Lol. When people find out I'm a virgin, I've gotten the question several times "wait... are you, like... gay?"
Bahaha. If I were gay I most certainly would NOT be a virgin. Like, a LOT of guys had crushes on me in college. Even considered it, figuring maybe it's one of those things you don't know if you like it until you try it. But I didn't want to lead them on. I did find it flattering at least.
But nope. I'm straight. I was just raised on the idea that men's sexuality is disrespectful to women and that needed to be ashamed of it. So I'm in the habit of not showing it very well.
There's another one I get a lot, but it isn't annoying. I find it funny, and kinda flattering in a way. Ever since I bought a 4 bedroom 3-story house in a suburb, then any time I get a quote on a construction project or service, they say things like "Here's the quote. Let me know what YOU GUYS decide." or "Talk it over with your wife and see how she feels about it." or simply "Is your wife around?"
"I was just raised on the idea that men's sexuality is disrespectful to women and that needed to be ashamed of it"
I thought this statement was pretty powerful and definitely not talked about enough. Society seems to want to find subtle (or not so subtle) ways of shaming male sexuality and calling it creepy but the consequence of that is it instills a sense of guilt/shame/self-doubt in guys. I think a lot of approach anxiety that guys feel or unwillingness to approach are rooted in this sense of shame over being sexually attracted to a woman.
Here is what I can’t stand:
1. Having a woman criticize me for being single because she assumes that dating is the same way for guys as it is for women (when all else equal). I HATE that. Very selfish and ignorant assumption.
2. Having people question my sexuality. I notice single men are more apt to have people say this to them bullshit vs. single women.
Its 2022. If a single guy really is gay he has much less to lose if he comes out (in many cases he will be celebrated). You are adding insult to injury if you say this crap to a single man.
3. Having people tell me to “get over” past hang ups and just to “get out there”. Of course I want to get over that crap. But when you have been screwed (ghosted, cheated on, friéndzoned, etc.) not once, not twice but 10+ times don’t be surprised that I’ve gotten gun shy and jaded.
Yes a man needs to be “confident” but there comes a point the drawbacks start to outweigh the rewards when I’m constantly sticking my neck out.
I'd rather be healthy and happy as a single woman over being unhappy while in a relationship or married. Not everything is as it seems and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Besides, we don't need to be married or dating in these modern times. We have options and we can choose what fulfils us. Of course, if you want to get married or be in a relationship that is also fine and as long as the couple is happy and healthy together. I'm 23 and I was in a relationship with a guy for nearly 4 years and we broke up nearly 8 months ago. It wasn't on bad terms but we had our own things to work on and we wanted different things. Right now I am working full-time and saving, wanting to travel many places, working on my health and well-being and just quietly enjoying my own company and single life after being in a relationship for so long from a young age. Sometimes it's nice to find yourself and enjoy your own company too.
“When they’re like wow you dont drink nor party nor smoke weed? What do you do then? You’re not living life”
People who ask shit like that disgust me. They only know how to have fun while being intoxicated or out hoeing. I rather be single than date someone who lives that lifestyle (which is the majority of people in the age range I’m interested in).
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I did not like being asked if I was interested caused there friends would always hate me if I did not reject them in a sweet way.
“Why don’t you have a girlfriend? If you hate women so much it’s must mean you’re gay and it’s ok to be gay.”
My nana believes that I’m gay because I come across as hating women sense I’ve been alone for 7 years and when we attempt to discuss today’s women my age she just doesn’t understand. So she immediately resorts to me possibly being gay and tries to tell me that she’d still accept me even if I were when I know I’m not. Which I know she obviously would because her best friend is a gay guy who hates Christians. It’s nice to know that she’d accept it if I were but I’m not. I just intensely dislike the fact that she can’t understand why I’m not a fan of today’s women. She was there to help me through the false accusation And ex parte PPO I had to deal with in college yet she still is oblivious. She ended up extremely distraught when we tried discussing it and thought I was mad at her or hated her or something so I don’t discuss it with her anymore. No one seems to understand being single is better for men today. Yet we are incels and hate women if we aren’t actively seeking a relationship that’ll destroy our lives even if it’s eventually
This is going to sound crazy but the one thing I hear more than I would like is this question! Who was it that hurt you so bad?
Other person: Have you ever been married?
Me: NO!
Other person: No as in never?
Me: Yes, never married!
Other person: Just never found the right gal?
Me: Just was never interested in settling down after school!
Other Person: Wow, you must have been hurt really bad!
I have this conversation more than I care to admit! I have also been accused of being gay or told I must be some kind of an Incel!
"How do you expect to get a girlfriend if you don't put yourself out there?" First off I work far too long and far too hard to even try dating. I worked over 80 hours the week before I posted this. Had only Sunday off and I do heavy lifting the whole shift. I don't have the time, energy, or desire to do anything. Second I have no car. And third I always tell them that I have never once thought or said I expect to get a girlfriend.
Before I had a girlfriend it would make me mad and angry when some girls would ask "why haven't you had a girlfriend?"
It makes me mad because do they think it's supposed to be naturally easy for every guy to know how to get a girlfriend?
The number one thing I got tired of hearing was "Why are you single?" And yes it IS difficult dating these days and I don't believe in all of those pickup lines, games and b. s. it takes to get women. I understand PERFECTLY what you said about the woman finding you... I feel the same way. What is meant to be will be.
What do you do? Because what MOST women mean is "how much do you make". And if you're asking that as one of your first questions you're not a match for me. Notice I said "most" women not all. Some women genuinely really are asking what you do. It's more of the way they ask.
Never knew some guys are out off by that question I thought it was pretty normal tbh. (For guys around my age +-10 years) ‘so do you study or work?’ Followed by ‘so what do you do then? ‘ if they say work I don't know if that sounds like I’m trying to guess their income if that makes sense
@muscularbumblebee well I think it's more tied into my age bracket. At your age you're just getting started and everyone's in a fairly similar boat with untapped potential. At my age people are more established. There's just more baggage, so I think women are looking more towards retirement in about 20 years. So I guess what I'm saying people read you more like a balance sheet. What do you do? ( or how much do you make?) Do you rent or own? (are you in debt? How much?) Basically they're trying to determine whether you're a low risk or not. Which I guess annoys me. Because I don't have a prestigious job, I make an avg. Wage. But I've been a ridiculous saver and investor my entire working life. I basically never took a vacation in 20 years. Because I grew up in a family of five with a father who made a cop's salary. And a chronically I'll sister. To my parents credit. We always had a place to sleep, a hot meal on the table, and 2 parents that loved us. But we weren't rich. And my father died at 57 3 years. After retiring without health insurance. That memory drives me to always have financial security. And at 46 I've accomplished that. Life doesn't come with guarantees but I shouldn't have to ever work again in my life if I don't want to. So most the women I meet are nowhere in my league financially. But they decide to judge me (sometimes) on a question that in by no means defines me.
That's why I don't like it. 😉
In that case what you’re saying makes sense, also good for you for saving and everything!
Time for you to find a girl, why don't you get married, haven't you found a girl yet... bla bla bla
I wasn't asking you, i was telling what people tells me since i became single haha
My family asking if there's a special somebody, or if I'm texting someone, they ask - with that tone and that look, if it's a guy I'm texting, or asking who it is...
Luckily I think they've finally put it to rest now.
"How are you still single?" And then the obligatory "don't worry, you'll find that special someone soon" follow up.
What if I'm single because I just don't want to date right now?
If you think that right people find you, they won't. Yoh have to communicate and reach out to people. It is not necessary to date them though, being a decent person does the job more often then not.
I have literally said that dating isn't necessary, haven't I?)
I do miss the point of sex since I ask none from my female friends. That's the point of communicating in the first place, learning what people really want etc. Without it you will keep operating the same mindset of "people want sex".
You told me that I omit a point of sex. I told you my reasoning of it. And since you are the one posting this, well... can't treat it otherwise.
Modern dating is partially about searching or having physical intimacy, sure. The world and its values change in this regard, but it doesn't mean people due to change because of it. People date to have fun, find their love/new friends, remember old times and many other reasons. Then again, my perspective, I guess.
Girl I'm with you. They say your single like it's a bad thing. I'd rather be in no relationship than a bad one. I can handle life on my own it just helps when I'm doing it with someone I love.
The wild lady can do it on her own haha
I understand what you mean...
Haha yeah. My grandmother always told me, Tammy you don't need a man to survive. And she is right. It's just a great bonus
I don't agree with you're grandmother, i think you do need a real man to survive but not a random male, cause if it's a random male than you're survival chances are going to be higher if you're going to do it alone, unlike being with a real man...
Don't think that a man doesn't need a girl, men and women compelte each other and that's why they need each other but it will be a bonus if he can tame the wild tammy 😂😂
I think she's just trying to say that don't stay with a bad man because you don't think you can't do it on your own.
Lol wild Tammy I'm getting there haha
If that's what she means than she's right and the wild tammy needs a good man who is able to love her forever and take good care of her forever 😊
Be careful to never be with a man like me cause you might get yourself eaten alive after marriage in the honey moon, or maybe eat something from you're body every year since he will have you forever 😂
Unfortunately I would have to agree with you on that.
It's pretty much like "You would like a beautiful, wonderful, fruitful & wholesome type of a romantic relationship with someone? In the current times the way things are like now? Yeah,... good luck with that!"
It’s too easy for everyone to go a stray, with the help of Instagram and other social media. You end up competing not with a particular pretty girl that he might meet. But every single girl on the planet.
I don't know how you look, still i prefer you over thousands of insta models or any model because you're beautiful in you're own way and looks aren't everything...
You're internal beauty ia what matters to me because it lasts forever while you're physical looks won't last...
I think the most annoying thing I got asked was if I was DTF.
Are you going to stay alone forever?
No, I just haven't gotten my ductape, rope, chloroform and dungeoun set up for the man I will kidnap and tie up in my house. But when I capture him I will invite you over for tea!
Re your update: she isn't going to fall out of the sky and find you. You need to make the effort to find her too.
I get tired of being asked why i am virgin and single. I mean just because i am a liberal feminist, decent looking woman doesn't automatically mean I like people? My legs would have "enter here" sign? Or I'd have more options? Honestly.
"What are you looking for?"
This question feels like we are on a business meeting negotiating a deal.
It's when I start to date and the woman starts asking the same old questions about my past like every other woman does to me of why I'm single. I don't care or ask women that. Matters how she is with me currently.
Yeah same I get tired of people asking me why I’m single too. I just haven’t met a man yet. I’ve met boys. But I haven’t met a man. Someone I can trust to build a home and family with.
Still young and still have time miss alyssa rapunzel, maybe they ask you a lot because they see you as a wonderful lady and who wouldn't want a wonderful precious virgin lady with an amazing mind 😊
@TonyMetal___86 Thanks!! But yes I guess different people have different timings! It's out of our control.
Totally agree, if it's in our hands than we would been married a long time ago by now 🤣
Marriage ain't a game, it's sacred and eternal and once married than forever married, so we better be careful to whom we are going to get married with...
@TonyMetal___86 Absolutely...
I get asked about my body count. It ain't any of their business.
Questions about if I had a boyfriend. Like, I made my martial status clear: Single. You'll see it in my profile, so why ask?
What's wrong with you?
Was asked a lot when i was still single.
I always responded with "i was infected with the ugly at a very young age, don't come any closer, it's higly infectious"
My mother would always ask me when I was going to get married, so she can one day become a grandmother. >.<
Well, I'm married now.
"Why don't you try to get a girlfriend?" As if it's super-easy for any guy to get someone.
If I ever tried online dating because that´s said to be easier for shy guys.
"When are you getting a girl? When are you having kids? I want grandkids soon! Are you getting married soon? "
Then people trying to give me advice or set me up with a girl..
I hate being around people who brag or complain about tjeir sex lives.
Same thing as you basically just people asking “why” or “are you socializing enough” “opening up” etc. like I’m trying here lol.
"Is she your girlfriend?" Any female friend I have it's the same thing. It's not like I am a Casanova or anything. Give me a break!
#1 thing that bugs me is "your younger sister has a kid, what's wrong with you?"
I hate it when I say I'm single, people assume it's because my standards were too high.
"So when are you going to be making dinner for at least 3?" Implying when will I settle down and have kids. Not any time soon. I might when I'm reincarnated in 300 years, who knows.
I don’t really care if someone asks me. I just tell them the truth and move on. No need to make a big deal out of it. Sounds like you are putting to much pressure on yourself
When you gonna get white boyfriend!! Perk of being south East Asian girl
I don't get asked those things.
LOL maybe nobody is surprised that I'm single...
I don't get asked anything. So I guess I'm lucky? I don't know
When I will find a girlfriend. The only experience I had was a 3 years LDR.
Requests for meaningless sex...
J/k those are acceptable questions... lol
Everything.
I dont get why people keep asking these things. Thats even more annoying
The number one thing I hate being asked why u I am single is 'Do you have a girlfriend' when d person knows that I'm still single
When are you going to get a boyfriend? I get that asked a lot believe me it's irritating me.
Do it
Not asked, but told...
"I have someone for you."
"When are you getting married"?
isn't it not finding mr. Right of ms. Right.
L hate asking me if am a virgin
When you gonna have a baby?
I get tired of being asked for money
If I know about cryptocurrency.
W you find big dick
Way to true
I agree with you.
She'll? You're les?
İ agree with you
Are you married
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