How to trust again when you’ve been hurt and now you are guarded?

[cth2188]

Yes, after being hurt too much I have become extremely guarded and don’t trust anyone anymore..

The last person I talked too - lied to me, took advantage of meX and played mind games.. luckily we never met or anything , but it was the time wasted and invested..

Not seeing a relationship, but open to friendship nowadays

Updates

+1 y

I never dated the person I met as a friend I saw where we had nothing in common so I ended our friendship

[GingerGuy]

It's understandable, and first you have to make sure you're "ready" to try again (sometime you can think you are and find out you're not), but you have to remind yourself that every relationship and person is different. You can't bring that "baggage" into a new relationship. Just like if it was reversed and them, you don't want them judging you based off someone else's actions. But at the same time like I say, it's understandable, and most people have been at least once in their lives, so most will understand that you might need extra time to trust fully. Time is the true "proof".

[cth2188]

When did I state I’m seeking out a relationship? No where in this post I clearly stated I seeking friends nothing more nothing less - I don’t know about a relationship in the future because I know I’m not ready for that. It’s not baggage I’m going through it’s hurt from lying and deceptive people who can’t be trusted nowadays

[cth2188]

Thus why I’m guarded - I never dated this person and we never met - I was seeking friendship at that time and then she became with the hot and cold behavior and playing games. This is what dating has become nowadays

[GingerGuy]

Where you hurt from a relationship? Do you mean you don't trust in general? Maybe you need therapy? Your question implies relationship to me, but if you're just talking about general trust towards people (should specify lol), that also understandable, but the same advice applies. People aren't all the same. For me, there's basic respect and trust until they show me otherwise.

[cth2188]

It’s not about relationships being different it’s about people playing game and lying nowadays/ it’s every reason why I’m still single

[cth2188]

I never said I was in a relationship I said the last person I encountered lied and played mind games upon building a friendship- I don’t even date , but at that time this is what happened - I’ve been single 7 years and my post is about to rebuild trust again with people

[cth2188]

My post was very clear

[Berethor]

Yea it can be hard to trust people.

[CloudMassacre]

Therapy

[cth2188]

I am in therapy - right now my therapist knows where I’m at