Why do guys usually get scared away when they find out that a woman wants a commitment?

[Flower7]

[HeartIntensity]

Very open-ended question. If the guy is young he may want to 'see what's out there' first, and if a guy is older he may have had bad relationships and not want to be in one again. Our culture is changing things a lot. Women and men do not behave towards each other the way they used to and we don't have a set of guidelines on how we are supposed to behave. Not saying this culture change is bad, but it has happened pretty fast and I don't think we as a society are replacing old rules with new ones. Without a set of rules/guidelines its like we are all playing different games and trying to win... monopoly, life, mouse trap, candy-land, shoots and ladders... you get the point.

[Phoenix-gb]

We're out there, but in the hook up culture we have now, those that are successful at picking people up, don't see the point in getting tied down to one person, while those that get passed over tend to be the ones who would appreciate a long term relationship.

Basically, if the guy can get a date faster than ordering a pizza, he's probably not going to settle down anytime soon.

[ohshee]

This is a really good question and that is because when a girl and a guy start going out they have this special to school this beautiful bond with each other they are the best of friends everything is going smooth everybody's happy there's no problems it might be two weeks it might be six months in might be a year no problems with the moment a girl brings up she wants a commitment the guy will stop moving stop breathing he will freeze in his tracks it is mine says what the fuck I thought we were in a commitment I thought this is what it's all about right here or happiness everything you mean to tell me there's even more you want more of me LOL like Scotty on the Enterprise Captain I'm giving it all she's got and all of a sudden it's like he's a piece of Frozen glass it just shattered into a thousand pieces he's mine gets lost he's lost and his whole world comes Crashing Down you just pop the whole bubble he thought he was in the life he thought he was doing great Everything Is Beautiful and he was giving it all she's got and when the girl says she wants more he can't get no more he's Tapped Out so he runs

[Flower7]

I don’t understand why that happens.

[ohshee]

I think it scares people Exchange I think when a person is content and giving everything that they have and somebody asked him to give more they don't know how it won't stop and think about it did you quit and walk away from it sometimes in life the best time to do something is when you don't understand it that's what makes us grow as a people I watched it happen all the time everything is all good until the girl wants more she just says it in the wrong way he takes it in the wrong way and he would rather run away from it then grow with it guys need to understand that no matter what everyday things change and you have to be able to change with it if you can't you're going to be left behind and the girl will move on

[Kaneki05]

Gahhh commitment run!
That just depends on their level of maturity. I ain't afraid of it nor I am afraid to just say honestly when I know I don't want that with her, it's a hard thing to just be the bad guy who causes the brake up but i've been through stuff and learned yeah that's the way always.
Tho I am usually not the one to end it. Commit to what is best for you and at least be honest about it. If I was afraid of it I would express that.

I think the worst thing about commitment it's self is the possibility of time been wasted imagine been with someone for 10 years just for that to not work out? Imagine been a single parent? Imagine been cheated on? Etc. Women often are more vocal about it but men get concerns just alike. Then women tend to jump in the hope mind set quicker where as guys tend to stay more grounded thinking about it more i would say but tbf that's more of just the personality of said person than a sex thing but I don't know women seem to put more faith in the idea everything will work out than the guy does at least 60% of the time.

[magiusX26]

in my experiences, most women start seeking to lock us down for a commitment too soon. i personally have had some try as early as tye very first time we talk to each other. more often though they start around date 5 to 12/ 1 to 4 months (no matter how intensive communications have been). add to that plenty also give a gold diggery vibe beforehand by asking about the finances too soon yet we are aware that this can sometimes be a false redflag so we dont all always completely put an end to things right then and there. also keep in mind, a large portion of us that are gonna be more commitment oriented often have been in a few (3 or more) previous relationships with a fair chance at least one of those he tried being commited to her only to get hurt real bad so is way more guarded/cautious about it (gets worse the more times it happens too) .

a little more on "how intensive communications have been". that 5 to 12 dates could be over any span of time with very little actual communication taking place and there again can be very little real communication in that 1 to 4 months. by that i mean things like although you both talk to each other regularly, it may not be about things that actually let each other really get to know much of anything of substance about yourselves. the more that you actually get to know each other within a given time frame the more intensive the communications actually are.

there also is the fact some guys just are not looking to be in a commitment at all and some that define commitment differently. add to that how some women go about trying to seek commitment (us guys too) can sometimes come across the wrong way.

[DaveJord]

Because guys can honestly see themselves being with almost any type of average to better than average looking women in some way shape or form. But it takes more than just looks to get a guy to want to commit to a monogamous relationship.

I have dated women, more or less, because she was available and there... but I knew I was not really into her and once she started hinting at something more... I knew right away that I have to do the right thing and let her know where I am at with the relationship.

And honestly I have had plenty of women do the same to me, so its not just guys all the time. Women do this to... but for people like me that can move on without much difficultly and find someone else its not as personal. Other people have a hard time finding anyone at all... and they want to move too fast or don't really understand what it takes to be good at dating and not push expectations to early or to hard.

[DonkeyDan]

I don't know if scared is the right terminology for many guys, and it all depends on how quickly talk of commitment is brought up, as some other have said here. If we've got to know the girl well its a conversation that can happen. If we've barely got to know them we have absolutely no idea if its someone we want to commit to, and talk of commitment can turn us off from the situation.
So for the last few years I've not been looking for any commitment, but I've always been honest and upfront about it. If I've met girls that are looking for commitment then she would have been wasting her time with me, and she'd be better off looking elsewhere. Even the freinds with benefits situation I'm in at the moment, we've discussed future commitment and have come to an agreement, because neither of us felt pressured into a situation we didn't want to be in or feel comfortable with.

[EmyyWolf]

Because they don’t want a commitment. Duhh. Why else would they get scared.

This specially goes for really attractive men who can get different types and flavors of PZZZY. They can’t handle just enjoying one.

The rest of regular looking men, they have no choice but to stay with one. But trust me they still will purchase workers. Which makes them just as equally as dogs as the attractive ones. That’s why I only engage with the supper hot ones, because the regular simps are dogs anywayyyy.

[Intothevoid666]

Because dating culture today is heavily biased against men and they see little reason to commit unless the woman is more attractive than then or something. Women today tend to shoot above their league. The law is on woman’s side such as with divorce court, child court, abortion laws, domestic abuse court. Many Women today have a deep resentment towards men. Women today have many previous sexual partners. There just isn’t any good reason to commit to women today unless it’s like a perfect match then maybe. What’s in it for guys today? I can have friendship with my other friends, and I can get sex from other women too. Like I just don’t see the point to committing to women today.

[FilmGuy93]

Assuming the connection was actually there, it generally comes from a lack of stability in our personal lives. We literally do not have the ability to commit to a woman beyond what we've already done.

But far more often it's because the woman isn't relationship material for us.

[Vegasrunner]

Women control sex men control relationships. A man gives up wayyyyyy more in a committed relationship, so they have to he much more cautious, honestly the only reason a man would commit to one woman is if that's the only woman he could get.

[Flower7]

Sad…

[Vegasrunner]

That's the world we live in. You just have to make the most of it

[Flower7]

I make the most of it by not dating.

[Vegasrunner]

You can only make the best choice for you. I enjoy women and try to have as many positive relationships as possible.

[RealMarek]

Because in a culture in which sex without commitment is prevalent, some men feel little incentive to commit before they want to settle down, if they ever feel that way.

[Flower7]

Very true. The current times probably have a lot to do with it!

[Still-alive]

a lot of guys don't think that far ahead and so when you want to commit suddenly they have no choice but you imagine it... and they have to ask themselves "do i really want to be tied down with this person right now in my life"

its a full commitment that a lot of guys just don't thin about much.

not saying its good or bad mind you. but there is an explanation for you

[TheBootyChest]

I would NEVER get scared away. I am dying for one of those.

Most of the other times they guy is probably more focused on himself, and not interested in giving of himself to her. He just wants the "benefits" without the hard work.

[dustybiker]

Most people aren’t a good fit. Who wants to commit when you haven’t found all you are looking for in that one person. When you are ticking more boxes than anyone else has for someone that’s when they fall for you.

[Staximus]

It's a lifestyle change and people are naturally resistant to change, and other reasons. They are getting cold feet, like people that freak out before their own wedding.

[Flower7]

I just wonder why guys seem more afraid if it than women do.

[ChiTown33]

Guys have considerable more to lose. I'm not against commitment per se. But experience has taught me if a woman hasn't committed to a guy by 25 she's incapable of it. It's scary to put all you've earned throughout your life at risk with a woman who may just change her mind 6 months to a couple years. Later. I've always said "I'm only doing this once" so excuse me if I want to be sure it's the real deal.

[JayParris]

Because if what you're after is commitment for commitment's sake, then there's a good chance you don't see us as the person we are, but as a means to an end. You just want to be able to tell people you're in a committed relationship/marriage for its social value.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

1. They wanna keep their options open and play the field.
2. The only want sex, like that of friends with benefits, not an emotional connection.
3. They're simply not ready for commitments.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

2. They* only want sex...

[clampfan101]

Unfortunately not everyone wants a committed relationship.
I however have wanted one my whole life.

[Flower7]

Have you ever been in one?

[clampfan101]

The Sad Love Story that is My Life ↗

[Dchrls78104]

Some are little boys who can't handle commitment in the first place. Some are frightened of committing to a woman who later shows herself to be unworthy of the time, attention, or affections invested in the commitment.

[spartan55]

Because the woman usually wants it much sooner. Or, she ignores what the guy says about not being in a relationship.

[SkipPerk]

I wish I could find some commitment-oriented women.