It sounds like you have your answer, so if all you need is consolidation, I'd say you have a good answer you can confidently tell them that it's not the right time for a relationship.
I've put effort into trying to meet someone and I'm still single, my sister has put no effort into meeting people and she's single.
We like to think we can control the outcomes of our lives, and while I think dating provides opportunity to learn about yourself and how you relate to others, unless you settle for something less than you want, there's no guarantee you'll meet the right type of person.
Trust yourself, trust your answer. Recognise that people asking about your relationship status is a reflection of their own expectations about life, often these are based on unrealised and unquestioned cultural norms, and people will trust these norms more than they do their own voice and what the heart and mind are telling them.
So once again, reflect, trust your self, recognise other people's assumptions (and insecurities), and accept that you want to do things the way that is healthiest for you.
I already told them, that i am a perfectionist in everything. I worked smartly, and pretty hard to achieve a lot of good stuff in life, so I can't settle for anything but the best and I am still exploring as many available options as possible, but still haven't found what i can call "The Right One".
Getting into relationship is not an issue, got plenty of options, but unworthy and incompatible relationships steal my freedom to explore as many girls as possible, to find the right one.
I'm so glad people don't ask me that question anymore! They either respect that it's okay being single... or they've given up hope on me, LOL
I tell people I haven't found anyone worth my time or effort. I rather be single and happy, than be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one and wind up taken yet miserable like so many others out there-
... works every time, lol.
There are so many miserable married couples out there, it's kinda sad yet funny. But they didn't want to be alone so they settled. Most people that are married or in relationships aren't as happy as they portray themselves to be. Heck, some people are jealous of those that are single because they miss that independence, space, and freedom to do what you want, when you want.
So don't let people stress you out, or feel guilty that you haven't found the right person yet. Tell them you're enjoying life and waiting for someone accentuates your life. But until they come along, you're happy as is.
Before I had my man.. my response was:
Honestly no guys I know are worth holding on to. If I know its not gonna work then why try? I know what I want and I would rather be single than just being with someone for the sake of not being alone. I rather wait for a man thats the type of man I want.
People seem to think being married and baby making is all that life is. My grandmother asked me how does it feel your little sister is getting married before you? I said I am happy for her. She responded I better take pointers on how to hold on to a man from her... I said ahh no thanks.. I can hold on to a man when they are worth holding on to. She looked puzzled and left me alone I was good to not say fuck you but I wanted to.. I am looking for the love of my life to be my husband not just any guy will do!
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Can I ask how you cope?
My parents do this to me all the time and have since I was about 16. After a few years they started hinting that being gay is okay and hinting I maybe and can tell them. Now they are on that train as well as the one of you can be happy and never meet anyone. Basically hinting I'll be a! one for my life bur that they are okay with it.
They don't take my word I'm straight and go out of their way to make me feel crap about being single and that I shouldn't hide the truth that isn't there from them.
They say that to move out quickly I just need to meet someone.
It's has a big impact on me in terms of self esteem and ability to meet people they are a! so somewhat responsible for my anxiety. Added to the fact that they don't support or care about me and make me feel like shkt about my dating life and assuming I'm gay or will be alone for life. I hate living with them and don't like my family much.
I'm sorry you have family that ask a lot. I'm sorry for the rant but i just needed to write it out somewhere Its a source of bitterness for me.
You can do whatever you wish. That's your right. But the reason people are asking is because, at your age, you still have incredibly high Social Market Value - if the dating market was a financial market, you'd be a multimillionaire. You can attract men of considerable SMV right now.
But 26 is when, on average, that value begins dropping. It's still incredibly high, but the peak is behind you, and you are on the downslope. By the time you hit 30, it's similar to only being financially worth $200,000 when right now, it's like you are worth $50M. That's a pretty drastic difference, and people don't want you to waste your opportunity to set up the rest of your life, like so many women do.
Today, you could get a man who you would consider an 8 or 9. At 30, you're going to struggle to get guys who you'd consider a 5 or 6 (we're talking about a relationship here - you can get sex from more desirable guys at that age, but not relationships).
You can't control the aging process, or the fact that SMV for women is tied to your youth and fertility. You either take advantage of that when you have the opportunity, or you lose that opportunity forever. That's just how it is.
Back when I was single I said it was because I hadn't found a woman that met the standards I was looking for and that it was mostly a waste of time.
Relationships and dating is a lot harder if you are an average looking man. You have little room to make a mistake before you are dropped like a hot tamale and at the same time, if you like a strong sense of core and boundaries you leave yourself desperate and vulnerable to bad women.
I got asked that to the point it annoyed me and I even got asked by women if I was gay. Not the most fun experience, but I would rather have a great woman than a shit one.
Lol well for starters you're 26! And also who cares if you're single. I hate when people ask me why I'm still single. I'm like- well I clearly just haven't found the right person to spend my life with and also it sucks that its expected that you need to have someone like being single is weird or something 😆 the way I see it- its better to take your time and be happy alone then to just be with the wrong person or for the sake of it.
The best response is to answer the person and not the question. The answer is that itās none of their business and they donāt have any interest in hearing that there is either a lack of supply of people to date or you just havenāt met the right person. They look down on single people like theyāre handicapped and they just want to understand how you function in your day to day like. I made the mistake of answering the question back before I got married but realized that it was simply a roundabout way for the other person to insult you because you are not married like they are. They donāt understand how you could dare possibly be different from them and function normally. The other thing is that once you do get married, these same people donāt know how to have regular conversation so they just donāt talk to you or theyāll ask even more obnoxious questions like āHow do you have so many kids?ā, which, again is none of their business.
Ah oh... About to hit the danger zone. That point where marrying guys stop, and the rift-raft begin. Oh you can still find a partner out past 26, but it only gets more challenging.
The scary thing for most women who want to have a family is the wall. There is an expiration date, unless you want to be child-free. There is always a guy who will keep you or you will keep him on the back burner.
For most people, especially women, is the realization that you're going to wind up as either a single mom, or will get a pet and die alone. That's the end game for most.
That said, some find their dream, others win the lottery. It is possible.
It doesn't matter how others feel, but it can be a big pain having to keep having that conversation.
Even if do explain it to them, it still keeps coming up over and over again.
Just let them know that when the time is right for you it will happen.
That right now you are happy with your life and have a good friend base and you can get laid whenever you feel the need.
Just keep getting more explicit with your sex life, true or not and that will make them uncomfortable and should help to keep them from asking about it ever again.
Me personally I give a simple response, "I dont worry about my relationship status I focus on other things and then if I fall in love with someone then it happens and if I don't fall in love then life moves on and I want to move where life will take me"
"I just haven't found the right man yet!"
And understand that the guys don't really even mature till about 25, that's when their brain fully forms. So it's been like dealing with a bunch of over-grown 12 year olds.
Give it time, give it time. And date a LOT - you don't need to have sex with them all. But lots of variety will actually give you the knowledge and experience to be able to discern whether they're a match or not, whether they are worthy. Most simply will not be. NEXT!
I defer them to my ex-girlfriendsā¦. āAsk my exesā¦ā granted the spiel about, āyou donāt want to die alone. Who will take care of you. Donāt you want kids? Donāt you want a family of your own?ā Cliché. All cliché same olā tired repetitive questions. I told one aunt who would always pry, āI prefer to sleep around and own my dog who is actually always excited to see me when I get home.ā That response only got her to ask less. Not stop, just less. If I were a woman I likely would have responded with, āI have a dog, a vibrator, and plenty of ice cream. What else does a gal need?ā As a guy saying I have two hands the effect is no where the same as saying as a gal you have a vibe. Anyway, best of luck.
As for me when people ask why Iām still single Iām open & honest with them & I tell them the simplest answer of them all. Iām single because I simply choose to be. On the other hand if love finds me or I find love I will welcome a relationship all the way.
āI want to beā. i literally have no interest in being in a relationship with anyone right now. i just want to have fun, make friends. there is a lot less drama and feelings involved which iām not ready to get back to just yet. im enjoying my 20s
I get asked this a lot and I always say āThereās no rush, whatās meant to be in life will happen when the time is right.ā I like to remain mystery and the answers to many peopleās questions flows out effortlessly. However, those who ask me that question in reality they donāt know that I feel discouraged, confused, and wondering if Iāll ever come across a man that is genuine.
Keep your answers vague.
Well most people get tired of hearing it and they get very defensive what I do or what I've done is I just accept it's going to happen it's going to be asked it's going to be said. And it depends on who you ask me but I will make up the biggest baddest most weirdest excuse ever and smile after I get done saying it because we all know down deep it will happen when it happens it will happen when we are ready for it to happen that's the bottom line
Iām 58, been married 3 times, divorced the first for her indiscretions while I was overseas with the military, the 2nd wife passed away unexpectedly at 31 years of age, the 3rd was my fault, my ā what in the fuck were you thinkingā marriage, Iām done, I date, or have 1 night or 1 week romps. As far as settling down again, no, the ā datingā scene is access pool, too many blue haired feminazi biden supporters, and in way too old for games, hookers are an option I use.
Besides the fact that we're in a pandemic, which seems like a good enough reason not to be dating right now, I just tell people I'm not in the right place to be a good partner at the moment. Which is true. I'm working on myself, both in and out of therapy, to resolve or at least improve my issues and learn how to deal with them. But I'm not at a place yet where I feel in confident enough in my progress to test that in a relationship
Itās amazing how actual family seems hell bent on ahoving women in to toxic dysfunctional relationships without a care in the world. They want the āappearanceā of a relationship and could care less if the woman in question suffered horribly. I saw this dynamic crush young women in Asia.
It's not for a lack of opportunities, but I just haven't found the right person for me.
No point settling for less, relationship is not a joke to me.
I donāt get asked , but the expectation that I must date is crazy. I tell my family I donāt have time for the drama and prefer being by myself without the negativity and stress.
Not been asked that a lot yet, but since my last ex I raised my standards of what I'm looking for. I'll try to take more time to look more, but not lowering my standards.
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