Being a nice guy is your nature. Being a Bad Boy doesn’t mean being a dick. As far as cheating, he most likely will get away with it the first time possibly the second. But if he continues, she will start looking for that next bad boy.
A bad boy is someone that can handle all the tough shit life throws at you. Bad boys don’t want a girlfriend to be their mommy. Girls don’t want to be smothered with kindness. But you still have to be kind.
They need to see a guy that isn’t going to constantly blow up her phone or always becomes insecure, constantly wanting her attention and going about it in ways that aggravate.
Women want to be with men other women want. If that bad boy chooses her, her headlights come on and her panties come off.
Bad boys look bad and so when a woman is out and about with one, nobody is going to bother her. If other guy’s already known she is with a badass, and she happens to be out and about without him, EVERYONE knows not to harass her.
For women, it is a natural instinct they have about feeling safe with a guy, having a protector, that will protect not just her, but any children they have together. Even if they don’t. It is just natural.
Women need to know that guys can take care of themselves, are responsible, and women can look at a guy and if he doesn’t have that bad boy vibe, HE AIN’T GOOD IN BED. Nice guys can’t and don’t know how to lay pipe.
Tattoos help with that image. It shows he doesn’t care about being looked down on by those too good for tatts. He is his own man. Accept who he is, for who he is, and if someone can’t, they can fuck off. He isn’t going to change who he is to match the opinions of those around him.
Bad boys need to be a teddy bear when she needs comforting. If she knows he can be a dick, when necessary, but is never a dick to her, imagine how special that makes her feel.
You basically said it, but I wanna add for OP-let your yes be yes and your no be no. Don’t be swayed (although be humble enough to admit when you’re clearly wrong-I’m talking more about committments). That’s another way to show confidence which is what we wanna see-not a pushover.
i would disagree about nice guys not being able to as you put it "lay pipe" all men have issues with "laying pipe" at some point in their life regardless of how you act socially. in addition to that there is more ways to peel an peach so to speak than just intercourse. most bad boys will just cum and dump and if the girl orgasms thats her bonus if not o well better sleep with him again and hope he lets you finish right? meanwhile nice guys are just that nice and they tend to value and care about a womans pleasure just as much as their own and thus tend to provide more orgasms.
Girls don’t like bad boys because they’re jerks, they like them because so many guys act like they’re all nice and sweet until you deny them sex and then get all entitled, rude, and even violent at times. With bad boys, what you see is what you get. You can be a good man and a bad boy at the same time. Bad boy doesn’t mean asshole.
That aside, don’t change yourself just to get girls. If you do, you’ll never know if they truly like you or if you just like this facade that you put on. If you don’t, the right girls will come along. Have some confidence in yourself - that’s what’s truly attractive and one of the main reasons why girls like bad boys.
However, listen to this:
the ‘bad boys’ that I knew in high school were actually just assholes that no one in my school liked aside from their friends. Only when they showed their sensitive side to girls did they really get attention, but that was only to a few select girls. Every time their name was mentioned to everybody except those girls and these guys friends, you could practically hear the whole room collectively rolling their eyes or groaning in annoyance just by the mere mention of their name. These kids were loud-mouthed assholes that thought that being jerks to almost every girl and being sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, antisemitic assholes would make them popular. It didn’t. It made almost every person - certain teachers included (although they never admitted it, you could see it in their eyes/hear it in their tone) - hate them with a passion. These boys with their “bad boy” attitude just annoyed everyone rather then attract them.
Change is always possible, but you’re talking about changing the wrong parts of you. What you consider a “bad guy” and a “nice guy” are not what women see. The “bad guy” that gets all the girls is actually just telling them what they want to hear. He’s a manipulator, putting on a facade and pretending to be someone he’s not in the name of having easy access to sex because he doesn’t see women as people. What you call a “nice guy” is not actually a good person. These are the same people but they simply work in the opposite way, where your bad boys take advantage of passionate feelings, nice guys take advantage of platonic ones. They pretend to be friends, they play along with the role they’ve assigned themselves because they believe that the woman shares the same attraction when that’s not how platonic relationships work for women. When they find out she’s not attracted to him at all and only wants to stay friends, the “nice guys” suddenly berate them, telling them off for rejecting them, that they deserve a relationship because they’ve been so nice to them this whole time and it’s not fair.
With all this in mind, I’m sure you can understand why women have a hard time trusting men they’ve just met because as much as it hurts to think some guy sees you as just an easy lay, it hurts all the more to know someone you thought was your friend only saw you as an object to be won. You don’t need to become an asshole, you just need to be patient before you find someone you can connect with.
It's possible, but for true, long-lasting change, you have to do it for your own reasons, not because of women in general.
Don't think of it from a "Good guy/bad guy" perspective.
Think of it as valuing your time. Don't give precious time to women who aren't interested in you.
"Bad guys" whether they are aware of it or now, operates on this concept. They know there's always another woman.
"Nice guys" who don't have other options are under pressure to get a woman, so when one comes by, they offer ALL their time, killing their own demand in that woman's eyes.
If you're available 24/7 to a woman, that's nice, but the guy who's only available 2hrs that same day, is going to get the attention. He doesn't have to be "mysterious"; he's unavailable compared to Mr. 24/7. Also, in that 2hr window, he's having impactful conversation.
He's making that time count.
If a woman is interested, she'll make time for your schedule. THEN, you can make time for that woman.
If that time is abused, pull back. You have to be willing to walk away from a woman.
Be respectful, but value your time.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
9 mo
There is no “absolute” 100% category of being a nice guy vs. asshole. But there are behaviors that turn women off despite no matter how much they tell you otherwise.
Try this. Try to view yourself via 3rd person. Imagine watching some other guy getting taking advantage of because he’s too available. Too agreeable. It’s easy to get angry and want to criticize him to toughen up. Ironically nice guys are often more critical of other nice guys when we see them being exploited.
Yet we can’t see it the same way when it’s done to us? You now why? Because there is an idealistic hopeful (and self sabotaging) mindset we have by being nice to women. We are being “nice” because we have a subconscious agenda that they will reward us later. It’s called a covered contract.
Instead when you do something nice for a woman pretend you are just doing it for the sake of principle vs expecting something back from them. Like doing something nice for a woman you have no attraction for. You just want to brighten her day but you don’t expect anything in return. There is nothing wrong with that.
But would you do something nice for an unattractive woman who disrespects you? Hell no. It’s easy to be yourself in that scenario.
So try this mental trick. When you meet an attractive woman look at something unattractive about her. Imagine she’s got body odor, gas, smelly, etc. (everybody does at some point).
Find something wrong about her. A personality quirk (annoying laugh) and fixate on it for a good moment (not forever of course). It will take away the illusion she is some sort of goddess and remind you she’s human. Quirks and all. That will make it easier for you to be yourself. Treat her the same as any other woman. Be easier to tease her. Be easier to draw the line if she’s taking advantage of you.
So yes you can change. Don’t, if someone doesn’t like you for who you are. Don’t invest your time or energy into that. It’ll only end bad, with that being said. It’ll take time for you to learn more about yourself. So what helped me out, if the conversation is slow don’t be too eager to text back. Make time for yourself and think thoroughly. If you get into a relationship of any kind. You will loose time, energy, and money. While having a relationship isn’t based on that. It’s just something that you gotta keep in mind. Your time should be valuable! “Oh you want to talk to me?” Ok! Make the person see that you’re an absolute treasure! You’re playing video games? Set a 5-15 min timer after they text. You’re doing a job? Get that job done, then text back! Most importantly give respect and you shall earn respect. Be truthful! Tell them “oh I don’t want to do that. But, we can do something else!” Don’t waste people’s time! If you feel it’s not going to work out just stop it right there! It’ll end up horribly!
There’s a difference between being a “nice” guy and just being a man.
“Nice” guys are the ones with ZERO self-respect/self-esteem. They hang around the girls they’re infatuated with, letting them walk all over them, being a drip, being a shoulder to cry on while they date other guys and desperately hoping one day these “women” will realise how amazing they are and miraculously fall in love with them.
I used to know a classic “nice guy”. He would trail around behind one girl we worked with, basically doing her job for her and he was obsessed with this crazy housemate of his. He would even “lend” her, her part of the rent and bills when she spent her money on nights out and drugs etc. He even helped her to put up her new bed when the guy she was seeing at the time was going to stay over. Truly, truly embarrassingly pathetic! DON’T do this.
Don’t become the bad boy asshole who treats girls like crap and cheats on them, either. Just get a healthy dose of SELF-RESPECT! Know that if you deserve more than to be used and treated like an option. That you should never give up who you are for anyone else who isn’t prepared to meet your level of commitment. And can I just say for the record, and as a woman myself, that I HATE it that some girls do this. They’re just immature manipulative girls, not women.
'He even helped her set up her bed when the guy she was seeing was coming over to spend the night with her..'. That is, unequivocally, the most maddeningly erotic sentence I ever read in my entire life...
BadBoys aren’t bad guys. BadBoys are actually HotGuys who can get away with a lot of shT due to their Hottness.
You got it all wrong. To be considered a BadBoy you first have to be Extremely Extremely Muscular and Hot. They have ease with cheating because gorgeous women throw themselves at him. That’s all it is.
You can’t first “BE A BAD PERSON” to be considered a badboy. 😂😂😂😂😂 You’re just gonna look like an ugly asshole. Can’t get no girls asshole. @captain-obvious
Peter pretty much covered why women love bad boys and I second that.
As for the "how can you turn" into that.
Take it from somone who made the switch a while back.
The main keys are:
Have solid boundaries that you would never bend for anyone: never suplicate or reduce yourself as a way to please in an effort to be liked.
Never care what anyone thinks or has to say about you: live life unapologetically do what you want, wear what you want, say what you want and make sure there is conviction behind your words.
Last but not least, do not play a role: many men on this journey will start to turn into someone they're not in an effort to be "seen" as a bad boy, don't do that. You can remain a good man but as you do things that please you without hiding or apologizing your image will automatically change and you'll be a bad boy
Yeah, and tbh, to be a "bad boy", you don't even have to really be bad, you can just put off a bad boy kind of vibe by fitting the image. Ride a motorcycle, get a tattoo (or many), keep your facial hair kind of stubbly, how you dress, &c. Some guys do that kind of stuff naturally, because they like motorcycles, tattoos, and don't bother to shave every day, &c. But you can fake it if for some reason you don't like motorcycles, &c.
It's actually even better in terms of attracting women if you are a good boy with a bad boy image, because that's a lot of their dreams: to have a guy so tough and cool, but for her he's sweet, loving and kind.
The reality is the nice guys bore them, and the truly bad boys are jerks.
Yes, it's easily possible, although seriously, stay the good guy. Everyone ends up hating the 'bad buy' and those types of characters often have issues maintaining relationships, staying out of legal trouble, having a steady income, having solid, reliable friends, being seen as trustworthy, etc.
Trust me; I was the 'nice' guy from time to time (also the 'cool' guy - I got that a lot too, hah). In my experience, the nice guys are those who are there for the long-haul. And to be very honest, because I was respectful, nice, and kept myself in-check, I had a lot more female friends, and I ended up having a pretty fun 'extra-curricular' life as a result. Female friends would hook me up with their single friends or my friends and I would even hook up on occasion. So don't intentionally change your personality; people will see that and will leave you.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
9 mo
girls dont like cheating assholes. just dont be a wuss and you're good. dont need to act like a dick (that will get you the opposite of you want honestly). the assholes that get lots of girls aren't mean to them though at least most of the time or else they wouldn't get any
but yea anyways you can technically start acting mean and cheat and all that, its easy
my advice anyways instead of doing that would be to stop watching andrew tate, and probably lower your standards or change whatever is making girls not interested in you. cos if they dont want you its not cos your 'too nice'
Is it really the bad guys they want though (I never did) or is it the guys with a tough exterior and soft interior? I've met a few of those types, they are actually good guys that seems a bit rough around the edges because of everything life has thrown at them. I guess I never really thought of them as bad guys though, to me bad guys are hoodlums, felons or criminals and would most likely abusive which I don't find the least bit attractive.
To me, saying someone is too nice is a way of saying I can't be myself around you. Some people come off as trying too hard, putting others first, and not having boundaries for themselves. You shouldn't be mean or do something unlike yourself in hopes to create a toxic bond with someone. Just be yourself, speak up, have boundaries, and people will be drawn to that.
Is it worth changing who you are for that? Its easy - just dress the part and act like an asshole, and some women will go for that. But are those women you really want?
I think its much better to develop skills you can be proud of - because there are women who are attracted to that as well.
Sounds like you dont need to do anything. You wanna be a bad guy and being a nice guy is bad, looks like the problem has sorted itself. Seriously though, who cares what they say? You shouldn't. Women want a bad guy and then the bad guy hurts them and they get bitter and cuss out men for being assholes. Also, why pretend to be something you're not. They'll find out you're being fake and won't thank you for it.
You don't need to be a bad boy to stop being so nice. Don't get caught up in all that foolishness these girls of today are so into. Half of them will be pregnant or abused within the next year for getting tied up with a bad boy. Leave them to what they want and what they think is sexy, while you keep doing you. If you want to be more assertive and confident, you can do that just fine without needing to be a bad guy.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
9 mo
The way I see it, "bad boy" is a misconception.
It's not to be a total dickhead to everyone, it's the ability to not say yes to everything and not be an ass kisser. It's being capable of great violence but knowing when to use it. It's knowing when you should stand up for yourself and tell people you don't give a shit what they think of you if there is no possible way of pleasing them. It's knowing that there is a difference between power and corruption.
In other words, it is the ability to master the virtue of stoicism, though that is often called "toxic masculinity" as it is made synonymous with "bottling your feelings".
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