Based off your experience, when you fell for someones personality rather than their looks, did you last?

Question

So i just dropped a new mixtape, I mean mytake, but I realized i left out one guy. He was the one person who had a personality that i was more attracted to than his looks.  He was such a great guy and I do feel I loved him just as he loved me. But remember, I said I need to be IN LOVE to surpass such flaws. What I felt for him was sadly not unconditional. By month 3, I left him for someone who I was previously into before having met him. The person i left him for was someone I had wanted forever and someone who had the personality of the guy above, yet he also had the looks. He had one upped the man. Yea it probably sounds shallow, but I just have to go for someone who I am initially attracted to both the looks and personality of. Otherwise, i probably won't stick around for long. But after having hurt that man, I’ve chosen not to put another guy through that pain just because he may have had a great personality.  So I’m asking this because I constantly see people saying looks dont matter. But have you lasted with the person who’s looks you didn't give a damn about?  #FeelFreeToList #WhoDoYouLove #LooksDoMatter

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

No, it did not last. Even though she isn't the best looking girl in the world, I still fell for her personality, it became more and more apparent that the persona she was showing me was not her true self. I fell for her bubbly personality, the (deep) talks we would have and the humor we shared. Only to find out that she has a depression, is extremely self-centered and living in the past. She was so focused on the people who had left her, that she was missing who was right in front of her. And worst of all, her actions became proof that she didn't love me, she only loved the attention, validation & hole I was filling inside her. She may thought she loved me, but looking back objectively, the things she said and did was proving the contrary. Add in other factors like racism from her family and some of her lies, that I had no choice but to break it off. In the end, I fell for her facade, only to be disappointed about her true-self.

With my current girlfriend, it was her looks that allowed me to talk to her. From the first date, it was an instant "match" for our personalities. So much that we had re-scheduled our second date a week earlier than planned. So it's thanks to her looks that I got to know her personality. So far I've not detected a facade. Her actions back her words flawlessly.

Diodoro · Accepted Answer

Never happened. I've developed feelings for girls that I was attracted to but wasn't the hottest girl I've ever been with. But I've never fell for a girl I wasn't attracted to.

Some people don't like to say it but you're not gonna fall in love with someone you're not already attracted to. Attraction always comes first. Men primarily choose on looks, girls primarily choose on behavior.

Which is why you'll see girls falling for guys that may not be conventionally attractive physically but he's attractive in ways that matter to girls based on how he is as a man.

But you're not gonna find a guy falling for a girl he's not already physically attracted to on some level.

ManOnFire · Answer

I have been with both ugly and attractive women, and those two were the ones who left. I never had any plans to leave them, and I loved and cared about them a lot, which they obviously took for granted, especially the ugly one.

When women finally get the love they always wanted, many will later on reach the break-up phase where what you showed them and how much you love them doesn't matter anymore because they begin to feel like they can do better than you. Until they regret it. The beautiful ex tried to pull me back awhile ago, and the ugly one stalks me on social media. But things will never be the same with either of them.

Having said that, the way I bond with a woman often has less to do with looks and more to do with the connection, because the ugly one is who I loved the most and even fucked her brains out more than the beautiful one. Looks can be great, and if that's what you're into then okay, but overall that primary connection should matter most.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

There is an African proverb that character can make ugly people beautiful and bad hearts make beautiful people ugly. I only care about looks when the personality is good and if he is ugly but kind hearted, I will date him anyway, cause looks does not matter to me forever - it just gets me interested in the very beginning, before I get to know them.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

My relationship where I fell for someone based on looks, did not last lol maybe a month or two. He turned out to be an asshole.
All my relationships where I fell for someone based on personality, definitely lasted way longer than expected.

Desconhecida · Answer

I think for a relationship to last, we need to have more things involved. Sometimes we think we are attracted to someone's personality but we just admire them. Attraction needs chemistry and no, it's not just about looks. It's a package.

red324 · Answer

I dated a girl for a couple months and she had all kinds of quirky one liners and you never knew what she was going to say. We had amazing conversations and I was actually excited to hear from her. Now she was cute as could be physically also, but I wouldn't care if she gained weight she was a beautiful person inside and out. For years I dated girls where I told myself I don't deserve to be treated like this where these girls complained about everything and it wasn't about me it was just their attitude in general oh life is so hard bla bla bla it's just a big sob story, then I stumble across this girl who's just a ball of sunshine. It didn't take long to fall fir her. She dumped me after 2 months for an unknown reason.

Lionman95 · Answer

I think you did the right thing though might hurt the first guy because I came to the realization that both matter nearly equally.
Looking at my dating life I have to admit that personality doesn´t get things done. All the girls I started dating online ended after about 2 to 3 months when I didn´t feel attracted to them. I think it takes way more effort if you don´t find the other person attractive.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I think personality is only an aspect of the overall emotional connection you develop with a person.

example you see a fit guy, great bod playing beach volley ball, he’s eyeing up all the local talent.

there is another guy, he’s okay, just not mr perfect like the first guy, he is however doing a load of stuff to help people, everyone he interacts with is laughing and happy.

with both, you have not met either or interacted with them, however there is a clear difference in their perceived personalities. There is however nothing on their intellectual capability or emotional capability (connections for both).

These to me are what often decides if a relationship lasts and is more important that just personality.

i could not be in a relationship with someone based purely on looks or personality, there needs to be that intellectual/ emotional connection as well.

mooky06 · Answer

Yes same situation. Back in freshman year i dated someone who had an awesome personality, looks not so much. We started out as good friends and then it developed into something more over time.

Around the 3 month mark we both agreed to break up. He knew I could do better then him and he needed to better himself in different aspects of his life. I didn’t want to be in the way of that and it was also a look thing aswell.

We are still close friends though ☺️ his a web developer and an incredible amount of weight. I’m proud of him. His happy which makes me happy.

Craftsman · Answer

I lasted over 7 years with a woman who, by American Standards of Beauty and Attractiveness, was a dismal failure. She was kind, gentle, loving, and cherished my affection as much as I cherished hers. She was always looking out for us, for our respective families, people in general and cats in particular.
It did not take long after we met that I saw her as much more beautiful than I did when we first casually met. In my case, beauty was indeed in the eye of the beholder. My one great regret is that a minor misunderstanding by both of us blew into a storm that drove us apart.

CrixusOfCapua · Answer

There's a problem if that I really look at a person -- like really look -- I'll find their personality beautiful even if tragically flawed. All the warning signs could be there like they hardly have any friends, their family wants little to do with them, and I find beauty in that as they express their dearest sentiments to me.

They bore their hearts to me and I have never found a heart laid bare to be ugly. I find it the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

I might have it simpler if I just paid attention more to looks. But most of the time, it didn't last because of either my faults or theirs. It was probably more often my fault since most of my exes didn't find beauty in a heart laid bare as I did.

Idontwantausername1 · Answer

I really don't need to date a model, but truth is. The eye wants something as well. So yeah, for me it's looks and personality. Personality is more important to me though, but if I don't find her attractive on the outside it's not going to work.

GoPhuckYaself · Answer

I don't understand why people think it's one or the other.. a ugly person with good personality, or a hot person with shit personality, do we not know a middle ground exists?
There's definitely people with a bit of both,
I don't understand why anyone would date a person they find ugly jus cos they have good personality, that's stupid in my opinion, you have to be at least somewhat physically attracted to them.. otherwise somewhere down the road you're going to realise it was a mistake and you'll jus end up upsetting them for no reason

melanieeeB · Answer

I never fell for someone just cause of their personality. I always need to find him attractive to some kind, but in the end it's the personality that makes it last.

cookiecrusher · Answer

My wife, 11 years and going.
Would i like her to have a cute face like one of the gorgeous women roaming the streets unaware of their luck, sure, who wouldn't. It would even make her happy, as she often brings up the fact she isn't that good looking.

It's okay, she tries, she is fit, dresses nice, does her hair. Tried makeup few times, looked like an angry raccoon🤣

But she still looks cute to me, in her own way. And her personality is great, someone i can trust, and i don't trust people easily.

Anonymous · Answer

Looks always diminish, yours included. For. most people this occurs somewhere between the ages of 30 and 45. This means that if looks are a deciding factor for. you, and it sounds like they are, your partner, assuming they're you're age, has at most 20 years with you before you're looking elsewhere.

It's a double edged sword, yours will diminish too and if he is as shallow as you are, you're likely to find yourself as a single mother at 40 trying to get dates with 30 year olds who are looking in the other direction...

Anonymous · Answer

Alright I am glad you acknowledged you hurt that guy because you certainly most likely did. It’s not like you left him because it wasn’t working out. No you left him because you lined someone else up which is extremely conceited.

I will admit I dated my last girlfriend more for companionship and compatibility then for attraction. I was trying to force myself to look deeper. This is even tougher when you are a man because I admit it’s true that we very visually stimulated. Also I did not break up with her to go to someone else. I just didn’t see it working out and I broke face to face and endured two hours of her screaming, crying and going ballistic. I wanted her to look back knowing she got to say everything she wanted to say. Closure.

Anyway I have been single for over 2 years now. I learned my lesson. It’s better to be single than to be in that situation. I hope you never do this again to someone else.

jillybeanns · Answer

Yeah, my current boyfriend is pretty average i looks. Not super model hot but definitely not unattractive. But when I met him his personality drew me in and I naturally gravitated towards him. When I asked him what made me stand out he said my voice & my face but my personality made him want to stay. ❤️

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Answer

Looks are secondary to me and yeah I know I'm in the minority. Of course there has to be some attraction there, but personality is like 75% for me. And I think it stems from me being more personality than looks. I was head over heels for the guy I lost my virginity to. And I hated him at first and didn't find him attractive. But his personality won me over big time.

t-8900 · Answer

I'll put it to you like this Desi... when I fell in love with her she emptied my heart of sadness and loneliness and my balls of all the cum... and I mean ALL of it. A girl just being attractive can't do that for me. Her personality has to be the first thing, our connection, our love, then it's better. Then my horniness gets turned into high gear and I'm ready to start up the baby manufacturing bid'ness. :3

Dragonpurple · Answer

I got real serious with someone who I was very attracted to that had a terrible personality, as time went on she started to look ugly and I ended it.

I have never had a forever relationship, when you say did it last I cannot say any has. Does a 14 year relationship count? That one was based 80% off of personality, rather than looks. Looks fade as we get older.

YollyM · Answer

Personally when I COMPARED the duration of my past relationships where I fell for the person's personality (and not necessarily their looks) and When I fell for the person's looks (and not necessarily their personality).
The relationships where I fell for the person's personality lasted longer. But honestly without comparison, they only lasted a little while. It's important to fall for both looks and personality.

exitseven · Answer

okay- I met somebody who was only average in the looks department. She was really talented and funny. We became friends and hung out a lot. The truth is that the more I got to know her, the better looking she got to me. I fell in love with her and we were together for 4 years.
I still have a picture of her from when we went to Montreal. I look at that picture today and I wonder what I saw in her in the first place.

Likes2drive · Answer

Looks matter, there has to be some attraction , just personality doesn’t work, I’ve tried that a couple of times and it didn’t last

Lovesims3plumbob · Answer

that I am not my ex boyfriend did change into a toxic after year of relationship broke up with him. after found guys that I wasn't attractive to in real life and another guy already has a girfirend. the guys on facebook. some werids other were not. other one guy didn't even borthing putting a time or date and day for it. I now been texting new guy and has called me more then once on the phone.

lancecantee · Answer

The longest lasting and best relationships I've had were with people I was mentally attracted to, which is a big part of how you live and function together, including shared hobbies. The times I was with someone mostly from physical attraction/chemistry, it may have lasted, but not as enjoyable.

kellytheman · Answer

I have fell for a girl personality more than her looks for awhile but for some reason we started to drift away. I feel maybe our personalities were still evolving and her was one way and my went another way and for awhile we didn't like each other as much anymore.

MountAverage · Answer

I couldn't and wouldn't ever date someone with only one or the other. I might hookup with someone based on her looks primarily, but even then I'd have to find her nice and get along with her somehow. Looks alone will never be enough. Personality alone will never be enough either, because I'm a visual person and I need certain visual stimuli to feel sexually attracted to someone.

It will always be some kind of mix of both things for me, never just one or the other.

Quigly · Answer

In todays world everyone is going in different directions with their life. Being in a relationship is easy, long term can be difficult. Most of my relationships have separated having nothing to do with not getting along with a girl, Just a bad set of circumstances in the way. Changing jobs, moving away etc, etc

ElvenMr · Answer

Physical attraction needs to be there to some extent as well. I don't mean she must have big boobs and ass. I need to like her looks, not too muscular or not too fat. I prefer sportier looking girls i think still. And i'm happy lol.
And i need to like the girls's voice as well to be really into her. It seems like it's a big deciding factor for me.
Her personality is maybe a bit more important then her voice tho.

JosyJosy · Answer

I don't fall for looks. Sure looks do matter but if you're handsome I'm not going to be like "O GOD, TAKE ME AS YOUR WIFE" no. Time makes me catch feelings for you, so personality. A cute guy is just a cute guy and that's it.

menina · Answer

I've never been on a relationship but I'm pretty sure that if I had a relationship based on personality it wouldn't last. Looks are 100% important to me.

Lynx122 · Answer

It's a difficult situation. I think it is possible but it can also not work. Sometimes no matter how much you like someone as a person you don't love them but sometimes it does work so you have to just figure it out.

RobT312 · Answer

Yeah, fell in love with her personality before her looks. Liked her looks too but it was her personality that made me want to date her. i guess it worked, going on 5 years...

jamesgoldman · Answer

I fall for intelligence and personality, looks are secondary but I think beneficial because the smart ones who look good and have been focused on merely for their looks are glad someone actually realizes they have a brain

NathanDavis · Answer

all my relationships lasted years... and they were never based on the looks, not as a priority they happened to be attractive though, but that was no coincidence either... lol

Jessica405 · Answer

Been with my guy for 5 years 3 months. I became his partner because of his personality, thoughtfulness and kindness. Same values and interests.

ItsMeElliana · Answer

I love his personality so much rn that his looks are just a + to him

MysticDevice · Answer

It did. She wasn't the prettiest but she was the coolest in my book. About a year and a half it lasted. Considering the average till then was 4 weeks that was pretty darn good.

VarddaanKaushikk · Answer

I Fell In Love with a girl's Personality 2 Years ago , Not that she isn't Good Looking , God She's Gorgeous ! But her personality was so Pure , Genuine and Positive that I couldn't help but fall in love with her. We've been together since then !

weysally · Answer

it was my husbands personality that attracted me first to him,

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I've always dated girls who had a great personality and never went by girls looks and I find beauty that is skin deep

Yourfriend2021 · Answer

There has to be physical attraction but looks can't hold a relationship together, there has to be an emotional bond. It's too bad women break guys hearts like you did though.

Wiredone · Answer

I dated a woman for her personality. She was average looking. She did have a nice smile and beautiful eyes. I married her and we're still married.

msc545 · Answer

I've done that, and it didn't last. I fell for someone with an interesting personality disorder and a lot of intellectual capacity which was very attractive for about two weeks.

Dargil · Answer

Actually no. It ended in a fiery divorce. She's an excellent deceiver.

Seangreen · Answer

You only look at somebody so much but you will always have to deal with who the person is

Anonymous · Answer

I mean, you should be at least somewhat attracted to the person but personality is what really lasts.

Waldoe · Answer

I did over 50 years ago... not sure how long it may last, still hoping...

Jerre · Answer

Yes I could and have dated women with better personalities than looks.

Guido · Answer

Yes. You need substance and not just beauty to have a relationship.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I answered a very similar question a few days ago. I'd have to go back and find it.

Rahul8124 · Answer

Both are important... but people don't fall for personality... it just plain lie there has to be attraction because of looks

Taylawebb1900 · Answer

Well he needs to be cute so that even if we fight I would want to kiss his cute face

Anonymous · Answer

I have to have at least some physical attraction for a relationship.

MCheetah · Answer

The ones that lasted the longest for me had both.

TrueConfection · Answer

Never started. lol. I think I was invisible.

loveslongnails · Answer

It lasted for a while !!

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. Married her actually.

najekim · Answer

Have lasted 26 years so far. . . .

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

I have never fallen for someone's personality.

Based off your experience, when you fell for someones personality rather than their looks, did you last?

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