Posting Pictures 20-years Younger? Why?

[Anonymous]

My friend, 30-year-old male, is interested in finding a woman to date. He found a woman on social media who he is interested in. He told her he is interested in finding a woman his own age. She wouldn't tell him his age but sent pictures that looked like she was in her late 20's.

They finally meet and she must have been in her 50's. She admitted that those pictures she sent him was taken 20-years ago.

I understand that people would put up pictures 3 or 5 years younger than themselves. Maybe they feel insecure about their looks. But 20-years younger? That's a whole different ballgame. Why would a person do that?

Updates

+1 y

I'm taking Psychology in college and I'm trying to understand why some people do the things they do.

[slatyb]

They are desperate and have a magical belief that if someone gets to know them then their age won't matter. Instead the first impression they give is that they are a liar. Fudging ones age a couple of years is not so bad if the pictures are honest. Putting up decades-old pictures will only lead to grief and a reinforcement of their insecurity.

[Anonymous]

Only she (or that person) could answer, but my guess in insecurities and using manipulation (intentionally or subconsciously) to "get dates" (because she doesn't feel attractive now) but hopes when guys meet her they'll like her. But they fail to realize that makes them look really bad right off the bat.

[Massageman]

Helps to ensure at least the FIRST meeting. Whether someone else thinks is is an unpardonable sin, or just part of social media, is up to them.
It IS interesting to see what "a few extra pounds" means to different people, though. :- )

I would think that in many cases regarding age, most people will fudge a year or two, or use different months just as a simple method to help shield their identity. No harm done, in my opinion, if that's the case. But a 20 turning into a 50? THAT is a bit of a stretch even for me!

[Anonymous]

to get a chance that probably would have been lost had she shown her real self? that's the only reason I can come up with. It's deceiving and should not happen but it happens more often than we think. The good thing is you get to meet the person and find out the truth, then you decide if you really feel any attraction to how the real person looks or not and if you want to pursue anything more with said person.. If not just don't dwell on this type of thing and move on to find someone that is worth your time. people lie all the time if it's not in photos it's in other aspects. you just need to be on alert and see who lies and the reasons why they do it that will determine if the person is good for you or not.

[Opinion Owner]

Also with all the filters of today, it probably wasn't even an old photo, perhaps its photo taken the very same day that will make you look ten times younger simply by using a filter. the world today is kind of scary if you really think about it. Everyone looking all nice in photos and even videos with filters, most people are afraid to post real photos and real videos now because they look rather unappealing in comparison to the rest who have been filtered, so those people are either somewhat discouraged form posting their stuff or post it just like the others do full of filters.. even just a filter lighting changes your age, blemishes and wrinkles disappear.

[DarkWinterNights]

At 20 years that’s definitely considered catfishing. Not sure why so many people do this, but It seems to be people mentally trapped in the past. I think it’s a safe bet that there is mental illness involved.

[Asker]

From what I understand, "catfishing" is when someone uses another person's pictures as their own. They can even create a completely new identity. In this case they are hiding something and no one will find out because they don't intend to meet anyone. In the above example, this person intends to meet the person.

[Nidal_AA]

Looool 20 years dam... Im guessing grandma wanted to seem attractive but she forgot that people would tell when they see her irl

[Asker]

I'm wondering if people who do this have a mental health/illness issue.

[Nidal_AA]

I dont think i know psychology half as much as you... But to me, yes they need help and treatment

[exitseven]

She probably knew that if she looked 50 your friend would not even want to meet her, It is dishonest and wastes everybody's time.

[Asker]

My Dad has a friend who has his PhD in Physics. He is one of the smartest people I know and I have great respect for him. He has a profile on Match. com and he says he is 6 feet 2 inches tall. However, he is only 5 feet4 inches tall. It's hard for me to accept that he is a dishonest person. I want to make up reasonable excuses as to why he does this.

[exitseven]

There is no excuse except that he is insecure about his height. Here is a really accomplished guy who thinks that being short makes him undateable. I suppose he figures that when women see how tall he is they just discount him out of hand. It is really kind of sad for everyone involved.

[exitseven]

I suppose I can sympathize. I am 51 yearsold and work in IT. I have been unemployed since covid started. It is hard for somebody my age to get hired. Everyone wants young people. I graduated college later in life and if you looked at my graduation dates you might think I am younger than I am. I do not purposely mislead people but do not go out of my way to list my real age either. I have phone interviews that go really well but when I show up in person I can tell right away that I am not whet they expected and I never get hired.

[Snsl153]

I can understand why someone would do something like this (ex. if they're insecure about their appearance, or can't accept the fact they're getting old), but even so it's still stupid and wrong.

[driven159]

That is the issue with social media people lie about themselves and can get away with it and waste peoples time

[gabby100]

he's 30 , she is 20, in my counting that is 10 years different. And why not have a bit of age difference. I think its great..

[Cowboy6666]

She wrote that lady is in her 50s.

[gabby100]

@Cowboy6666 Sorry i read it wrong , but still the same answer. If they are happy who can deny them..

[Cowboy6666]

Lol you are right 😉

[AvaOneLasTime]

Deceit. For her own advantage.

[Asker]

But surely this person must realize her lie is too great. I understand if someone posts a picture 5-years younger and can get away with it.

[AvaOneLasTime]

Some people show up 10 to 15 kilograms overweight :D

[Asker]

That's a good point. I've even heard of stories where it's more. The same with height. The lie has to be believable though. These lies aren't. I would think they would feel embarrassed to meet anyone. Maybe they have tendencies towards being a sociopath. Some of the signs of being a sociopath is:
Not understanding the difference between right and wrong.
Not respecting the feelings and emotions of others.
Constant lying or deception.

[spartan55]

What is it with you girls and having to 'understand' everything? You know that's not realistic, right?

[Snsl153]

Of course, because it's better to remain completely ignorant and in the dark, and not bother with trying to understand why things are the way they are. If humanity had followed your advice, the human race would still be stuck in the Stone Age.

[spartan55]

Oh please, you know as well as I do that the OP will never get the answers. As I said, there isn't an elaborate explanation or understanding for everything.
Actually humanity would have been wiped out if they followed your advice and not recognized when something is not worth bogging down.

[Asker]

I did get the answers I was looking for. It seems to me that people who post pictures 20-years younger than themselves and don't think much of it, not only are insecure but could be borderline sociopaths. 4 common traits of a sociopath are:
Not understanding the difference between right and wrong.
Not respecting the feelings and emotions of others.
Constant lying or deception.
Being callous.

This includes people who grossly lie about their weight, age and height, and other things. For example, if a woman says she only wants to meet men who are at least 6 feet tall and a man claims he is 6 feet 2 inches so she agrees to meet. And he is only 5 feet 2 inches. He didn't tell the truth and he doesn't think much of it.

[Vikkrram]

Woo amazed to read that

[Anonymous]

He’s immature.

[Asker]

It seems to me that an immature and/or insecure person would post younger pictures. But 20-years youngers is a different story. I'm wondering if people who do this have a mental health/illness issue.

[Opinion Owner]

I’d say that’s very possible.