Is it too early to mention that I ONLY want an exclusive relationship on the first date? (Page 2)
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The first date is the perfect time to put your expectations out there. What's the point in being 2, 3 or 4 dates in and then find out that you both don't want the same thing? That's a waste of time and most likely money as well. The first date especially is meant to not only find out if you're compatible in terms of interests and personality, but is to also find out if you both are on the same frequency when it comes to expectations.
Unless the world has changed then being exclusive is what it means by being in a relationship!
This is the sort of thing you should be able to work out by generally talking with the person your dating and I wouldn't expect any specific need to ask. How you meet up will be a good indicator as to if it's a serious relationship e. g. if it's tinder then it's most likely a hook up unless stated otherwise.
I suggest bringing it ASAP. Simply say, "I'm not the type of woman who does casual dating. I take relationships seriously, and I feel that relationships must be exclusive.
There is nothing ambiguous in this statement. The guy knows exactly where he stands, and he either says yes, or no.
During whatever interaction that precedes the date.
Surely, you will talk with them for some time (whether it be in person or on a dating app) before agreeing to a date, and I think that's the appropriate time to discuss your expectations.
People who say that "it's too early" to discuss this or that are only ever in the business of wasting your time in hopes that you will get invested enough to let things slide.
Screw those people.
I think the first date is a little early in my opinion. Maybe wait and see how it goes, and how the second date goes, and maybe bring it up around that time? I think it might come across as being a bit too intense if you ask too soon. Just my opinion. And with the first date, that is just the beginning of getting to know if you even WANT to date the person again anyway. 😎
So the asker shouldn't reveal HER intentions, but demand he disclose his? Wish I could say this was surprising... no shame at all.
Obviously you seem to know what you want from a relationship, and the best way to avoid misunderstandings is to meet and tell each other in a friendly way what your expectations are. Being in front of each other allows to get a better idea of who you have there. Declaring on forehand before meeting is very clear of course, but a big turn off. Well, that's how I would feel it.
It sounds to me like you're suggesting that you're monogamous and you want the person that you're going out with to be monogamous and faithful too you. That's not too much to ask and you both should be upfront about that if it's an issue of uncertainty or in question. If one of you is monogamous and the other one is a hedonist, then that's like not going to work at all because it just won't.
Too bad sweetheart. Love in its entirety is a waste of time. People just can’t accept that. Won’t accept that. Because love leads to reproduction and that is needed or we will die as a species. Good thing is that too many people still do it so I don’t have to
It's my personal opinion that this should be everyone's goal. So I don't see it weird to bring this up right away. However if it was one of the first things a woman said to me I might think she was a control freak and it might repulse me. Because while I think this should be everyone's goal I also see dating as a process. You might not find your partner but you meet some great people. People who will impact your life.
What do you mean you never dated anybody by choice? Like you were forced to date somebody nah I don't think so. Why don't you see how it goes before you can get into a committed relationship with a complete stranger that's why you go out on dates and you let it grow you just don't go by the whole tree immediately
The first date is supposed to be used to see if there is mutual interest. It’s important to communicate your intentions from the starts to avoid complications early on. I think that is perfectly valid to state that you want a monogamous relationship upfront
tell them right from the beginning that you feel that way but don't come on to strong with it cause they will get freaked like your planning the wedding already. just mention it as a matter of fact & your not interested in anything different than that
Bring it up whenever you want, but the 'don't want to waste time' bit is really not a good attitude to have. Also, not every guy will know if he wants to commit to you. He may want to do something crazy like get to know you first.
I’m not asking him to be exclusive with me but want to make known that I’m only looking for a boyfriend, also not necessarily him but in general
Now you are talking out of both sides of your mouth.
You said you only want an exclusive relationship, then you just said you wouldn't ask him to be exclusive... so which is it
I want to eventually be exclusive if the persons right but just like you said you can’t know someone just from the first date. So my question is when is it appropriate to tell men that I’m only interested in a relationship? But not necessarily saying I’m interested in a relationship with THEM
Like most other guys are saying, the sooner the better. This is my workaround on the whole timing of that discussion. I've never been a guy who dates multiple women at once for several reasons (I make that clear very early) I am not looking for casual, friends with benefits, etc. I am looking to be with a woman who wants a relationship. Although, that is my goal too, we may not stay together for whatever reason. But, it won't be from me fucking some other woman, etc... I'm paraphrasing, but you see what I'm doing?
I think it's perfectly fine to make your expectations and standards known on the first date. If the guy freaks out and runs, then he wasn't the guy for you anyways. Ultimately, it will save you a lot of time and heartache to find these things out early on.
State this before the first date. People will still try to date you just to f-around with you, so be careful. But people who want the same thing, and you two are compatible will understand it.
I know i'm like this as well, i mean i don't want to casually date and fuck random girls, i just want a normal relationship with a girl and be with her forever.
There is no "too early" and this is often what's asked first these days. Absolutely let him know what you're looking for and want, and find out directly what he wants also. Yes he can lie (some immature guys might), but usually when you ask directly, and also let him know what you want (directly saying it to him), if he's only looking for sex, this will likely deter him. There's no question now as it's been talked about.
Just be upfront about what you want, nothing wrong with that. Dont be afraid to lose guys because of that, they never feel bad or afraid of doing the shit they do to us such as leaving us for other women, lol
I totally understand what you say here and would happily accept it because it makes it a lot simpler for all (as you're not wasting anyones time). Every person dating ideally should know exactly what they want.
Something to mention before the first date if you get that opportunity, but certainly if you do go a couple of dates with a guy be sure and get that across before he tries to move things along sexually.
I would tell him right away. You could say something along the lines of “I’m not trying to put a label on things immediately but I am looking to have an exclusive relationship.”
In the interest of not wasting your time or his.