I just need someone to listen I don’t have anyone to talk to?

[hunnie-bunches]

I’m really depressed. I’m 43. I work full time. I’m single and have been for 3 years. I’m independent. I’m lonely. I’m so tired of being alone. I don’t need anybody I just want somebody. I can take care of myself I enjoy alone time but I’m tired of not having anybody to spend time with and talk to and do things with. I was in two long-term relationships with men that were abusive in one way or another. I have 4 (3 grown one 16 yr old) kids from my first. Now I refuse to settle. It seems like no man wants to be with me unless they’re already married or with someone I give my heart to somebody and then months later I find out they’re in a whole relationship with someone else. I’m scared to give anybody a chance but at the same time I’m so sick of the loneliness. I’m tired of not having someone to have my back and being all alone with my thoughts when I’m having a horrible day’s. Men only want a good time nowadays they don’t want anything serious and I’m sick of feeling like I’m only worth having sex with. My heart is shattered and I’m sick Oh every time I try to talk to friends and family like but you’re very strong woman you don’t need a man that’s not my point I want someone to share live with with no hidden agenda just genuinely wants me for me. I’m also very picky almost shallow it seems. I want a man that has a job that has his own place that I know will not try to use me for anything.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Sorry you feel that way and I don't know what to tell you, I'm just some dude on the internet that lives with his own problems but I can always offer you advice, or if you gotta vent and blow off steam, I'm on here quite often so you at least dont ball it up inside, it can read read terrible results, I know you'll find someone, just let God guide you and not try to be the one steering the boat because us humans would row that boat blindly, for now you have so much to appreciate, you have a family, you have a job, a house and you are in a good spot financially, perhaps you should stop being so hard on yourself like you are the one with the problem because you seem to be in a good and comfortable position in life and these people that come and go are the ones that simply are still figuring things out, don't beat yourself up for other peoples failures, because I'm sure eventually you'll run into that person that is also seeking for the same thing and y'all will click, life can be unfair at times but it can also be beautiful, it all depends the way you look at it, you shouldn't feel lonely because you aren't alone.

[TheMajesticKing777]

It can lead to terrible results*

[FunkyMonkee]

You sound a lot like me except that I don't have any kids, I've been almost completely alone for 21 years, now and even the last few years that I WAS with someone, she was cheating on me! I would LOVE to have someone come visit, play cards, talk, take walks, ride bikes, go swimming, listen to movies and watch records with, tell dirty jokes with. SOMEONE to talk to! IN PERSON would be GREATLY preferred. I've been through hell the past few years, thanks to my ex-sisters and now that my aunt died a year ago, I'm completely alone in life!! Covid theatre isn't helping AT ALL!! My singer and guitarist both died in the past 8 years so, the band doesn't exist anymore! It's just me, all by my lonesome! I get a lot done around here but, I'd rather have someone to spend time with.
I wrote a new song about this 2 weeks ago. If I can ever get this house cleaned the fuck out and get my recording gear up here, maybe I can start working on it!! I sent the words to a friend of mine and said that were REALLY powerful!! She and I have been best friends for almost 20 years now and, so far, outside of school (we met in a music class in college), I've only seen her 4 times! She only lives about 5 miles from here but still can't ever find the time to come visit me!! I don't drive and have no idea exactly where she lives or I'd try to go see her but, she's nearly always doing stuff and going places so, I'd most likely miss her.
You're really cute, by the way! THANKFULLY, I'm NOT one of those guys that's ONLY out for a bit of trim!! Friends will do quite nicely and, if SHE decides, at some point, there's to be sex in the picture, that's up to her!! I've hardly EVER had any friends so, I'd be more interested in having a friend than just someone to fuck. If SHE wants that, later, we'll talk! If not, I'm NOT gonna ruin the friendship by trying to MAKE IT ALL about sex!!

[Anonymous]

Okay the issue here is you think about what you want but not what men want. Women have made sex easy, they give it up easy. You have kids and noan wants a woman with kids already, realistically. They're just a headache. Then men will ask why you chose an @$$hole when you had plenty of nice guys in your prime years. You aren't alone, plenty of women have made the same mistakes in life. A lot of older women think that they are "established" and so therefore they want more from a man. Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news but... Men don't really care about that. In fact if you are too well established chances are you have less use for him. Men want to feel useful and they don't when you are very well off. Call it an insecurity or w/e but it's a natural calling pf men tbh. The women who th higher education are more likely to be single. Honestly I feel like this came down to feminists spoon feeding wen garbage at a young age and then these young girls who threw their vagina around getting men thought they were empowered. Then they realize that very few are willing to commit m honestly women lost a lot of their power with feminism. Otade them far less desirable m why commit when you can get it all from them anyways and change for younger models at the drop of a dime? My suggestion? Get some lonely well off 60 year old. That's like my best advise. You'll be golden to him and hey, vacations and margaritas!

[TonyV]

Sorry independent women are a redflag. You even say I don't need a man I want a man, so why would a guy date you? You start of saying you need him around he probably won't stay around.

You're this lonely yet you still keep telling men "I don't need you and I won't settle for less than perfect"

It's your own fault you're lonely, I'm sorry you had a couple bad experiences, we all do, it's part of dating. You are really setting unrealistic standards.

It kind of sounds like you want to be a sugarmomma but don't want to pay the guy, cause getting payed/bought stuff is the only way I'd stick around a woman who says openly and freely for all to here "I don't respect this man and I'm indifferent to his presence, cause I don't need him"

[TonyV]

And to not sugar coat it, you're in your 40s, sorry your best years are behind you. After their 30s women typically get a taste of what it was like for men in their 20s, ignored, overlooked, unwanted and struggle to date whatever they can.
Lots of men your age with money, homes, smarts, and other ways to attract women that aren't already arrived are probably going to make up for rhe lost time of their 20s and 30s by dating the young pretty women.

Ypu have 4 kids which can be seen as baggage for 2 reasons, 1 why do I want to date someone who's always got a kid around? 2 if I want kids but she don't cause she's already got 4 then theirs nothing for me there, I want to be a dad not a stepdad. step-dad.

I don't know why women act like settling is such a bad thing, get over yourself. Frankly I wouldn't tolerate a hot young 22 year old with your standards. No woman is gonna disrespect me telling me they don't need me, I'm just an opinion, I'm just fun in the moment, I won't stay.

[DonGiovannii]

That sounds to me like you're showing too much willful will.
Whenever you get intense feelings like this, that start to control your logical thought. That's a big red flag that you need to take some time to work on yourself, be honest with yourself, and do it for yourself.
If you don't already journal daily I would recommend that, keep in mind what it is that you have control over and what you don't. Our egos tends to lead us to think that we have more control than we really do when all we really control is our actions or response.
I know it's not easy to do I hope things get better.

[OneNineZero]

Too much to read didn't read that
Long story short
If you are alone and not getting emo peace or you think you missing out on life or something which is not the case then you have to be q social butterfly which is not hard it takes time to get started then one can get along relatively easy

Regarding man you keeping way more expectations the world is not a good place to be now
Hard but true

[Browneye57]

"I refuse to settle". Code words for "I don't need no stinkin' man".
The problem is YOU honey - you have to BE a friend to HAVE friend. Your focus is on YOU instead of on someone you can relate to.
Love and marriage, family and all that is about GIVING, not about what YOU GET.
Yeah, 'strong woman' just means you hate men. Hope you like cats, cuz you'll never get or keep a man. EVER. I guarantee it.

[YourExLover69]

I'm the same except I don't have any kids and I want a woman in my life, who can marry me

[Freddie_Dicraprio]

I hope you find what you're looking for.
After my marriage ended I felt depressed too for a while too. I think it's like withdrawals from the addiction of love. Lol.

[Frank_90]

I’m sorry for how you feel and I’m here for you if you want to talk to someone

[Agape93]

I'm late to the party but you can dm me hon

[Debbie14217]

Hi give me a dm lets chat