He’s really starting to act like his father. He’s really abusive and has anger issues. Even though he hates him so much he’s starting to be like him. by the way him and his mother divorced a few years ago. Anyways yesterday he messed with a random dude in our school for no reason. I thought he was just having a bad day. After school i went back home and around 10 pm he called me and said that he’s really sorry. I thought he’s kidding or something so didn't care that much. The other day we met outside of the school and i saw his hand like this. I said wtf how did that happen? He said he was really mad about that dude from school and because he couldnt get his anger out he had to punch the fucking MIRROR. Like im so worried about him thats literally a behavior that his dad does. he's nothing like his dad but this thing really scared me. How can i help him?
It's an issue that you can't help him with. It's something he needs professional help with. Also you need to think about yourself. He is clearly having anger issues and that does make his actions in predictable to a high degree. The fact that he is going after random people does mean that everyone does have a target on them for his anger issues. Best thing you can do is pull back and protect yourself.
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1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
he’s really not that aggressive tho. Smt happened to him recently but I don't know what it is
He needs professional help if he can get it. If he continues like this he may end up getting arrested. in my opinion the person he’s really angry with is his father. He’s had to repress that anger for a long time and it’s coming out inappropriately. It might help if he had something he could do to release that energy, like a heavy punching bag. I’m just pulling all this out of my ass, relating it t my feelings at that age. My situation was different, I wasn’t abused so much as neglected by my father.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Sure he’s not on something? I know two people who used to act this way. Turnd out one of them was on drugs (nobody knew) and the other on anabolic stereoids (nobody knew this either, despite living with him). If not then he just needs to seek professional help for anger management. And this is not on you to fix, there is really nothing you can do other than advice he gets help.
get him a counselor, watch his body language to see if anything is wrong, be cautious, be patient. Sometimes people need to be alone or around someone all the time in order to talk it out (depends on the person)(please note that I am not a professional on the subject, but I would recommend getting professional help)
He can only help himself at the end of the day, you could ask him to see a therapist, but if he declines, then it's up to you to decide if you want to be with someone who is overly aggressive.. Not to mention leaving future children with him, even a 1% chance is too much then.
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Asker
+1 y
he s usually not an aggressive person tho. His dad is. But like I don't know why’d he do this. I asked him to seek help but he said he doesn't need to🤦🏼♀️
When you are raised around aggression, you take those traits as your own. I would give him an ultimatum. If something like this happens again: Visit a therapist asap, no discussion, no ifs or buts.
I would say he has emotional issues and there is not really you can do to help him if he does not see the problem for himself and start taking proactive and productive measures... but in the end at you young age i would not get too invested in this relationship. There plenty other well adjusted guys in the world... and o not allow your self to fall into the pity trap over this guys past. Because honestly it has nothing to do with you , and its not he type of future you should want for yourself.
First off, you're going to have to be honest with yourself about what kind of person he is. You say that he's becoming just like his dad and then you say he's nothing like him. He may be more the product of his dad's bad programming then you care to admit to yourself. Be very careful that he doesn't take out his anger on you.
Wanting to help people is very noble. But there comes a point where it's not your responsibility to help and where staying to help may put you in harms way.
If I were you I'd tell this dude he needs to seek therapy and that you can't handle this level of anger issues and that you are going to leave him.
Not sure why so many people, uh women, are condemning him Ignorance is bliss No one is allowed to condemn you when you go on a slut rampage Like this guy is some potential serial killer or whatever The human brain is a complex organ Anger starts with the amygdala stimulating the hypothalamus Any number of things could be the root cause Could be an excess of spinal fluid that over stimulates this part of the brain
You can’t help him, he can only help himself by getting therapy. Trust me, I’ve been in relationships with people who had mental problems whether it was anger, depression, etc. you feel like there’s all this pressure to help them because you’re their partner and you want to be there for them, but trying to help someone who has issues like that is mentally exhausting and you’ll end up draining yourself. He needs to speak to a professional about this
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
i been trying to get myself back in therapy but the place i was going i been having blowouts with them over getting my therapist back and i have to look for a new one next week if i can't get anything resolved on Monday with my psych doctor. stuff like that comes from a lot of stress at least for me it does. to much stress built up over time being in a very toxic enviornment for years on end when you feel trapped and no way out of your living situation. finding a therapist who isn't judgmental or critical or criticize or take things personally when it doesn't involve them is becoming really hard to find especially ones who don't victim blame and ones who actually keep their appointments and show up on time without excuses or making you listen to their problems
I knew guys like that who would get into fights at every party we went to. It was weird because I worked at a jail years later and I would see guys I used to know in the cells with bloody hands like in your photo. He's gonna have to help himself or probably end up in jail like most people with anger issues.
