Does staying single equal having a more peaceful life?

[Flower7]

Yes

No

I don’t know.

[OpenClose]

I've been single since, like, 2016. Almost dated here and there. But my relationships are generally on a scale of months rather than years. So yeah, I tend to panic. Especially after turning 30. You get this feeling like you're in a tunnel and can't see the end. You don't know when your next relationship will come, or if it will come, and if you'll be ready after so much time alone.

But then I hear people talk about their relationships. OMG THE DRAMA. Sheesh. "Oh I discovered my baby momma slept with my best friend, and that's when he discovered that I was sleeping with his girlfriend, and now his girlfriend is pregnant and we don't know who the father is" OMG STFU and stop complaining about all of this self-inflicted pain. Why go out of your way to infuse so much drama into something so emotionally charged?

And I hate that feeling like you can open up and be vulnerable, but it's on such a fickle, thin line. She only likes you as long as you comply and don't have much of your own opinion. You have to "make up for" some courtesy you missed like opening a door or paying for dinner. Things I would never expect of her. It's all double standards, and to try to make it simple and straightforward is to "not do enough".

Like, I hate being lonely, but I dated a girl who made me feel more alone. Like I was a villain for being a guy. Like I had to make up for some original sin. Being single is better than that.

[Fireguy17]

It can, less distractions, it will be quiet when you get home, everything will be where you left it, many single people chose not to have kids, so you do not have to deal with that.
You can come and go as you please as well.

[Flower7]

Yes, all great points!

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I would say it depends on the person. For me, yes, however, probably not so for someone who wants companionship. I just don't have the desire for a relationship or sex, so it doesn't bother me and I actually enjoy it. I do find that I get to miss out on relationship drama, divorce/breakups, being betrayed, etc. However, if a relationship is something you really want, I don't think it's something you should give up on. Everything in life comes with potential consequences. You just have to weigh the costs and benefits of it and figure out if it's right for you or not.

[Flower7]

I don’t have much interest in those things either.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

In the case of people like us, I definitely think being single can be peaceful and enjoyable!

[Buntyp]

It sure isn't a life that's troubled by cheating lying sleazebags.

[Flower7]

Very true!!! No worries about dishonest people.

[Desconhecida]

I think peace comes from other things. Not from your dating status.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, for some people, but not for others. Relationship status is not like a bathrobe; one size does not fit all!

[InventorofWarp]

I certainly think it makes one more likely to be successful. At least, it gives you the potential for success.
My brother is engaged and soon to be married and while he's always sort of had a low ambition and level of work ethic and such he's essentially fucked himself into a position where he's not really able to progress any further in his goals for career than he already has. He only does it on the side while working a rather mundane and (in my opinion) kinda lackluster job.
Meanwhile, after the pandemic killed my shitty career I started pursuing my dream career in music and modelling and have excelled in it and am sort of gaining some real traction now with a debut EP soon to record once my first performance circuit is over in another couple months or so.
Ontop of it I'm constantly free to learn new skills such as tattoo artistry, motorcycle and muscle car restoration, SCUBA diving, skating, etc., work out and keep in shape (he's rather fat) and continue developing and improving myself and I'm far more impressive than he is accomplishment-wise as a result. All he really has on me is that he's fucked a ton of girls in his teens and twenties and has a woman whereas I'm a virgin still waiting for my girl and I've hilariously enough found that this usually makes me actually more desirable and charming to most women and more impressive to those who learn of me, including his wife's family.

Being single can be a blessing in disguise.

[lightbulb27]

I suppose the single monks have a peaceful life as do the peaceful nuns. Mother Teresa seemed to have it quite peaceful. Can do well with a single life.

I'm more peaceful. I went from burnout tech job where I was fried to wearing myself out in a manual labor job as single guy, to a much more peaceful and stress free house husband role. She's less stressed as she gets support, we both get affection and enjoy life together. There's things to work through... there's no way around two people going to have to communicate, learn to communicate, and make adjustments. Just for me to let my guard down and listen and hear what she was saying, took months if not years. It's hard... when we are hard headed nuts.

I'm sure oak tree seeds that stay in the ground and never take root have a peaceful life. Who wants to grow tall and stand out in the wind... all that stress..., being blown around, eaten by bugs, lightening strikes? Or would you rather change... and grow to what you were designed and be a host for the birds of the air?

I'm thankful for my fiance, and hope for good seasons of life...
@midnightmoon05

[lightbulb27]

She's my giant seqouia!:)

[lightbulb27]

or maybe Lotus flower...
That more peaceful...

[ohshee]

Yeah I'm single and I mean I have lots of Peace but I'm a peaceful person anyway I don't know if it gives you gives you any more peace I know that you don't have to worry about anybody and at the same time as bad I mean I like to take care of the girls I'm with when I'm not single both sides had their good and bad points I would love to have a partner I really do love to have a friends with benefit had a couple of those and those have been some of the best relationships better relationships in what I had a girlfriend because everything was just so much easier and to be honest with you become closer there's a better Bond because you actually can be yourself so it's a catch-22 no matter how you look at it I kind of miss a relationship pretty much

[Badgirltings]

It depends on your relationship you can definitely have a peaceful life in a committed relationship. Being in a relationship shouldn’t change your happiness or your peace of mind at all. If your not having peace with your self while in a relationship then the relationship is toxic and not healthy at all.

[Flower7]

For some reason, I’ve ONLY had toxic relationships throughout my lifetime. I never had any peace of mind while being involved in them.

[pass_the_celery98]

I'll say yes if someone is immature or has some Disney fairytale perception of a relationship it's best to remain single. There will be little arguments and disagreements in any relationship. It can't be a one way street if one person is trying to dominate the other. I despise men or guys who control their girlfriends or wives, abuse them physically or verbally. At the same time, I can't stand, nor respect women or girls who feel like they have the right to belittle, bitch, nit pick every fibre of guy's life. Like women who tell their husbands how to dress. Listen, if a girl has a problem with a dude wearing a Spiderman t-shirt and some Jordan 1s to the movies, then maybe go for an older man who conducts himself differently. If people aren't compatible then remain single.

[Kathryn19087]

I have to say both yes and no. Yes because you have the flexibility and more free range of motion in terms of what you want to do all the time. If you’re a busy person or going through a lot of things or changes, then it can be challenging to be in a happy relationship with someone you share your life with. I personally just find so much solitude in being single and have so much time and space to reflect and think everything through, think of what I want or don’t want out of life.
I think it’s all about being with the right person who makes you feel peaceful. I have been single for 3 years thanks in part to the pandemic putting a damper on things, but it’s allowed me to think through what I want and grow in so many ways. I’m a much more refined version of myself now and am so happy I took the time to improve and grow. I haven’t found the right person yet but I know he’s out there and I will never give up hope.

[ChrisMaster69]

Not necessarily it greatly depends on the individual.

A close friend of mine is a devout single person, he has a crazy job with helicopters.

When not doing that he’s on trips away.

he drives fast cars, does hand gliding and micro lights etc, even tried BASE jumping.

Our other mutual friend is a long time married pipe n slippers type, we have to shoe horn him out of the house and in fact kidnapped him one time for a weekend of driving n partying.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

It depends on the person.
There are people who look satisfied even when they are living alone. They do everything alone, and yet they also seem to be complete, to be with someone.

And there are people who live among people, do everything with people, interact with people and are yet alone mentally.

There are certainly many more variations of the two cases I just presented.

I saw these two cases in kdrama Itaewon Town.

I would prefer to be in the former one.

[Avicenna]

For a lot of people who can't handle the nuances and occasional trials of a relationship, it's probably a better option, especially with hookups being relatively freely available.

[Flower7]

I agree with everything except the hookup part.

[Avicenna]

Any woman can get a hookup anytime she wants, and most guys can too if they aren’t picky.

[Flower7]

Not everyone is interested in casual sex.

[Avicenna]

I agree, I’m merely saying that those who are and don’t want a relationship don’t have to go without sex

[shaysh87]

no. it also means nobody to care for you, be there for you, give you a hug when you need it the most. When you break your leg and can't pay rent for a year because you can't work, how are you gonna survive? It also means eating at restaurants alone, doing everything alone.

[MrOracle]

And those things become increasingly important to most people as you get older...

[shaysh87]

@MrOracle

Actually from my experience, most folks who stay single without kids into their 40s tend to be ok with being alone. You need to understand the reason why they didn’t prioritize settling down in the first place. Especially for women. If a woman wanted kids , she can always have children

[shaysh87]

Everything is a Choice in life.

[NHI2017]

Id wrather be alone,
than with the wrong person,

if i commit to Sombody, Im not doing it because i fear being alone,

[Flower7]

Great, that’s a very healthy attitude to have

[NHI2017]

I've had enough girlfriends to know,

When the right person comes along, they dont complete your life, they compliment your life.

I live a whole life, i have Friends, A career,
Hobbies, pets, I do me, and have everything i need.

Eventually you meet Sombody else that has the same thing and lives their own life.
They might not need you,

But you know when they stay. They stay by choice, Not because they feel like they have to or have somthing to gain.

2 whole people coming together. And staying together by choice. Is what is healthy.

If your not happy alone first, you never will be happy with anyone else, All you will do is create a problem you dont need.

With the right person you will have peace and it won't feel like work.

[Nomoturtle]

Peaceful? Yes, probably, so long as you don't have any problems with yourself.
But, conflict is a spice of life.

[Flower7]

I HATE conflict!!!

[Gal67]

The spice of life? No it's not.

[Nomoturtle]

@Gal67 When you talk to your friends, you talk about what you do/think/like and what happened to you. The latter is usually conflict of some sort.
Conflict is what you instinctively think is worth telling people, it's what you think is interesting and worth sharing. Something wrong at work, some arsehole in a bar, relationship problems, etc. etc.

[Gal67]

You need a dictionary, because that's not what the word "conflict" means. Having an interesting conversation, even a heated one, isn't "conflict"; it's just an interaction, a peaceful one. Quite often others will actually agree with you about certain things, so how on Earth is this conflict?

[Nomoturtle]

@Gal67 You misunderstood. I meant talking about conflict, not that talking was conflict. Should be obvious from the examples listed.

[Bricealan]

For me, at this point, after a divorce, and the nightmare that was, I think I don't want to repeat that.

[Flower7]

Definitely, bad relationships can leave a lot of traumatic memories behind!

[GingerGuy]

It can be sometimes. Depending on the person/relationship. There's less "drama" for sure (good or bad).

[Flower7]

Yes, some people really hate drama!

[Gagname]

No - staying single DOESN’T equal having a more peaceful life…

Being peaceful is about how you react to your inner & outer worlds and the stressors of life.

Just because you don’t have a partner DOESN’T mean that your life will be more peaceful. If you are single you still will have pressures and face difficulties and disappointments.

PLUS when you are single you will be facing your troubles alone, and will have less assistance to help deal with things, and less “distractions” from the not-so-good stuff in life; and some people will deal with all this ok and some will be better-off, but some (a lot?) will be worse-off when single and missing out on all the positive and joyful things that having another person in your life brings…But…

NOT necessarily.

[Flower7]

It just seems that usually, the partner is the CAUSE of troubles and stressors. That’s how it’s been for me, anyway.

[Gagname]

Sounds like you need to pick different partners.

[sage2021]

Most men just want free sex from women. They like being single too. Only some try to get to know a lady and spend time with her and hold off on sex for a while. Then they might not be single unless they want to be.

[DeeToPlay]

I have found great peace in being single and being attached so just the pure fact is not having someone simply has not enhance my life one iota.

[Flower7]

True, at the end of the day, the peacefulness or lack thereof really comes from inside.

[DeeToPlay]

I couldn't sounded a better myself.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

It's difficult to say since lots of single people are depressed & suicidal.

[Flower7]

True, it probably depends on the person.

[user1516]

Not me, don’t generalize all singles now.

[user1516]

My prayers go out to those who are in pain and suffering , may you all heal ❤️‍🩹.