Which would be a worse reason to be constantly rejected: looks or personality?

[Flower7]

Your looks.

Your personality.

[WonderBell99]

You can change your appearance by following a good skincare routine, hitting the gym, finding a new haircut that suits you better and by dressing well.. even a person’s personality can be changed a tad bit, but feel down you cannot change who they truly are. They’d have to work on it. Usually, when someone rejects you, they never tell you why. It can either be that your personality doesn’t match with theirs or they do not find you attractive.

People who refuse to work on themselves both physically and mentally get rejected constantly in my opinion. You can be a jerk but you can also try to be polite towards people. People change constantly, that is why the person who was right for you once may not be right for you anymore, and the person who wasn’t right for you once may be right for you now. Heck, even I’ve gone from being overtly sensitive

[WonderBell99]

Continuation:
Heck, even I’ve gone from being overly sensitive to a tad bolder in 3 years… but deep down, I KNOW that I’m still the same sensitive girl I once was. I’ve just hardened myself and I’m a little more extroverted now.

It would be very hurtful if someone rejected me because my personality was “bad”. I’ve been told that I have a good personality, but at the same time, I know that I need to work on some things.

[Genie23]

I'd say personality, as you can work on making yourself better by working out, changing your hairstyle, wearing kind of clothes that flatters your body type and all, but if he would say that I've got a very awful personality, I'd be deeply hurt as that's just who I am. I will work hard to change few things, but not many things because that's simply not possible.

[OpenClose]

Personally, I'd rather be rejected for my looks. Looks aren't a fundamental part of who I am.

But I've faced forms of rejection for not being sexually assertive enough. Like, I've known and dated girls who have been sexually assaulted or stalked. So like trying to push women's boundaries just doesn't feel right to me. Being viewed as less desirable because I'm more concerned about your boundaries, and being rejected in favor of a guy who groped you but you happened to be into it. That shit stings. Like "If I didn't care as much about women's feelings of safety, I would have a better love life" is a pretty confusing and frustrating place to be.

I totally understand I just need to balance it out. I just wish women would approach more so its a little more forgiving of men who try to err on you feeling safe.

[sattii2607]

I would say looks, but unfortunately that's what attracts first and I have had such an experience many a time leaving me still in self doubt of whether anyone would love me unconditionally despite being married to a loving wife for 10 years. It's also partially due to the fact ours was an arranged marriage, but the world I come from, at least till our generation was badly obsessed with fair skin.
The impact was so much so that I used to binge eat to the point that my BMI hit 39. I was so sure I wouldn't be picked anyway 🙄😏

[sattii2607]

Thanks a lot for the MHO

[Phoenix-gb]

I'd say looks, personality can be worked on, but looks can't always be fixed. That being said, what is worse is being constantly rejected yet having everyone tell you it's neither your looks or personality, leaving you constantly wondering what the hell is wrong with you.

[TheorionMage]

With determination and forethought 'personality' CAN be modified and assumed... into a 'persona'.
With practice that 'persona' becomes second nature. Espionage operatives do this as a life skill.
MUCH can be accomplished via deep hypnosis or powerful motivations like the politicians use.

One's 'looks' can only be modified a certain degree (that's 'glamoury', plastic Surgery and the role of a primo Stylist)

[corasthots]

Appearance you can change around pretty easily, plastic surgery if you’re serious (as we all know). Getting rejected because of personality would really suck though. I wouldn’t say I’m unattractive, I get by with how I look and present myself, but my personality is where it’s at if we’re being honest.

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, I'm one of those amorphous people, so I can go from being a 6 on a bad day to being an 8 on a good day. So I'm not really worried about my looks. I'm fully confident in that department. All it takes is a little effort.

But being rejected for my personality does kind of suck, because I know that social skills are my weak spot and I do kind of feel bad about not being better in that.

[GingerGuy]

People don't normally tell you why they've rejected you directly. And there's no need to.

[Flower7]

Well I’ve noticed that on dating sites, I get lots of matches, but once we start trying to have a conversation, they lose interest very quickly. So I feel like the problem must be with my personality.

[GingerGuy]

This is normal. I get this all the time also. I love the people that just say "hey" and NOTHING else. It's like, why did you even bother? lol They haven't even talked to me enough to know my personality or anything. You can't take it personally at all, especially online. I know that's hard, but it's just the way people are today on dating sites.

[reyesdavina]

I think maybe looks. If someone doesn't like me for how i act that's whatever some people just won't like you. However if I know someone likes being around me but Im just not pretty enough for them. I found that more annoying and rude.

[exitseven]

I said looks but both can be tough. If you are not very attractive you might never get a chance at a relationship. If your personality is foul you would get rejected after you have invested some time into the relationship and it might hurt more.

[CallmeTheKnight]

If your looks suck hard and your personality sucks, that'll be pretty bad.

If your personality is bad overall, that means there is nothing fascinating about you. Why would someone want to spend time with you?
You could be mean... you could be boring.. you could be negative... you could be manipulative and a liar...
Who would want you for that? Who would want you for being yourself..

[Staximus]

Everybody wasn't meant for everybody. Just be a good person and the right people will like you. Go out and interact with people in person, you can't get to know them by sending messages to each other. I could tell you I'm captain fucking Nemo and I have a fancy submarine. Sending messages is not a realistic measure of attraction if you've never met them in person. Not everybody is a great writer.

[DonkeyDan]

I'd feel it would be personality, you can't help your looks but you can change the way you act and interact with people.

[pizzalovershouse]

Personality cuz if you don't have a good one then your hated by all

[Flower7]

Yes, that’s very true!

[pizzalovershouse]

Yep👍

[DaveToo]

I say they are equally off-putting. It's a shame, because someone that is ugly may be an outstanding conversationalist or downright HOT in the bedroom.

[driven159]

your personality is who you are looks you can change a little

[Flower7]

True, I hadn’t thought about it like that.

[ChiTown33]

It really doesn't matter. Because when people reject you they almost never tell you why. And even if you asked why there's a 99% likelihood that they're just going to lie to you anyhow. Lol, so there's really no point in asking.

[Flower7]

I can kinda tell because I’m never able to get a second date with people. They ask me out because they like how I look, but I’m never able to hold their interest to make them want to see me again. So that leads me to think my personality or lack thereof must be the problem.

[Shy_Steve]

Personality is Worse, Which is pretty much is what's happening to me now because I have been told before I'm attractive so I just get ignored because I'm Shy.

[Zedonary]

Personality either means you haven't found the right fit, or you simply need to change a few things that are usually obvious. Looks means you're genetically ugly and there's no help for that, lol

[Zedonary]

Also, I think it's ridiculous to say you can change looks. I mean, sure, you can hit the gym (duh). But it's really all genetics. People feel you on an unconcious level, based of pheromones. You can fool the social media, but not the people irl. No surgery could ever help. You're either pretty, or you're not (or, 90% of the time, sth in between). Personality can be changed more easily, but why would you change yourself from core to fit someone? I don't know, I'm a bit surprised by the answers to this poll, cause this seemed kinda obvious to me, but eh, the more you know...

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You can't change physical looks unless you do plastic surgery even that won't help much. You can certainly work on your personality though.

[FamilyGuy2020]

I would tend to think Personality. LOOKS I can Adjust too lol

[WonderingManII]

I think people reject me cause of my personality.

[Flower7]

What’s wrong with your personality?

[WonderingManII]

I have ADHD. Something in my brain is slow, and I'm awkward. People don't like that I guess.

[Cubus]

Looks. If you're a bitch then it's a very valid reason to be rejected.

[Flower7]

I’m not talking about being a bitch. More like a person not being interesting enough to hold anyone’s attention.

[Vegasrunner]

I would think personality because it's easier to change than looks

[NathanDavis]

personality would have been worse

[InventorofWarp]

Looks. At least I can change my personality.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Ones personality for sure

[Avicenna]

Personality, because you can control it

[Flower7]

So you’re saying an unlikeable personality would be a worse issue to have?

[Avicenna]

Yes. Who wants to be around someone with a bad personality? And they aren’t doing anything about it if they keep getting rejected for it.

[InferiorElegy]

My ugly face is why I've been only ever rejected.

[TheBootyChest]

Personality.

[Wise4myage]

I say looks.

[TrillXHippy]

Looks for me

[Hulk30]

it's true