My boyfriend and I just started dating, I'm still not feeling any "sparks" bad sign?

Question

It's been less then two months and as much as I enjoy and like him I dont feel that connection or spark or whatever. I don't want to hurt him or waste his time. Should I feel that way immediately? Do I give it more time? I'm just worried, thanks for your opinions.

My boyfriend and I just started dating, Im still not feeling any sparks bad sign?

Answer 1

ItsMeElliana | 101 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

uh, how long were you guys friends for? or were you guys ever friends first?
to actually have a partner that we call a boyfriend is to first get to know each other, become friends, and then. if you do find each other interesting enough, or fall in love perhaps, then you start dating... it doesn't happen in the blink of an eye..
"sparks" of what exactly? love or lust? if its just lust, why even spend time with this guy, just be honest to him how you feel like, and tell him maybe you just wanna be friends, and then startover, see where it goes.
you're gonna hurt him even more if you keep this in for more time, what if he actually falls in love with you and you tell him you dont.. so its better to express your feelings first, rather than hurting him more in the future. now's hurt would be much lesser compared

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1 Person

Answer 2

Anonymous

Typically the first few months of the relationship, you feel a spark or a connection, but it’s different for everyone. Sometimes it takes a while to develop, but I think you should tell him. If you don’t want to… just wait it out and see how you feel after another month. No spark? I would tell him and break it off.

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1 Person

sadyikes

1 mo
We started dating like a week after we starting hanging out could that be the reason?
Opinion Owner

1 mo
I think so. Did you get to know him at all?
sadyikes

1 mo
Tbh not really 😅 but he's the first person since my ex i felt any interest in and didn't wanna say no when he asked me
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Opinion Owner

1 mo
That might be it! It’s not a bad thing, it happens often for people. I think you just need to communicate with him that you want to get to know him more besides the surface level ya know? Ask him deep questions, talk to him about future/past, etc. There will be more of an emotional connection and more of a spark once you get to know him more. Like I said, it really depends on the person, some people don’t feel a spark until later on. I think after you get to know him more, and you’ll still don’t feel a spark, you may just not be emotionally ready for a relationship, but want to feel loved and intimate (I know that feeling all to well🙄😂 and it’s pretty common.)
sadyikes

1 mo
Thank you I know I have a lot to work on myself and I decided I wouldn't let my anxiety take over and keep me from exploring a new relationship I guess I'm still fighting that but I do want to give it more time and I'm gonna give it my best effort

Answer 3

sadyikes

We started dating like a week after we starting hanging out could that be the reason?

Answer 4

Opinion Owner

I think so. Did you get to know him at all?

Answer 5

sadyikes

Tbh not really 😅 but he's the first person since my ex i felt any interest in and didn't wanna say no when he asked me

Answer 6

Opinion Owner

That might be it! It’s not a bad thing, it happens often for people. I think you just need to communicate with him that you want to get to know him more besides the surface level ya know? Ask him deep questions, talk to him about future/past, etc. There will be more of an emotional connection and more of a spark once you get to know him more. Like I said, it really depends on the person, some people don’t feel a spark until later on. I think after you get to know him more, and you’ll still don’t feel a spark, you may just not be emotionally ready for a relationship, but want to feel loved and intimate (I know that feeling all to well🙄😂 and it’s pretty common.)

Answer 7

sadyikes

Thank you I know I have a lot to work on myself and I decided I wouldn't let my anxiety take over and keep me from exploring a new relationship I guess I'm still fighting that but I do want to give it more time and I'm gonna give it my best effort

Answer 8

RealMarek | 235 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

Attraction is complicated. Sometimes people who should work on paper and seem well matched in terms of personality, interests, and even values just don’t have physical chemistry. It cannot be forced. It doesn’t mean the relationship cannot work. A lot of couples have made relationships work and grow into love through their commitment and dedication to each other, but if you don’t feel chemistry early on there is no guarantee you will feel it later.

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1 Person

Answer 9

Anonymous

The whole “sparks” thing is such bullshit if you like the person and they are attractive and you want to be with them that’s all that matters. You can spend your whole life chasing some “spark” and never get it or if you do it will be short lived. It’s more about maturity that some stupid spark

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2 People

Answer 10

Aerissa_Jade | 232 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Explorer

For some people, things get too intense too fast. Others are not so, but with time it might.

You probably did get too serious with him too fast. If you weren't feeling any sparks, you could of just dated and not made anything official. It is okay to date multiple guys at once. It is not okay to have multiple boyfriend's at once.

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1 Person

Answer 11

HighValue | 439 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

It takes me around 6 months before I really can feel a strong connection with someone and that is if everything is going great.

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1 Person

sadyikes

1 mo
That makes me feel better this is only my second relationship so 😌 I don't know much
HighValue

1 mo
I think for serious emotions to develop (not just physical lust) it takes time. I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe watch some movies that have themes in them for things that are important to you so you can easily bring up related topics to talk about because if you have compatible morals and compatible long term life goals, along with building trust (which takes time) then you can become closer emotionally and bond better.
sadyikes

1 mo
I feel like my last relationship was a loooot of lust maybe I just need to adjust thank you for replying

Answer 12

sadyikes

That makes me feel better this is only my second relationship so 😌 I don't know much

Answer 13

HighValue

I think for serious emotions to develop (not just physical lust) it takes time. I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe watch some movies that have themes in them for things that are important to you so you can easily bring up related topics to talk about because if you have compatible morals and compatible long term life goals, along with building trust (which takes time) then you can become closer emotionally and bond better.

Answer 14

sadyikes

I feel like my last relationship was a loooot of lust maybe I just need to adjust thank you for replying

Answer 15

slatyb | 7.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

You aren't feeling it. The next time he contacts you, say "Sorry, you are very nice but I don't feel that we belong together. Best wishes."

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Answer 16

genericname85 | 7.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Well do you think the sparkles you described is a reasonable expectation to have? Did you have this for other guys and is it something you should expect to have?

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Answer 17

Diodoro | 143 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

Getting into a relationship with someone before sparks was the bad sign

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Answer 18

Flower7 | 1.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

This does sound like a waste of both of your time. It would be best to end it as soon as possible.

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Answer 19

Hulk30 | 168 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 5

it's a lack of sexual attraction just be honest and cut it off

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Answer 20

WhiteBoyChill | 85 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 5

I never been in a relationship but from my own observation it does appear that every couple I know felt a spark by that time

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1 Person

Answer 21

scott04sa22 | 1.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

If your not feeling it then call it off.

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Answer 22

LegendaryIcon | 530 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Explorer

were you friends first, and for how long

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Answer 23

In_Trance | 6.6K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Not good

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My boyfriend and I just started dating, I'm still not feeling any "sparks" bad sign?

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