What if YOU had No Choice?

[Paris13]

Would you do LDR if you had No choice for A while or for as Long as it Took? xx

Absolutely, Paris!

Not Me, Paris!

Half and Half, Paris!

Another Reply, Paris!

[Phoenix98]

I woulda. 100% do it for the right girl I gots nooo issues with it.

[Paris13]

Ohhh Nice, @Phoenix98 xx

[Likes2drive]

I can do it for a while as long as you can trust each other

[Paris13]

I HATE THAT WORD, Big Guy. lol!!! xx

[Likes2drive]

How about loyal?

[Paris13]

I believe You are. xx

[AmandaYVR]

For as long as what took?
I would absolutely hate having no choice. Just the thought of it bothers me.
I actually like brainstorming and working with others on projects or making small or big decisions, with others sometimes. (That really, really, depends on the person and their character and personality.) But giving up my autonomy and power of decision to someone else... well it's an extremely rare situation for me to do that with someone. I have to know them, and their judgment, every well. A lot of people don't have your best interests in mind; they have theirs (even if it only tips 60/40 in their favour. It's noticeable.)

Oooops. I just re-read again and see it's all about LDRs!
I did. And it sucked, the logistics, and emotional toll, big time. They're extremely difficult, and I'd never go through that again if the end goal is for one person to move to be together.
However, I get it. Sometimes the lure of that person is just so great, you just have to continue, have to wait, have to put yourself through all the aching and longing.
My advice, in that case, is meet ASAP. Don't prolong, or proceed on not enough information, or false pretenses, or major omissions. It'll just drag out a situation unnecessarily. It costs significant money to travel to meet, but there are other emotional costs by not doing it.
Do I recommend them? No. But some people are worth it.

I just picked 'D.' It's complicated.

And P. S. You can love someone you haven't yet met. It's possible. Crazy as it sounds, it's true. For some. It depends how the communication is. Some people are extremely good, honest, forthright, communicators.

[Paris13]

Beautifully said!!! xx

[OlderAndWiser]

When I met my girlfriend, she lived 90 miles away. I drove to date her for a few months, then she started inviting me to spend the night with her. And she drove to my hometown occasionally, too. Ultimately, she decided to permanently move to my hometown and we are now living together.

If she still lived 90 miles away, I would still drive every weekend to see her.

[Paris13]

Beautiful, dear. xx

[SteveSmith1985]

Well... if there's a reasonable prospect of being in the same place at some point in the nearish future, then go for it. If it's "for as long as it takes" without any pathway to be in the same place... personally, I'm too old to fuck around with that ball of slow-motion-hurt.

I am all for love. Like... to a silly degree I still hold onto this 'happily ever after' idea of love. I love seeing other people in love, but... you do have to be practical at a certain point.

[humanearth]

I not sure what your asking, but I'll take a stab at what I think your asking.

For me if I was ever in LDR. I would say 6 months to yr for someone to make the move to someone.

No one moves by then, I'm breaking it off.

Because I see it this way. If the realationship is serious. It would have happened in that time frame.

If if took longer, I would feel like they are jerking my chain.

See Paris if I was not married and I was single. You bet your sweet ass I would be be knocking at your door in a hot pink bikini.

When I want something bad enough, I make it happen.

[Paris13]

lol!!! Hey, Sexy Guy!!! Maybe One day. lol!!! xx

[electromagnetic]

I’ve never tried it but I think I can. I travel and move around a lot. I definitely want to be with someone who’s just as mobile. That way if I say “hey I’ll be in (place) for a couple months come with?” I wouldn’t feel like a burden or an inconvenience to them. Imagine meeting your partner in a different country every couple weeks.

[Paris13]

That would Be Great and Fun. lol!!! xx

[Prettygurl12]

My husband and I were in a LDR for the majority of our dating relationship. I think they're doable if both parties are committed to the relationship and if there is a definite end date to the LD part.

[Paris13]

It Can Work, Yes. xx

[Gwenhwyfar]

Absolutely, Paris! LDRs can work. A lot of teen LDRs don’t last, but neither do a lot of teen relationships in general.

[Paris13]

I Agree, Lovely!! xx

[belle_kai]

You always have a choice. And no I wouldn't. It depends how long we've been together, how far away we are & for how long this will be, if I ever considered

[Paris13]

Great!! xx

[JosyJosy]

If I catch feelings for the guy, absolutely, Paris! But the idea itself, LDR, yuck. But if I'm in love, sure, if I know he stays loyal too, sure

[Paris13]

Nice, dear!!! xx

[exitseven]

I did the LDR routine for 3 years. It was bad. I would not like to do it again. If I found somebody that I loved I would figure out a way to be with her in person.

[Paris13]

Lovely, dear. xx

[exitseven]

thank you, Paris.

[Paris13]

Welcome, dear. xx

[Emperor2408]

I guess it depends on how much we love out partner. I mean, if we love him/her a lot then I think LDR should be fine.

[Paris13]

I se a Master. xx

[t-8900]

They have the same failure and success rate as normal relationships studies have shown. Trust is key as another has already stated.

[Paris13]

Trust is Not Easy. lol!!! xx

[t-8900]

I know that better than most I can think. The thing is that life and love are a gamble. The greater the risk, the greater reward. Love is the greatest thing on earth and it's the greatest gamble to lower your guard to be hurt all over again. But love should never be sold short as not being worth it Paris 😁💞

[apple24]

I don't know. I am just feel happy alone. no one calling me or on my mind. It’s just me and my thought.

[Paris13]

Good for You, apple!!! xx

[Anonymous]

We don’t

We’re force to live endless lives that never seem to end.

We never chose to live or be here

And if you chose to leave you are shamed

[Paris13]

Lovely!!! xx

[tatianamay]

If I am really interested in that guy, then sure, Paris!

[Paris13]

Great, Lovely!! xx

[Lliam]

I'd do an LDR, but I would not "commit". I'd continue the relationship while continuing to search.

[Paris13]

Yikes!!! xx

[Jamie05rhs]

@Lliam Then it's not a relationship.
If it's a relationship, you need to stay faithful to them.

[Lliam]

@Jamie05rhs. Two possibilities:
1) If I was married but one of us had to transfer for an extended period of time, like on deployment or something, I'd remain 100% faithful and committed. No question.

2) If I connected with someone on-line while seeking a relationship and we got along really well via text and messaging, I'd cultivate that relationship in the hope that it might become reality but, honestly, I'd consider it to be more of a pen pal friendship. At best, it would have the potential to become a relationship, and at worst it might be an illusion.

I would NOT put my life on hold because someone was lovey dovey via messages. I would not promise to be faithful. I'd realize that I didn't actually know that person and might be deluding myself about the "relationship" out of desperation.

So that friendship wouldn't stop me from looking for a better situation and a more suitable partner. There are lots of people in the world. There is such a thing as GU (geographically undesirable). My wife taught me that term.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Lliam Exactly. Possibility #2 isn't a relationship yet.

[Alyssa11]

I did LDR because I felt like I had no choice. We were on lockdown and he wasn’t ready to marry me officially so that either of us could move country and be together.


Worst mistake of my life and I’ll never do it again. Love conquers all there should be no thing as no choice. Either you have a full relationship which involves intimacy while being in each other’s physical presence or you don’t have one at all I say.

[douride2]

Been there done it before.
It didn't work out.
Don't want to do it again.

[Paris13]

Good Move, girl!! xx

[Jamie05rhs]

I would. If I found a girl, and she was the right one, there's no way I would throw her away for something as petty as distance.

[Paris13]

No Arm's Throw Here. xx

[Wiredone]

I will never do a long distance relationship again. It doesn't work out

[Paris13]

It Can. xx

[Wiredone]

I tried it twice when I was younger. Both relationships failed because we lived to far apart