
Would You Date or Marry Someone Who is So Called "Out of Your League"?


I was tempted to say no, though I instinctively include much more than just looks. To run with that idea for a sec, I have seen too many cases where people liked a partner, but underestimated how much their deficiencies will annoy them over time and ruined their relationships by not being ambitious enough. Even in terms of looks, I am tempted to make things "easy" by dating down to make the other person indebted to me for accepting them. That's probably the most toxic thing one can do. If someone was a lot more attractive than me, I would be asking "Is she being naive and making a mistake she's going to regret?"
Which is why I like to examine people's worldviews and virtues and if I believe someone is sincere and not just victim of their own biased perception, no amount of good looks is going to stop me! So I ultimately voted yes.
No one is 'out of my league,' I'm out of theirs. I bet there are some attractive women behind some of these usernames, and yet, every time i visit this site I see a cess pool of brain rot that need be cleansed.
In fact, the first time I 'lurked' here I was thinking.. "Wow another community of leftists towing the line, never come here again."
But then I realized poking the beehive with reality was actually quite enjoyable. In a community full of lemmings, it makes the learned like me feel a bit like a genius.
Yes, I have a lot of Pride, and that can be very dangerous. On the other hand vanity is practically a death sentence.
I mean I've gone for 4 people (Parker, Jesse, Dez #3, and Rob #3) who were out of my league and they surprisingly went for me in return. I mean all i did was compliment them lol. I ain't that brave to just approach someone out of my league. And well all 4 were flattered. Parker however, gave me “just wanna hookup” vibes and i was tempted but i wouldn't stoop that low. Rob flirted but made it obvious he was into girly girls and got mad that i wouldn't dressup more. Dez #3 and i dated until we found out that he got the girl before me pregnant. And Jesse and i were a thing until he started hinting at showing interest in guys too and i was like, yea, hell nawl
There's nothing called "leagues"
If you like someone, then you like them, they'd be a 10 in your eyes if you like them a lot. You'd overlook their flaws and learn to love them. On the other hand, if you think "you're out of their league", or too good-looking for them, then that's not love. You're just with them to boost your ego.
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It NOT what I THINK... what matters is what SHE believes!
EVERYONE is entitled to a companion who recognizes a 'good thing' when they HAVE it.
I have no interest fighting off wanna-be Suitors from a flirty Bitch-in-Heat~
If I'm JUST 'good enough for now' then SHE'S not 'good enough';
the time & resources I devote to her, cannot be gotten back
Sure, as long as THEY didn't think they were out of MY league.
There are gorgeous girls out there who are very nice and not at all conceited or materialistic. They may be looking for something other than shallowness. I've even heard of very beautiful girls who don't get asked out because good guys are too intimidated. And the guys who do approach them are only interested in one thing.
Thinking that some is out of your league says more about you than about them.
"Out of your league" is a teenie bopper phase used by those that mostly value other by their looks. Hopefully, once you hit your Sr. year of high school you stop doing this.
I date people that are fun and interesting. People that share the same values that I do. People that enable us to develop a connection.
Some have been SUPER fine. Some not so much.
I feel that if ALL super good looking tell me no. I am doing something very wrong. It is not my looks.
No one can answer that , because who is the judge of whos in what league? Its just bullshit to me , I've always had stunning younger girlfriends , but Im not making " declaration of league " and I couldnt care less what some other might think.
Sometimes , I get dirty looks from offended women , its always women who seem to wish to judge.
Married already... about the same "league"
If I were still single would I date someone of a lower league? Sure, as long as I liked her and found her cute/pretty is some way and I liked her personality.
Would I date someone above me? Sure, if I had, had the chance. Why not?
I've done it before and would definitely do it again
My ex-partners both approached me for frankly reasons I still don't know because I really wasn't in more than let's say a generous 5 compared to their easy 9 and 10 (well I'd say 12 honestly as she's still incredible)
We've done this before. Nobody is out of my league. Boy that set off a couple of women who immediately called me no end of horrible insulting names and then banned me. Because I am out of their league in their minds subconsciously i guess. But...
Really nobody is out of anyone's league.
That's like turning down a job. Because it pays too much money.
Anyways, if they like you and want to be with you. They aren't out of your league. While some people will cheat no matter what. Most won't if they feel emotionally connected to and fulfilled by their partner.
In reality I don't believe in an out of your league concept. It's a tactic of the self absorbed or the jealous bullies. Never sell yourself short... ofc I do that to myself all the time so I'd be a hypocrite in giving such advice without sharing that info
I have dated some who were above my league physical-wise, and I think that was one of the aspects that made them not want to introduce me to their friends and so.. so I am not going actively for that anymore, but I would not reject if someone actually showed me genuine interest.
I do think I need to find someone below my league, will just suit me better.. and that is also what I see for most women around me.. women are just better looking in my mind, so it is not so weird.
Every woman is out of my league... so if I could I would. But since clearly no woman wants me... I guess I will just be alone forever. Better to accept it than to keep fighting for something that won't ever happen.
@Paul09 I really haven't lol. I still really want it, but since no one wants me... I just wallow about it. Probably isn't the healthiest option but it is what it is. I'm so tired of being told "It just isn't your time" or "you're such a great guy someone would be lucky to have you" by my friends. If they really cared they would help me more.
Yeah, there must be a reason for them to want to be with me.
I would think that same thing
Slut shaming? So you recognise you are a slut. Why would any handsome and very successful man want to be with a whore. I say this to help you. I want to be successful in life so I would never sleep with random whores.
Change yourself unless you feel the dream in life is too above you.
I do have morals and values. I'm intelligent, compassionate, empathetic, easy to talk to and be around. You judge only one tiny aspect of my being, while I'm out here with plenty of quality people in my life eager to keep in touch because my value as a person is more nuanced than you're capable of grasping.
i'm sorry that indian guy said these things to you , but don't think all are like that , i'm indian myself raised in the US , with a body count of 6 . the girl i'm dating has a body count of 5-6 . and i'm ok with it cause its the past and move on !! if i slept with multiple partners how can i judge someone on having others? thats hypocrisy..
your sex life doesn't define who you are so be proud of it !!!
thank you mam , have a great day !!
there is a lot of sexism in india , like indian men mostly wears western clothes but when indian women wear western clothes they are slut shamed and considered " wannabe westerner" thats pretty messed up here... being indian myself i feel ashamed
i wish i could live in that country but i can't afford anymore
thanks !! i am thinking to shift to germany on student visa
denmark is good too but i can't afford the cost of living there + weather is too cold for me sorry mam, germany could be better for me i guess
ok cool , i am actually just 18 so not really aware of the real world yet !
thank you mam !!
what do you do for a living mam? just curious in denmark
I think everyone is usually open to that possibility.
but personality comes first.
an attractive person can start to look really ugly if you get to know them but don’t like them anymore. 🤷♀️
It depends on how she feels. If I get the impression from her I'm not good enough, no. I don't know why she would want to be with me if she feels that way. I don't like the feeling that I'm not good enough for them. I couldn't live in a relationship if she feels superior to me.
Yes. But usually this applies to women not dating men who are on lower social status than them ("hypergamy").
Hypergamy nowaday is almost only in redpill discourse, evidence shown that it is going to disappear with female education diffusion. Here a bunch of literature about:
Chudnovskaya, M., & Kashyap, R. (2020). Is the end of educational hypergamy the end of status hypergamy? Evidence from Sweden. European Sociological Review, 36(3), 351–365.
Erát, D. (2021). Educational assortative mating and the decline of hypergamy in 27 European countries: An examination of trends through cohorts. Demographic Research, 44, 157–188.
Esteve, A., Garcia-Román, J., & Permanyer, I. (2012). The gender-gap reversal in education and its effect on union formation: the end of hypergamy? Population and Development Review, 38(3), 535–546.
Esteve, A., Schwartz, C. R., Van Bavel, J., Permanyer, I., Klesment, M., & Garcia, J. (2016). The end of hypergamy: Global trends and implications. Population and development review, 42(4), 615.
Sure, why not? Why should she not have the ability to experience my outstanding personality just because someone thinks she's "out of my league".
There is no leagues.
Either y'all like eachother or ya don't.
Very true... but it has to be mutual.
Preference is only half of it. How the person makes you feel when you're around them, their personality, is also what matters. The confidence you display. How you carry yourself.
All of that is not a preference. You can have a preference but settle or accept something from someone who doesn't possess what you desire in a significant other.
One can prefer a tall man with dark hair, who has big muscles and who has a big ego, but settle for be attracted to someone completely opposite or who doesn't inherit and/or possess all of the traits they may carry.
Preference means you prefer.
Settling means even though they aren't what you prefer you choose to be with them anyway.
Choosing to ignore a preference doesn't make it less a preference.
It means you choose to not be with who you prefer.
I used to settle to make my family happy, not anymore.
I'm choosing the person i prefer to be with.
Mind body and soul
And as in "preference" meaning you prefer, means that you'd rather have someone with these traits and or characteristics.
"Settling" means that although they don't possess Thales traits that you "prefer" your significant other to have, they're still what you want.
And you're right; choosing to ignore a preference that that person doesn't have doesn't mean that you can't prefer that person over someone who does. It just means that that person whom you're interested in, who doesn't carry those preferences that you prefer them to have, is someone who you would love or wouldn't mind spending time with or being with, regardless of what they may have. We're both technically saying the same thing, but just because one has a preference doesn't mean that they can't fall in love with someone who does have what you prefer. Hope this isn't confusing you.
Exactly. 💯 agree 👍🏽
If you already don't have someone like that, hopefully the both of us finds someone very special, even though they may not meet all our requirements or preferences, very soon 😊
Me too. Although I know the crush rn won't last, although he probably likes me and is interested, I'm not looking for anything serious rn. After I graduate college and move back to my hometown, then I'll consider looking for that guy 😊
Lol.
Women love that stuff, and then complain about feeling unwanted. But getting half the property at divorce, a child to abuse, or the bragging rights is too appealing for the spoilt self entitled brats to pass?
i dont really even bother with worrying about leagues... if i want her im gonna try to be with her
Absofuckinglutely & I would date her but I wouldn’t marry her.
Why not marry her?
Because marriage is like a hurricane there is a lot of blowing in the beginning & when it’s all said & done your house is gone.
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