


I saw it on a YouTube video, explaining how trying to get a girl at a club almost never works, and that other places are better for cold approaches. So I'm asking out of curiosity, not for personal knowledge.
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Bars and nightclubs were the most successful for me. Especially the bar often finds us already sitting close together, so initiating a conversation seems perfectly natural. In nightclubs, I'd dance in the center of the dance floor so that I could talk to pretty girls around me. I've only had success outside of bars and nightclubs getting dates via cold approaching only a few times, like cashiers at stores.
That said, I think the best way to find dates is not via a cold approach. I think that's the best way to find friends nowadays. So I switched my game to just making friends through a cold approach (including my first set in bars, but then they invited me to parties, picnics, camping, and I'd make new friends, and those new friends would invite me places, and so forth) and then I found my best share of women by building up a social circle of friends including my wife who I met at a picnic (friend of a friend).
I used to try cold approaches though all over the place after breaking up with my first girlfriend in uni who I didn't have to cold approach since we were classmates. I tried on the street, on the train, in the grocery store, department store, almost everywhere except the gym (I feel a bit intrusive cold approaching a woman in a gym). It almost never worked though. I might have hit on close to a thousand women that way but I only got maybe 5 phone numbers out of it and only one real girlfriend.
Meanwhile in nightclubs and bars, I got to where I had maybe a 75% chance of being able to make out with a girl and get a date each time I went on a night out.
I'm thinking it's probably different in Japan than it is in the West. Women can be pretty b*tchy when you try to talk to them in public. I've been successful with cold approaches before, but that's with MAXIMUM game going on (which is mentally exhausting); like smiling, cracking corny jokes, complimenting them, and pretending to be uber-confident. But I've failed way more times than succeeded.
The US always seemed way tougher to me that way including in the bars and clubs. I think that a friends-first mindset can help a lot. It changes our whole kind of vibe even subconsciously if that's what we're genuinely okay to make, then far more girls are open to being cold approached seeing a guy who is chatting and interested in befriending everyone. They don't see any sexual threat. But then they might have some girlfriends of their own to whom they can introduce you and vouch for you, and now we have connections to work with that are potentially far better than the types who might be more receptive to cold approaching when the intention is for a date.
... it's like a backdoor approach as opposed to assaulting the front gates head-on. But to do it well I think we have to genuinely be interested in just befriending both guys and girls, and also introduce the ones we befriend to each other (including the girls we befriend to the guys we've befriended). Yet that starts to recreate the sort of community setting we had in school, for example, where cold approaching is no longer necessary by hanging out with these expanding friend groups.
All of the above are bad places. Just trying in general no matter where you are isn’t going to do a guy any good unless he already knows the women in question is already interested. Otherwise it’s a risky gamble no matter where you are.
- Dating apps don’t work. That’s why I use one because I know they don’t work.
- The Bar/Pub and Nightclubs are a bad idea because you’ll most likely be drunk and so would she. Leading to a whole lot of bad things.
- School/college? Everybody should be focusing on their studies and not on trying to find a date.
- Work is the absolute worst place because attempts would be considered sexual harassment if you’re a man. If you’re a woman your coworkers would be trying to tempt the man into dating her even if he isn’t interested.
- Social groups are probably best out of all of these choices because you’re in a group but still risky none the less.
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Women never message back. If they do it's always just "hey" and the conversation never goes anywhere. On the one I use women are the only ones who can send the first message if they Match with someone and the only thing the men can do is extend their time once before they dissapear. And of course women don't message first. Even on their profiles they ask the men to message them first when that's not how the app even works. I just use it to see who's in the area
Bumble is among the worst dating apps of all of them. That and Coffee Meets Bagel. Even when I used dating apps, I avoided the "feminist" ones like Bumble.
I was just curious why you used them if they don't work. If I was you, I'd take the opportunity to be brazen and honest and write whatever I wanted to them, no matter how rude. If they aren't going to write you back anyway, you have no reason to mince words or hold back. Ironically, when I did this, more women were impressed by it than outright offended. It's sad but true: The worse you treat women, the more they love you for it. I don't treat women badly though; it was just on Tinder because I was qutting it.
If you're going in cold, I'd say dating app and Bar or Pub. I'm more likely to be there to mingle than any of the others But make sure who she's with. If she is with her guy at the table, she isn't interested in you at the bar while getting drinks.
If I'm at a club or concert, it's usually with friends to party, not to get picked up.
Other places, school / work / gym, probably best to avoid the cold approaches. Unless I've seen you a lot, or we have some form of connection, I'm not there to meet people. I've got things to do and don't need the distractions.
Social groups are the good, already common interests and friends there, and some connection. But it can get tricky if things go sour.
Hypothetically, I would rather be approached at a bar or a club, where I am most likely going there TO be approached. Whereas, a supermarket, a job, or the gym, I wouldn’t want to be approached.
Most girls usually do go with friends, I’m not sure about with their partners. I know that the girls who go with friends are also probably single too.
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a lot of males say coffee shops. I've seen some cute females going in and out of them. gym is good because you can see people repeatedly, and build upon something. it's always better to be able to build upon rather than pull something out of thin air. pulling something out of thin air is what you're going to have to do on the street. you do see a lot of cute females on the street, but you dont have much time to act. usually you have to act within seconds, and if you dont, then that chance is gone. believe it or not, sometimes you might even see females in cars. like for example, if she's at a red light, and you're a pedestrian. you can approach her. i know a male, emilio, who does this. parking lots are good too because we live in a driving society, and it's the gateway to wherever you're going. outside of concerts are good too. notice i said outside. the idea is, you dont want to pay good money to go into a concert when you're going to run into the same females outside the concert. sporting events are also good. now also apply the concert theory. dont pay to go into the event. stand outside the event, and approach females. again, they are going to be the same females that you would see inside. go for the big sporting events. nhl, nba, nfl, mlb. the bigger, the better. popular stores like aritizia, jmclaughlin tend to have lots of attractive females going in and out. ikea is another one i can think of. with these kinds of stores, you can go inside, and act like you're buying furniture because it's free to get in. if you live in a big city, then public transport is actually quite a good option. buses, bus stops, trains, are all fair game. i used to know a pua who would take a ferry for 1hr several times a week, and he never made a move. he was also a college student but never approached any of his classmates. i always thought he was stupid for that. instead, he chose to go into parks, and malls to run up to females who werent interested in him at all. needless to say, he never scored. the smartest thing to do is capitalize on situations that you're already in. so for example, if you're already taking the bus for an hr each day, or if you already go to college, then make use of that. that's always going to be more convenient and smart than taking time aside specifically to go to a mall to approach. the thing with college is, females are always going to be less defensive if they know you are also a student. if you're looking at some random male walking up to random females on urban streets, then you know theyre going to have their guard up, especially compared to the college situation. even when you're both commuting, that at least gives you something in common as opposed to a random guy in a park. a lot of city guys like to do approaches in parks, but I've never seen them get anywhere. even the males who were comfortable with talking, they would get lots of phone numbers, but never any calls back. remember, just because you get a number doesn't mean she likes you. lots of females will give numbers out just to get rid of the male. another thing i noticed in regards to searching for females is, the harder you try to look for one, the harder it is for you to find one. females almost always never show up when you expect them to. the ones who you have the best chance with are going to show up when you just happen to be shopping for bread, or riding on the train home from work. a lot of times, it's even the cashier of a restraunt you frequent. males just need to be more aware of their surroundings.
At this point the only (yes) answer from women is at university or work which as a man is litteraly the WORST places!!
Never, I mean under no circumstances, should a man date at work or someone from the same university!!
Lise your job, screw up your career , get title nine kangaroo court witch hunt Injustice, no thanks!
I don't actually know what cold or warm means in regards to approaching people. But I guess online?
I don't really ever approach women to hit on them though, but online dating a thing.
I don't go to gyms, concerts, clubs, or bars/pubs , so I can't recommend those, I work from home, and I've never really struck up a conversation while shopping.
So yeah online is the only one I've had any experience with.
Oh.
Hitting on strangers is always a bad idea.
Especially if you don’t use a big enough club.
@VanillaSalt lol
im a believer in fate. you can go to a college today, find an attractive woman, and she'll be into you. heck, if she's into you, you won't even have to try very hard. you're thinking to yourself college is a good spot, but you can go to the same spot for the next 2 years, every single day, and not find a single person
im not a huge fan of bars, or clubs. i dont think that you'll find datable women there. that seems like a place where you will find shallow, and destructive women. shopping centers are good but bear in mind, you're going to find a lot of materialistic women. and with college, you're going to find more of a middle class. if you're looking for down to earth, even college may not be the place. the thing with women is, a lot of the attractive ones are from bourgeois backgrounds who tend not to be very nice. the ones from the working class are less attractive but better people. if you're British, then it seems like railway stations would be a good place to do your approach
NEVER approach a female, they will simply accuse you of some false victim sex crime for saying hi.
Women have made it so no guy outside the 1% of guys who are the “chads” can ever approach without being shamed, attacked, or falsely accused of “unwanted advancements”
They aren’t worth the shit they create.
There has been posters put up on Transport urging people to call the Police if men stare at them. They say it is sexual harassment... then you have on here men asking where the best place is to approach women... it is also an arrestable offense to approach women in some areas too.
Lol I feel for the woman that calls police on me for staring… I’m probably staring into space and if I get arrested for that ima give em a reason to arrest me and she’ll never forget.
You guys must either be from the UK or Canada. And yeah, I cause see Cuck Trudeau doing this. And I totally get the concerns you guys have. But in the US (and other English speaking countries), just talking to a woman isn't illegal yet. The burden of proof is still on the accuser. Although I can understand how you can get "canceled" at work or a university for it (even in America), it's not that "risky" elsewhere. Again, unless this is one of those 1984-esque laws that you always hear from the UK.
I live in South Korea, but most young Korean women seem to be shallow or gold diggers, but they won't accuse you of sexual harassment for saying Hi to them like in England.
The majority of the MeToo bullshit was American and the majority of the claims were for bullshit like “unwanted advancements”
Men’s lives and careers were destroyed for simply showing interest in women who saw the victim bandwagon as a means to get attention.
I know that it is not uncommon, but do you really believe 100% of every young woman would do that?
@KlinkyCoder No. And nowhere did I say 100% would. But so many do, that taking the risk is not worth the risk.
It’s not that all women are untrustworthy; It’s that trusting them can end terribly even when innocent. It’s not a gamble for happiness or not it’s happiness or ostracization.
@LogicBomber
As someone who actually WAS falsely accused in university in 2015 and spent three years in a lawsuit against the school I'd still rather take the risk of saying Hi to a woman than live in fear from a bunch of feminist cunts.
And that's what it is: You guys ARE living in fear. If you've done nothing wrong, then the truth will set you free. And if someone tries to f*ck you over anyway, then that's what lawyers are for. Then again, I'm not from the UK or Toronto or any other super-far-left sh*thole where feminists keep men living in fear. I understand the concerns, but I don't think we're at the point where some POS feminist can ruin your life because you looked at her the wrong way in public (this coming from someone who literally had this happen in university; I didn't let it stop me from living life.)
I was falsely accused… that being said I avoided dealing with this shit for a reason…
@VanillaSalt I was falsely accused as well and so were most men I know. Be it assault or abuse.
Yet women believe it never happens to men.
Then I hope you guys lawyered up and rained down hellfire on the cunts who accused you. The rich white POS female who accused me is still someone I'd punch in the face if I could get away with it. But like I said, you can't live in fear from some 110 pound female giving you the scarlet letter of "R."
Lol I was in jr high I had no fucking idea how to handle this situation. Luckily for me it was before this shit got out of control. I didn’t have to deal with what most men would deal with. That being said I will never give a woman that kind of power over me again.
What you say don’t matter cheetah. If your not recording every interaction your leaving yourself to risk… Hell most states have laws requiring someone to be arrested for domestic disputes and it will always be the man. I’ve seen it and it’s not worth the risk.
@mcheetah Didn't you say before that you don't try to go see women as much?
@KlinkyCoder
I don't. I'm just saying for men who ARE still interested in women, they shouldn't let some feminist sh*tbags let them live their lives in fear. I think it's cowardly and the risks stated are over-exaggerated. But if they're not, I'd become a terrorist in any country that basically tried to outlaw sex and romance. "You can get arrested for looking at a woman the wrong way." Yeah, I'd cut the nuts off of anyone who tried to enforce that law. And I'm not even joking; I'd literally castrate them.
@mcheetah you’d die… there are things worth dying for but other people are not one of them. If you don’t see value in what’s offered why would you fight for it? I’m far removed from society. I work eat sleep repeat 5-6 days a week and during the weekends go out with family and friends. If the world ended now as long as my family and job were left alone I wouldn’t morn it. I don’t morn the end of a society that labels me as “unworthy” with both its words and actions. I don’t morn the end of family because MY family isn’t ending. I don’t morn the suffering of others who don’t think anything of my suffering.
Pepe have lost the ability to connect and with it the ability to care for others. Well more like a reason to… What do ya do when the world has gone insane and you’re the only sane person left?
@VanillaSalt
Live life in fear, or die for a worthy cause. The age old dilemma. I'm definitely of the latter, since I don't have a family and like you implied, we're living in a dystopia anyway. As long as my death meant something and changed society in some small way, I don't mind dying tomorrow. Or even today.
I on the other hand refuse to die for a cause that don’t value me or my contribution. Also the choices arnt just one or the other. I most certainly am not living in fear. I do what I want when I have time. Fuck working 60+ hrs a week but whatever gotta work.
Besides that this is punishment for bad behavior. The women that cause all these issues may be the direct problem but the women that stay silent are also to blame. If a woman can’t see past this charade of this false society she’s not worthy of my devotion. Either that or she needs to change my mind. Either way it’s going to be on her. I won’t fight for something I don’t value.
Anyplace that doesn't involve Tinder, Facebook, Cupid or anything online, I prefer the face to face approach and have eye contact with the person I speak to, you can't do that on an app like Tinder. But if I had to choose, it would be pubs/bars, nightclubs, diners/restaurants, gym or anyplace that's a safe space for meeting new folks.
I will never understand these questions. Times have changed and approaching holds new risks to your freedom, reputation, career and life. If you think any woman is worth that then I guess good luck...
This is truth.
You don’t need to be arrested. Just being accused is enough to cost you a career and turn your life upside down.
You can be arrested just for looking at a woman on the underground. There are posters up and a new initiative encouraging people to call the Police if a man looking at them makes them feel uncomfortable. It's classed as sexual harassment.
And you are incorrect, there are some areas where you can be arrested for talking to a woman. In other words, whatever is considered as harassment. Russian Roulette...
It has nothing to do with cowardliness. It is commonsense. There is not a woman alive that is worth those potential problems.
I was approached by a woman a few months ago, and again yesterday. Maybe that's why...
@Truthatanycost
That sounds like some UK BS. That place is completely backwards nowadays. I wouldn't even tolerate living in a place where you can be accused of "eye rape" or some sh*t. Especially ironic considering all the literal rapes and grooming they let go on over there with Muslim refugees. While they're arresting men for "sexually harassing women by looking at them" (according to you). Assuming you are from the UK, Id get out of that sh*thole ASAP.
It's starting to happen in France as well.
Too many rejections, I'm done with approaches unless there is definite interest shown on their side (which never happens)
University or pub I’d say. Night club just implies you’re looking for a hook up IMHO.
Bookstore.
Good to see that they read, and if they're into the same genre, you can talk about it.
If you want to get out of the conversation though, can say you just wanted to quickly pop in to buy a book.
In this day and age I wouldn’t do any cold approaches. Far too much risk. Try to meet someone through friends and family. Maybe some singles groups. Online is an option, but only as a last resort.
Any location is good, it depends on the circumstances and if you are able to recognise who would be open to that.
One bad example. I was waiting for the bus while I was on the phone talking. Obviously busy. This guy kept circling around me and trying to chat.
Dude, can't you see I'm talking to someone?
"Any location is good, it depends on the circumstances"
Maybe learn to read?
Any location if you are able to recognise who is open.
That's the problem, though.
Men aren't goddamn mind-readers and women never give any clues as to when they're "open."
Then these same way whine on social media that "no one (attractive) ever flirts with them or hits on them," while if a man doesn't meet her subjective and totally random views on what she considers "attractive," then he's considered an inconvenience and a bother.
If you're going to be that much of an a-hole to a guy just trying to get to know you better, who doesn't have the mind-reading skills to know when a woman is "open" to being flirted on, let alone if she'll find you "attractive enough" by her own subjective standards, then maybe just wear a t-shirt that tells all men to "F*ck off and go away" to save us some time from dealing with an angry bit.. ter woman.
Come on, I'm on the phone, visibly busy talking with someone.
How difficult is it to at least wait for the other person to finish the conversation? Or would you go up to someone to disturb their conversation? You don't have to be a mind reader to see that's not going to work.
From my side, if a guy is that inept socially, we are not looking for each other.
I met a guy in the gym, I struggled with one machine, he came to help, I met guys in bars, smiling at them (showing I'm open sitting on my own) I talked to guys in shops, they asked my help. I even talked to guys in the cinema, after the movie when I was coming out from the screen. I was alone and visibly happy about the movie I saw.
And I met someone in the moshpit. So, yeah, location does not matter and you don't need to be a mind reader to see who could potentially be open to a quick chat. But normally these guys who complain "I'm not a mind reader, are just aholes themselves, so set on talking to that woman =getting what they want, that they don't care about the other person.
I don't mean specifically on the phone. A woman could be watching a cloud in the sky and say you inconvenienced her and broke her concentration. That is the point I was making. There is no clear "don't bother me" or "I'm single, please flirt with me" signals women give off. ... At all! Literally none! Women can dress in the sluttiest clothing in the world and then get mad when men notice her cleavage and ass all out and call them "perverts" for it. You can't make this sh*t up!
You can't call men "socially inept" when the first message you gave here on GAG, in written form, even gave mixed f*cking messages. "Come talk to me anytime, unless I don't want you to or not in the right mood for it, but you're supposed to magically know that like it's common sense, even though I don't give off any body language or signals to imply otherwise."
Like I said: Just buy the "don't ever f*cking talk to me" T-shirt and wear it all the time in public, and call it a day.
And "[those guys] are just aholes themselves, so set on talking to that woman equals getting what they want, that they don't care about the other person."
Even THIS makes no goddamn sense. So a guy is an a-hole if he flirts with a woman, hoping it'll be successful, but that he'll also flirt what a woman who he doesn't care about. Are you implying men who can't read women's ever-changing and illogical minds are only ever the "pump-and-dump" types? Cause that's foolish if so.
Bars and night clubs are the best place, because people actually go there to be approached.
I'd never approach someone at the gym or the supermarket, and I'd never mess with someone from work.
Um, real, high-value men DO NOT approach women at any of those places.
What is the difference between cold and warm approaching?
Anyway, cold approaching is more likely to get some people labeled a creep than warm. There is more of a liability there.
I'd be fine being approached in any of those situations
I dont think there's a bad location. Reality is women are a numbers game and when you have an opportunity to approach you should just do it. I've pulled chicks from each of these places in my life.
I’ve approached women at lots of different places, but never a bar or pub
The street corner. With a good amount of cash I'd say that would be your highest odds. 🤣
Pubs and Clubs are the most practical and easiest to hook up at.
Starbucks (especially one in a mall) , pink berry and gas stations
Supermarket, I wouldn't mind the supermarket
Really? That’s one of the last places I would.
@DarkWinterNights I'm usually not really in a rush or 'busy' busy, that's why
I found my wife on the beach.
University and Online, mostly online
Clubs are way too loud to have a conversation.
Probably college at the library
That's the place they are all for "business"
Grocery store.
Tinder
BIBLE
What about church
Try in a library
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