Was it a good idea to tell my boyfriend I got a stalker?

[Anonymous]

I recently met a neighbor- young and charming. He introduced himself to me almost by force one day while I was carrying groceries home. He offered to give me a hand which I thought was sweet.

He then told me that he's been watching me around in shops etc. and was looking for a chance to talk to me. My gut feeling told me that there's something creepy in this guy so I tried to deflect him. He asked me if we could be friends and hang out sometimes as he lives nearby and just returned from abroad so he's lonely and wants company. I honestly didn't thought it would be harm to hang out (outside) grab a coffee and maybe be friends. I didn't think at that time that he'll be stalking me, I was like he gives me the creeps but maybe I am biased.

I gave him my number to call sometimes. He immediately texted me SMS, then viber, then telegram every platform he could find me. I explained to him that I started feeling uncomfortable not only because I have a partner but he was all the time sending me creepy texts like "I remember every detail of your face, when I go to sleep I fantasize about you" or "I like your style with your boots and sweaters especially the red one you were wearing on X day". This is when I blocked me as he didn't respect my wish to not engage further. Few months later, I got a text from him

"Hey don't know why you blocked me lol but I've been seeing you around without your guy, chat me up if you ditched him I got a new number to text you." I sent him a reply to stop harassing me and blocked his new number. My boyfriend is currently abroad so we communicate in chat. I texted him that the creepy neighbor started harassing me again but I handled it. I think its important to let my close people know cause I am getting upset and kind of terrified to be watched by a person who doesn't understand boundaries and tries to find ways to intrude my privacy.

Updates

+1 y

so I talked with my boyfriend and he thinks I have nothing to worry and just a couple of messages is nothing and that he won't do anything further to me if I keep blocking him

[Unknown_Swan_]

Yes. I do believe that you have done the right thing.

Everything that you have done to protect yourself so far is correct. The only thing you slipped up on was allowing yourself to initiate a friendship with him first off. Bad move, but you were only trying to be a nice.

He sounds creepy and obsessive. Maybe he's got a mental illness, or a personality disorder? Either way, if this continues and he starts getting verbally abusive or physically violent, I'd keep all texts he has sent you as evidence and then report him to the police. You can then hopefully get a restraining order put on him then and this will end.
Just saying, that part about him saying he fantasizes about you in his dreams and he knows every part of your face, for a stranger, that indicates some potential serious issues.

Just take it easy and if he carries on doing this, you will have to take it up with the authorities unfortunately. They'll either talk to him, warn him or take action.

[KrakenAttackin]

She led him on.

[Unknown_Swan_]

@KrakenAttackin
She shouldn't have given him her number and hung out with him. Bad move.
But we all make mistakes.
She'll learn from this hopefully

[Unknown_Swan_]

@KrakenAttackin
That some strangers are potentially dangerous/obsessive

[KrakenAttackin]

This is true, but her mistake was fundamental and her boyfriend should call her out for cheating.

[Unknown_Swan_]

@KrakenAttackin
How is that cheating? I'm confused

[KrakenAttackin]

Going on a date with another man?

[Asker]

@KrakenAttackin I never went on a date with him- I told my boyfriend the truth since it started. That I gave him my number because I thought we could hang out as friends and told him that he wrote to me a couple of times and I blocked him. I didn't do anything with him or had ever an intention of doing so.

[KrakenAttackin]

"honestly didn't thought it would be harm to hang out (outside) grab a coffee and maybe be friends.".

Damn fool.

[SnakeBoop]

its fine. but more worth starting to compile the evidence for police.

[Asker]

I blocked him in every platform and so any chats or messages I deleted them. Not a smart idea :/ I hope since I explicitly asked him to stop harassing me that he'll get the message.

[SnakeBoop]

If you have to keep blocking him, that shows an issue. So either you and boyfriend are dumb or something.

[Asker]

Well he thinks nothing bad will happen and that I'm exaggerating.

[OddBeMe]

Eesh, yes it’s good. Tell as many as possible. He’s probably harmless but that’s some serious red flags. Don’t engage with them.