Don't we all need to know as much as possible about a partner before entering into a committed relationship?
Are you comfortable with going by your instincts alone or do you want to know more about someone before turning your heart over to them for safe keeping?
Just wondering?
Share your thoughts and feelings with us... PLEASE?
YES! You hit the nail on the head! I want to know the details of my partner before getting into marriage or a more commited relationship
No, I don't need to know that much about my partner, my instincts will protect me
OTHER, see my comments below, or just open the "Puzzle Pieces in Dating" Survey
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Is dating a matter of collecting puzzle pieces to make sure they come together in a picture that you like prior to commitment?
I don't need to know much about a woman other than looks and personality before deciding to date exclusively. Dating exclusively, being boyfriend-girlfriend, is a sort of commitment, right? Being comfortable with each other and seeing each other all the time is how we will gradually get to know more about each other. We'll see how things go from there.
The main thing at first is hitting it off - "clicking" - liking each other. If we like each other enough to enter into a relationship and become infatuated, that's good enough to make the relationship sexual. I really like women who love sex but reserve it for monogamous relationships.
I'm not into women who are uptight about sex. I admire sexually active women who are enthusiastic about life and don't hold back once they are in a relationship. If she has a good personality, self esteem, and good values, I don't inquire about her past. I don't do interviews, background checks or resumes.
I never entered in a relationship with the attitude of knowing that I wanted to marry her. A relationship should just be joyful. It's like finding a best friend to hang out with, go places and do things with, engage in conversations and, yes, have unbridled sex.
usually, yes... I do like to get to know someone first and know them well, know them better... "collect those key puzzle pieces" you refer to
however, for the last time I kind of made an exception... because I went with my instinct, my gut, the vibes and that familiar sense of "just knowing"
and just by the way she approached me that very first time, I got that feeling that "she's does feel like she could be great" and then yes, towards the few next years, day by day... did confirm that she was indeed, even better than I thought she would be
I will "date" a girl before I have thoroughly gotten to know her, but I wouldn't make an official relationship commitment until I have. I am very up-front about that too.
Don't get me wrong, I don't date around - I'm a "one girl at a time" kind of guy - but I'm upfront that "dating" to me is exploring the other person and seeing if the two of you have long-term relationship potential. I'll generally know within 3-6 months (usually closer to the former) if there is long term potential.
This evaluation is based on finding out her morals, values, attitudes and behavior. Those are what is going to determine the success or failure of a relationship in the long run.
"Dating" is about spending time together and talking and seeing the other person interact with the world and the challenges that come along, and enjoying the fun times, but the hard times are what really reveals how the other person is. And that's important to know before you commit yourself to another person.
Most people (men and women alike) focus on very shallow aspects of the other person (looks, style, money, lifestyle), but those things are not predictors of long-term relationship success. That's like buying a used car based strictly on the paint color - there's a good chance that you will both overpay AND end up walking.
In my opinion it’s best to really get to know someone before giving your heart completely to them. Most people don’t show their true colors in the beginning of meeting someone new , because it is new and exciting and most people will base someone off of the initial attraction and think to themselves this person is great without looking at the big picture , so it’s best to make sure you both have great chemistry and connection and similarities first before you fully give someone your heart. Having a lot in common is important , opposites do attract but it’s important to know if those opposites are going to be something you can handle in the long run , Most people will just except the differences because it is new and exciting but eventually the things you really enjoy you start to miss and think wow I really don’t have much in common with this person and then things eventually turn bad , So the little things that you enjoy are important or you and your new partner will eventually get bored of each other cuz you really don’t have much to share with each other , why it’s best to be honest with someone you have a lot of interest in. Instead of sugar coating it to get them to stand by your side
I found out a puzzle like that can be pretty hard, to both get the pieces together and to assemble it, so you can finally get the results. I thought I had it once. I went to a dating coach and said "I'm done with my puzzle. And it took me a shorter time than was called for, 1 year. So where is my guy?" He looked at my puzzle and replied, "You got it all together in just a 24 piece puzzle? How do you figure you got it in a shorter time than it takes other people?" I proudly said, "Well, I did it all in one year, when on the box it said 5-8 years.
When I first met the man who is not my husband over 20 years ago, I was placed in a situation where I had to talk to him because I was a server at a restaurant. It was somewhat of a forcedvmeeting, but I chose to flirt and he somewhat flirted back and got to know a little bit about him that day. We were both fairly smitten with each other but did get to know each other and about each other’s families as we progressed down the dating road. I was a little overwhelmed with some aspects of his life because he is from a large family, and they are all wonderful caring people. The dynamic in my own family is much different, we love each other but we are not shall we say, just like best friends either. In the end, we decided that the benefits of each other outweighed any negatives we found and got married, and neither of us regret it one bit :-)
I personally would have to do the get to know vetting process which I assume most would. Rose colored lenses have a way of overshadowing instincts to a degree, but depending on how well you know yourself you can have instincts as sharp as a tac.
Very few times were my instincts giving me indicators early on or on the initial meeting, and the few times they did was nice, but it's not always easy to see or acknowledge.
I meant to pick "other" but the page glitched, I don't actually use dating for that, dating is what I do AFTER I already have all the puzzle pieces (besides what it feels like to be with her sexually). I refuse to date a person unless I already know everything about them. Friendship phase is better for figuring that stuff out.
Yeah, I guess. It's not that simple though. People change and you can know someone for years and find out new facts about them. I think it's important to except the picture (person) you find as well. Not be upset that they were not the person you expected or thought.
Obviously A, but don't expect perfection. Nobody is perfect, expecting perfection from someone is stupid. You may get a good match but not a perfect match. Unfortunately, people nowadays wait too long for a perfect match.
Before the days of social media and internet searches, it was done the old fashioned way of communicating and getting g to know the other person. You had to invest in the time together. Considering the current divorce rate to what it used to be, I think the old way had better results.
Some, but as well I think more learning about them and yourself, learning to communicate and work together effectively. I think there are key things to look at up front as to whether you want to go any further... primarily values, goals.
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