I am 38 years old. I live in a context where i, as a teenager could have absolutely no possibility to find a girl. Back in the day, girls wanted "cool looking" thugs. Given that the context was due to the typical teenage mentality, i didn't care much, because i was looking for something healthy and serious. i would try trial and error approaches much later in university years.
I am now 38. It's totally impossible to interact with a girl. Basically even saying "hi" could be seen as sexual harassment.
I am italian, but actually i look very mediterranean-like. with some evident middle eastern tracts that WERE a serious bullyism problem back in teen age days.
maybe it's just that love, in certain contexts is driven by racist mentalities.
maybe in some places you MUST grow up with people since childhood in order to be accepted and open the way for future social life.
Maybe i was really in the wrong place.
Now i'm not looking, because work opportunities i meet may need me to move out someday not too far and possibly emigrate.
So i feel like i'm in need to settle down, with a girl in a healthy relationship.
problem is, that i am not motivated. i want it, but i feel it impossible to achieve. And still, i FEAR being treated like a stalker or a sexual harasser just because i told "hi" to someone. I don't want this risk. i want to respect people. I don't know even what to begin with.
What should i do to begin talking to a girl i like without resulting creepy? or am i "creepy" because i'm not "good looking" for some girl? Because here, i got the impression that a high number of good looking guys are ALLOWED to be creepy. And less good looking people are blamed to be creepy not because of their approach, but because of their looks/social status.
With this, i don't want to be associated with "incel" mindsets, but i want to look at reality as i observe it objectively.
I am now 38. It's totally impossible to interact with a girl. Basically even saying "hi" could be seen as sexual harassment.
I am italian, but actually i look very mediterranean-like. with some evident middle eastern tracts that WERE a serious bullyism problem back in teen age days.
maybe it's just that love, in certain contexts is driven by racist mentalities.
maybe in some places you MUST grow up with people since childhood in order to be accepted and open the way for future social life.
Maybe i was really in the wrong place.
Now i'm not looking, because work opportunities i meet may need me to move out someday not too far and possibly emigrate.
So i feel like i'm in need to settle down, with a girl in a healthy relationship.
problem is, that i am not motivated. i want it, but i feel it impossible to achieve. And still, i FEAR being treated like a stalker or a sexual harasser just because i told "hi" to someone. I don't want this risk. i want to respect people. I don't know even what to begin with.
What should i do to begin talking to a girl i like without resulting creepy? or am i "creepy" because i'm not "good looking" for some girl? Because here, i got the impression that a high number of good looking guys are ALLOWED to be creepy. And less good looking people are blamed to be creepy not because of their approach, but because of their looks/social status.
With this, i don't want to be associated with "incel" mindsets, but i want to look at reality as i observe it objectively.
