Should I wait a few days and then message her “hey just wanted to say, I didn’t intend for that last conversation to go like that”
Background: We’ve been going out for 2 months She drives 2 hours to stay at my place every weekend She’s in college and is super busy with her major
Context: She hasn’t been over for 2 weeks, She ghosted me all of last week, She took 24 hours to respond to my Invite and didn’t even offer to reschedule, She ignored my phone call when I wanted to “clear things up”
Send the message
Ghost her
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+1 y
Next week I’m gonna send her “Hey just wanted say, I don’t like how messy I made things between us”
“It’d be cool to keep things going when you can. Just lmk”
I fucked up. Should I tell her this to redeem myself?
If she drove two hours to see you, she probably likes you. I can see her frustration if she wanted better than Taco Bell. Could you have cooked her something? There is no right answer on timing; I would message as soon as possible to clear the air and give her time to respond. I would try to reflect and think what she may be thinking and feeling in her circumstances before sending the next message.
She says she does not have the time or the money to drive to visit you all of the time. Offer to pay her gas money, or offer to alternate weekends, where you drive to you - presuming she has a place you can stay.
I don't see why you should wait if you do want to fix it.. I'd try to schedule a phone call.. though maybe you should think about some things before.. I question why she only comes to you, what about you visiting her? Also, since it is long distance I think it is in general better to talk about the important things on the phone.. that you put the negative text: 'we are not doing this'.. sounds like you assumed she was backing out of your relation. Maybe it is true, but better to have a conversation like that in real time, so you do not blame or get blamed for things you cannot clear up straight ahead.
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Asker
+1 y
I tried getting her on the phone later that day when I said “I wanna clear things up tonight” but she never answered or returned the call. That’s why I decided to say my last message. I’m letting her know that I’m walking away if she can’t even communicate with me.
She feels like she’s been doing more in the relationship than she has. Especially since she’s already stressed from school. It is a bit inconsiderate to have her do all the driving and she also has to pay for the gas herself.
Next week I’ll send her “Hey just wanted say, I don’t like how messy I made things between us” “It’d be cool to keep things going. Just lmk” to see if that helps
Okay, you've got nothing to lose. Don't get all nervous if she doesn't reply. You fucked up. But either way, I think talking face to face is much better
I am in this exact situation right now. I really want this guy to stop ghosting me and put effort in like I have. I would suggest no contact so if she texts back you know her feelings are true.
I would just be honest and humble. It's always worked for me. And I agree it would be better for her to hear yourvoice
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1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I’m just gonna text her next week incase she decided to ignore my call again. I’ll say “Hey just wanted to say, I don’t like how messy I made things between us”
