How do I address my social retardation?

[Almost_Incel]

I am a 27 year old guy from the southern United States. I turn 28 later this year, and I have never had a real girlfriend before, especially nothing serious or long-term. In addition, I am lacking friends. Almost everyday I have a sense of dread, doom, and depression. It is an overall sense of loneliness and hopelessness that consumes my everyday life.

Recently, within the past 2 months, I managed to move out into my own apartment. I have a very well-paying, stable career. I am a software developer and live comfortably on my salary. I also own 2 cars and a large, 37 foot RV. Financially, I am well off right now. However, my financial successes didn't come until recently.

It has been a never-ending struggle trying to acquire romantic relationships and even just friends. I work remotely from home, and I am no longer attending school. The opportunities to form relationships, both romantic and non-romantic friendships, feels very limited.

It is gut wrenching to me seeing most of my peers and those I have known growing up getting married, having kids, and/or both. I know more people around my age (and even younger) who are married than not, yet I have never even had my first real girlfriend yet!

I feel socially inept and almost subhuman. I have always desired to have a girlfriend, wife, and a family of my own, but it just feels so unobtainable. It is not that I haven't tried. I have gone on dates and asked girls out, although it usually never progresses past the first date. They usually find me unattractive.

I am short with a height of 5 feet 6 inches. I would say I am average looking at best. I can often be socially awkward.

I do have high standards, and many say that what I am looking for is almost impossible to find. But I want to point out that I am struggling to attract ANY woman. I feel as if most high school kids have more experience than I do regarding relationships and sex.

More below...

Updates

+1 y

Speaking of intimacy, I have only slept with one girl one time 7 years ago during a weekend fling. She did not want to pursue anything with me after that weekend. I haven't touched a girl since. Although I am not a virgin by definition, I feel like one. I especially cannot say I ever "made love". I am very inexperienced when it comes to sex and intimacy.

I do want to make it clear, however, I am not out looking for just sex. I want something meaningful for once

[Anonymous]

Women are like credit cards, you can only have one if you dont need one.

Women generally and really almost exclusively will only date men who are older and taller than they are.

Women very often want men who stack paper, there is no escaping it, there are many euphemisms for it, sucessful, stable, driven, whatever.

So the next 7 years of your life are likely to be much better than the last 7 years, more women are becoming available to you as you age and your finanical position is improving.

I suggest you get yourself down the gym, you want to be match fit when your train comes in and who knows you might even meet a lady there.

You need to figure out what is important to you, what qualities does a woman need to have to be in your life?

You need to be careful with this one though, firstly you can screen out an awful lot of women with a very small amount of variables, such as religion, politics, children, pets, life goals and also in my personal experience these rules dont even seem to work particularly well but you have to screen potentials some how, as you say you aren't looking for casual, you want to build a life with someone, so you should at least be screening for life goals.

It might sound a bit odd to be talking about screening women out as you currently seem unable to find any woman at all but if nothing else i think it is important for your own well being to realise that you aren't even remotely interested in the vast majority of women anyway so it doesn't matter that they are interested in you.

You should work on your self love, validation, positively framing situations and developing a positive mental attitude etc simply because this is good advise for literally everyone.

Explore and work on yourself, know who you are and what you want and persue your goals, women like that.

If you are fit, stacking paper, confident and comfortable in yourself and going places I think it is extremely unlikely that you won't find what you are looking for.

Love just sort of happens, you can't really plan it but the more interactions you can have with people the more chances you have that you will click or that some opportunity will present itself.

So do whatever you can to widen your social circle.

Whatever you do you have to be your authentic self so make sure you know who that is.

[Guy13]

First Problem: Feel, Feel, Feel. If there’s anyone who should THINK, it is a Computer guy. Sissies feel and men THINK and KNOW.
-Try a pencil pocket protector with tiny screw driver and I’m not teasing BUT lose sissy feel. “I’m expressing my inner self”
-Southern: like research triangle park computers NC or Atlanta…Mississippi Texas ❓
Is your Mon passive or aggressive❓ Stay home or work❓If work then what field❓
-You sound like a guy a bossy young woman or a BJ expert will exercise dominion over. Your height/weight❓

[HusamRocks]

Next time u go on a date, make it all about the girl she is standing in front of u , make her feel like there r no other girls in the world by mentioning how beautiful she is and stuff. When it's the time to talk about urself don't be an open book. Dress good smell good look good. This is something to start with