthy to see your partner as perfect or to treat them as your superior, but a person should make their partner feel admired, appreciated and special as long as those feelings are genuine. Showing someone how much we love them isn't quite the same as putting them on a pedestal, but it's close.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Hello no. You create egotistical monsters when you do that. Always be realistic. Idealism only leads to failure on one side, and disappointment on the other.

YollyM · Accepted Answer

Yes but only if they return the favour

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I bought a coffee cup for my live-in girlfriend; it simply say, in very regal gold lettering "QUEEN." I bought a matching cup for myself that says KING. That is what we use for our coffee every morning. It is a reminder that we should each treat our partner like a king or queen and those obligations and expectations are mutual.

Jake99999 · Answer

Nah. Not on a pedestal. Well, it kinda depends on what "put on a pedestal" means to you.

If it means you are almost smothering them with admiration and can sometimes mean you are accepting anything they do. Its not an authentic relationship. Also, sometimes when you put someone on a pedestal, you are setting very high standards for them, expecting an ideal that is not attainable in real life, and that is not healthy.

Every healthy relationship should be a loving partnership with authenticity and intimacy and trust. Seeing each other for you you really are, and accepting the reality - and still loving an imperfect person (we are all imperfect) and being okay with that. I don't think putting someone on a pedestal is taking you towards those things.

Andres77 · Answer

Relationships are not 50/50, they're 100/100.
I'll agree that there's an unhealthy level of attention but, maybe it's my understanding of this phrase, "putting her on a pedestal" to me is showing great respect and honor. She's human, she'll make mistakes, she'll hurt me and vice versa. Our intention when we fall short is the biggest indicator that needs to be considered.

I adore my wife. I'm so fortunate to have been found by her. I do put her on a pedestal. I'll simply call it love.

pleasestopthis · Answer

No, I think this is one of the worst things people can do in their relationships because no partner is perfect, everyone has bad things, and when they suddenly become aware of this, they feel terrible knowing "my perfect partner is not perfect" while the right mindset is to embrace and love your partner with virtues and defects

EaterPeter · Answer

Honestly I don't know what's the meaning of putting on pedestal. As far I know it's a bad thing to do. Though how the one can encourage their partner to do what's good for them if they are not taking care of their health or not getting ready and take for ever to leave the house.

ohshee · Answer

I look at it like this if she's my partner that I like her and she's my partner I'm going to put her someplace so it should be on a pedestal because if you don't and eventually she just going to get on your back LOL

sage2021 · Answer

I hate it when a guy puts me on a pedestal when we hardly know each other. It makes me terribly uncomfortable and I ask him to stop it! My guy and I praise each other which is different than putting each other on a pedestal.

Hans222 · Answer

To some degree yes as otherwise the person wouldn't be your partner.
I wouldn't exaggerate though... I wouldn't physically put her on a pedestal. Only figuratively: consider her the most precious thing in the world 🌞😀

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Nope, we all have positives and negatives. Putting anyone on a pedestal will highlight those positives but also the negatives and any weakness’s. it’s not good for the partner or yourself

pjf1958 · Answer

No, never do that. If you do that, you can't enjoy each other as equals. Never put them on a pedestal. But, always, always, cherish them.

GoldenAxer · Answer

Not if we want to retain their interest as I see it. Even a rock star probably gets tired of fans and is probably wanting to find someone who can speak to them and treat them like equals.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Maybe a little bit, but idealizing them can be dangerous

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Nope Paris we shouldn't, but hell, we do anyway because we love em!

Hanrej · Answer

Well, if you want to, yes.
If not, don't.

I feel this is a matter of your own personal preferance. I like to put my partner on a pedestal but even then it's conditional on that person being a match for me in certain ways.

joeldalton · Answer

When you treat a woman like she's a celebrity, she'll treat you like a fan.

msc545 · Answer

Only if pushing them off will have the desired effect.

RawIronhide · Answer

I like to think of it as a hierarchy. You and your partner should be on the same level. The relationship as an ideal should be valued above both participants. It sounds weird but it's like marriage. who Is more important in a marriage, not either party but rather the marriage itself, you both negotiate and sacrifice for the good of the Union.

menina · Answer

No way! They are human beings they have flaws and they make mistakes. Besides what happens when they break up? Someone is going to say "you're nothing without me". Is that worth it? No, I don't think so.
There must be mutual respect but no pedestals.

goaded · Answer

Probably not, but it's human nature for a lot of people.

CasuallySamsonite · Answer

In the words of the great Steve Martin, " I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal, high enough so you can look up her dress."

CasaNorba · Answer

yea go ahead, just dont be surprised if they start looking down on you from that pedestal

DonkeyDan · Answer

No Paris, they always fall off when I put them on a pedestal, I prefer to do them in a chair!

krin_m · Answer

Half and half sounds like a good middle ground to me! Although I don't mind if my partners put me on pedestal all the time! 😀

clampfan101 · Answer

Not quite… lol We should certainly cherish our partners to a great extent, but partners should always give each other equal love and respect.

InferiorElegy · Answer

I don't have one but I can honestly say we shouldn't put anyone on a pedestal.

Anonymous · Answer

the pussy on the pedestal question.. to answer this question simply watch the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin

ElizaPam · Answer

That’s the guys job lol

blondfrog · Answer

Wouldn't that eventually make them want to leave or take advantage of the situation and start manuplating you?

humpbackjack · Answer

If you do you run a risk of them taking you for granted

DizzyDesii · Answer

I used to. But now, dude would have to be at least my fiance for me to just seriously bow down

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

I never understood this expression, not sure whar nor how to answer 😂

JosyJosy · Answer

NO. No way. It's not cause I love him that he can go do whatever now.

Drzen · Answer

No she will take you for granted and loss attraction maybe worse she might think it's sign of weakness

Weater67 · Answer

Only if you don’t care that they will fall on you or step on you when they jump off the pedestal to go chase another partner

Anonymous · Answer

This is how. narcissism strarts, and mental illness. Delusional thoughts.. It turns what could be healthy relationship into co depedency. We are all sinners, this is a fallen world. The only. person worthy of praise is the Lord...

scooogy · Answer

Yeah, and make them stay there 🤣

Clarke498 · Answer

Yes. You have one. And then she should put you up on one too.

CubaPirate · Answer

Before or after cremation 🤣🤣🤣

nice-girl · Answer

In same ways

Itsathsuperthik1 · Answer

I would you on a pedestal maybe not the type ur thinking of

karaspara · Answer

Nah lol

Likes2drive · Answer

Half and half

Fuentes · Answer

Nah no way unless they treat you back the same way

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Absolutely not.

kojikurac · Answer

Never

Joker_ · Answer

Yeah

OddBeMe · Answer

How so Paris!

chrator · Answer

Blahh

Slim57 · Answer

To an exstent yes

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