Under what conditions would you forgive cheating?

Question

If he is truly sorry and truly wants to be only with me.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

I wouldn’t forgive cheating period , there really isn’t an excuse for it , if someone cheats on you then they are best to end that relationship with you immediately , the cheater already proved to themselves that they don’t love and value you , if things are bad in a relationship you sit down with your partner and do your best to compromise with them , if things are still shit after that then you make the decision on whether to stay with them or end it , sadly most people will cheat first before they end it , but I feel if they confess immediately then it isn’t as bad as stringing someone along for their selfish reasons and lie to their face. It’s best to admit that you were wrong instead of acting like nothing happened , How can you honestly look your partner in the face and tell them you love them knowing you cheated on them? That shit is beyond selfish and pathetic. If I m not happy in a relationship I will talk to my partner and try to fix things before I jump into bed with some other girl I was in a marriage that turned sexless , I expressed my feelings to my ex and told her how I was feeling and asked her why she didn’t want to be intimate with me anymore or why she didn’t want to give me affection anymore , she made excuses after excuses to the point I was hurting badly inside cuz I loved her and wanted our marriage to work , to the point I hd to play investigator to find out the bitch was cheating on me , that was my final straw to kick her to the curb , what hurt worse was the fact that she was lying to my face all that time instead of just ending it with me , she basically wanted her cake and wanted to eat it to. So I lose all respect for people that cheat on their partners and go back to them like nothing happened , they are the biggest pieces of shit on this planet , I don’t get into a relationship with someone to be single , if a girl starts treating me like a convenience I will treat her the same , You can only guide someone to love you you can’t force them

InventorofWarp · Accepted Answer

I would never forgive cheating, sorry, that's the end of the relationship for me.
You can't be trusted and you don't care about hurting me. We obviously don't have as close an emotional bond, at least not on your end, if you can cheat on me, that's just absolutely low and a shitty thing to do to someone. I'll never understand why certain guys have such trouble keeping their dicks in their pants, I waited for the woman I love and I had few problems doing it, makes me more valuable to the women I've encountered honestly, I have actual self-respect and standards because I know my own value. Most men can't do half the shit I'm capable of. Hell, I know guys who can't even change a tire or an engine fuse, it's fuckin' pathetic. And those are just basic repair skills, that's not something that helps make a personality better like musical talent or hobbies like tattoos and motorcycles or working out.
That's also something too, it's always the fat guys who fuck everything and cheat on women, kind of ironic.
Exactly why you should know your value and work to improve yourself. I know how high of value I am as a man. And if someone cheated on me, well, that's fine, but odds are pretty good she's probably not gonna be doing better.

Buntyp · Accepted Answer

Never--not any more. But I don't regard a once-off incident as really cheating. Lying about it, however, is cheating, to me.

My only rule is not to be lied to but that seems to be impossible for some people to keep. The only cheating is lying about it. Doing it is something else. As long as people use protection so that I don't get infected with something, I figure that there's no real reason to act like it's automatically the end of the world. If it becomes a habit, that's a different issue, because what's the point of being with someone who's not really there?

It's not that I expect to be informed about every single thing--just not to be lied to, that's all.

hhadeshatesme · Accepted Answer

No conditions. If they truly cared about you they wouldn’t have cheated. My ex swore he’d never do it again, cried, begged, said all that cheesy reassuring b. s he knew i wanted to hear and then turned around to still continue to cheat. Don’t be naive. I know how easy it is to fall for their lies and want desperately for his empty promises to be true cause you aren’t ready to walk away and you make excuses for the cheating cause majority of the relationship was good but trust me it’s not worth it at all.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If he truly wants to be faithful, he will not do something for which he needs to apologize. I will forgive cheating if both Fox and CNN both report that Hell has frozen over.

ManOnFire · Answer

I'm not sure there are any exceptions to this painful crime.

Browneye57 · Answer

You're married right? Otherwise, I'm not sure how you can call it cheating.
What exactly is the covenant of your relationship?

Do YOU want him? Tell us why you want a cheater back. Is he beyond rich and super good looking? A sex guru? What exactly makes him worthy?

You can patch up a relationship, they can actually become stronger. About 15% of marriages that experience infidelity are able to be restored, the rest implode. Interestingly, about 75% of marriages do experience some form of infidelity.

A mended marriage is like a shattered tea-cup - while you can glue it back together to be perfectly serviceable, you will always see the cracks.

Generally the conditions are:
All contact with the third party ceases. Delete all numbers, no further contact.
Make available all passwords and securities so the victim can verify.
And yes, trust but verify. ALWAYS.
A renewed commitment to the relationship. Counseling is highly recommended - generally these are not things couples can fix themselves.

The primary reason people cheat is the perception that something is missing in the main relationship. So while cannot blame the victim of cheating, there is nearly always culpability for failures in the relationship. If the victim is willing to accept some responsibility and also work to improve things, the relationship can actually improve.

The stats aren't very good for this. And 75% of divorces are initiated by the wife. On the other hand, cheating is pretty well split 50-50 by gender, but women are better liars so the stats are skewed to men.

I've been on both sides of this and it's never pretty.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

After her and I had our communications severed for several years (that's what I get for trying to LDR a Chinese woman!), she wound up despairing, and seeing other guys.

At that point, there wasn't much of a relationship to speak of, so I can't technically consider it "cheating. " But one of those other dudes did get her pregnant.

Now, if by some quirk of fate, she wound up in the US, could stay here, wanted to give her and me another try, and the baby daddy was clearly long gone and out of the picture, I'd take her back. If that means I end up adopting the little girl too, so be it.

But unless that sheer miracle occurs... I gotta let her figure out what's best to raise her child. Even if it means her and I never get back together.

The child's future has to matter more now than what she wants - let alone what I want! What's done is done. As much as it hurts to not be with her, her and I have to handle the reality of this like adults.

ReneD13 · Answer

I could forgive the act, but I would still move on. One of the biggest things cheating does is break trust, once that trust is broken it takes a lot of time and a lot of work on both sides to build it back up. It's not impossible to do, but my thought is that if someone is willing to break that trust once, they might be willing to do it again. Especially if they are frustrated that you are not willing to just give them all the trust they had before you found out. To me none of that rebuilding process is worth it if someone cheated. If they couldn't communicate the problems that allegedly led to them being unfaithful that probably won't change in the long term.

Tdieseler · Answer

I love how most of the guys have some condition in which they will forgive, but all the girls are like NO!! NEVER!!! looool... morons
you first of all have to look at the big picture..."cheating" in the first place is such a stupidly thrown around word.
if you mean that he has sex with someone else... then i ask... have YOU been denying him sex? if yes, then its ur fucking fault and forgive him. If not, then he has no reason to step out. Try to find out the reason. if he was tempted, he will be tempted again... pull the cord.

If i got cheated on, I'd forgive if it was a one time thing and they were not in full control. those are my only circumstances. Sadly... never been. it would be interesting.

GingerGuy · Answer

This is a tough one and very much depends on the person and relationship, but also the cheating circumstances and how exactly it happened. Everyone makes mistakes and I can understand having a "weak" moment and possibly giving into temptation (again, depends very much on the circumstances), but on the flip side, you don't put yourself in that situation either where this would be even possible. That's my thought. If I really thought they were truly sorry, and wanted to work on the reason (s) why they cheated and "fixing" it, maybe I would forgive? But maybe never either? I'd have to be in it to know.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

I would never forgive a girl nor would i encourage my friends to. That being said i think its for the best for a woman to forgive her man if he cheats as long as he comes back and continues to fulfill his duties to her.

Womens primary value is sexual fidelity so if she cheats she failed at her primary purpose. Mens primary value is protect and provide so even if he cheats he is still primarily useful.

Its like a car thats dented up still gets you where you need to go, while a car that doesn't run has no useful purpose.

ArchivalMars2 · Answer

Honestly, I'd forgive but I'm not staying under any circumstance. What assurance do I have that I can really trust that my girlfriend at the time won't do it again? I don't think that I can trust someone again after that and I can't have a relationship with somebody I don't trust.

Anonymous · Answer

Only if I cheated too. The only other extremely rare situation is if you two were estranged for work reasons for a very extended amount of time (years).

But if he respected you he wouldn’t of done this. The acid test? He still thinks you might take him back.

If he truly owned up to his bullshit it would sound more like this:

“hey Julie. I cheated and it was wrong. I make zero excuses for it. I fucked up and I accept the consequences: Of course I still love you and I want to be forgiven but I don’t expect it. But I do want you to know that I did was wrong and I own up to it.”

If he sincerely said something remorseful like that but yet accepting its all him then I would pull away from him for a while. Give yourself time to think

Berethor · Answer

Maybe if she cheated with other woman, I don't forgive a cheating with a man.

Star_88 · Answer

He is not 'truly' sorry if he cheated.
I will rather order his execution to take place for betraying me.
We're living creatures with emotions, feelings and limited time, why let some wild animal take advantage of your body, time, heart and other's body for fun?

shaysh87 · Answer

[If he is truly sorry and truly wants to be only with me.]

If a man has to cheat on you, it usually means he's not entirely happy with you. Even if he's truly sorry, it still means he's not fulfilled by the relationship. A perfectly happy man in a happy marriage would typically have no reason to cheat.

JDAC2209199 · Answer

It's not really about the cheating it's the damage it does to the relationship. Trust is easy to break and can literally take months even years to get back but to do that you've both got to work hard to fix it. I don't know if this is any help but it's a fact in my case as I obsess over things.

Daniela1982 · Answer

If a person will cheat on you how can he truly want to be with you? If that were true he would not cheat. And if they cheat once and you take them back they may cheat again figuring that you will take them back again.

sage2021 · Answer

They say a leopard doesn't change their spots. He will do it again. Especially when you give him permission to get away with it the first time. The trust is broken and will never be the same ever! You will always be suspicious until it makes you a crazy person. If he cheats, he is probably a liar too. The two seem to go together. There are no conditions to answer your question.

Jasmine-Darkfire · Answer

I cannot make this decision in advance, it would depend entirely on what kind of cheating.

One thing I do know, is if I find out about it, there is zero chance of forgiveness but if he confesses and it is not something physical, he might have a 20% chance.

Since I expect to give my virginity to him, if he has sex with someone else, we are done forever.

katiesmuff · Answer

If it was found that a bug had crawled into his ear while he was sleeping and ate it's way into the brain causing a condition which removed his ability to reason, but after surgery he returns to normal and can't even remember it happening.
If he was taken prisoner and threatened with death if he didn't fuck the slut skag!

Pleaznhim4me · Answer

Honestly, I probably would not forgive it to the extent of staying with him. However if he suffered mental illness and was off his meds and became hyper sexual. If he agreed to comply with meds and therapy, I would certainly give him a chance to stabilize and redeem himself. But I would be firm on him applying self care with his illness.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

If we instead open it up to an open relationship. With some negotiated conditions ofc.
The problem lies in the expectation, I want trust and honesty. If she feel some other guy/girl is sexy.. well it's natural. Lets have a conversation about it. It don't have to be so much bumhurt.
But if she wants to have a committed 1on1 relationship.. there's got to be trust and if you've cheated.. there's none.

ItsyBitsySpider · Answer

If he truly wanted to be with just you, he wouldn't of cheated in the first place.

If someone cheats and then you forgive them and get back with them, all you are doing is telling them they can get away with it and they'll most likely do it again.

You deserve someone who would never cheat on you, you deserve someone who truly and genuinely only wants you.

Starla1234 · Answer

If they were like dying of cancer and their last dying wish was my forgiveness.. then I’d let them go in peace and give them the forgiveness if they were truly sorry. Dark I know, but that is literally the ONLY circumstance in which I would forgive someone of cheating.

Petermorgan34 · Answer

I would stay if we had kids, but we would be over. As for forgiving it would have to be an unusual circumstance such as what happened to me when I “cheated” according to my ex. (I was super drunk at a party and went to bed alone as the party wound down, and woke up to a girl sucking my…. and I just froze and let it happen out of shock and came. I told my then girlfriend and she said i cheated and dumped me.) I don't blame her, because it was a shitty situation and looked bad from her perspective

VikingWarLord · Answer

I've cheated many times and the ones who found out would typically be mad for awhile and then forgive me. Most of the time it was because I had found a hotter b-tch than they were, and one even told me that she kind of figured I'd cheat with someone better because she knew she wasn't as hot as the b-tches I'd dated and/or fuucked in the past (I showed her pics of those before and during us dating). She ended up allowing me to play around and she still stayed faithful to ONLY me.

Baredog69 · Answer

I spent my whole life saying I would never ever forgive someone who cheated on me. Until it happened, I've said all the same things that everyone probably says. But what I found out is that there is a love that is beyond measure and I think beyond destruction. But there is one thing I can forgive someone a million times but I can only trust themm once.

libsaretards · Answer

Forgiveness and accepting somebody back are two different things. As a Christian I will ALWAYS forgive somebody and pray for their improvement. However, the relationship would be dead. I will not put myself through the torment of trying to force myself to trust someone who broke my trust.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

I would have a very difficult time accepting back someone who cheated on me. I would probably only give them a second chance if there were kids involved. She would have to go out of her way to prove herself to gain my forgiveness, and maybe… someday she could earn my trust back.
Cheating is something I have practically no tolerance for.

bolverk · Answer

None,
There are no conditions in which cheating would be forgiven, all trust has gone.
If an SO cheats it is not a 'mistake' or 'I never meant it to happen' or the classic 'I was drunk' there will always be a slew if excuses.
They cheated because they wanted to cheat and most likely do it again, end of story

Anonymous · Answer

I would not forgive in the sense that I would think it was actually ok, but if it was a one time thing and only physical then I think I can move on.
If he had went as far as getting feelings for someone else and/or had an affair for a longer period, then it would be a huge betrayal of our commitment. But if we had been together for many years and build a life together then I will still probably try to deal with it and see if we can get a trustworthy relationship back.

Throwdownxxx · Answer

Hard to know what the full situation is, but cheating is often done when a person is feeling insecure about themselves and creates chaos to escape the reality of their issues. With that said, I would do a probationary period where that person gets counseling for themselves and probably couples counseling as well. If they follow through, then make a decision.

petitedollbabee · Answer

If he truly wanted to be with me and only me, he would have never cheated in the first place or even been thinking about it. Cheaters don’t deserve my forgiveness.

DizzyDesii · Answer

If some waitress drugged his drink or if someone stabbed him with a drugged needle... Other than that, i dont want to date someone who drinks, especially enough to get drunk. So being drunk is not a good enough excuse for me.

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

I say this as a friend but if he cheated once, then he doesn’t deserve another chance. I mean people who can cheat should just talk to their partner when things feel inadequate.

They have the option of doing that, but they choose not to.

People who cheat lack maturity as adults

Киттйлинк · Answer

Zero.  Stupid people forgive being disrespected by choice. The person who cheats chooses to do that to you, so anyone who forgives you for it is rather stupid. Respect yourself.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I'd forgive him if he was somewhere and a gunman came in and forced him to strip and have sex with someone else, under penalty of execution if he didn't.

Diodoro · Answer

At this stage, as a man I wouldn't be able to overlook physical cheating. I could forgive her as a person and not hold it against her that it happened. But the relationship is over

Mango-man · Answer

Only if it was life-death situation and the cheating was to literally save their life. But I guess then it wouldn't be called cheating then but instead they would be victims of sexual assault.

NotTacocaT6969 · Answer

Never.  If he was really sorry, if he really wanted to be with me, he wouldn’t have cheated.  He’s only sorry that he got caught and can’t continue quietly cheating unchecked.

ananias55 · Answer

None. I had one ex do it and I ghosted her. Never gave her a chance to explain or apology and gosh did she try.  If you betray me like that. You're words mean nothing to me.

HighValue · Answer

It can't be forgiven. Once trust is broken it can never be fully regained. The relationship would never be the same no matter what they said or did.

MickHardin · Answer

If it affected me in a financial way, like if splitting would make me a pauper I would forgive. Remind your hubby he would end up in a travel trailer in his mom's driveway if he didn't let you keep on cheating.

loveslongnails · Answer

I'm directing this at "you" because you said "me" in your post. Wow... you'd forgive a cheater? Very surprising. Why would you believe he's "TRULY" sorry? If he loved only you, why'd he cheat in the first place?

lilaccc · Answer

i will forgive him but that doesn't mean getting back together however i want him to get out of my sight and swear that he will never do that to his next partner.

Elise888888 · Answer

I would only forgive cheating if I was the one who cheated first. Otherwise- I wouldn't be forgiving them ever. The relationship would be over.

anonbrunette99 · Answer

It’s hard to say until in that situation I don’t know if I could forgive if he can do it one he can do it again and again

boggboss · Answer

I can forgive it but it wouldn't mean u would want to be with them as they have shown they are not to be trusted to not cheat

MelonSoda · Answer

I wouldn't. Once you fuck someone else, we're over forever. Gtfo.

Adam1978 · Answer

None, because you can't cheat by accident and being raped isn't cheating. There is no valid defense.

cryscrys1 · Answer

If he has  amnesia  Cancer / tumor and soon to die  My uterus is removed

Dchrls78104 · Answer

If I had a girl who cheated on me, I'd forgive her and forgive it all on this condition: that she stay out of my life forever and be loyal and faithful to the next guy she got involved with.

Twalli · Answer

Depends on how and when I found out. If she told me soon after it happened without prompting I am more likely to forgive her than if she tried to hide it and I found out from someone else or a long time after it happened

Minahh · Answer

I would never forgive cheating under no condition ever. It's the betrayal of trust. As well as keeping something major secret. It's unforgivable for me. How one can live a happy life with cheaters and liars?

EmmaMary · Answer

Cheating is Cheating... There is no conditions. Period.

Koalamate · Answer

If we had kids together. I don't know if I would forgive her  but if she cheated with another woman I wouldn't be as hurt.

MCheetah · Answer

I don't think I could forgive cheating. I really tried to think of a reason and I can't.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

The only condition I can think of is when hell freezes over!

OpenClose · Answer

I mean if it was with a girl, letting me join next time might help smooth things over...

Fireguy17 · Answer

nope, I have had it happen to me twice, and 1 time is all you get. After that I moved on. It sucked, but I got over it.

Oigit · Answer

I wouldn't because for me it would mean sacrificing my self respect.

dustybiker · Answer

A person gives permission to cheat they’ve already left.

Under what conditions would you forgive cheating?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Under what conditions would you forgive cheating?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.