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I think there may be some misconceptions, particularly about guys, not really wanting a LTR. So. . . when you are dating, do you have the idea that if you find the right partner (and if they feel the same way,) you are willing to settle into a long term relationship? Or are you closed to that possibility? I am NOT asking if you start every first date thinking or even hoping that this person is THE ONE; I am just asking if you are open to a committed relationship if you meet the right partner.
I was married for over 20 years, it wasn’t a great experience for me, and it didn’t end well, so I’m in no hurry to get tied up in another LTR. I felt rushed into my marriage by my ex, who was terrified of being alone and we were both way too young.
But, just because that didn’t work out well doesn’t mean, if I met a good guy who I click with, that I wouldn’t be open to a LTR.
And I also don’t do hook-ups, I can’t separate out sex from my feelings. There needs to be a level of trust for me first. But I only seem to attract guys in their 20’s who just want sex and to play games. I seem younger than I am so they also panic when they find out my real age.
But what I don’t get why it has to be either a casual nothing or an immediate lifelong commitment? I feel like I’m looking for a unicorn, but can’t there be a middle ground of meeting someone who doesn’t want to just hit and run, but who really likes you and is happy to just see how it goes and enjoy the ride without constantly needing you to commit to eternity?
I guess it’s different at my age, I’ve had my kids and don’t have that biological drive anymore. I would like to have a partner to share things with, but I’m not afraid to be alone either and if no-one comes along I’ll be content.
Yeah when I was dating it was in hopes it would develop into long term but now I don't want any guy rn.
Definitely open to it and I always have been. I think most guys fit into this category. Basically, we tend to approach dating like this: we're absolutely THRILLED to have a no-holds-barred sexual relationship with a hot girl who turns us on. We'd all love to do that all day along. If it ALSO turns out that she's super cool to hang with and we love being around her even when we're NOT having sex, then that's the girl you want to have a long-term exclusive relationship with.
So it's not as though the most appropriate advice for women is "don't give up sex early because if you do, you're toast for a long term relationship." Rather, I think the most widely correct advice would be, "it's fine to have sex early on if you'd like to do that--just make sure you ALSO have other things to offer if you want a long term relationship." Especially for hot girls, this part may be their sticking point. And they often don't realize it because they don't get honest feedback in the real world.
Its strange for me to understand that people would just want a casual hookup relationship. It would seem weird to show yourself in such detail and then just throw that person away. Like what?
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I'm answering this question as I felt after I divorced my wife of 20 years. I started dating, looking first of all for fun and open to sex if it happened, and thinking maybe the possibility of a LTR, though I wasn't actively looking for one. I found an LTR in my SO... we've been together for 7 years and counting.
I don’t date at all if the long term relationship is not the goal of the other person. I am not interested in wasting my time with people not worth it.
s So so so many women fall into the trap of if he really loves me he will only want me!
Which is true in solid relationships but those never get close to solid or secure.
Course you give him the option he will go outside of you for sex.
Women do this a lot also in bi and lesbian relationships.
We are ldr so open cause I wanna know but hope they won't? Yet they still won't tell you cause why cause drama when you will never find out? 😒
I keep my options open. A long-term relationship would be great, but I don't think about it until I can tell she's long term relationship material.
I have no interest in dating at this point. There is always a chance at a miracle but it's the same chance I take playing the lottery.
When i ask a woman out it's to see if she's ready for a long term relationship or just out for fun, and rude way I respect her desires, being young as it goes your supposed to go out have fun with as many different women for some that works fine for others it's not their way, don't have time to juggle multiple women or have an ego to stoke in that sense, only one good lady is needed, that's been my viewwhen í get involved with a woman, most men guys dudes how ever you refer to males, to them it's a game, how many women can you sleep with move on to next, and that's cool if your into those game, but i have always known what i seek in a woman and who and how I am as a man, and it's not than I couldn't behave in that way I didn't have time to, saw no need to, I'm very selective in the sense, thati don't just approach any woman to ask out just like that, it's a long term partner I seek
When I was still single, I was open to it. Doesn't mean I dated exclusively or for that matter that I would commit myself from date one even if many women think that's what a guy should do in order to pass as serious.
Women avoid men who don't commit to the dream of a relationship even before they've met saying stuff like they don't want to waste their time. Apparently a womans time is so valuable that she can't give three dates worth of time to a guy figuring out if she's the one he want to commit to while she has no problem asking him for years of his time to commit into a relationship that more often than not fails. Who's wasting whose time?
I would be careful about people who want a relationship before they've decided who/what type of person they want that with.
I'm 27 now and honestly my hope of finding a partner for long term fell pretty much into the abyss. I do have some kind of desire but dont have the energy and enthousiasm to search and persue girls anymore. Earlier I tried approaching girls at uni (though that happened very rarely), tried to meet some via instagram and had some online dating apps. Since none of these lead to anything I stopped, also I realised that in general it became harder (like girls reply far lesser on insta and more have set their profiles as private)
Sometimes I'm good with the short term. If she's a girl who'll be fun and beneficial for a few months or even just weeks while I visit a place or just dont plan on much more. I think those relationships are fine. But if its just sex or for something to do giggity, then it's gotta be some insane shit she's pulling.
But short term is a fine concept I think. I'd rather have a few short terms and then my one long term. If that doesn't work, then maybe my past short terms could go longer. It's always an investment or should be.
When I was young, I just wanted a girlfriend. Dating around held no interest for me. I just wanted to find someone I liked, and stick with her.
Now, it's more about company. Someone who can carry on a good conversation. Someone to do things with. If they happen to be someone to get serious with, then I'm open to it. At this stage in the game, it would be the last chance to grow old together. So if it happens, I hope it's a good one.
Older, not open because I've "retired" from dating. I figured if I haven't found what I'm looking for by now, I'm not going to, so why go through the headache? One of them has stuck around for the last 20 years, so I've got someone to scratch an itch if I need it.
I've dated with the goal of meeting people with the possibility of it progressing. I don't just date to find a future spouse. I'm not that desperate to get married. It's not like I'm on some mission.
It's more laid back than that. It's fun to meet people and maybe spend time with a person you hit it off with really well. Have some fun with another human being, get to know them. If it turns into a relationship then fantastic, if it doesn't proceed further then it us what it is and you meet someone else.
28 and never dated.
Though if wanted a casual relationship, I've read and learnt that I should be clear to let her know.
So I'd be clear I whatever move I make.
I won't go for only fuck buddies, but friends with benefits. She has to agree to have fun from flirting through text up to having sex, while she fully understands that I have no interest in settling down with her.
Now may it happen that I find her interesting enough to settle down.. that might happen. Though never originally planned if I were looking for a casual relationship.
I'm a relationship type of guy. If i meet a girl, and i like her enough to continue going out with her, i will want to date. I won't just go have sex and never talk again.
If i don't like her, i just stop going out with her. Even before any sexual interaction.
As for relationships, i see every relationship and invest in them, as if they are forever. I mean, who would invest time, money, among other things, if we tought the relationship would be over?
If it doesn't workout, fine, at least i will give it my best.
Casual isn't my thing. We are not just meat. If my life doesn't allow for a relationship in that point in time, i just don't go on dates.
I'm young and attractive and looking for fun. I want everyday a different dick fucking me so how would a long term relationship benefits me?
I feel that a lot of people are searching for something, but not everyone will find what they're looking for. Times have changed a lot and relationships are definitely changing. I'm curious to see the changes for our future.
Really , I'm always looking for long term , and I had long term until recently , mainly of course honestly because of my age , but I'm highly sexual so that has to be a big part of it , fortunately here many options , but because I dont do ( my rules for 25 years ) Bar girls , massage girls , freelance , golf caddys , that cuts down the field quite a bit.
But , I always seem to find one , its just keeping it going long term.
Happy New Year all , hope you had a great one !
25, and I am open to the possibiity mentioned in the question. However, if I were to measure my chances of achieving, I would need negative numbers to represent it (yeah, I know that probability cannot be a negative number, it's just to show my attitude).
I don't date with any ither intent than such. Fundamentally, I'd only seek a long term romantic relationship as an act of requested charity, to provide companionship with a few hard-and fast rules, which when broken three times, means I end seeing them and they're out of my home.
To this body and mind, such a relationship is entirely unnecessary for joy.
Always have as I believe happiness comes from experiencing things with loved ones. The purpose of dating should be to find a partner that you can sail through life with.
However, recently I've changed and I'm open to short term right now. I've only been in long term relationships in the past, but women don't value the same things as me in a partner and never will. My past 3 relationships I was hoping to get married, but got dumped each time 😂
It's to the point where one day if I ever become really financially well off, I'd say "Fuck girls. Who needs em? They couldn't take me at my low, so why should they deserve me at my best?"
If I ever become financially well off, I'd still try to play a broke guy. It would be the only way I'm able to filter the girls that are with me for me and not money.
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