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(Nice guy turns into bad guy) Why should I continue being a nice guy if nice guys just get walked all over? Am I mistaken? (Page 2)
Anonymous
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You can still be a good guy in general without being a nice guy that’s spineless or pussy whipped. You are right tho about being nice to women doesn’t get you anywhere. Look up ams or darius m on youtube they give actual good advice to guys about getting laid.
Be a kind guy; not a nice guy. There's a difference.
The golden words!!!🤯🤯💯💯💯
@The_Shadow_Dweller yes nice is linked to others kindness is within.
I think nice and kind are the same. It’s different when someone’s a pushover and pretends to be nice with a fake persona. Which many men and women, guys and girls have
@pass_the_celery98 What’s the difference between nice and kind? Generally, niceness involves doing something that is pleasing or agreeable. By contrast, kindness is doing something that is helpful to others, or that comes from a place of benevolence. Kindness is often expressed through actions that you take for other people, while niceness typically involves more superficial words or simple gestures. A nice person may tell a neighbor that they are sorry that they are sick — while a kind person may drop off some soup or offer to pick up groceries for them.
Niceness expecta reciprocity while kindness is rooted in altruism. They overlap but they are different.
@pass_the_celery98 www.google.com/.../nice-vs-kind-why-does-it-matter
Honestly if a girl says I’m a nice guy, in a belittling, and she doesn’t know me why would I care? I’m sure girls won’t care if a guy said something about a girl that was inaccurate. They are just words, as the saying goes actions speak louder then words.
You can be a good guy and still be confident. It’s the confidence that turns girls on, not the asshole part.
I know what you are saying. But being the “good guy” is very very hard. It requires quick judgment, insight and thinking to be masculine in the right moments and “nice” in the others. Very few guys are naturally like this.
Not to say he can’t be like this. He can. But remember the pressure is almost always on the man’s shoulders when it comes to dating. We are expected to approach, set a date, lead the conversation, go for the kiss and more. We got to lead and be decisive.
In essence that’s a good thing. However modern feminism is doing all it can to screw that up and confuse both men and women. You need to be aware of the position guys are in nowadays. It’s not easy.
Should you change because of someone... nah man.
Adapt and learn from each experience.
Communicate better.
Set better expectations.
And accept the other person as who they are; try not to expect out of them what they can't provide.
You shouldn't have to be too nice or too bad... just yourself.
Just my take. 😁
It isn't universally true, plenty of women like nice guys. But you can generally not ask women this question lol... many will either accuse you of being a fake nice guy who is manipulative, or flat out deny it.
We guys know what's true and what isn't. Until a certain age, women crave excitement over stability, and who can blame them for that? If it works for you to be a little sharp-tongued and throw subtle shade at your dates... do it!
I understand when 14 yo. boys propagate such theories like yours, because they don't know it better.
Again, it's only about looks and your confidence, nothing else really matters. Unless you're surrounded with gold diggers who want your money or they want to promote themselves with your status.
You are mistaken! At least to me, the guys that win after all is said and done, are the nice guys.
Do you really think a good guy really wants girls who have been plowed by 10 narcissts to settle down with? They want a girl who is good from the beginning.
@mantelk You'd judge someone for that/ slut shame them? Can people not change, man or woman?
I don't judge them. I don't shame them. Everyone is free to be whatever they want. I just would not go out with them.
When given the option of toxic lust or love, the girls chose toxic lust. Then when it's over they want love. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Girls often say where are all the good men? Well, a lot of them just stay out of society and pursue academics or spirituality. Choices matter in life. You can't make wrong choices and want good results. This goes for men too by the way. Guys that become players and use women, they are never going to be able to get a good woman. If they do, they will end up in a divorce sooner or later. It's just not how it works.
@mantelk Plus that's not what was asked. At least I like to think people can change. We all have pasts and whatnot.
Yes but a person who chose more to do the right things in the past deserves the kind of person that they like and respect more
@mantelk If you say so.
@mantelk Some people have the worst pasts, and really shaped up now. And if they told you, you'd have no idea they went down the worst path.
Most guys would be with you despite your past. I wouldn't but that's just me
@mantelk ** shrugs** you do you. :-)
I spent long time thinking about what you just said. I had some girlfriends but also was rejected by some too. I decided to just be myself and if people didn't like it it would be their loss.
LOL, you were not a nice guy in a first place if you are throwing a tantrum that women don't want to feck you so you turn into a bad guy.
@Squaresquirrel
You do realize your logic is like someone complaining they've been bullied all throughout high school and you then going "well, with a negative attitude like that, you deserve to be bullied. KYS and save us all some time." You have absolutely no empathy for a guy like this, when you'll never in your life have to experience anything like it. Not that I expect a 23 year old modern woman to have empathy.
@MCheetah You are right, I have no empathy for self-pity. by the way, I am also autistic. I will never understand people in general. And men neither. I also don't believe in babying someone. Brutal honesty, and quit lying to yourself. That is the only thing that helps.
Nice? What does it even mean?
What nice is for me, might differ for you.
He might think he is nice, by the way nice people are probably the fakest people because they don't show their true self most of the time, but "look at me, I'm nice, why don't you like me?" And they will die of cancer because of the build up resentment.
Also, it is a tantrum if "I don't succeed as a nice guy, so I will turn into an arsehole" extreme to extreme, like a child.
Unfortunately, he won't succeed either way, women can smell desperation miles away.
I COULD say that brutal honesty might help, except you gave him crap pretty much just for not kissing women's asses (the same women who treated him horribly), which we all know would make him look "pathetic and needy" in the eyes of women anyway if he DID kiss their asses like you're implying here, so it's a lose-lose scenario anyway and generally just sh*tty advice you have him.
And yeah, you are right. Why TF SHOULD he be nice if people don't appreciate it? I'm not talking about him being fake nice to get laid, aka a "Nice Guy."
If I was an asshole like you're implying me to be, I'd wonder why I was wasting time with someone who admitted they're a literal retard with no people skills. Good thing I'm not an asshole.
@MCheetah Are you implying I am the retard? It is really good that you are not an arsehole then HAHAHAHA
Stop projecting your own shite and basically putting words in my mouth.
The right woman would never allow someone to be treated that poorly. You just have to find someone who appreciates kindness. You're still young and I believe you'll meet someone. Keep being nice. It pays off in the long term.
ITS NOT ABOUT BEING NICE
https://www.youtube.com/embed/LMr6Qb0_5kMhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/EmBYV4kxS4wturn to Christ
and be good for him
cause he loves you
the rest of these idiots on the earth could give a rip
about you
but GOD Christ loves you
GLORY TO MY CHRIST ABOVE THE DOME
As a nice guy… can you engage a group of women… hold a good conversation, be confident, emotionally available?
"It is complicated to explain why this works" interesting way to say that you don't understand how boundaries work and have no sense of self-worth.
You're missing what they actually like about bad boys. All you're going to do is lose the girl but in a different way. Dude I've already lived your life. The hard way is sometimes the only way to learn.
You figured it right, don't take opinion of women in this matter. You can't learn how to hunt by asking hunts, remember that.. but u can learn how to hunt by taking advices of hunters my friend ; )
Just pump and dump.
What makes you think you're good? Just be yourself, don't be good for the girls, do it for yourself. Also, being good doesn't mean being rejected by womens.
If you're real with yourself, women's will notice that. Be real.
If the girls you pursue only like bad guys, then you are going after the wrong girls.
You're not a nice guy anyway. What you're saying is that you'll drop the act.
How do you know I’m not a nice guy
Obviously I can only judged based on what you're telling us.
Don't be an idiot, stay true good guys are fare, consider the type of women you keep around before you be an ass and a fake ass mf, no one wants a faker, if we did we would all be wrestling fans.
being a "nice guy" is stupid. be competent and choose who you wanna be nice to. only a moron would be a doormat to people. if that's what you did, well hope you learned that lesson.
Standing up for what is right and inspiring others with leadership and kidness willl always be the best. I think you just need to learn to say no and don't let others put aside your own goals and stop being afraid to be liked by everyone.
... And this is part of why there is low quality. Men keep on adapting to low quality instead of walking away.
I’m done moving mountains for girls bro.
Yes, but as long as you are adapting to what they want, you are still playing their game.
Sorry you can't turn into a bad guy. We "Bad guys" dont treat females bad. We are just called bad by nerds.
"nice" "good" and "kiss ass" are three different things
If you let women walk on you then you're not nice or good your a kiss ass
If you expect something for your deeds then you're nice
If you don't need something in return then you're good
There seems to be an edgy stigma against "nice" guys. I personally don't understand it nyself. Nice guys and gals are great to be around. I fully get the feeling that giving too much of yourself will eat away at your very soul. It happened to me.
The stigma arises from women trying to paint nice guys as someone who is not truly nice. This was done so they can justify why they don't go for nice guys and go for douchebags most of the time and thus can still feign moral superiority of caring about personality more than looks. Reality is personality is not far up on women's priority when it comes to the men she is attracted towards.
Funny, but I saw that same guy (the guy on the alpha male YouTube channel) on TV , as a spokesperson for a hair loss treatment company.
nah brother, dont turn into a bad boy for no one. just be yourself but of course this doesn't stop you from being a little more tough
No woman is worth sacrificing who you're. I struggled with this too when younger & that's the conclusion I came to.
I think it depends, if he is nice genuinely that’s good but he is nice only to certain situation or to a certain people only then it’s fake. Make sure you are nice in general. Otherwise its over acting which makes you look bad
I agree. Being a good person by acting is malicious. It is better to be a bad person than be a fake good person. I find non-toxic women respect authenticity.
I don't think good men won't be good to pedophiles. Not everyone can be kind to absolutely everyone
@SeanshterMonster Well maybe I misspoke. I am no good to bad people.
If you’re willing to be mean to girls than you aren’t a nice guy that you say you are.
You can be a nice guy (in the REAL sense) without letting people walk all over you.
young women confuse arrogance for confidence, so jerks do better, up until about 20 and then it starts to flip
Up until about 20? 😂 Suuuuuuure, that makes total sense.
Genuine nice guys aren't nice because it benefits them, they do it because it's the right thing to do.
It usually ends up benefiting others.
So you're gonna change just so that women will be interested in you or whatever?
Sounds like a lot of effort just to get someone to like you
Nice guys should continue to be nice helpful well-behaved guys.
Your reward for being so, will result in rewards further down the line
Nice Boys don't play rnr. Angry Anderson. GNR cover.
Yeah dont be a nice guy. Worst thing possible to do.
It sounds to me like your issue is just lacking confidence around women and being a complete pushover.
You won't be able to "become" that type of guy if it's not in you.
Has your theory about being mean to girls borne any fruit?
You Just have to be who you are, even If it means you get walked over. You will find The one for you eventually so Just keep trying!
It’s always the nice guys that aren’t so nice
Welcome to survival of the fittest/social capitalism. Kindness/charity is not profitable.
They both look creepy.
just be a nice bad guy. Don't cross the line.
I think they just mean. Dont be fake
You are right in some ways
Can’t change who you are
its simple. be youself. fuck the haters
Netjong
no reason to