Met the man of my dreams and also met his beautiful wife. Isn’t it ironic?

Question

They’re all you always wanted but they’re with someone else. What do you do? I’m waking up from this nightmare and walking away from this daydream.

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

One reason I keep entertaining the chance (however slim) of meeting you: because I was given no real choice but to walk away from the woman I wanted otherwise.

I met her. That dream girl.

But she had one fatal flaw: an inability to stand up for herself. Sure, she would've had to do so against all of Communist China, and her own family. And the US government.

Just to stay with me and find a way to be with me.

Sure, it seemed pretty hopeless from every angle. But she capitulated with barely even a struggle.

Now, she has someone else's adorable baby girl to look after. She even lost her job because of that. The worst part: she was too afraid of the repercussions to even tell me herself. She left it to the gal that was replacing her at work to tell me the bad news about what happened to her.

I forgave her in full, given the circumstances. But I also accepted that there's no going back. I'd only be putting her in danger by trying, to say nothing of endangering myself, or her daughter. And for what? It wouldn't be fair to the new guy.

I don't yet know if you're worth everything I'd have to brave, just to arrange to meet up. It'd be an expensive trip, and I'd have only your support at best, no one else's. And after the Artur Polawski incident, I don't trust the authorities in Ontario as far as they can be launched from a cannon. So for the time being, I'll just have to admire you from afar, Pinay.

Modern politics worldwide have gotten the ugliest ever. And as a consequence, trying to meet someone worth loving has never been more dangerous. Yet, I admire every diamond I can find, in a world where most girls comprise the rough - and where their governments are as toxic as a barrel of nuclear waste.

Even so, I hold on to that trinket she bought me from a street vendor back in 2018. She went to some lengths to ensure I got it, knowing it would possibly one day be all I had left of her. I got her a fox decoration, not realizing at the time that foxes were a really bad symbol in Chinese culture. She told me not to worry about it though.

Given how quickly she tore me up by going to the other guy, perhaps she was a vixen, without meaning to be. But she was MY vixen. And it was Pooh that intimidated her into it. So I reserve for his regime the wrath that most shallow men would've visited on her. I don't have a single nice thing to say about the CCP. Those bastards have ruined too many lives, for stupid non-reasons. And I can't ignore it anymore. They made it personal when they took her from me.

I have nowhere else to run to anymore either. It's either try to find you, a Florida woman who isn't completely insane, or stay alone forever. Of my past loves that aren't dead yet, most of them are basically zombies already, as of last year. So... I have almost nothing. The challenge, is to not let my pain and bitterness consume me, over everyone I loved, that I couldn't protect. It's emasculating to know it; but I have little choice.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

In 1979, I met the right girl for me, but it was the wrong time for her and she wanted someone else. Time proved that the other person was not right for her but that didn't matter; in 1979, the one she wanted was not me.

I found her again in 2003, living 1,000 miles away, waiting for her divorce to become final after a separation of three years. It was the right time for both of us - at last - but she had changed and she was no longer the right person for me.

Sometimes, people are like two ships passing in the night.

JustAnj · Accepted Answer

As a wife myself, I don't appreciate this. Not because you feel something but because you don't see how your thoughts contribute to thinking that it's okay to even still think of a man who is married.

I feel bad for women like you because you rely to much on your emotions over your common sense, a man who is married even if he got a divorce for some reason will not be ready to just move on and be with a woman. He will still love his wife and while he is with another rebound on her or not take the relationship far as he wishes.

People need time to heal, but this isn't the case, he is married, so stop thinking and move on.

My husband would constantly get female attention from women who acted like you. I told him that if he was interested I could walk away and let him live his life. He told me never, we even had problems to deal with. Later the girl kept persisting to show her feelings without telling my husband. She would try to get a reaction out of him like he was supposed to be somehow upset she was with another. I felt bad that she couldn't just move on, my husband made it pretty clear he was taken.

Don't be this girl, your emotions are their and much easier for married men to read, he probably knows you like him. Girl probably didn't know I knew. Point is you need to stop these emotions and move on by telling yourself he is not the one he just SEEMED perfect. Which he obviously is not.

I hope you can find happiness and I think if your ever start connecting with a guy, do what I did, ask him if his girlfriend and him enjoy blah blah blah. That will help you know his status before you dig yourself deeper in a hole.

Good luck love. ❤️

PinkMichae · Accepted Answer

Let me tell you a dating experience of mine. I agreed to go on a date at this guy's church because he was playing in the band. I'm open to experiences and try not to judge until I experience it.

So I showed up and him and I talked a bit until service started. He sat me in the front. The pastor was talking about normal church stuff and the people would say amen after everything he said. Next thing I know they are surrounding me asking if I accept the lord Jesus in my heart. One person had a snake even. I did not know what to do so I just went along with it. Apparently they started speaking in tongues it's called.

As soon as it was over I went straight to my car to leave and not turn back. But the guy came out and asked me to please meet him at Chuck e cheese. I thought what could go wrong there. So I decided to go. I walked inside and saw him at a table with kids and a woman. He introduced me to the woman and said this is my wife.

I didn't even say hi as I turned around and went to my car. He ran after me and I asked why if he's married he said this was a date. He said so he could get me to his church.

I guess I should be thankful they didn't sacrifice me.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

If he was the "man of your dreams," then he wouldn't be with another woman. You're just assuming he's the one.

With that being said, it sucks (been there, done that), I leave him alone. I'm not a homewrecker, nor am I going to fantasize over a guy I'll never have. The right guy will be single and available when you're lucky enough to stumble upon him.

readyplayer001 · Answer

OOOOOOOOOO girl in the middle of it as i told him married is married. he is a Dr. at the office I visit with patients, it was instant chemistry from the second we looked at each other, we both feel like we have known each other forever. its so comfortable, but in the end I told him you will never be mine. He was arranged years ago and not happy, no affection or anything else in the relationship. But you choose to stay so I will not partake in the relationship as anything more then friends. He said I won't let you go, I said well we can be friends, there is nothing more I can offer you

sage2021 · Answer

Sorry that happened to you. A dream guy is almost impossible to find anymore. I guess the old saying applies "All the good ones are taken." I am glad you are walking away. I have had that happen to me before. The man wanted sex from me and he was married. I said "No, I want what your wife has - the beautiful house, credit card, brand new car, etc. and all I will get is you? No thanks."

Seinna · Answer

No, I never find taken people attractive. Even if I did and I find out they have a partner, anything I might have felt turns cold.

I think it's because I'm a strict monogamist and any possibility of them ending things with their spouse on my account or cheating on them would make them very undesirable to me.

tatianamay · Answer

No offense, but do you even know the guy? Was it like a love at first sight, I-don't-even- know -your- last- name-but- you -are- the -one, thingy? Wish him the best and move on, girlll. He ain't your Prince Charming. It's not ironic at all. It just sounds like a sappy Hallmark movie I'd never watch tbh. Sorry for the rude words, but I think its time for you to wake up and face reality.

ChristopheLainey513 · Answer

That isn't really an example of irony I don't think.
That's more just an unfortunate occurrence. There isn't really the unusual contradiction that would make it irony.
Now let's say Alanis Morrisette gave up on dating men because she can't find a good one. She
then starts a relationship with that woman from the song. She destroys their marriage, then later on they break up and Alanis figures out that the man who's family she destroyed, is actually the man of her dreams. Only now she can never have him because he hates her guts, that would be kind of ironic. Her quest to find love actually destroyed her chances to be with the only man she loves.

J2ohhhhh · Answer

Just think about other women who meet the men of their dreams they got together and he turns out to be a psychopath. If you met him and didn't know that he's married, that's a good sign that you're attracted to men who make good husbands and it is just matter of time when you get lucky and meet one who's got the same qualities, but single. The only catch if you personally cannot see potential in men and only attracted to them once you see that they maintain a happy marriage with someone else. I mean it can be overcome and learn what to look out for. Cold read potential in people is a skill, not an intuition so it can be learned, just matter of humbleness and determination.

Interstate · Answer

What do you do? You wish their Marriage the best, and you move on with life! And just keep reminding yourself there is another just like them out there for you somewhere. My Mom always says that God's timing is not OUR timing. So you'll just have to be patient and wait for your prince to come!

bobalife · Answer

If he’s taken, be respectful and walk away. There are many amazing men who are taken and it’s obvious why lol. It’s disappointing, but it also means someone else is meant for you. Chin up and move on to the guy who is waiting for you.

ohshee · Answer

Wow some Girls just have all the luck , ,, and some girls are just got it all together and he's smart and he's very wise am I doing the right thing and just walking away I think that's pretty cool of you it tells me you have a very beautiful heart and you're very good person

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Accept the fact you can't have it all. Facts dont care about your feelings, accept it and open the door to sanity. Its not ironic at all. Just delusional, i hope you're aware that there's other men alive and well. They're just not perfect, and nobody is. Something tells me youve been struggling with accepting that for a long time

Passion_Devil · Answer

No. The man of my dreams would be single, so in this case not quite "All" I wanted him to be. What do I do. I move on. As soon as I find out he's unavailable attraction goes to zero. No time to lose. We've got to move... on.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Dealing with that right now. This girl i liked moved away for many years due to a family emergency. She came back and finds im married. She tries so hard to be friends with my wife and I try hard to treat her as my friend, but it doesn't work. Women and men aren't made that way

Yanifah · Answer

Call Alanis for her advice. P. S. None of the song is ironic. It's unfortunate, but lacks irony. Misuse of the term.

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

I don’t put focus on men in relationships or marriages 🤷🏻‍♀️ I wouldn’t want it done to me, so why would I do it to someone else?

Flower7 · Answer

Yeah, that really sucks. There’s not much you can do about that other than start looking for another guy who looks like him!

ChiTown33 · Answer

What are you 12? Did you write this in your hello kitty diary?
I can't imagine falling in love with someone that quickly. Based on what? Your post (besides ripping off Alanis Morisette lyrics) makes it sound like you haven't even talked to this dude. Lol

Smashingdoozy · Answer

It's like rain on your wedding day. It's a free ride when you've already paid. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sarahr123 · Answer

Well at least the dream shattered earlier rather than later and before any promises were made.

SnakeBoop · Answer

well not the man of your dreams if he's not single I'm guessing XD

Commander_Red · Answer

Honestly, if he's taken, he's not the man of your dreams. You'll meet someone else like him but available.

lizchill · Answer

Well it stinks but you gotta let him go. He's a married man. Don't be the one who ruins another's happiness.

InventorofWarp · Answer

I know the male side of this. It sucks but not much you can do besides try and smile more and admire from afar and keep making excuses why you're forever single.

SlightlyEccentric · Answer

If he is the man of your dreams like you think he is, you'd do well not to ruin what he has now. If it isn't meant to be, it will dissolve on its own, then, if he is up for it, will consider dating you.

Adam1978 · Answer

Of course he is, your not the only one that can see a good catch, so most good people are taken. So you must catch them young because they don't discard people left and right.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

The highest quality men are mostly taken by high quality women who didn't waste their best years riding the cock carousel and going through a "how" phase.

Why is this simple fucking concept so difficult for females to understand.

anylolone · Answer

A little too ironic, don't you think?

IT'S LIKE RAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN ON YOUR WEDING DAY,
IT'S A FREE RIIIIIIIIIIIIDE THAT YOU ALREADY PAID,
IT'S A GOOD ADVISEEEEEEEE THAT YOU JUST CAN'T TAKE,
BUT WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OR FIGURED?

LisaRaven · Answer

Seems to be working that way for me too. They are not always married but clearly so enchanted with another girl all that is left is to walk away.

Alyssa11 · Answer

So I read the title to your question and that in itself is an oxymoron. Sis he can’t be your dream man if he has a wife.

nella965 · Answer

the man of your dreams may not see you as the woman of his dreams. if he did, he would've dumped his wife for you

Still-alive · Answer

The story of my life has been that i always fell for women taken already. So i was usually in a situation where my feelings were unrequited. Also possibly adding to my insecurity wondering if a girl could ever truly be into me.

slatyb · Answer

You find the guy of your dreams that isn't married.

K-I-S-S · Answer

That is what you get when you wait too long to pick a good man.  Most of the good ones got taken while you focused on your career or jumped from one shitty dude to the next😗

Texaskid1 · Answer

Women never change.  They ways want the spoken-for man.

bubbakong2006 · Answer

Well have you let him try you mayby he will like what you have to offer better or join them both for a threesome could be fun you never know

Andres77 · Answer

Sorry... It's a reminder that there are the tight people out there for us if we're patient.

bowenw · Answer

Unless you know for certain they are unhappy and have started divorce proceedings, walk away.

ToastyOats · Answer

That's not what irony is... Your just jealous. Happens to me all the time, move on get over it, quit wasting our time.

ewok737 · Answer

There is a line in Alanis Morissettes song Ironic, that is almost the same as your intro line of this posting.

IncognitoBandito · Answer

No it isn't ironic, it makes perfect sense that if he was your dream guy he would be the same for plenty of others. Alanis Morissette is a dope.

jasco · Answer

lol I am sorry but the title just sounded so depressing like wow he's such a awesome man but fuck me he's married.

Drzen · Answer

Can't be better women likes men who are in relationship and married. Why it's nightmare for you enjoy

Better_off_here · Answer

i guess we have all been there but that is what love does we have no control over our hearts and i guess we just try to move on. but i love that song ironic :)

hellacray · Answer

Lol oh please you have any idea how many women I've met that has boyfriend's?

genericname85 · Answer

well guess what. many women share the same dreams of men :P

pleasestopthis · Answer

What do you do? I won't get in the middle of their relationship, I just accept it and move on

Григорий · Answer

I would like to point out that if he’s married he isn’t the man of your dreams… Unless you’re into that sort of thing.

Somewhatfriendly · Answer

You lucky to even meet someone I can't even be friends with female wondering what it would be like if I tried to be friends with a prostitute.

ManHater · Answer

Should have saved your virginity for this man that you love. Opening your legs to any man your just another slut.

2ndTryatThis · Answer

I’ve been there.. so frustrating especially when they’re unhappy in their relationship but you don’t want to say anything

nawtee_me · Answer

Was he pretending to be something he wasn't? single? Or did you just meet him and he happened to be married?

Made4sex · Answer

Oh no! That is so painful! But good for you for walking away.

Nerdvana · Answer

I think most of us have been there. But we have to let it go and move on.

Clarke498 · Answer

Lol, all the comments here acting like you said you were going to pursue him...

johnnygodeep · Answer

And she’s super sexy…  I’m John-Michael, and you are?

misterCage4 · Answer

Be real with yourself. This is not gonna work. Leave before more trouble comes your way.

Lucy68 · Answer

Been there done that sister so I feel ya.

Rob17792 · Answer

then he's not the man of your dreams if he's married now is he?

ThatNoUVAtYourEyes · Answer

You were raised to be self sabotaging. Get away from your (foster) parents

Fuentes · Answer

Their is always another i'd never date a married person

Met the man of my dreams and also met his beautiful wife. Isn’t it ironic?

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