Under what conditions would you forgive cheating?

[marish01]

If he is truly sorry and truly wants to be only with me.

[Finchie40]

I wouldn’t forgive cheating period , there really isn’t an excuse for it , if someone cheats on you then they are best to end that relationship with you immediately , the cheater already proved to themselves that they don’t love and value you , if things are bad in a relationship you sit down with your partner and do your best to compromise with them , if things are still shit after that then you make the decision on whether to stay with them or end it , sadly most people will cheat first before they end it , but I feel if they confess immediately then it isn’t as bad as stringing someone along for their selfish reasons and lie to their face. It’s best to admit that you were wrong instead of acting like nothing happened , How can you honestly look your partner in the face and tell them you love them knowing you cheated on them? That shit is beyond selfish and pathetic. If I m not happy in a relationship I will talk to my partner and try to fix things before I jump into bed with some other girl I was in a marriage that turned sexless , I expressed my feelings to my ex and told her how I was feeling and asked her why she didn’t want to be intimate with me anymore or why she didn’t want to give me affection anymore , she made excuses after excuses to the point I was hurting badly inside cuz I loved her and wanted our marriage to work , to the point I hd to play investigator to find out the bitch was cheating on me , that was my final straw to kick her to the curb , what hurt worse was the fact that she was lying to my face all that time instead of just ending it with me , she basically wanted her cake and wanted to eat it to. So I lose all respect for people that cheat on their partners and go back to them like nothing happened , they are the biggest pieces of shit on this planet , I don’t get into a relationship with someone to be single , if a girl starts treating me like a convenience I will treat her the same , You can only guide someone to love you you can’t force them

[InventorofWarp]

I would never forgive cheating, sorry, that's the end of the relationship for me.
You can't be trusted and you don't care about hurting me. We obviously don't have as close an emotional bond, at least not on your end, if you can cheat on me, that's just absolutely low and a shitty thing to do to someone. I'll never understand why certain guys have such trouble keeping their dicks in their pants, I waited for the woman I love and I had few problems doing it, makes me more valuable to the women I've encountered honestly, I have actual self-respect and standards because I know my own value. Most men can't do half the shit I'm capable of. Hell, I know guys who can't even change a tire or an engine fuse, it's fuckin' pathetic. And those are just basic repair skills, that's not something that helps make a personality better like musical talent or hobbies like tattoos and motorcycles or working out.
That's also something too, it's always the fat guys who fuck everything and cheat on women, kind of ironic.
Exactly why you should know your value and work to improve yourself. I know how high of value I am as a man. And if someone cheated on me, well, that's fine, but odds are pretty good she's probably not gonna be doing better.

[Buntyp]

Never--not any more. But I don't regard a once-off incident as really cheating. Lying about it, however, is cheating, to me.

My only rule is not to be lied to but that seems to be impossible for some people to keep. The only cheating is lying about it. Doing it is something else. As long as people use protection so that I don't get infected with something, I figure that there's no real reason to act like it's automatically the end of the world. If it becomes a habit, that's a different issue, because what's the point of being with someone who's not really there?

It's not that I expect to be informed about every single thing--just not to be lied to, that's all.

[hhadeshatesme]

No conditions. If they truly cared about you they wouldn’t have cheated. My ex swore he’d never do it again, cried, begged, said all that cheesy reassuring b. s he knew i wanted to hear and then turned around to still continue to cheat. Don’t be naive. I know how easy it is to fall for their lies and want desperately for his empty promises to be true cause you aren’t ready to walk away and you make excuses for the cheating cause majority of the relationship was good but trust me it’s not worth it at all.

[OlderAndWiser]

If he truly wants to be faithful, he will not do something for which he needs to apologize. I will forgive cheating if both Fox and CNN both report that Hell has frozen over.

[Jamie05rhs]

👏👏👏

[ManOnFire]

I'm not sure there are any exceptions to this painful crime.

[Browneye57]

You're married right? Otherwise, I'm not sure how you can call it cheating.
What exactly is the covenant of your relationship?

Do YOU want him? Tell us why you want a cheater back. Is he beyond rich and super good looking? A sex guru? What exactly makes him worthy?

You can patch up a relationship, they can actually become stronger. About 15% of marriages that experience infidelity are able to be restored, the rest implode. Interestingly, about 75% of marriages do experience some form of infidelity.

A mended marriage is like a shattered tea-cup - while you can glue it back together to be perfectly serviceable, you will always see the cracks.

Generally the conditions are:
All contact with the third party ceases. Delete all numbers, no further contact.
Make available all passwords and securities so the victim can verify.
And yes, trust but verify. ALWAYS.
A renewed commitment to the relationship. Counseling is highly recommended - generally these are not things couples can fix themselves.

The primary reason people cheat is the perception that something is missing in the main relationship. So while cannot blame the victim of cheating, there is nearly always culpability for failures in the relationship. If the victim is willing to accept some responsibility and also work to improve things, the relationship can actually improve.

The stats aren't very good for this. And 75% of divorces are initiated by the wife. On the other hand, cheating is pretty well split 50-50 by gender, but women are better liars so the stats are skewed to men.

I've been on both sides of this and it's never pretty.

[ObscuredBeyond]

After her and I had our communications severed for several years (that's what I get for trying to LDR a Chinese woman!), she wound up despairing, and seeing other guys.

At that point, there wasn't much of a relationship to speak of, so I can't technically consider it "cheating. " But one of those other dudes did get her pregnant.

Now, if by some quirk of fate, she wound up in the US, could stay here, wanted to give her and me another try, and the baby daddy was clearly long gone and out of the picture, I'd take her back. If that means I end up adopting the little girl too, so be it.

But unless that sheer miracle occurs... I gotta let her figure out what's best to raise her child. Even if it means her and I never get back together.

The child's future has to matter more now than what she wants - let alone what I want! What's done is done. As much as it hurts to not be with her, her and I have to handle the reality of this like adults.

[ReneD13]

I could forgive the act, but I would still move on. One of the biggest things cheating does is break trust, once that trust is broken it takes a lot of time and a lot of work on both sides to build it back up. It's not impossible to do, but my thought is that if someone is willing to break that trust once, they might be willing to do it again. Especially if they are frustrated that you are not willing to just give them all the trust they had before you found out. To me none of that rebuilding process is worth it if someone cheated. If they couldn't communicate the problems that allegedly led to them being unfaithful that probably won't change in the long term.

[Tdieseler]

I love how most of the guys have some condition in which they will forgive, but all the girls are like NO!! NEVER!!! looool... morons
you first of all have to look at the big picture..."cheating" in the first place is such a stupidly thrown around word.
if you mean that he has sex with someone else... then i ask... have YOU been denying him sex? if yes, then its ur fucking fault and forgive him. If not, then he has no reason to step out. Try to find out the reason. if he was tempted, he will be tempted again... pull the cord.

If i got cheated on, I'd forgive if it was a one time thing and they were not in full control. those are my only circumstances. Sadly... never been. it would be interesting.

[ItsyBitsySpider]

Stupid for staying with someone who cheated? Don't think that's the stupid option here.

Maybe men who have been cheated on need to value their worth more and realize they deserve better than someone who has cheated on them.

There is never any reason to cheat. If you're having relationship troubles, such as arguing or lack of sex, try actually communicating with your partner and seeing if you can work it out, if you can't, leave instead of going behind their back and finding someone else to have sex with, be an adult about it.

[Echo_BSN]

Men are going to get it somewhere…. I know a guy whose wife hasn’t slept with him in over 3 years!! I’m surprised he HASN’T cheated

[GingerGuy]

This is a tough one and very much depends on the person and relationship, but also the cheating circumstances and how exactly it happened. Everyone makes mistakes and I can understand having a "weak" moment and possibly giving into temptation (again, depends very much on the circumstances), but on the flip side, you don't put yourself in that situation either where this would be even possible. That's my thought. If I really thought they were truly sorry, and wanted to work on the reason (s) why they cheated and "fixing" it, maybe I would forgive? But maybe never either? I'd have to be in it to know.

[bamesjond0069]

I would never forgive a girl nor would i encourage my friends to. That being said i think its for the best for a woman to forgive her man if he cheats as long as he comes back and continues to fulfill his duties to her.

Womens primary value is sexual fidelity so if she cheats she failed at her primary purpose. Mens primary value is protect and provide so even if he cheats he is still primarily useful.

Its like a car thats dented up still gets you where you need to go, while a car that doesn't run has no useful purpose.

[marish01]

Would you cheat and why not to leave if you don't want monogamy?

[bamesjond0069]

I dont cheat. But i also dont get into monogamous relationships.

[marish01]

I thought you wanted to have a girl who will be only with you?

[bamesjond0069]

Yes. But girls generally dont expect the same in return.

[ArchivalMars2]

Honestly, I'd forgive but I'm not staying under any circumstance. What assurance do I have that I can really trust that my girlfriend at the time won't do it again? I don't think that I can trust someone again after that and I can't have a relationship with somebody I don't trust.

[marish01]

Even is she regretted?

[Anonymous]

Only if I cheated too. The only other extremely rare situation is if you two were estranged for work reasons for a very extended amount of time (years).

But if he respected you he wouldn’t of done this. The acid test? He still thinks you might take him back.

If he truly owned up to his bullshit it would sound more like this:

“hey Julie. I cheated and it was wrong. I make zero excuses for it. I fucked up and I accept the consequences: Of course I still love you and I want to be forgiven but I don’t expect it. But I do want you to know that I did was wrong and I own up to it.”

If he sincerely said something remorseful like that but yet accepting its all him then I would pull away from him for a while. Give yourself time to think

[Berethor]

Maybe if she cheated with other woman, I don't forgive a cheating with a man.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyGirlIsNotASlut

[marish01]

The former is even worss

[Berethor]

What worse?

[marish01]

Cheating with a woman.

[Berethor]

Worse for me or for you? everyone know that girl on girl is hot. :)

tvtropes.org/.../GirlOnGirlIsHot

[marish01]

Not hot at all.

[Berethor]

Then why women like to watch lesbian porn so much? :)

[marish01]

They are them. I feel no arousal or attraction for lesbo stuff.

[marish01]

They watch gay men porn too. Look it is number 2 for women.
But then again I feel no arousal from either.

[Berethor]

True, a woman who is not into lesbo stuff, I don't see that often. :)

[marish01]

I see it very often. I have never met a bisexual woman.
Maybe female bisexuality is often a choice?

[Berethor]

Maybe.

[marish01]

Female bisexuality is glamorized A LOT.
Many women try bisexual acts for men not because they want. They kiss other women IN FRONT OF GUYS. They take pics of them kissing other women on social media.

[Star_88]

He is not 'truly' sorry if he cheated.
I will rather order his execution to take place for betraying me.
We're living creatures with emotions, feelings and limited time, why let some wild animal take advantage of your body, time, heart and other's body for fun?

[shaysh87]

[If he is truly sorry and truly wants to be only with me.]

If a man has to cheat on you, it usually means he's not entirely happy with you. Even if he's truly sorry, it still means he's not fulfilled by the relationship. A perfectly happy man in a happy marriage would typically have no reason to cheat.

[JDAC2209199]

It's not really about the cheating it's the damage it does to the relationship. Trust is easy to break and can literally take months even years to get back but to do that you've both got to work hard to fix it. I don't know if this is any help but it's a fact in my case as I obsess over things.

[Daniela1982]

If a person will cheat on you how can he truly want to be with you? If that were true he would not cheat. And if they cheat once and you take them back they may cheat again figuring that you will take them back again.

[sage2021]

They say a leopard doesn't change their spots. He will do it again. Especially when you give him permission to get away with it the first time. The trust is broken and will never be the same ever! You will always be suspicious until it makes you a crazy person. If he cheats, he is probably a liar too. The two seem to go together. There are no conditions to answer your question.

[Jasmine-Darkfire]

I cannot make this decision in advance, it would depend entirely on what kind of cheating.

One thing I do know, is if I find out about it, there is zero chance of forgiveness but if he confesses and it is not something physical, he might have a 20% chance.

Since I expect to give my virginity to him, if he has sex with someone else, we are done forever.

[katiesmuff]

If it was found that a bug had crawled into his ear while he was sleeping and ate it's way into the brain causing a condition which removed his ability to reason, but after surgery he returns to normal and can't even remember it happening.
If he was taken prisoner and threatened with death if he didn't fuck the slut skag!

[Pleaznhim4me]

Honestly, I probably would not forgive it to the extent of staying with him. However if he suffered mental illness and was off his meds and became hyper sexual. If he agreed to comply with meds and therapy, I would certainly give him a chance to stabilize and redeem himself. But I would be firm on him applying self care with his illness.

[CaptainOverthink]

If we instead open it up to an open relationship. With some negotiated conditions ofc.
The problem lies in the expectation, I want trust and honesty. If she feel some other guy/girl is sexy.. well it's natural. Lets have a conversation about it. It don't have to be so much bumhurt.
But if she wants to have a committed 1on1 relationship.. there's got to be trust and if you've cheated.. there's none.