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Good question. The truth is you will get no higher than your children's father. On the positive side, it’s not hard to get a husband but it’s hard for women to be wives. My advice to you would be not to over value yourself. You’re almost 40 with 3 kids. Also never believe these statements most women will lie on here and say. Here’s a couple, “Men will forgive their promiscuous past. Men aspire and love being Stepfathers. The men that you friendzone will always be there for you as a back up plan after you’ve been pumped and dumped by the Chads. Men want partnerships and don’t want to be the leaders of their relationships. That men will accept you as you are regardless of your age, weight or parental situation. Men don’t have standards. Men care about a women’s income and education. Having a degree and a high paying job will increase a woman’s SMV (Sexual Market Place Value) That being fat is the same as being curvy. Men will always find you attractive at any age or size even when you’ve hit the wall”. It’s going to be harder trying to date as a single mother but it is possible. You will have to settle for less. Why should a man who’s thorough about his business and his values date a women that has any problems? Why should he not get the best? If that’s you in your profile picture , I understand now why your husband is divorcing you. The sad reality is you’re probably going to be 60 and still single. Wish you luck though.
Wow harsh. Thanks. I see you have no pictures up
Go to Google and type sexy men, my photos will pop up. I’m not here to baby you and make you feel better. 59% mho is not a coincidence
All good thanks. What would you suggest I do. Open to suggestions. Definitely don't want to be 60 and still single..
I mean I'm not a dog I get that I am not a model either. But u haven't seen my husband. He could be hydiuous. Lol
Please don't listen to this "advice" don't devalue yourself and don't settle. This dude sounds like he's trying to groom women for emotionally, and potentially physically, abusive relationships.
@starlamay85 Hey, I’m glad you’re seeking out advice. 1st, never listen to a nice guy who has a 14% mho and is living in fantasy land. Sure, you know it’s easy to get a beta like @AydenHazor you will run into these guys who only wants sex because they don’t get it so often and are socially awkward. (AVOID THEM) Guys like this would take my text out of context about submissiveness, only looking at it from a guy p. o. v which tells us he has low experience with women. It’s not a dirty word. It's a gift of love and as a women, when you give submission to the person you’re dating or boyfriend, it is a treasure to a good Christian man. I want the best for you and your kids, I promise! I might of sound harsh but it would be selfish of you if your kids can’t live there life because they have to take care of there single mother when she’s up in age because she was insufferable and too stubborn driving men away but I don’t see that in you.
You’re open minded and I don’t want you to be looked at as a low value women. It’s sad because you have low value women posting in here as well as men. You have women who choose shitty men and than blame all men. Allow your future boyfriend/husband who you choose to your liking and will date to lead and be masculine. Masculine doesn’t mean him putting his hands on you, being manipulative or any of the dumb shit that beta was talking about. Women can be masculine but they won’t be able to keep a alpha because you can’t have 2 in a relationship. Alpha males can’t be feminine because you wouldn’t want us. I’m not saying you have to be submissive all the time but majority of it, you know. A lot of women here think like children. Women overall (not you) seem to hear words like "obedience" and "cooperation," an in their minds all they hear is "control." That to be obedient to a man or cooperative with a man, to not get their each and every way is to be controlled by a man. To be monogamous, is to be "controlled." Not true. Of course I could give you a list besides what I’ve already discussed to increase your chances but that’s the most important quality.
With my husband, soon to be ex-husband I was his submissive, and I loved it. No abuse. Many people miss under stand sub Dom roles. It was what the both of us wanted. A alpha male is a must. Non fem is a must. But since the divorce has started I have gone back to school. I need to be able to take care of myself and my children and not depend on a man because I am a very picky woman. Yes I said it picky. He just need to be sure of him self and confident. He needs to be able to take charge and handle his shit. So he can take charge.
Let's lay down the ground work:
-You are recently divorced
-You have 3 kids
-You are mid-to-late 30s
-You have been married for "almost 20 years"
From what I can gather:
Assuming your listed age is correct, you got hitched either in your late teens or early 20s, and your perspective of the dating pool is relative to the early-to-mid 2000s.
The majority of men in your dating demographic are either already married, not interested and just looking for sex, or divorced. If we assume "dating" is 2 years long average to develop a stable relationship, then the earliest you'd get involved again in an "official" capacity is around 40. I don't know how big the pool is for men who do want to be married at that age, if it hasn't already occurred, but it's probably very small and getting smaller each year. The pool of men who want to get married and are willing to be a surrogate father to 3 children (because I don't know how you're going to be with a man, without at some point involving your kids) is even smaller than that.
Realistically, it's brutal for people 10 years your junior. Unless you get very lucky and find a "diamond in the rough", I wouldn't even bother. Focus on your kids.
You're just a bundle of fun, aren't you?
You will have more freedom to explore new hobbies and people which can be rewarding and exciting. You will come across some crummy people because they are out there just don’t let them get you down. Maybe. Try to make some friends in your Situation but try to stay away from the bitter ones.
Best part about being single is it’s peaceful, you have a lot of freedom, you have time to discover your true self. I love being single even though I’m dating.
The cons
There’s a lot of users, losers, manipulates, and time wasters out there.
Opinion
38Opinion
My wife and I were both previously married. We met online. There's no reason this should be scary. Just meet men in a public place (coffee is good) and find out who they are before going any further. You don't have to disclose anything besides a mobile number, and you can get a number from Google that will forward to your phone.
Best part is you can be yourself without having to worry about someone else's expectations. The worst part is missing the physical and emotional intimacy that comes with a relationship.
As a 36 year old single father, my best advice would be to take a little while to date yourself. Before looking for a partner, treat yourself, take yourself out on dates, get to know yourself for who you are as a person and a woman, but just as a wife and a mom, and fall in love with yourself. Build quality friendships that lift you up, invest in you and carry some of the emotional intimacy that you would otherwise seek in a relationship (emotional intimacy is healthy in friendships but all too often lacking). Once you've fallen in love with yourself, know that your worth is not determined by your relationships or suicidal status, and truly appreciate yourself for who you are, then, if you still want to, give someone else the chance to fall in love with you.
So like you I was 36 and two children. My best advice from then until now is the dating world is very very different. There are so many variants of relationships that you may encounter and not be prepared for. Hold on to your heart, treat people with kindness and do not jump into anything.
As women we have a sixth sense and this has always served me well, listen to it and most of all have fun!
Thank you
The best part is everyone wants to fuck, it's very easy to get laid now.
The worst part is that it's way harder to have even a half decent relationship. And personally, I'm way more jealous of people in relationships when I fuck a lot than I am of people who fuck a lot when I'm in a relationship.
I can drive to the Local Airport and get into my Cessna 182 and leave for a few days. I can also buy a ticket to almost anywhere and go. I value my freedom. The downside is I have no children. I have several friends with benefits so I am not alone most of the time. Life is good!
at least your experienced temporary love. I still havnt experienced any love at all... Fml.. I do love that I have a lot of freedom to do what I want, when I want. I can relax, take time off from people. But then I get lonely, have no one to talk to at home. No one to care for or be cared for.
I had it for 20yrs. And I don't think I lost it. That's the problem, we still love each other he just grew apart and don't love me the same way anymore. We we always be best friends and yes it's gonna be very hard for me and maybe him as well, I don't know. He won't tell me much, he don't like to talk about his feelings. All he does talk about is how fucked up it is that all these guys keep blowing up my phone since the divorce started and word got out. On Valentine's day I was in class and a construction worker that works their every day came in and told the office lady that he wanted to bring these roses to the cute blonde who comes here every Monday and Wednesday. So she walked him to my class and he gave me a dozen red roses. I was speachless. I never even noticed him before. But I will be watching for him now. lol. it's the little things like that that matter to us.
So what you're saying is... as soon as my crush divorces... bring her tons of flowers.
@starlamay85
horror stories in what way?
when you are single you make all your own choices so just choose well at least you can experience different things again which is great
In the news about woman meet men online and being raped, beat, or abducted. And then the less worrisome ones, but not ok, like meeting someone thinking he's single because that's what he said then finding out he has a wife house and 2.1 kids.. or say I fall for someone and then he just drops me, I'm a what if kinda woman. I try not to be but with 3 kids depending on me I kinda have to be.
And yes I am excited to experience different and new things but also scared shitless.
@starlamay85
wouldn't worry the media always concentrate on the worst ones plus i think there are plenty of safe ways to meet up with someone and stay safe. if your going to meet up in a busy bar in a busy shopping center in day time for a date you can easily get away safe. make sure u chat lots before meeting and also use a safe email and tel no not your main one if your really worried.
as for the married ones depends what your after at your stage I would not worry about long term stuff and just go out for hookups and fun u done the married bit now go and enjoy single life a bit :D
dm me if you fancy
@starlamay85
can u follow me too and dm me?
It says I can't dm
ok try accepting my follow again
cool got ya u need to refresh to see new messages though
Don't rush into anything, 36 with children, is tough. Wish I had better direction. than this. Being single and looking for a mate is tough under any conditions.
Worst part holidays with out a partner best part is the freedom to do or go where you want any time but I dont mind dating it's just so many weird girls out there I had 1 older female I dint know that was very pretty come up to me after good i flirtation an say i like to peg you i was like what the hell they put in her coffee at the coffee shop we were in
I have been single now for 10 years and the best part about being single is:
•Don't have to answer to anyone
•Can do whatever you please
•Can go wherever you want
•You save LOTS of money
•No stress and no drama
⬇️
The worst part of being single:
•No sex on a regular basis
•Lonely nights
•Cold bed
Its really only scary because its a change out of your current comfort zone. The upsides or downsides are really just how you view it. Being single you can focus on yourself in finding new hobbies to try out and figure out new likes, being married its a bit more challenging to have the drive to do that but I guess in exchange you have someone you can be comfortable around during your settling down times.
Having private time, worrying about your own needs, dont have to worry about keeping someone else happy, doing what you want, eating what you want, don't have to share your money. The Downsides are, being alone, feeling unloved, no intimacy, no cuddles, no one to help you when you're depressed, dealing with the immense struggles of the current dating society.
Best part: people don't generally bother you about being single.
Worst part: everyone is so traumatized by their prior entanglements that the thought of getting close to someone new is more depressing than exciting.
I get that
Wow welcome back to being single I’ve been single this whole time it’s not bad
Thanks. I guess never thought I'd be here but I am. Last time I was single I was 16.. slot has changed over the last 20 years..
Why divorce what happened sounds dumb if you ask me
I keep asking him and he has no answer for me
What is the best part of being single these days?
*Doing what you want, when you want.
What is the worst part of being single these days?
*Lack of sexual intimacy.
Well I was going to say the best part is just having yourself to worry about, though if you have 3 kids I guess that doesn't apply.
The worst part is not having anyone to bounce off, bodies or ideas.
The best part of being single is having no one to nag you and no one to worry about except yourself. The worst part is that you can get lonely, especially as you get older.
Best part, you live life on your own terms.
Worst part, friends giving you looks of pity when you're the only single person and constantly try to set you up.
At 36 as a single mom divorcee, if you're still cute, every. Single. Man. Will. Try. To. Fuck. You. None. Will. Want. To. Commit.
So if you're into the casual sex then good. If not, you're screwed.
You said 'I was his submissive, and I loved it. No abuse. '
Then why the divorce if you loved it and there was no abuse?
he wants the divorce not me. he filled not me. i am only giving him what he wants and dont think for one second it dont come at a cost because it surely does. i want nothing more than to be his for the rest of my life and he know that. i have made that very clear to him.
What were the reasons he gave for wanting it?
He just keeps saying I know but I don't. Or he says he don't know or it's what is best. I've gave him everything I have to give. I don't know what else I could possibly do or give him that I have not. So I gave him what he wanted I will sign the papers when D-day comes and I will not fight him.
If that were me, I would pray for supernatural intervention through God, or seed using scripture while asking God for help. I've seen miracles occur through this and through prayer was how I even discovered it's existence. Sometimes people are under the influence of things that wish to destroy love and take away families, but so many of us are not taught how to defend or rebuke such things. Most don't even believe they exist.
This coming from someone that never used to believe in any of this. Before you sign on that dotted line, make sure it is actually your husband making this decision, and not something else!
I don't know. I've never been anything else. I guess it's more freedom to do what you want. There isn't someone that you have to think about when planning
Best Part:
You don’t have to spend money on anyone.
Worst: Not having a partner to hang out with, get dressed up for, go on dates with or be able to cuddle with.
Don't know lol I haven't been single I'm 4 years 😅
well know your not alone many woman and men do have to deal with it, it is hard and i guess just take your time dating and meeting others and it can be okay in time, make sure you trust them enough to be around your kids.
To be able to do everything you like. And be happy..
Worst one... Maybe you will be... lonely... But you have your kids. So maybe they can be with you until they grown up... And then you will end up being alone again.
The best part of being single is freedom. The worst part of being single is loneliness.
For me at least the freedom, I'm in a relationship right now and i feel like in a cage. I long so much to be single again
Best-peace and quiet
Worse-not having someone to pay your bills
Thank you
You're welcome
No nagging b##ch! I sleep without a b##ch waking me 100 times.
Ok. I see your point. But what do u miss about having someone
The bigger issue is I live in South Asia. Is a very anti social place here. I would’ve been okay with having tons of male friends. I wanna move to Mexico so I can date normal girls or being a social butterfly.
I can't really answer because I've only ever been single and so I have no idea what relationships are like.
no drama when you are single and you are free
but you sometimes you miss the touch of a women
or for women
the touch of a man
Yikes, getting married that young is never a good idea.
...
The best part you don't have worry about all the drama and headache's worst part there is none
Best part is having a real doll and a place to yourself. Worst part is they don't have automatic bj dolls yet
Walking around the house Naked. Not having to close the bathroom door.
Was it a mutual divorce?
Amicable. Meaning we are agreeable on everything.
Not fighting
Freedom Vs intimacy with your favourite person.
See I like intamacy and cuddling so this is gonna really suck.
Lol I feel, fam. We gotta stay vigilant, though. Better times are ahead 💪
the no strings life Cost and Money come out first
Looking great, city state country?
Dying forgotten and alone.
Oh yes it's horrible u might meet men like me
No drama.. everything is mine no Sharing,
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