IS MY BOYFRIEND JUST USING ME?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 months now, He’s my first boyfriend and we’re both 19. And he seems really into me and I feel like he loves me and respects me a lot. But he never gets me anything at all and he sometimes ask me to get somethings for him and I do. He just randomly asked me for what I want and promise to get me and he never gets them. He comes up with excuses why he didn’t get them for me. He asked me to be his Val that he wanted to gift me but he didn’t give me any gift but I gave him a gift. He stylishly askes me to get him things and I gets them for him. But I dont ask him to get me anything cause I’m not comfortable asking. And I told him I feel loved when people get me things without me asking and I reciprocate more when they do. Does him asking me to get him things and not get me means he’s using me? Or it’s normal. Please I need advice on what to do

Yes

No

[Seinna]

This is not a normal and proper behaviour from a guy, whether he's aware of using you or is just doing it out of convenience. You should leave him regardless because he has no class and no dignity as a man. It'd be understandable and perfectly ok if he was poor - but the fact that he asks you for these kinds of favours and never reciprocate is really strange... it actually reminds me of something I heard years ago.

Apparently while the vast majority of people feel the need to reciprocate a favour or a gift, there are people who simply don't have that urge. And these people are called psychopaths. I'm not saying your boyfriend is one of them but people can have some of those traits without being psychopaths... it's definitely not a good sign. Think about it - you feel bad about even asking and you never get anything from him, while he has no shame in taking, making false promises and never reciprocating. Put yourself in his position, how would you feel? Well, he doesn't feel that way, strange, isn't it?

[KnightKissedbyFire]

Men are not always the "bread winners". Doesn't matter the age, generation or roles in the relationship. If you make more money than him you will be spending money on physical things in the relationship. Material things come and go. Priorities matter. If your boyfriend is a good human, good communicator, honest, loyal, romantic and everything else for you then money and material things don't matter. If however they matter more to you then him, you have to have that conversation with him about his false promises of materialist presents aren't coming true. Making promises he isn't keeping is the real conversation you need to have with him. Not where are the gifts.

[TommyMountainFigure]

It certainly sounds like it.
My question though is, is he trying to be something he isn't with you? I mean is he pretending to be able to afford the things he promises you, but secretly just unable to afford them?
Or, is he just a tight fisted (Insert word here)

[blissinanarchy1]

Take into account everything else. Does he seem to only want sex? Is he affectionate? Does he enjoy your company? Do you guys go on dates? Cuddle? Intimate talks?

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s using you but you need to put up boundaries. Tell him you can’t get him things. See how he reacts. Tell him that you want him to reciprocate gift giving (again).


Does he not have the money? Does he give you anything at all? A written card or something?

[Raphaëlle]

If he asks you for something, say no and see how he reacts. Does he only want things from you? Then it doesn't seem like a mutual relationship.

[Anonymous]

Men love using women, if not as a beard, then for sex or money. My brother does the same to his girlfriend.

[HateyouxD]

Match his energy sis!!

[Anonymous]

And sex?