My girlfriend seeks validation?

[Anonymous]

So my girlfriend and I just had an argument last night. Basically started because a couple days ago she didn’t like my response when asked how she looked. From what I remember she asked me if a jacket she was wearing at the gym looked good on her because she felt bloated and fat. I said it’s fine, you look good and continued to workout. This isn’t the first time or will it be the last that she asks me the same question. Well today we argued about it. She says when she asks me stuff like that it’s because she wants me to hype her up more. To say things like whoa babe you’re a baddie. You’re so hot. She even flat out said I need your validation to make me feel good about myself. That’s so crazy to me. I understand sometimes women need to be reassured on some stuff sometimes but to actually say you need my validation to feel good about yourself? I just don’t understand how she doesn’t see how hot she is. Especially when her inbox on social is nothing but thirsty men trying to get at her, she gets half a thousand likes on her IG posts. Maybe I just don’t understand her because I’m a very confident person. Of course when I get compliments I feel good about myself as well but to me that’s only a plus. I don’t need it even though it is something I do appreciate and enjoy. Am I wrong for not being able to understand her or is there something else I’m missing?

[Wonderer89]

It kind of seems like you don’t want to give her any kind of positive reenforcement because she’s getting it elsewhere… but as her partner it would mean more coming from you. Just because she’s attractive (and presumably knows it at a high level) doesn’t mean it’s not nice to hear that her spouse still finds her so.

Our partners should be our biggest champions - if her needs where excessive and it’s like she had to be told multiple times a day then sure, I could see being tired of that and look for other ways to make her feel that instead of the verbal enforcement. But to half assed say “yep you look fine” isn’t exactly a glowing endorsement

[In_Trance]

you're wrong