How can I stop having such a Soft & Sensitive personality? I hate myself & it's ruined dating for me?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys, I cry almost every night after being ghosted/screwed over by my last guy. I am a very soft/sensitive person, I'm relatively quiet & I try to be sweet to everyone, but I hate myself so much, I feel like I get screwed over by everyone & everyone hates me. Maybe I just feel things more than other people.

I wish I was bold & that's why my last relationships ended; I was unable to communicate & bring up issues bc I got so overwhelmed & my boyfriend was a bit hard to talk to/distant. I did try to bring stuff up but it was always in a timid/beat-around-bush nice way.

People are so cruel to me and I can't take it anymore. I was ghosted by a friend group & another bc I was too quiet/anxious & it hurts so bad.

I feel like the only way you can be successful in dating/life is if you know exactly what you're doing. I am so embarrassed how timid I was, but I started shutting down from trauma/didn't know what to do. I feel like no one likes me for me bc I am so soft.

I have had so much trauma now from all of this year, I will never come out of my shell again. Until i can heal/be free again.

I just want someone to appreciate me for how kind or soft I am, I am not a loud person it's just my personality. I feel like I need someone who 100% relates to me on an emotional level, but I just can't find anyone. I've just dated douches & it's taught me emotions are bad. I am afraid of the world now & just can't find anyone to connect/"see" me. But... I think I am making this emotional fantasy in my head tho!!! How do I toughen up & change my personality? Tired of getting stepped on

[Dyspraxic]

I can somewhat relate with this, personally it’s about recovery and acceptance, all these things that happen to you are possibilities for you to grow, whether you let them consume you and break you down, or whether you fight them off and accept what has happened. Your not going to forget for a while that’s just a fact and it’s gonna be gutting. eventually tho something will make you click and you’ll realise you don’t have to feel this way all the time. As for toughening up and changing your personality don’t, the only thing you would need to change is learning how to better communicate, don’t dare think you’d need to change yourself for the sake of others. I know It’s hard to think and believe in this state that there’s someone out there for you, especially if you think you need someone similar to yourself, but there is there’s 7 billion people on this earth it’s ludicrous to think not one of them is what your looking for. Yeah finding the ones hard but it wouldn’t be so satisfying if it wasn’t.

[JustinTimberlegs]

Your personality is hard to find nowadays, I hope you find someone who will see that value and protect it.

[JustinTimberlegs]

Thanks for the MHO ☺️

[Asker]

Thank you. This comment was very dear💛. I hope you have a great week.

[JustinTimberlegs]

You're most welcome ☺️ hope you have a great week too!

[Azura_88]

Wanna be my friend?
I understand where you're coming from.
Only thing with me is I used to hide my emotions/feelings I was also kind until I got used many times. Then I started to distance myself from liars, opportunists and fake people.
Now I'm only good to genuine people. Rest of them I don't bother.

[Asker]

Yes!! I'm in the same boat now. It's hard, but I guess we had to learn these lessons first.
Never stop being yourself/kind I think just be careful :) I think the middle ground is reserving your goodness away from fake people/opportunists like you said. It's hard to judge, but now we know the way the world works and can be keener for it :))) I think that some people just don't appreciate us. Thanks for this answer💗

[ConfusedNdazed78]

1. Maybe forgive them
2. Move on.
3. By healing
4. Get therapy please
5. Maybe see someone who provides medicine cause of your trauma

[talhahoonme]

According to Muslims:
Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women.
I believe you not found the right match till now.🙂

[Asker]

I love this. Thank you so much

Super cool🙏

[talhahoonme]

🙂🙂

[FireFox001]

Honestly, it's damn near impossible to find people like you. I don't like loud, rude and overly outgoing people. Just don't give up. There are guys who appreciate your kind of personality

[FireFox001]

Send a PM if you need a friend. I'm in a tricly situation as well, so if you need someone to talk to, feel free.

[Asker]

Wow, this really made me feel better & made my day. I'd like to think it was just a personality mismatch too.
Thanks!! I hope you have a great week!

[FireFox001]

No, apparently my week has been terrible :D but it's almost at its end.

Most likely it was a personality mismatch. One has to go through a metric fuckton of people, before they find a good person. And even then, you need even more luck and effort in keeping them. Again, if you need a friend, we can talk (and just friend, don't misunderstand :D)

[Asker]

I will! Will send a PM in a bit. Will try to help you out! Thanks!

[FireFox001]

I appreciate it

[FireFox001]

by the way if you cannot send a pm, just send a follow request.