Do girls intentionally choose to be miserable in dating even if they have the most power in it?

[Anonymous]

I have seen this countless times throughout the years. One girl I know was raped by a guy but she fell for him later, one I know dating a guy who's already into two relationships publically, one girl gets beaten by his boyfriend but yet she's with him, someday ago I was seeing one couple at a restaurant. The girl wanted one dish but the guy insisted that she has to eat what he picked for him. Married women with careers end up doing all the housework too. Most women love complaining about relationships than being happy with them as they love drama and a dynamic relationship. There's a fear that everything will be good with a good guy and it will be the same for years and they will get bored (as stated by a girl). Very very few choose good guys in a relationship, even if they do it's for the last.
Somehow many older women still follow the same.

yes, I have seen it in real life

otherwise (state)

[Xoxocutekitty]

Often in these 'unhealthy' relationships, women have been with their partner for a significant amount of time and are less willing to throw in towel because they understand that their expectations have grown from when they met them. (Ex. Met at 17 or 23 etc). Women who stay are making a 'calculated guess' that their partner can grow with them, even if it's obvious from the outside he won't.

When we're young we rarely prioritize stability over 'experience' or adventure. What you expect from life at 21 (cold beer, hot pizza, mattress on the floor) is different than 25 (bedframe, plants, mutual hobbies), and 30 (marriage, kids, travel destinations).

It's pretty common to find someone in a dead-end relationship for 5 years, ring in a year later with someone new. It's easier to work with a 'new' dynamic (someone open to change) than someone who still lives in the past and can't plan for the future.

Of course, leaving a bad relationship is hard. For some, just as hard as leaving a bad job. Even though you know its bad, you recognize that you are getting a routine paycheck and you know what sort of hell you're in.

[Asker]

Guys who are different or already mature in their twenties actually have a hard time in dating. Most women claim they are more mature than guys but it's not, as already said by you. Women just grow up physically more than guys.
As I have heard this same from other girls I know,"serious guys are only after the thirties".

[shaysh87]

@asker

Most guys in their 20s do not have a hard time dating. In fact 20-30s is the best dating times of a man’s life. This is the time when all his female friends are single , no kids no baggage, this is also the period where social lives are the best,

A man eventually starts seeing dating get increasingly difficult in his late 30s or 40s when all the females in their social circles are taken, married or with kids.

[shaysh87]

The only guys who claim that only guys in their 30s date tend to be the unattractive guys with poor social skills, likely absolutely no female friends , don’t attend bars or clubs , unpopular , uncharismatic and boring. The type of guys who stays home Ans plays video games all the time Ans never interacts with women.

Typically girls 18-20s tend to date guys that are in their 20s.

[Asker]

Most women don't want to date their age , at least some years older. Women in 20s gladly date guys in 30s or late 20s. Now a days you can date easily out of your social circle. .

[shaysh87]

@asker
Most 18 yr old girls are dating guys 20-24.
Most 20 yr old girls are dating 24 yr old guys.
Most 25 yr old women are dating guys 26-32.

Most girls date guys a few years older, not 10 years older

[shaysh87]

@asker

By the time you’re 38-40 years old Ans you’re still expecting a 25 yr old. That’s not likely to happen. Because most 25 yr olds are likely friends with people close to their own age , not some guy nearing his 40s.

[shaysh87]

@asker

Ans likely by the time you’re 40, you’re not nearly as good looking as you were when you were 30.

[Asker]

@shaysh87 Yes true but women consider wealth as an indicator of a high quality guy. 40 year old men can get 20 year old women as women want them. Even in my little circle I know three girls who dated/hooked up with 20 year older guys than them. Plus women put too much effort on her looks , most young men don't , if they are poor. It's okay for broke women to use parents money to take care of herself , but not for men. As men age they get money and start to look after themselves too.

[Xoxocutekitty]

A young men's inability to prioritize his own self care is not the burden of any women he wishes to date. Self care had never needed money, ($1 sheet masks, $2 bath bomb, $4 wine).

Now I get that men self care differently, but you don't need handouts of money. Chop some wood, get into running, volunteer. The ironic part is that men who are able to self care are more stable and more able to provide peace and security to a partner than a man chasing the highs and lows of chasing wealth in a competitive field.

Men, find you peace, find your center, and you will attract a woman who will do the same AND add financially to your household income.

[Asker]

Yes as men value beauty in women, women value money and status in a man. Guys who are born in a poor background and not exceptional looking but hardworking always struggle to get anyone. Plus men tend to do more outside jobs in hazardous environments than women. Those men if they get older with more money easily date broke women who just look pretty. Somehow that's how our society is. Even the girl I took care of when she was sick, fed her homecooked meals for months, even gave my portions of food left me and went with a richer and more good-looking older guy. I was in university and broke that's all had. I have accepted, that's how the world works.

[shaysh87]

@Asker

According to data, average age of marriage is 0-10 years apart.

en.wikipedia.org/.../Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conroy-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.
Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage

[shaysh87]

@Asker

According to pew research, most common age gap between spouses is around 0-5 years

www.pewresearch.org/.../

Across religions and regions, women are younger than their male partners

Muslims have the widest spousal age gap (6.6 years between men and their wives or partners), followed by Hindus (5.6 years), Christians (3.8), Buddhists (2.9), the religiously unaffiliated (2.3) and Jews (2.1).

[shaysh87]

@Asker

there is really no data that suggests that its common for 20 yr old girls to date 40 yr old men. Its just that you're trying to turn your fantasy into a reality.

[jennifer_bloom]

If you look at Nicki Minaj, she goes out of her way to date abusive, violent, bad tempered, and law breaking men, because she is attracted to bad boys. Gabby Petito too, she dated an abusive guy just because he was good looking and rich. I have a cousin in a relationship with a guy who treats her like trash because he has money and good looks when she is so rich, she could date a cashier and still eat steak every day.

[Asker]

Forget about celebs, regular women do it all the time. Pick any girl who asks for her dating history, you will see at least 1-2 bad guys. Like the girl said, women love drama and good guys don't bring drama and they feel like their relationship is static.

[Asker]

not " who asks" just , ask

[Phoenix-gb]

Does seem to be a bit of a quandary between what is said and what is done. Women around the world are fighting to feel safer, but then will turn down a safe relationship with someone who won't end up hurting them (Physically or Emotionally) for one with a decent chance they will.

Likely tied to this search for chemistry or "spark" that's been traced to the same neural response that your body uses to warn you of a potentially dangerous situation.

[jshm2]

Kiddo. If either party is miserable in a relationship, then it's not a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Seems like it. Here is how it usually goes:

• Girls never asking men out
• They do nothing
• Some men approach them. But mostly only those, who think of women as the next sex toy and these men don't care about being rejected because they'll just approach the next girl they'll walk past by and do the same thing
• Girl goes on a date with that type of guy
• And another one
• That guy may go silent for a while (he talks to other girls like her)
• That guy shows up again
• Weird or stupid jokes
• Escalation all the way to go home or book a hotel
• Sex happens
• He leaves or ghosts her
• Girl feels used
• Another guy just like him approaches her
• Repeat the cycle
• And in the end this girl will start saying things like "all men are the same" or "men are pigs" or that we can't not cheat. Or where all the good men are. Or that all the good men are taken and all that's left are guys like she one's she has slept with.

[poof_22]

Stockholm syndrome, bad childhood, vulnerability and fear. Abusers will make themselves the source of not only mistreatment but comfort as well and that develops an addicting high-low feeling for the victim. They make you depend on them for validation, gaslight and beat you enough where you become their own empty vessel that they can manipulate and change to their likings. Beware, It always starts slow and sweet.

[annabananna]

No one chooses to wake up and say I want to be miserable. It’s more complicated than that. Emotions can drive bad decisions and take over logic. Having a bad father or mother can make you think you aren’t worthy of something better…. Etc etc.


I do know a lot of women who have great relationships though so that’s def not all women.

[Jasooty]

When they’re used to being treated like shit, they’ll think that’s a normal way to be treated

[noohair]

When you are miserable you have given up everything.

[msc545]

Victimhood is power. Women gain power by pretending to be victims.

[Chthou95]

Yup. Women have the most power in dating true. So if a woman is struggling a lot, it's her fault

[Anonymous]

It doesn't seem intentional to me although I see your point.

[Anonymous]

Kinda. Women love complaining.

[EaterPeter]

Yes.

[deltyum]

grils crayz