Exclusive FWB? Good idea?

[Anonymous]

First of all, don't judge me. We recently started to be friends with benefits six months ago. At that time, we did not talk about being exclusive or anything. But he said if I go around with someone then I should inform him. I wanted something more but he only comes back to visit his parents. He lives far and he said he is too busy for a relationship. I also get it because long distance relationship is something I don't want. So when he was gone, I ended up kissing another guy. He comes back every two months and that's when I get to see him (we meet up a lot during the night time only when he gets back) . So I told him about it and he got pissed saying how I didn't even think about him when I kissed another guy and then talked about being exclusive. Even when he leaves, we still talk to each other. May be I put too much value in labelling the relationship. I just feel like he wants me but not enough to be his girlfriend nor does he want me to go out or be with anyone else. I just feel like he is keeping his options open just in case and it does not feel good. I have considered leaving him. But I am too attached to him and it is really hard. One time I actually went to his city to visit some friends and decided to meet him too. But he didn't make time for me at all. He was busy with his course till 3 and then told me that he might go to a party (which starts at 9), so he could not meet me. These type of things makes me feel like he just wants me when he does but not when I want to see him. People usually call it being a boyfriend and girlfriend without being in a relationship. May be it's just me. I got hurt that I travelled to his city (I know it was not just for him) but still he could have made time to see me. so I don't know what I should do? I feel like it's better to leave him because I am scared of getting hurt. I want to be in something that is clear not muddy and so unstable. What do you guys and girls think?

[cumplice]

Impossible not to judge; mostly because you're asking for an opinion.
Seems he is just being jealous and selfish; don't fall for this... That's the point: if you just feel like he wants you but not enough to be his girlfriend nor does he want you to go out or be with anyone else, leave him. Don't treat as the one someone who treats you as the second or anything else.
"I just feel like he is keeping his options open just in case and it does not feel good." Probably, he is indeed!
"I have considered leaving him. But I am too attached to him and it is really hard." Life is hard; and even harder if you want to be happy. Do what you have to do and deal with the consequences.
Bottom line: friends with benefits, good; exclusivity, bad.

[DarkWasTaken]

Stupid to get angry at a kiss.
It's one thing to protect yourself by having a friend with benefits that doesn't fuck with 20 people at the same time, but a kiss is a bit shallow to get pissed off at.

That said, you can't expect him to make time for you just because you came to his town unexplectively.
If he had school and an organized party it's selfish of you to expect him to stop doing his things just for you.

And now you have opinions on both side.

You want something stable and clear?
Then leave. As simple as that.
You owe each other nothing.

[Asker]

I have to book days off from work two weeks or at least a week before the off day. So he knew that I was coming when I booked the days off. His education is important so I didn't waited for him to finish his class. But the thing that pisses me off is he didn't even end up going to that party. I was keeping my schedule free for him hoping that I would get to see him later. He says he might go to the party and does not confirm if he would. Then after two hours he says he is going so I make plans with my girlfriend. The next day he tells me he didn't go to the party -.- really. I actually feel stupid saying/typing this.

[Chanel1981]

It seems he wants you to be exclusive to him at his convenience, doesn't really seem fair.

[linds34]

This seems like way too much drama for a friend with benefits, I would drop him tbh.

[winterfox10]

Here's the deal: I love the idea of an exclusive friends with benefits. If I could find a girl down for that, I would do it in a heartbeat. But living in the same city/area would be a requirement. I'm not gonna not have sex with available women, just because a woman who I have no obligation to, and who lives in a place too far away to see regularly, doesn't want me to. It's just not fair to either of you. You're talking about an LDR without the emotional component.

[NoOneIsKillingMe]

Good lord you're already dating each other. Just call it what it is.

[Eternallylucky]

If you don't feel like it, don't agree to it

[JosyJosy]

Fuck what a block.

[JosyJosy]

I would have one serious talk with him