I'm not talking to anyone.
I've not been on a date.
I've not even had a guy approach me. (not that that happens much anyways)
But I'm really off my game atm.
giphy.com/.../thebachelorette-abc-season-14-oyhPNKyz5qaTMsBDGm
Maybe they're more important things right now in your life that you need to focus on and do instead of focus on or be interested in someone else when that right person is meant for you it's going to happen you just have to make sure that you're out talking to people putting yourself not necessarily out there but just being yourself doing things being kind of other people maybe volunteering if you're that type of person just get out instead of being at home all the time if that's the case I know I had that problem and once I lost 130 lb because I was also overweight after my divorce 13 years ago and I just didn't care and I didn't want to be around women I looked at them as being evil because my ex cheated on me and so forth. I lost the weight I went to counseling just so that I could get over being evil towards women and not giving two shits about them because of what she did to me and once I healed and I lost the weight and now I'm within the correct weight limit I'm supposed to be for my height and I'm healthy and I'm eating good I had absolutely no problem eating a very wonderful woman that even called me her King we've been talking over the phone for about 3 months and doing duos video chat once to twice a day I got to know her four year old son and getting to know her 13-year-old daughter who is a little bit hard to get to know because her mom has kind of put her in that predicament from the last boyfriend she was with 3 years ago 4 years ago they talked for a couple months on the phone and then they met and after the first date he moved in with her so she's got some issues there and especially now that she's not with that guy after 3 years that guy just completely disowned the kids which is sad you don't do that. You just need to put yourself out there be careful doing it get to know people talk to people you don't have to rush into anything sexual you can take your time at that getting to know somebody and if they're trying to pressure you walk away it's not worth it there's too much shit out there today to catch
Well, I'm 29. When I was 19 or 20 I didn't have a girlfriend.
I spent 5 to 6 years without dating or having casual sex.
I met a beautiful girl, 9 years older than me, a couple of years ago and she was one of the best girlfriends I ever had.
I wanted to marry her but she broke up with me 3 weeks before the pandemic started.
Having my heart broken like that made me consider suicide. But, I got over her. I still care for her in a way, but, I'm doing good. I learned a lot from that experience.
Back in May/ June 2021 I used Tinder and 3 days into it, I met another girl.
We had it all. I tought I've found the right one for me. She even was the one who sent me a message on the app. After months of an amazing relationship she told me there was someone else. I was angry at her, but, I just walked away.
I just stopped believing in women's word. They say one thing and do another.
End up hurting you anyway. But, after months I feel better, I just don't feel ready to date again.
So, I understand how you feel. I'm still in love with my ex. But, maybe you have other things to do, enjoy yourself, watch a movie by yourself, work out, learn something new evbery day, spend some time by yourself. Rediscover your favorite bands, anime, whatever. Yes, I still want to fall in love, get married and have kids, but, I want to do some stuff for me first, so, maybe you want to give this a try? Hope this helps. And whatever you do, don't use Tinder.
If you could share your opinion on my question, I'd appreciate it.
(Girls, is breadcrumbing a good thing from my ex girlfriend?)
When I was in a Dry spell it was the best time tbh I didn’t want to date or a relationship it was very peaceful. I barely noticed that I was single because I loved it so much and it was stress free (it got comfortable) during that time I worked on myself and after it I became a strong person woman. I discovered who I really was.
I've been single without having been on so much as a date for 6 years now, but it's been by choice. I just haven't had the desire.
Opinion
74Opinion
Most people are struggling with the pandemic - most group events are canceled and people are staying home more, which means you have to make a greater effort to get out in the world and meet people. That's not easy, but it's the only thing that's going to solve that problem.
Whatever you do, stay off dating apps. They're only good for casual sex or for a long trip to the black pit of despair. Meet in person and only date locally.
@sage2021 I'm going to assume that you aren't trolling, and rather are just sweet and naïve, and so I'm going to give you a straight answer. If it doesn't help you, then maybe it will help someone else.
"Dating apps" in general, and Tinder especially, are not at all designed to help people get into relationships, even though they pretend to be. A dating app is to relationships like a snow cone is to food: it's barely in the same category and has no nutritional value. Dating apps are incredibly shallow - "pick me because I look good in this picture", with Tinder intentionally taking this to the extreme - which means that in practice, it's used almost exclusively as a means for people to have casual sex. In fact, let me be more specific: it's a means for women who are a 4/10 or higher to have casual sex with guys who are 9s and 10s (because they completely ignore all other men on those apps), so the guys who are 9s and 10s will fuck 100 girls a year from Tinder, but will never get into a relationship with any of them, meanwhile 80% of men on those apps are completely ignored, except by the app itself, which is trying to sell them subscription packages that give them better access to message more women the more they pay. And all the girls on those apps who are looking for a relationship either just get used for casual sex by guys who will lie and ghost them, or just don't get anywhere because all the guys there are just trying to hook up.
The amount of actual relationships these apps generate per month, worldwide, that last even a year, you could count on your fingers and toes, and there's probably not enough of them to even necessitate removing your shoes and socks.
Meh. Free pass. Pandemic. Doesn't even count. 🤗
Not in a dry spell now but was about 7 years ago so I know the feeling. Was totally off my game.
i was roommates with my brother at the time and asked for advice. He really got me out of my funk.
the key for me was getting out more, talking to more people, Friendlier to people, I joined a running club. ( can be any club for that matter)
hey it worked, have had a relationship for 5 years and engaged.
That's the problem. I don't have friends. And in the past when I had friends in stead of actually listening to me they were too busy telling me what they think I should do. One went as far as trying to set me up with someone whilst I was in a relationship that she thought was better for me just because we were the same race.
Had she spent time to get to know him she'd understand that he didn't even like black girls and wasn't in the slightest bit interested in me.
My life has been a series of misfortune events simply because I've been incompatible with a lot of people, just going along to fit in. (a reason why I think I might actually be autistic)
I'm a kind person and always try to see the good in others but, that has allowed me to have some wrong people in my life.
Now I'm doing me, I'm doing singular hobbies until I feel able to date.
I won't lie I'm horny asf but I'm trying to control the urge to just mess around with some one to fill that void.
You know!
I'm glad you found happiness, you're brother had your back. I'll eventually find my tribe who'll have mine too at least for all the right reasons x
Totally feel you on this one. The thing is it's a "dry spell" how you call it, because you have stopped engaging or didn't feel the need to have dates.
So if you want to change this state you need to create the need for realationships, dates or just being with people you want to get befriend and eventually be intimate with
I'm not gonna lie the last few break ups were so bad that it has left me really cautious about getting involved with anyone. I'm nowhere near as confident or resilient.
I'm kinda in a place where yea it's nice to date but it's also incredibly hard to put myself out there. I'm really afraid of enduring that kind of heartbreak again.
It nearly cost me everything
I appreciate your honesty and you sharing your vulnerability. Take yourself out of the need to date or have a partner as long as you want! Trust me you won't lose or miss anything. Because if you do so you would acctually listen to your inner self.
dry spells happen, been there.
have girlfriend now and enjoy time with her, made her some great food last night and she and the kiddo enjoyed it.
my prior dry spells lasted decades. sooner you work on yourself, heal, challenge yourself, faster the spell ends.
Yea not every guy believes that even works. You might have to go up to a guy yourself. I have only had success with approaching a girl twice , and both times it was more a dead end then anything. We try, fail , and fail some more , and then quit trying.
Some may say that you shouldn't give up but I could take a leaf out my own book aye!
haha trying and failing are the spice in life , so go for it.
i just contradicted myself but you know what i mean
Honestly since I left America during all this crazy political and social unrest, I've been having a much better experience dating in Mexico. Dating in States is very hard, you're seen as an expendable commodity, and no one seems to really be interested in growing together as a team. My advice, get out of the USA, it's a sinking ship.
I'm in the uk. I've been considering finding a job overseas. I need heat!
@lilyanony1 Haha busca el calor!
Understand u perfectly, was in this limbo for 2 years. Communicate where u can, bit by bit. Even if you dont care at first, by making small talks you will learn both others and yourself. Then make a range of friends and significant ones by having common grounds and trying new stuff together. Eventually, the tides will turn. Good luck.
Yes and no, my dry spells are self imposed for some me time.
I'm going on a take it slow spell right now, rather than dating a bunch of guys all at once, focusing just on one, might make it two or three.
If I'm in a relationship, I only go with him but the one guy hasn't made a move to make it official yet, so we shall see.
just spend time on you. Date yourself for a spell. could be that you've been in and out of relationships so long that you have forgotten what single life is like. Enjoy being single for a while. I had a dry spell of about 6 years once. Sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the roses.
It's not your personal issue. Not at all. It is these gynocratic women who sell thot culture as "empowerment". That and family court law which so often awards 1/2 of a guy's stuff to women if she sleeps with him a couple of times. Guys are scared of this sh*t now. No dude wants to be bouncing on a professional 304 and then giving up half his cash just because she gave up her v-jayjay just like she did with 100 other dudes. Compared to dating in the 90s, this is the back end of hell.
Yeah, it has only been 6 months since I last dated someone, who ended up ignoring me, but I feel like this one is going to become a much longer period. So happy being single now, with no urges to start dating again at all, have other parts of my life to focus on.
I can see how 2 years can be considered a "dry spell" for an attractive female.
However if that's a dry spell, my world of dating is a wasteland that has never seen a drop of water and with no hope of repair. 34 going on 35 years single.
Go to a nice bar, wear something sexy, order a drink and sit at the bar alone.
It's literally THAT easy for you ladies...
If you're not sure about your appearance, go hit the gym and work on your legs. You can't change your tits but you can make that booty delicious.
Again, it's literally THAT simple for you ladies...
Ha...
hmm... I'm also and have been single for two years, but I do not consider it a dry spell as I am not even trying or looking to be in a relationship or anything like that, doesn't bother me either... I'm fine as wine
Only a woman would consider a "dry spell" abnormal. For a lot of people (guys), the tragedy that you're experiencing is real, everyday life.
Well I can't really say, I'm sorry to say this is the case. What I will say is for me i only ever have long term relationships so this is rather strange. If i was out there getting hooked up then sure maybe people could protest the break doing me good but that's not the case. Been bitten more than a few times.
Im used to going through a dry spell anyway even way before the pandemic. I been single my whole life anyway. Im not seeing anyone at this moment, guys do not approach me. Im staying home most of the time anyway. Im used to be single anyway even if it be nice to experience for the first time the meaning of what is dating, I never did that, a guy never ever had approached me anyway. I was born single and Im sure I died single as well.
sorry to hear that, but I find you attractive n lovely ;)
People keep telling me that in the modern world women can approach men. In my experience what I've noticed is this.
If a woman approaches a man, he expects her to continue to chase him.
He may initially like that she plucked up the courage to go out on a limb but that very quickly wears off.
I don't really know what to say to you. I know that you have been in situations with men. Whether that made you happy or not I'm not sure. I do wonder why some people remain single whilst others find it very easy to partner up. But in my experience is there a lot of people that put up with "things" to remain coupled up. They're always quick to tell you don't do this and don't accept that but someone could be dealing with the very same thing but try their hardest to work at their relationship.
What I say is this and really this applies to me too. There's nothing wrong with you. I can see from your photo that you are an attractive woman. You look like you look after yourself fitness etc. And whoever is taking your photo brings something good out of you.
Do we need someone to complete us? No. Is it nice to have someone? yes.
I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone. Perhaps there are those of us that it takes a little longer for us to find. Once there's life there's hope.
You are correct @lilyanony1 in one thing I dont uinderstand either why for some people it is iso easy to find dates and partner up while for others it is like a huge struggle to achieve that.
The last time I got laid was back in April. I have only been one one date since and the girl turned out to be an alcoholic (she was drinking and driving twice in one week) so I had to turn away from that.
Dry spell usually means you’re bored with where you are OR you’re not moving… so, that means you have to change another area in your life.. why stay stuck? You can always challenge yourself to be better than you were yesterday.
Yep. Girls are weird.
On online dating most of them are either smokers, single mothers or social media addicts. In fact all dialogs end as soon as they ask me for instagram only for me to tell them, that I don't have any social media. I am no part of this degeneracy.
Apparently for them social media is more important than dating.
Why limit yourself to online dating? I’ve been on there and I haven’t run into as many “single mothers”, social addicts, drinkers/smokers..” as men complain about.. I’d love to run into any of those. Would make a great friend date.. I feel like men are becoming weird not women lol.. women seem to have given up on men.
@LinaDaGoddess
Might be dependent on location or the app or both.
I used hot or not.
Ah yes this is definitely true!
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