I fucked up. Should I tell her this to redeem myself?

[Anonymous]

Should I wait a few days and then message her “hey just wanted to say, I didn’t intend for that last conversation to go like that”

Background:
We’ve been going out for 2 months
She drives 2 hours to stay at my place every weekend
She’s in college and is super busy with her major

Context:
She hasn’t been over for 2 weeks,
She ghosted me all of last week,
She took 24 hours to respond to my
Invite and didn’t even offer to reschedule,
She ignored my phone call when I wanted to “clear things up”

Send the message

Ghost her

Updates

+1 y

Next week I’m gonna send her “Hey just wanted say, I don’t like how messy I made things between us”

“It’d be cool to keep things going when you can. Just lmk”

[SunnyFlorida]

If she drove two hours to see you, she probably likes you. I can see her frustration if she wanted better than Taco Bell. Could you have cooked her something? There is no right answer on timing; I would message as soon as possible to clear the air and give her time to respond. I would try to reflect and think what she may be thinking and feeling in her circumstances before sending the next message.

She says she does not have the time or the money to drive to visit you all of the time. Offer to pay her gas money, or offer to alternate weekends, where you drive to you - presuming she has a place you can stay.

[PatrickFusion]

I think it's over. I'm sorry, but it seems like she's busy and looking for a way out of your relationship.

[Asker]

It’s over until she thinks she’s lost me. I wanna see if no contact turns things around

[Asker]

She’s gonna miss me. Every time she’s come to my place, it’s nothing but absolute fun

[Anonymous]

I don't see why you should wait if you do want to fix it.. I'd try to schedule a phone call.. though maybe you should think about some things before..
I question why she only comes to you, what about you visiting her?
Also, since it is long distance I think it is in general better to talk about the important things on the phone.. that you put the negative text: 'we are not doing this'.. sounds like you assumed she was backing out of your relation. Maybe it is true, but better to have a conversation like that in real time, so you do not blame or get blamed for things you cannot clear up straight ahead.

[Asker]

I tried getting her on the phone later that day when I said “I wanna clear things up tonight” but she never answered or returned the call. That’s why I decided to say my last message. I’m letting her know that I’m walking away if she can’t even communicate with me.

[Asker]

She’s also never invited me to her place. I don’t wanna invite myself

[Opinion Owner]

I would give it a last shot at getting a phone call scheduled, and else yeah, let it go.

You could also just have visited her city, can sure invite her out to a public space :)

[Flower7]

She feels like she’s been doing more in the relationship than she has. Especially since she’s already stressed from school. It is a bit inconsiderate to have her do all the driving and she also has to pay for the gas herself.

[Flower7]

than you have*

[Dragonstarterplus]

Sorry man but like I told you last time: she gone mane.

You came off too passive aggressive and basically ended things yourself

[Asker]

So does that mean I should reach out soon?

[Asker]

Maybe something like “hey, I don’t like how things went down between us” next week

[Dragonstarterplus]

Sure you've got nothing to lose really, but you might want to try actually sort of apologizing instead of just saying "I don't like how things went."

[Asker]

I’ll word it like an apology, but I’m not actually gonna apologize. I meant what I said to her. My bullshit detector was going off

[Dragonstarterplus]

Well you've already tried that twice to no avail

[tatianamay]

You lost her with your impulsiveness. I would not come back if I were her

[Asker]

Yeah well my bullshit detector was going off because of all the ghosting

[Asker]

Next week I’ll send her “Hey just wanted say, I don’t like how messy I made things between us” “It’d be cool to keep things going. Just lmk” to see if that helps

[tatianamay]

She had multiple tests and she told you. She was not ghosting you

[Asker]

I know. I wanna try to make things up next week

[tatianamay]

Okay, you've got nothing to lose. Don't get all nervous if she doesn't reply. You fucked up. But either way, I think talking face to face is much better

[tatianamay]

Send her that message, dude

[Asker]

Yeah I do wanna talk face to face. I tried over the phone but she ignored it

[tatianamay]

Why wouldn't she? Apologize to her and this time, mean it

[Birdlegs]

Man if she was driving 2 hours to see you every weekend she clearly likes you try to make it right

[Adog345]

I am in this exact situation right now. I really want this guy to stop ghosting me and put effort in like I have. I would suggest no contact so if she texts back you know her feelings are true.

[Asker]

I hope it works out for both of us

[Asker]

I know she has feelings. She drives 2 hours to see me every weekend until recently because of school

[dudeinohio]

I'd stop communicating with her... she's not interested

[Asker]

But what if I misread her? She drives 2 hours to stay with me, you can’t say she has no interest

[dudeinohio]

But she said she can't afford to do this anymore... sounds like she's finished

[Asker]

She said she can’t afford it all the time, not anymore

[dudeinohio]

hmmm

[Browneye57]

Urine. As in URINE IDIOT.
No, it's over. Time to find a new victim. This one wised up.

[KrakenAttackin]

She is banging some other guy. They will split in a week or two and she will text you.

[Asker]

I’m banging another girl. Why do you think I didn’t beg her to stay?

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker. Fair enough.

[Scarlet_G]

I would just be honest and humble. It's always worked for me. And I agree it would be better for her to hear yourvoice

[Asker]

I’m just gonna text her next week incase she decided to ignore my call again. I’ll say “Hey just wanted to say, I don’t like how messy I made things between us”

[UrvashiKamini]

If she goes away, you can remind her

[pink_and_inlove]

I think that you should just forget about her

[Asker]

Why not try to resolve things since I’m the one who fucked up

[pink_and_inlove]

Didn’t you say that you were banging somebody else?

[Asker]

Yeah but we’re not in a relationship yet. I would 110% leave my friends with benefits for the girl in the post

[pink_and_inlove]

That’s not right unless you’re in an open relationship with her then that is cheating

[pink_and_inlove]

If you love someone how could you sleep with someone else?

[pink_and_inlove]

You don’t truly love her

[Asker]

You’re right I don’t love her. We’ve been going out for 2 months lol

[SecretsofKB]

From Iowa?

[Asker]

Yes ma’am

[Jmmmfi4]

Talk to her

[Asker]

I will. I’m gonna send her “Hey just wanna say, I don’t like how messy I made things between us” next week

[Anonymous]

stop lol

[Asker]

Why though? I’m the one who fucked up. Why not try to redeem myself? There’s literally nothing to lose

[Opinion Owner]

dude in general stop most women are prostitutes
and going to the fires of hell and outer darkness

WASTE OF TIME STOP

[Asker]

C’mon man… that sounds so lame

[Opinion Owner]

its reality