Girl I've been dating is still using the dating app?

[Anonymous]

So I'm an expat in a foreign country, and this girl I met on Bumble in late October met with me several times and a month later we agreed to date each other and pursue something romantic, after I said I liked her.

We still considered it 'early days' so we haven't confirmed exclusivity. I've recently returned here after the holidays and she said she wanted to meet. However, at the same time, she is still using Bumble. I know this not because I was on there, but because a close friend here deliberately matched with her and told me about it.

Would this be worth something overlooking, or is it an issue/reflect something about her or the situation? I felt a bit bothered at first, especially after our past conversation about dating and that I was prepared to stop meeting other girls for her, but I am reflecting for now. From our conversations, I think she might have met up with someone while I was away. Does anyone have any similar stories, or how would you react if you were in the same situation?

[Daniela1982]

If you haven't both agreed to be exclusive then all bets are off for not dating others. Also until then they would probably keep their profile active as she is probably still dating others. No one on a dating site puts all their eggs in one basket. They will continue talking to others until they find their right fit as it would be dumb to take the first thing that rolls in. Go ahead and meet with her. What do you have to lose?

[Asker]

I think this is solid advice actually - thank you :)

[Little_Bumblebee]

That might be a good idea to take up for a conversation. But don't attack her from the beginning.
Maybe just like... ask what's going on? Since your friend matched with her on the app while you were under the understanding you were exclusive and wanted to date each other.

Look at her reaction and how she responds and take it from there.

[Asker]

True, it's better not to be confrontational about it. I think it could be a good idea just to take it casually and lower my own expectations and see how we vibe after a few more dates.

[JasM0]

At best, it means that you’re not her priority or part of a rotation until she sorts out the fellows.


At worst, your an option to meet some of her needs while part of a rotation.


It’s best to ask, set clear expectations and level set them with hers. In the end if you choose to keep it casual and agree to it, you can’t get in your feelings later on. Accountability goes both ways.


Regards!

[Anonymous]

At this point don't over think it. You said it yourself, "early" and you're not exclusively. 2 possible reasons, she's waiting until it really seems like it going somewhere (exclusive), or she's simply forgot about it. And also as someone that just deleted mine, they don't make it easy to find or do either! LOL

[Asker]

Yeah, and I guess with dating apps it encourages people to feel flexible/keep options open. Will probably take this situation more casually myself from now :)

[Heartache0405]

Talk to her about it and if she doesn't delete it, dump her. She's probably looking for some guy to have on the side like majority of women do because she doesn't expect to stay with you in the long term

[PrettyPriya]

The fact she is still using it means she is out there looking. Best sort out with her what your status is together so you can move on.

[Avicenna]

If you aren’t exclusive, you can talk to other people.

[Asker]

Fair point - so you'd say just ignore it and carry on as normal?

[Heartache0405]

If you're actually considering that you're either a fool or completely Naive

[Avicenna]

Unless she said she wouldn’t talk to anyone else, you can’t expect her not to, even if you said you would. But you should also talk to other women.

[Asker]

Yeah agreed, I think the key takeaway is to treat it more casually myself. Appreciate the response anyway :)

[Avicenna]

No problem. If you really like her, ask to go exclusive.

[Wester1967]

Leave. Don't even feel bad about it

[Asker]

You would completely consider this a red flag/lack of integrity then?

[Wester1967]

It's a sign of disrespect for you. Check any woman's dating app matches. It will be in the multiple 100s. She can jack you around at any moment. Respect yourself first. Get on with it. Get it over with. Teach her a fkn lesson. Cut the chord. Let her understand that she lost you. You didn't lose her. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmTY6GOUAQI

[Cringe]

Susㅤ

[Heartache0405]

Boot her out the air lock door and blast her into the cold dark recesses of space

[Anonymous]

MGTOW

look into it