I may be mistaken. So I am inherently a good person so I am nice to women I date but end up getting taken advantage of. I came to a conclusion that you have to talk down on women and be an asshole to let her know you have value. It is complicated to explain why this works but if you talk to her shoulder to shoulder and look up at her then she won’t see you as dominant. However, if you talk down on her then she will see you as dominant and that’s what girls are into so you have to be a little bit mean and not a total asshole but I think I figured out the guy I want to be. I tried to be the nice guy and it just didn’t workout for me so I am done being the nice guy.
(Nice guy turns into bad guy) Why should I continue being a nice guy if nice guys just get walked all over? Am I mistaken?
Our societies in the West are very much uncultured. In more cultured societies, bad people are more outcasted socially and good people are more encouraged and empowered. It is not that being good is weak. It is not. It is actually strength and very much of it. It is just that in uncultured societies there is no such a thing as social justice. Noone cares unless a violent crime has taken place. The women of today think that "Bad Boys" are stronger. The truth is they are weaker and way weaker. They are soulless and degraded. They have sold their soul to the devil. Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. People from more cultured societies know this. Being a bad boy is much easier than being a good person. The way our social situations are structured, doing the wrong things lead to empowerment. In high schools the narcisstic bullies are the popular guys. And for some reason I can never figure out women seem to have some very toxic attraction to these backwards people. Perhpas they see them as dominant. I don't know. a lot of women have rape fantasies. I think it is mass mental illness. If we lived in a society that empowered good people to stand up to the bs, more good men would and women would find the good men more dominant. The way things are today, specially in the West, for a person to do the right thing it feels like they have to go against the whole world. But for a bad person to do the wrong thing, it is as if society supports them, won't punish them and women are even attracted. There is intensive for it. With regards to your situation, you are born alone, you die alone and all you really have is your own soul. Do you want to sell your soul for more respect in an inherrintly backwards society? Don't be as such as people can take advantage of you neither. If needed disown most people. But be true to yourself. Perhaps workout and take some martial arts classes. Seek meditation and healing and self improvement. Do what is right for you. Don't turn into a demon because a lot of people are doing it. These people have no lives and will never get anywhere and will be in unbearable regret when they are on their dying bed. They wasted their whole life. I am not religous but I have heard that Jesus says, "They gain the world and lose their soul". When they truly realize they have lost their soul, that is your retribution. And they will. It is better to be alone by yourself, than be amongst people who think kindness and goodness is weakness. Things you must aspire to be is looked as weakness. These people don't know what they are talking about. Don't let the psychopaths fool you. Be a better more careful judge of character and trust your instincts. Women who give you a bad vibe, don't go around them, let alone be in a relationship with them. There are still lots of good people in the world, they are just not loud and in clubs doing drugs. You are going to the wrong places. When I was young, I was alittle bit of a bully, I was alittle bit of a criminal, and I drank a lot, smoked a lot, smoked weed a lot, did some drugs. Girls were all over me. But as I became older and conciously became a better person, slowly friends disappeard, girls got less. It was truly shocking to me. Second part of this I am writing in next message. There is limt to the number of words.
Until I realized we live in a very backwards toxic world. Be true to yourself my man, even if the whole world is against you. Ignore, disown, move on. You know in your heart what is right and what is wrong. Just because everybody is doing the wrong things doesn't make it right. Heal your wounds, empower yourself and you will stand like a mountain. Most of these girls that are attracted to those guys don't end up having good lives. a lot of them are single when they are old. And a lot of them regret their whole life and realize that the shaky shy guy who they friendzoned was the kind of guy who would stand by them till they are 90. But they chose the rich toxic guy and now they are used and abused and broken and noone truly wants them or will properly love them. My main point to you is, prioritize yourself and your own wellbeing. If you do meditation and are alittle sensitive to energy, you will see, these people are full of garbage toxic energy. They are not well inside at all. They are damaging to themselves and everyone. Most of all, they are fast sleep, unconious people.
You shouldn't. You don't have to be a "Bad Boy" either. Just unapologetically be you, regardless of what people think. Don't fake anything for anyone. It's SO much more liberating when you don't have to keep BS'ing to impress people who'd never like you, nor matter how golden your personality was.
One thing I will tell you about women: Most of them (who aren't gay) will want the SAME exact f*ckin' type of man: Over six feet tall, chiseled jawline, abs, broad shoulders, athlete's body, between 25 and 40, etc. While men have a huge variety of women they go for and there's pretty much a type of female body for all straight men on Earth, the same does NOT apply towards women!
Most women end up settling with someone they don't love, but don't outright hate, either. Someone who can simp and kiss their ass just enough to last 10 or 20 years or so. Once you've talked to enough women, you start to realize just how little personality actually matters. How do you think some of the worst men on Earth still get women? Yes, it's easy to point to them being "bad boys" as the case. But the truth is, they just don't treat women as important. They, ironically, treat women the same way so many women treat men: As a commodity. As someone to use and get things from.
I'm not trying to drop a full bottle of Red Pills on you. I just have enough life experience and wisdom to know what 20 year old me did not. The simple fact that MOST women are not worth the bullsh*t they come with. No amount of sex in the world is worth that. Just look at Johnny Depp; MF'er was a multimillionaire and he's still being f*cked over by Elon Musk's ex.
Another ironic thing is, I'm probably one of the most romantic men out there. I'd give me heart and soul for the right woman. I'm just smart enough now to know that woman is a pure fantasy. The type of woman I'd do that for doesn't exist and real people are covered in too much sh*t and piss for me to get my hands dirty.
The sooner you realize most people suck (men and women, but I'm assuming you're not gay) and the more you talk to men who got divorced, the more you'll learn to be grateful to be single, rather than being with the wrong one. (Most women are the "wrong one." Like 98% of 'em.)
"One thing I will tell you about women: Most of them (who aren't gay) will want the SAME exact f*ckin' type of man: Over six feet tall, chiseled jawline, abs, broad shoulders, athlete's body, between 25 and 40, etc. While men have a huge variety of women they go for and there's pretty much a type of female body for all straight men on Earth, the same does NOT apply towards women!"
No thanks. Serial killer documentaries and movies sort of taught me to be careful around overly handsome men of any race. Like if I was a CEO or something then I would be relaxed because I'll see these type of men all the time; but I'm just your average Jane so having a guy of that status and flawless appearance randomly come up to me like, "Want to got for a ride on my Yacht," makes me feel like I'm about to be trafficked or murdered for my organs.
However, I know what you mean by many women wanting the fairytale prince to be everything they ever wanted; life just doesn't work that way. Perfection is a fantasy, there's no man out there without flaws.
@mcheetah You're spot on in my opinion. I've been w/ a ton of women in my life I'm a 6'2 former athlete over 40 still w/ my abs and w/ money. I've never had a problem getting a woman partly because I just treat them like a disposable commodity, and keep an abundance mentality. Only thing I disagree w/ is that most women dont settle for the simp it's probably 33/33/33 between the simp the high value guy that cheats and someone basic.
Asker I recommend you read Corey Wayne’s “how to be a 3% man”. He gives good advice on things “nice guys” do to turn women off but he doesn’t say turning into an asshole.
As a former “nice guy” myself I know EXACTLY how you feel. It sucks. Especially at your age. But truth be told you will never be able to completely transform your personality unless you get Brian damage or PTSD from a very serious combat situation (military conflict). And you don’t want that to happen. Trust me.
@EmyyWolf Not sure why you felt the need to tag me I've spent a lifetime banging chicks. Rule number 1 never take relationship advice from women as you just proved they do not listen or comprehend very well.
——- ASKER: Any man that tells you they bang chics. They don’t do that shit. No hot, tough, fearless man gonna say they “BANG CHICS”. They don’t haveeeee to say it. Trust me… 😑
Not everyone is hot, some people can't just turn hot in a few seconds. Unlike women, guys don't have something like makeup to put a fake mask on of how they look like.
@EmyyWolf steroids are terrible for you, horrible for your body. It would be as damaging as taking heroine. Sure it bulks you up faster but eventually the guys dick stops working, can't grow facial hair, and some even go bald. It's just all around terrible for you
@EmyyWolf That's just something you need to tell yourself to help justify your narrow belief. It's easier to tell your self that then actually provide any substance to the conversation.
@Vegasrunner Dude.. I’m trying to help him. You’re a simp and full of 💩. I never met no Alpha guy that was using the internet this much… they don’t tend to be on their phone… unlike women fags and simps.
They take advantage of you because they know you are good. Which is not your fault, it's good that you have a good heart. I've had similar experience in my earlier years and it taught me to have clearer visvision.
Western women love good men if they can get something from you and still look at you as a chump at the same time. Meanwhile their unclean hearts want men they see as more masculine with aggression and knacks for outsmarting, disrespecting, or abusing others - the women included.
I am not going to tell you to go the route of being this way to attract women, because if you do ultimately you will be unhappy when you get one, because her heart isn't really good and she's only attracted to you for being one of these bad "alphas." You're only doing something to attract a woman who won't like or love you for who you really are.
Same for men, there are no excuses for shit-tier women who take advantage of others; I'm sorry you had to endure whatever BS you had to go through.
My advice is lower your expectations on appearances, set clear boundaries for no one to cross, become more assertive, and focus on core values you have and want in a future partner. Work on yourself, and develop healthy habits. If you're healthy body (exercise, eat right, etc) and mind (therapy, medication if needed), you can get a girl who may not be a boss bitch and have that bad bitch look, but instead has a lot of room for improvement (willingness to exercise with you without being forced, etc) and already has the personality/compassion/empathy/patience/love to be a great partner/parent. Even though this is unpopular to say, women gravitate to men who can lead and set a good example through compassion/honest with that bit of male assertiveness that can command a room, we want to be lead.
Much like how some men take a good woman for granted, us being attracted to bad boys is our immaturity showing its ass. When you see that shit, walk away, we'll learn our lesson when we're 40 and still single with or without children.
Excellent feedback @skycastle90 especially about the “drawing the line and walking away” part. I had to learn to do that later in life. It’s about taking the power back.
I don’t want to throw all women under the bus because some like yourself realize the bs that’s going on in society. Women are self sabotaging themselves with this modern feminist bs. They think that taking advantage of men shows they are “strong”. They might enjoy some short term benefits but in the long run they will realize the huge mistakes they made.
With that said it’s good for men to be gentlemen to women who deserve it. But honestly boys and young men are extremely confused nowadays on what it is to “be a man”. It’s not easy for them and society doesn’t help. They need coaching.
It's such a vicious cycle. You got women having babies to save relationships and men who walk away from the woman, but sadly from their child as well. There are good single mothers out there, I've met one once; but then you have majority of single moms who live in doubt, anger and fear that are raising children who are growing up confused and guilty for just being alive or even worse, punished for their gender depending on who the mother hates the most, the father or herself.
As for women who was raised by your stereotypical angry single mom I can definitely say our single mothers feed us the highest dose of poison because we are neither taught how to even talk to men nor understand them, instead we are taught to use them and to view them as gullible, sex-driven subordinates. What saved me is that I grew up around my grandmother who is a dedicated wife to the same man since she was 19 or younger, so she taught me all she could until it got a bit too dated.
As for men, I see my male family members cheating, divorcing, and remarrying; they're lost and picking women who act like their destructive single mom, so I agree with you 100%.
@skycastle90 the 60s sex revolution really screwed a lot of this up. It was supposed to be “liberating” for women to make choices on who to sleep with whether they are married or not. This in turn led to what you described above which in turn led to hordes of confused and angry “nice guys”. Most of these guys would of been happily married in a different time era.
Anyway I’m glad you got this perspective. But honestly it’s tough very tough for most single well meaning guys out there nowadays. I’ve been raked over the coals when I was younger because of this bs. I did go through a “man whore” don’t give a shit phase in my late 20s and early 30s. There are drawbacks to that as well. But really from a man’s POV there is really nothing worse than treating a woman with respect just to have her reject you (usually by friéndzone) because in her mind your boring and lack challenge.
One of the best things in life was discovering the red pill. It is after I indulged in it that I started to find meaningful relationship free of toxicity like the one I'm in now.
If it wasn't for my grandmother showing me what it means to be a true wife and mother, I probably would have went through a whore phase too and popped a few babies out, but instead my fiancé is my first and only. I'm not his first though, which is alright I never expected to be lol.
@skycastle90 motherhood is severely under rated. Yeah you would of likely slept around and chased “bad boys” thinking you would get some romance novel fantasy form to fruition (meanwhile ignoring many good guy opportunities)
The problem is these so called women we being told to “follow their heart” only to indulge their debase inclinations and wind up heartbroken. But its their own god damn fault. Meanwhile good guys get burned and bad boys get rewarded. Hence the vicious cycle that makes originally genuine guys like the QA and myself feel pressured to “learn the game”. In the end everybody loses but again I do confidently blame radical feminism for screwing this all up from the start.
Most guys are well intentioned. We may feel impulses to be promiscuous but really we too yearn for a meaningful relationship, marriage and fatherhood. None of those are intended to “control” women like feminists claim.
I get the whole bad guy thing, its weird why women are so into that. But in the end, the bad guy thing doesn't really have any value. When you are a nice guy, women look down on you as they think of themselves of the upper factor of the relationship which is not many like, some do but not many. On the other hand, when you are a bad guy, you become the upper factor of the relationship by being mean and talking down to her but in the long term, that doesn't work out because the bad guy charm then turns into something they don't want because they can't see a future in it. Being a bad guy is only a short term thing because it makes women feel more alive or something similar but then the feeling dies out and they want what the nice guy could have given them. I know, complicated as hell. So the best thing to do is be neither of the both. Don't be a nice guy or a bad guy, when you meet a person, be a gentleman but you need to show them that you are like this out of courtesy and good behaviour for yourself. You are not a gentleman for them or any other person at all, you are a gentleman for yourself.
It was said, "Be a King for yourself first and many will follow later". Be nice to people in general and not with just women but also be brutally honest about your opinion if someone needs to hear it. Bring factors from both a nice guy and a bad guy, but never completely become one or the other.
We've all been there at some point in our lives. The point is, you should not remain a nice guy. The whole point is that you become the 'bad boy'. Because like you've pointed out, that's what women are attracted to. They can deny it as much as they want in order to save face, but the truth is, they don't want the nice guy. They want that dominant man who is emotionally stable and even shows stoicism. We've heard women cry about "toxic masculinity" around. Yet funny enough, they themselves are attracted to some of these "toxic masculinity" traits. They want the guy who doesn't give a rat's ass about them and who isn't scared to drop them in a heartbeat.
In the end, life is all about adaptation. It's all about survival of the fittest. If you want to achieve things, you have to adapt in order to get it. And women want bad boys, so go and become the bad boy. And as someone who is considered to be a 'bad boy' myself by many others, I can tell you that the only time I had dealt with most heartache, confusion and headaches was the time when I was being the nice guy.
Every guy and girl at some point gets taken advantage of or feels taken advantage of at some point in the dating process. At the end of the day you just have to stay true to yourself and take every experience and opportunity to hone your dating skills to get better at it. In the process make the changes you need to make to become the best version of yourself possible.
So yes I think you are mistaken, but everyone changes over time no matter what it is... nothing ever stays the same. But its not about being bad or good. Its about doing the right thing and being honest with people... some people will respond to it in positive way or bad way. But that does not make you good or bad... its just knowing what you want and going after it... and being honest with yourself and with the other person.
With some people they just make themselves door mats and they never figure out why that is. In the end its always about the choice they made... so I hope you can figure out the point I am making here and start making better choices.
They're probably enjoying that you're taking a more dominant role, not any concept of "good" or "bad". I mean, if that's the dynamic you want in a relationship, then go for it, but it is a lot of work being completely dominant. You're in charge of decisions for two people, entertainment, reading their mood and directing it.
I went that direction for a while because it's enjoyable when playing around to mold women to what you want, but it gets old fast. Aside from them throwing hissy fits and tantrums, you become the only source of meaningful input in the relationship, which can be boring as hell.
Figure the type of partner you want to be, the type of partner you want, how realistic that is to achieve, and how you would go about achieving that dynamic. Be yourself, and if other women take advantage of that, cast them aside until you find someone who will work with you.
Ultimately if you act as a character who you are not, eventually you will be in a relationship, and need to maintain that character. That's a headache and a half compared to maintaining the character of you, even if getting to the starting line is more difficult. If it's a.1% chance, that just means you have to throw yourself out there thousands of times. It sounds like a lot, but you'll find if you go out and just do it, you can throw yourself out there hundreds of times in a week. If you burn out one area, drive to a college.
I am afraid this is just a sterotypical trend of this day and age. Not thats its any more new than it was twenty years ago. there's nothing wrong with be a nice person but you have to understand at the same time that not every woman on this planet is going to be attracted to that just like there are woman who are not attracted to mean guys. I am a genuine kind soul and because of that I have been walked and trampled over in my life, but reguardless of that I have not let that define who I am or who I need to be. Letting other people decide who you are is no better than just getting trampled over. Its merely exchanging one misery for another. You can't be something your not, and if your truly are a kind individual than turning into an asshole won't work, it may get you some tail but it will get you no closer to anything worth having.
So your done being the nice guy, thats your choice, but your only letting yourself get used all over again in a different manner. Your still being taken an advantage of and that won't change no matter what persona you take on. Embrace who you are, accept that person for who they are, do this instead of trying to change. There are over 6 billion people in the world and I am 110% positive that you have barely meant 0000000.1% of them.
Be a good person for yourself and not for others or for what you believe you can get from others for being kind. Know it is okay to say no when people try and take advangage. The people with respect will be there afterward and the users will leave quickly.
Being a "good person" is literally the minimum effort. In fact, being "good" shouldn't even be an effort for you, that's how basic it is.
If treating women with respect and goodwill, without expectation of anything but respect and goodwill in turn (not sex, just being treated like a human), is too much effort for you - it's no wonder no one wants to date you.
Being nice isn't a substitute for a personality or a life someone would want to be part of.
It’s more complicated than that. Women claim that nice guys are boring and lack personality. Some of them actually have very interesting lives and backgrounds but were raised to be chivalrous to women. Modern feminism has made such behavior come off as “weakness” and a so called “strong woman” is in her right to take advantage of that as way to fight “patriarchy”. Like she’s entitled to be a pos or something.
Yes this guy had things to work on. But it’s not that simple given our environment. @skycastle90 had some good insights.
@globetrotter22 Women today create any reason or excuse to harp on men who are decent or "nice," even when men are not even proclaiming themselves to be nice.
Anyone can be boring and may need to add spice to their lives or activities, even a badass. But these women who are harping on good or "nice" men will still do it even if the men have great things about them and aren't uninteresting, because deep down these women simply do not like that he is decent or upright. They are attracted to darkness and men with bad behavior, rudeness, risky lifestyles, etc. because that is what they like, plain and simple. A dark heart wants dark things.
@ManOnFire abusive behavior in men also validates female insecurities.
We got to remind ourselves that a lot of shitty dating decisions is unforturnately instinctive for women. Subconsciously thanks to evolution this is what turns them on.
However men have shitty impulses as well (promiscuity, violence, etc) but we have slapped hard on this for the last few decades. Most of us have listened and responded. We are adaptable. We can own up to being wrong. But why can’t women own up to their shitty behavior? Some can. But most won’t.
If you think being good is minimum effort, you know nothing about men or life or love. It is the very opposite. Being good takes tremendous almost out of worldly strength. Specially in today's world.
You are probably a nice guy, if you look like this:
He has to nice or I won't give him the time of the day. However, if you look like that, I don't want you. Instead, I want the star soccer player. He's hot.
If you are not hot, you can’t get a girl by being a bad boy. Bad boys don't get girls because they are bad boys, but they can get girls if they are hot. What girls really want is a hot guy that will treat them like the foregoing nice guy would. The problem is, every girl wants the star soccer player so he doesn't have to be nice.
@mantelk Just telling it like it is. It's not my fault if you reject good advice and believe, if you pray to God, chant, or make a wish, you fantasy will come true.
I dont have to be nice. its how i choose to be. u think everything men do is for women? you are not as important as you think you are. men have lives of their own
@yofuknutz Young girls used to imagine a guy that will lift them up and make intense love to them and happily ever after. Nowadays they wanna get railed hard, borderline abused lol. Wtf happened?
Probably programming them just thinking like that with all the TV and Netflix and smartphones it makes you wonder if all program to turn us into monsters
You are either dating the wrong women or you have the wrong about what it means to be nice. Nice does not mean having no boundaries or fawning over a woman in the hope that will get you into her bed.
"end up getting taken advantage of..." That has nothing to do with being nice. If this is happening repeatedly, it's not because you are nice. It's because you have poor boundaries and invest too much in a relationship too soon. This will make you attractive to women who are happy to take advantage of weak men, and turn off women looking for emotional maturity.
I do consider myself a “nice guy,” but I don’t consider myself someone who will let others, specifically women, take advantage of me, use me, etc. Also, while I’m a “nice guy” I do many things that may be characterized as stereotypically masculine such as train fighting, shoot guns, lift weights, etc. I’m currently in the US Army working as an infantryman, which is perhaps one of the most man dominated jobs in any military all across the world. I think what I’m trying to say is, having balance is ultimately what is attractive. You don’t want to be a “nice guy” who lets women take advantage of him or men for that matter. Also, you don’t want to look like you can’t protect your friends and family.
I dont live for others. I won't be what others expect of me. I WILL return the same energy you throw at me. If you radiate sunshine then ill care if you yell ill yell back.
there's a difference between being a badboy and being a nice guy... And being frank and not caring if you hurt some bitches feelings when she's being a sassy cunt isn't being a badboy its being an asshole and i support that. Being kind to get somewhere in life isn't being a nice guy. Its being a manipulator at best a SIMP at worst...
Dont live for women or society. Its not hard to be a better person and just accept what comes your way. Not every man or woman wil get a partner. Many will die alone. Especially women these days lmao. It does no good to try and be what society and women want when societies chaging and women dont know what they want... Just do yourself and see what comes along.
Don't be the nice guy, nothing dries a girl up faster than them knowing how much you like them. You have to be indifferent about them, then they will try to get your attention.
Sure they like to phrase it in stupid ways like "be nice without expecting anything in return" so just what I said, be indifferent, they like guys who don't care if they're there or not..
Seems stupid to me,, if I don't care about weither or not I get the girl then I don't fuck with that girl,, I try to be around girls I care about,, but that just gets you rejected or worse,, friendzoned. Their idea of treating people like people is very different from mine.
That’s how women work bro , if your too nice she will leave you if you are too bad she will leave you so we have to be in between to keep her interest , Always remember most girls need drama in theirs lives , girls love to gossip and need a man they can talk about , when you basically make it clear you want her but you don’t need her you will have her coming back for more , if you make her feel like you need her she will look at you as weak and start losing interest in you , so you have to be good and bad to keep her coming back for more
Nice isn't synonymous with weak, which sadly is often what guys really are when they're talking about saying being a nice guy. You're just too weak to stand up for yourself when it matters.
That's not the same thing. Nice is more about the general tone and if you the actions that you take. You can protect yourself while not being an asshole oh, but you do need to have the ability to be an asshole when it's warranted
If you're nice, because you don't have the ability to be not nice. You're just weak and that's unattractive
But I will give you one thing. Girls do call a lot of shit being mean or being selfish that really aren't. So if you're going by that standard then okay
Were you only being a nice guy so that you will attract women? If so, then you were never a nice guy to being with. From what I hear, you are just an opportunistic guy that pretends to be nice. Girls are not necessarily looking for bad guys but a confident guy, that knows what he is doing, who is doing things because he wants to and not just to look "nice", usually never fails to attract. No one asked you to be a nice guy, no one asked you to be nice only to be taken advantage by women. That's all on you. So now you want to change, to be a bad guy just so you can attract women. You are a sad person.
Sometimes confidence isn't enough. A lot of women want a dominate man. Some guys out there are naturally kind to everyone, not very dominate and if they are usually is the kind and gentle dominate. Nice guys don't want to take control, they want the woman to know she has her own control over herself and him over himself. But that's not "man" enough for her. And if a guy is below the average height. Yeah, good luck ever finding anyone
@SeanshterMonster I'm not saying that only confidence is needed. If the guy is kind and gentle in nature but had to pretend to be a bad guy just to attract women (like what asker is intending to do), I see him as a pathetic person.
The ultimate conclusion of red pill philosophy (expressed by youtubers as well as reddit) is as follows: 1. Focus on yourself first. When you are in a state of life where you are pretty much setlled, then go for women as you will have something desirable 2. The roadmap is as follows: physical fitness, dressing, money, social skills. Work on it one by one 3. Woman is a luxury, not a necessity. A single man can get enough women pregnant so it's not an urgent thing for you to get married and stuff. 4. Forget Women and dating, focus on yourself. When you can assure yourself that a woman does not have a reason to reject you, go back into dating. 5. Being nice to get something isn't being nice. Be like a king, generous without expectations. This king mentality takes time to develop and for this to happen, you should be away from women and those who use your kindness
You don't need to give yourself a label if you give yourself a labeled then you're trying to impress somebody the only person you have to impress is yourself do what's right somebody wants to label you let them live with you that doesn't mean that's who you are you can be a good guy and then all the sudden any part of the day something might happen and you might have to get that ass and that's just what life's all about I don't label yourself and put yourself in a corner you are who you are this is the thing we choose who we want to be by the things we say and do just follow that
Live your life for yourself. Do what you objectively think are the right things. Spend time thinking about the thing that happen through your day and ask yourself if you're being fair to you.
It doesn't mean to become selfish, it means to stop letting other people dictate what you precieve your self worth to be.
Future said it best
"chase the check, never chase the bitch"
Actually, no this really rich guy I know said it better
"you'll always lose money chacing women, but you'll never lose women chacing money"
So just work on yourself mate, get some goals and don't let anyone stop you. Confidence.
How does a girl "walk all over you"? A nice guy who turns bad just to get girls isn't a nice guy. He has no ethics.
It's possible to be genuine but also masculine. Women like masculinity. They don't want someone fawning or trying too hard because that indicates desperation and lack of self confidence. They want to be respected but to also be with a man that they respect and can feel safe and secure with.
@Jamie05rhs. In this case, I was talking about seeming desperate, simping, being fake. A guy like that is seen as pathetic, as if he is desperate to get ANY woman. Women like confidence in a man. She wants to feel like he could choose anyone but he chose her because there is something special about her.
A guy can give off confidence without being arrogant or putting on a fake swagger. Simply being happy, affable, relaxed, unaffected, carefree and gentlemanly are signs of self esteem. He has to seem like he has self worth and likes himself.
Women are relatively small and vulnerable. They rely on their wits rather than brawn. So they want a guy who can be trusted and who will make her feel safe and secure.
A guy should certainly put his best foot forward. Women should, too. He can treat her like a lady; as if he thinks she is wonderful, beautiful, delicate, charming and special. He can show that he desires her without seeming desperate.
Even if he's shy and a bit nervous, it shows that he is awed by her. That can be attractive and kind of charming to a women.
But just one quick question: If I chose her because there is something special about her (which is true), how can I NOT want her badly? I mean, if you find the exact thing you want, and they are one of a kind, and they are the needle in the haystack, how can you not put your heart and soul into doing everything you can to win their love?
@Jamie05rhs. You absolutely SHOULD treat her like she's one of a kind. All I'm saying is, be someone she admires. Talk to her, ask her on dates. Pay for the damn dates like a gentleman. Be interested in who she is by listening to her. Make her feel like she's the only woman in the world. Just don't be fake. Don't grovel. That lowers your value. She wants to feel like you are a catch to be proud of.
There is a difference between groveling and acting like you respect and admire her as a person, think she is the most beautiful woman you have ever met, and would be proud to be her man.
@Jamie05rhs. Paying for her meal is absolutely not grovelling, nor is paying for dates and outings. Grovelling is acting obsequious or servile. A gentleman can treat a lady like a delicate flower without being a bootlicker. A lady likes a man who has dignity and charm, will protect and look out for her, acts like he knows how to take control (especially in the bedroom), but still treats her like she's special. Again, she wants to feel like she can trust him to keep her safe and secure. She doesn't want a weakling or someone who is desperate. That's where confident masculinity comes in. A man can be honest, dependable, caring, attentive AND have self confidence.
I stopped chasing. A simple introspection, and I determined my Rosebud: building things. I'm happy when I'm creating. And when I finish a creation, and get to release it on the world. I was happiest as a small child when I had the sandbox to myself. Uninhibited creative freedom. Alas, it never lasts.
I get less attention from girls now, but that also means less negative attention. Sure, the occasional crazy chick from out of left field still shows up to start trouble. But she finds out quickly that I will bend nothing in an effort to please her. To get me that way, a woman has to earn it.
This doesn't land me in either the "bad boy" nor "nice guy" categories. Instead, they view me like I'm some crazy monk. So be it.
Are you a nice guy or a "nice guy", notice the quotation on the latter. A nice guy is a man who is genuinely cordial and pleasant to everyone irrespective of his sexual interest. He treats them nicely because he himself is secure emotionally and doesn't feel the need to put anyone down to make himself feel better or bigger.
Now were you trying to act extra nice and accommodative to your dates? That is a big red flag for women because they inherently know and realize that your perceived sexual mean value (SMV) is lower than theirs and act accordingly.
Because nice guys... aren't nice. They think being subservient entitles them to a womans affection. Its selfish actually. Meanwhile the so-called bad guy is just cool with himself and women either fit with him or they dont. It doesn't bother him. Thats the difference.
Focus on being yourself instead if trying to impress women for the sake of receiving affection or sex (yes, all you nice guys think being a nice guy should get you sex)... cuz that doesn't really make one "nice" does it?
Women ain't dumb. They can sniff your nice guy antics knowing you're thinking with the other head.
I don't know where to begin with this, so I'll cut to the crux of the matter: quality women don't want 'nice guys' OR 'bad boys'. They want a grown-ass MAN. You seem to be coming from a place of seeing 'badboyism' (I'm coining that term now 😅) as the solution to all your insecurities about being rejected in your 'nice guy days'. But you can't trick women into thinking you're not insecure by wearing a 'bad boy' mask. The only way out is through. That is, the only way out of insecurity is to become SECURE. When you're certain about who you are, what you value, and what you want and expect from a woman (within reason), and what you bring to the table in return, then (and ONLY then) the facade will fall away and women will respond to the man you actually ARE, not the insecure boy who's reaching for some smokescreen to conceal the true self. Set aside this foolish nice guy / bad boy dichotomy, and step up to become the grown ass man you were meant to become.
Yes definitely. What you wrote really resonated with me, as I wasted nearly a year of my life with the sort of insecure man you describe. Instead of dealing with his issues, he joined a ‘pick up artistry’ community and manipulated me into a ‘relationship’. I’ve mostly met immature men, that reek of insecurity and fake bravado. My understanding of a man ‘manning up’ is being true to themselves (and others) - through personal growth, honesty, humility, not being afraid to be vulnerable, and engaging in true + consistent kindness (vs lovebombing, for example). That is a ‘REAL MAN’, and the ideal man in my opinion... and sadly elusive so far, in my dating life.
@MissBollinger12 I'd agree with your assessment of a "real man", even if its aspirational in some sense. That is to say, though I may struggle at times to be vulnerable and authentic with other people, I'm nonetheless aware that those qualities are what I should be constantly moving towards. It's not so much about being an "ideal man", but rather, striving to be a man WITH ideals. In other words, it's aiming for the stars so you still reach the moon if you miss [those lofty ideals]. The point about "pickup artistry" (a rather cringey term, in hindsight) is interesting, because from my past intersections with that community, I've seen how it can bring out both the best AND the worst in men. It's all about what the individual brings to it, a lot of men come in with unresolved baggage and think learning to "con" women into sex will generate a feeling of 'being enough' as a man. Those guys inevitably give off that "immature boy" vibe through a layer of fake bravado. But I also know/knew guys from that community I'd consider legit friends (whom happened to meet via a shared pastime), who came into the community from a place of wanting to develop social skills, improve their confidence, and get just enough accountability from other guys on that journey that the OPPORTUNITIES to actually present those natural qualities to women could present themselves. So while that community can have value, it really depends what 'energy' a guy brings into the equation. If he has bad intentions, it will manifest somehow in how he treats/views women.
Used to be just like you, it’s all bullshit bra. If you’re friendly/nice to ANYONE in the streets or dating you’ll get taking advantage of. Also women fuck guys they respect so if you ever wonder how the assholes or jailbird/criminals always seem to have women it’s because women respect those guys no matter what a women tells you they don’t respect a genuinely nice guy (yea as a friend but not enough to fuck). That nice bullshit does not get women wet. Being attractive also helps women treat attractive men WAY better than ugly/below average or in some cases overweight men. Just focus on getting money because the women situation won’t last forever by 27 most those women are burnt out anyway
I have always hated when people allow others to live rent-free in their heads. I am a 100% asshole. However, I will be as nice to someone as they allow me to be. The one thing I hate is dishonest people. People with a history of cheating in relationships, people that can lie on cue, and people that will mooch off of or take credit for anothers' labor. If those apply to you and I know it I will treat you like crap and have nothing to do with you. If they don't we can be friends! I refuse to be disrespected or have people run all over me. That nice guy bad guy thing is something I stopped worrying about years ago. I am just me.
Everyone is different, I've never liked bad guys, in fact I greatly dislike macho guys. You know the ones that want to beat the shit out of another guy if they look at me.
People do get taken advantage of, I have myself a lot by bad boys and others, who pretend to be be what I want.
Seems to me, some people of either gender will just take advantage of others as much as the opportunity exists.
3
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
ITS NOT ABOUT BEING NICE OR EVIL. DUMBA—S!
(It’s about being hot and fearless.)
If you look like this…..
And you act like an A—HOLE… and you treat people “women” poorly….. Ain’t nobody gonna want to F—K you! All you’re gonna do it get jailed!
__________________ They call them “BAD BOYS” not because they’re “evil”. That’s just a metaphor.
The hot guys tend to be narcissistic and full of themselves because women spoil them. All the women WANT them, therefore these women spread their legs and spoil these men like you’d never know! That makes those men feel privileged and entitled. But their looks back them up. They KNOW they got the looks.
That’s why women go for the so-called “BADDDD” boy. A. K. A the “HOT ENTITLED BOY”.
I don't think you know what a narcissist is. It's a mental health condition. They are abusive psychopaths. The type of guys you are referring to aren't bad boys. They are just attractive guys. They are normally good people
@SeanshterMonster @mantelk I’m saying that the attractive ones tend to be more entitled. That’s why they call them the “BAD BOYS”. Because of their looks they feel they have more options, than if they weren’t BRAD PITTS. and truly they do….
It’s not about being “EVIL AND VILE” and treating women like SH—T. That gets you nothing, it don’t gain you any respect. That’s not being red-pilled at all. You’re delusional if you think you’re gonna get women by treating them poorly whilst you look like this:
@SeanshterMonster Stop calling it “BADDD” guys. It’s only gonna confuse you. That terminology is wrong.
It’s the TOUGH guys. Yes.. women tend to go for the TOUGH ANGRY guy yes. I’ve seen it happen time and time again. I saw a young woman cheat on her husband (baby daddy) of her two kids. With a literal BRAD PITT at my job, that I also had a crush on. They F—KED each-other easy peasy. Just like that!
Girl looked like this:
Literally got D—KED by BRAD PITT within a month from meeting him. And she was married. CHAD wasn’t rich or anything, he just had the guns and the looks.
I’m telling you. It’s all about the looks. You have to get on steroids any get some gains going.
But to call it “BEING BADDD” is wrong and confusing. Spread the word and help your bros out.
Yes. Help people by making yhem ruin themselfs eith steroids. You can't fill the lonley empty hole in your heart with meaningless sex. Looks are important, but having your own life and hobbies and caring about the people around you is more important. Yes, there are bad guys. Guys who are dicks, guys who manipulate.
Again, bad boys are usually more criminal minded, they are more narcissistic, they are usually bullies or drug dealers. What you refer to are just good looking guys. Maybe alittle arrogant that's it.
@mantelk I said to do both. Go to gym , become buff and tough. And healthy steroids can help you. But you have to take the healthy kind. DO YOUR RESEARCH
I don't think any healthy person would damage their body with steroids just to fuck a few whores. The kinda girls I like don't care way too much about these things. I have a handsome face and decent body and it is enough. Life isn't about girls. I know you girls think you are the most important thing in existence. You are not. No man in his right mind is going to change everything about himself just so the shallow sluts would get on their knees more quickly. The fact that you expect guys to change themselves just so you'd find them attractive shows you are a nightmare and only good for one thing.
Girls have found me attractive all my life. And I go to the gym. Have a decent body. Don't need steroids. Not all girls like food monkeys and it makes you irratible and hostile and shrinks your balls
@mantelk You probably should consider the quality of the person trying to provide this advice. Sounds like she's been hurt because of her inability to keep a quality man and now she's pretending to give "advice" which just disguises her own failures.
@Vegasrunner You’re just disregard my advice because I've offended you.
Never had a boyfriend. Never intended to have one. I’m telling you exactly how it is. And what you need to do to obtain women. You need to look like a CHAD BRAD. END OF STORY.
If you’re rude to women and you like this You ain’t gonna get no P—SY!
@emyywolf I certainly can understand your need to believe everyone is as emotional as you. I think it's cute that you share immature outbursts however my point is no one should take your advice seriously because You have zero real world experience on this subject and are basically just sharing social media buzz words to hide the fact that you have been unable to attract a quality man of your own.
Dude. You’re advice for me is to #1.. BE RUDE #2.. BELITTLE WOMEN #3… LOOK DOWN UPON WOMEN #4… ASUME THEYRE ALL SL—S #5…BE REDPILLED EVEN IF YOU LOOK LIKE A NERD
Now you're acting suspicious and accusatory you don't respond to messages it's a one-way street with you when you communicate people on here so your communication styles is either very poor or your fake account you seem to be too aggressive to be a female and pushing hard on this type of narrative when I asked you about STD rates you blew over me so something is wrong here
This is an over-simplication. Most women don’t “enjoy” being mistreated but they are turned on by CHALLENGE which unforturnately is what assholes come off to woman as.
It’s possible to still be a nice guy and pull tons of ass. But you got to check yourself to bend over backwards for women and be ready for their shit testing (all women test men).
With that said society and modern feminism has really screwed a lot of this up by brainwashing young boys into believing masculinity is “evil”. That’s a huge part of this problem.
@mark_wazowski it takes mental self discipline to avoid doing “beta tendencies” that turn women off. It requires being self aware and not letting your attraction towards someone blur your judgment.
I was able to pull this off in my late 20s and early 30s. But then I went too far with one girl and she turned out to be “the one who got away”. I went way too far on the challenge part. It got her to fall in love with me initially but there is a time where I need to surrender (somewhat) and I didn’t. Hard hard lesson
Anyway boys and young men need to be “deprogrammed” about societal brainwashing bs. At the core it’s the fault of modern feminism but we have to learn to be gentleman. A gentleman is still a “man”. He’s like a nice guy but he has rougher edge. He will draw the line if he realizes the woman is testing him or trying to exploit him.
Many nice people get taken advantage off. Just look at politics, here with their "welcome politics" being extra welcoming to immigrants, we got now many parasites here laughing at us even saying "how dumb is your government that they love bring taken advantage off". Its the same if you're a normal dude. Say two times "yea I'll help fix your car" and they'll come again and again with favors to the point it can be exploitation. Many turn away from being nice after being taken advsntage off too many times
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I think what those girls like is not to be talked down to. 😂
Watch some romcoms where the male lead or character is considered a bad boy.
What those girls probably like is the cool and rebellious manner of it.
It's weird, cuz when we say "bad" one would naturally think about asshole and literally bad.
But when girls say they like bad boys it's not in that way. When they say they like a dominant guy, they're not referring to a guy that talks down on them nor humiliate and cheat on them.
Dominant = A guy that's not afraid to say his feelings and makes the first move. Confident in himself and knows how to court a girl.
Only thing that girls wouldn't like about the characteristics of the stereotype "bad boys", would be the cheating.
Most of my friends say they want a bad boy, but that has eyes only for them...
Cringe, but Ig they mean they want a cool but loyal guy.
To be commanding and dominate is to think of one self more than another person, to think that your higher and the other person is lower than you so you command them.
It's funny looking at that Pic that's that "Alpha something" guy from youtube. And he'd tell you why. And it's not really different from why I'll tell you to. Do it not for them but for you. Don't get it twisted. When I say be a nice guy that doesn't mean be a pushover. Know your worth! And demand nothing less than the respect you deserve! Don't have anything to do with any woman (or man) that doesn't treat you with the respect you're due. But be nice not because people deserve it but because you are a quality guy. Know that! Act like it! Show it! And don't apologize for who you are. You know pimps have a lot of women. That don't make pimps quality men. It's better to be a quality man that's single and wait for a quality woman to come along.
You don't know the difference between a nice guy and bad boy or you wouldn't think that. Bad boys are tall, athletic, and exceptionally good looking. Girls have always been easy for bad boys. They spend very little time, effort, or money, If he snaps his fingers, they drop their panties. Therefore, girls are like sand, they have little value so bad boys fuck them, dump them, and move on to the next easy fuck.
Nice guys are average looking guys. They must spend a lot of time (maybe years), money, and effort to get a girl. Therefore, when he gets a girl, she is like a diamond; she is precious. He will do anything to keep her because he may never find another.
@mantelk Attractiveness is the primary difference. Attractive guys can be nice guys and some are. However, unattractive guys unless they have money, etc., cannot be bad boys because girls don't want them.
There are millions of ugly guy drug dealer types that go out with lots of hoes. I think you are just a young kid that hasn't seen the real world yet. Bad boy means like alittle criminal minded, or drug dealer or doing drugs, not an attractive person. The people you are referring too are just cocky handsome guys many of which are pussies.
I think that those of us who were raised by feminists associate dominance with the words "wrong" and "bad"; even if it's the good, benevolent kind and you're not being abusive to anyone. Because that's how we have been trained. I'm not sure if that conditioning and programming can ever be completely erased and overwritten. Maybe it can only be tweaked slightly through updates. Just try to remain somewhat open-minded and try out things that you think might actually work -- as far as your approach to women -- while still being confident in rejecting things that you know will NOT work. Overall, don't hate yourself. Never forget who you are. You may be weak, but that doesn't mean you are evil. Don't allow envy to turn you into something evil. Because then you won't even have what you have now, which is a pure heart.
Just be yourself. Don't worry about nice guys vs bad guys. Trust me, you don't want the type of woman who is attracted to bad guys. I attract these types of women and I am far from what a bad guy is. However, i guess I have the look of a bad guy, so I attract those types of women. Trust me when I say, that they aren't what you want, man. Be yourself, attract the woman who is attracted to you for who you are. If a dumb ass woman wants to chase the bad guy, don't be there for her when she cries about it later. Let her fall on her face and suffer the consequences. Meanwhile, you just keep being you.
You should be kind but never let anyone walk all over you. It's about balance, you've got to be able to take care of yourself first before you can help anyone else, when you do something kind it has to be without expectations, but don't be a doormat you've got to be able to say no and speak your mind with honesty and directness regardless of what other people think. It's also important to establish boundaries with other people if they fail to respect your boundaries you have the right to walk away, protect your sanity and stay away from toxic people
Just be a guy, who cares about a title whether you're good or bad or whatever, your problem is probably doing too much when they're not giving the same back, that's your mistake, why be good to everyone? Not everyone deserves your goodness, and if you're overly good to women for no reason they're gonna think you expect the same out of them and leave. Give what you give back, girls can sense all of this too, when you don't expect anything back or you give what they give then you'll have more success instead of trying to give one more than she gives you
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Being nice to people doesn't make you a good person. Being nice to women you like doesn't make you a nice person.
I'm a translesbian, one would think this would be a severely limiting situation but I am a genuinely good person, I volunteer, I give, I help, I am recognized in my Leather community as a community leader. Because of this and my eclectic, well honed, skillets I have a committed relationship with a woman 14 years my younger as well as a seemingly never ending line of playmates.
And before you say anything, my girlfriend approves as I am nonsexual with my playmates but being a service top and a recognized teacher and leader provides me, and by extension her as well as the rest of my House, with status and prestige.
@SeanshterMonster science isn't on your side here, my DNA says I am, and will always be genetically MALE... Again, you are conflating...
If a person with a penis was abusive to his wife and children but wouldn't stand up to a fight with another person with a penis when called out would you call that person a "man"
@VanillaSalt as long as you stay out of my way, including politics that impact me and people like me, I don't care what you do... Or what you think. The reality is that the uneducated folks like you are going the way of the dodo... Seeing as how I expect to live another 80 years, I'll be here long after you, so all I've got to do is wait you out.
Wait me out? I'm 21. I'm gonna live to 100. Also, that example, he's just an asshole who should go to jail. Sure he's a male, but he deserves jail time.
Another 80 years? The average age of the sex with the longest life span (women), of which your not, has peaked in the mid 80s and the average lifespan of humans as a species actually went down for the first time in recorded history… so unless your a 10 yr old brat, whom wouldn’t know what their talking about, then your wrong about having 80 years…
Also… ones a man looking to stick his dick in a woman the others a man whom thinks he’s a woman and is looking to stick his dick in a woman… I’ll take my chances.
@SeanshterMonster only to the uneducated... Male denotes sex, penises and vaginas. Man denotes gender, the way the brain is wired to perceive the world. They generally correspond, but with approximately 2% they do not. 30+ years of science and medicine are behind me on this one.
What is normalized in gender changes based off society. Gender don’t change just some traits move between the sexes as desirable and undesirable.
Forgive me if I can’t take you seriously. After all the rate of suicide in trans communities being 40% juts seems like they haven’t figured it out either.
Ignore all the girls. They don’t know what they want. Nice guy doesn’t mean nice guy. It means pushover. No backbone. Being overly nice. Women want a man who can make decisions. Be responsible. Take charge. If they want to be dominated then that is probably just that particular girls fetish. They don’t want an asshole. They don’t want someone who treats them like trash. They probably want excitement or something new. If you want cheap pussy and one night stands, you probably could be an asshole and be up front. Works better if you’re attractive and a good talker.
0
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Burnt nice guys are not bad boys. They just end up alone. Don’t try to be something you aren’t based from past bad experience. Just find someone who appreciates you.. And keep in mind you have to respect others to gain their respect. You go in with an attitude you will keep walking out alone.
If your too nice, agreeable and willing to help people, you can end up being taken advantage of and end up getting passed up for a lot of things at work. But if your to much of a ahole that creates a whole lot of issues with people as well. So it's less about being a nice guy or bad guy then it is learning to balance the two. Because if you go too far on either end, you are going to end up having issues.
you're probably boring as hell to talk to. nobody cares about how "nice" you pretend to be , if you're not interesting to talk to. By the way, I know tons of nice guys who are happily married with kids. so shut the hell up about women not wanting nice guys. if your personality sucks, then accept that you suck. don't put the blame on women
nobody would be retarded enough to be your ex wife. just take a look at yourself. why would any woman ever find you attractive in the first place? there must be something wrong with your ex wife if she married some disgusting ass like you.
why don't you take a look at your own profile pic? even your profile isn't normal.
what does say about you?
i feel bad for you. A man who is bitter, angry and full of anger 24/7. A coward who feels the need to hate on others 24/7. you're the one who is sad , not me.
you only say there is female privilege because you are sad and angry. Happy men who are content with their lives do not believe female privilege exists.
I think you have ti find a middle. Life Is not black or white. I'm sure you might be moody as we all are. I'm dating a guy who is super sweet and in bed he is a "bad boy", very agressive.
I'm mot into rough sex, honestly, but he seemed to me so nice that I will give him a try. You see? Is a tone thing. And you are young. Don't hesitate, you will find someone
With all respect, you have to bring more to the table than only being a nice guy. Be you, show your personality. You'll find someone who will marcha your personality
Solid on the first part. Women have value automatically to society and to men based off their attraction but men are only value both by society and men ONLY by what they can't bring to the table. If a man cannot produce he's worthless. Women still have value because they can have children automatically giving them inherit value.
As for the second part... You canto be okay and expect things to wrok out. It takes effort and time and investment to find a partner as a man. Women wait for men to approach men have to approach unless their very very high up on the ladder.
Very true. Being nice should be because you just want to be extremely kind. People should never ever do anything in hopes of something in return. Like being laid, who cares about that, it's better anyways to never have sex.
Though, the thought process of not expecting anything in return for something you do can be, toxic. Like let's say you kiss your boyfriend, naturally you expect a kiss back and a love you. And if he didn't give that back it would make anyone self-conscious, upset, doubting, and sad. That's because deep down everyone hoped for the same kindness or treatment back to you.
@SeanshterMonster Wow, what a manipulative way to think about it. Sex should be earned but more importantly CONSENSUAL.
"Though the thought process if not getting anything in return... can be, toxic." It's called communication. If you are in a relationship and your needs aren't being met, you talk to your partner about those needs.
@SeanshterMonster Ah okay I see. I understand where u are coming from, but I think you also need to think about the different love languages. Some people are very physical with their love and expect the same but maybe that isn't how your partner shows love. Again, communication. If the person refuses to meet those needs that that is in no way your fault though. It may be toxic, yes.
@Commander_Red I see where you are coming from. But women sometimes distinguish between so called “fake” nice guys vs. genuine nice guys.
I’m nice to all women unless they give me a reason not to be. But some women see this as weakness and I got to be on my guard. Genuine nice guys get screwed over too.
Most times it doesn't have to do with nice or bad. When I got better at basketball and got a decent car for my birthday it didn't matter what I did, the girls who liked me at school would still follow me nice or not
Of course I knew I could afford to be selfish from my newly gained handsomeness. I'd do whatever I wanted and try to sleep with whoever because women would still want me. It showed I was in control in my life and wouldn't let people walk over them not because I was being bad or anything
Dude, women are confused at to what they want. Sometimes their relationships with their own family dictates what they expect in man. Be yourself and don’t compromise who you are for anyone. With that being said, everyone has boundaries. understand them. And respect yourself before trying to love someone else.
If being a nice guy turns women away than you're doing something right. Majority of the women out there who don't want nice guys are toxic. So keep being the nice guy and someday a nice girl will show up out of the toxic ones and put all of your broken pieces together. Sure, it's a.1 in a bajillion chance shell even show up but the alternative isn't worth it. You'll be miserable forever unless you wait for as long as you can.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Are you actually genuine in your niceness? Or you are fake nice in waiting for something in return? Cause people can actually feel when people are being fake nice to them and it's not a great feeling it's like you're always waiting for something and it make people uncomfortable
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
There is a difference between the "bad guy" in a relationship and being down right a terrible person. "Bad guys" are alluring because of a certain charisma they are born with they are toxic at the same time they make a girl feel wonderful about her self. You can't act it out unfortunately. you'd be repulsive if you try. Learn how to be strong confident "good guy", work hard on your self, your job and your physical appearance and you'll find the right person who will appreciate you.
1
6 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
Also some guys think because they are nice they deserve the world should owe them everything on a golden platter. Sorry to break your bubble, you seem young. But you have to work very hard tonget what you want and realize that sometime your best will never be enough and learn to walk away from any place that doesn't serve you. Its called self esteem. That doesn't happen over night. Key word is hard work.
Being arrogant and a good person is an oxymoron. This is yet another paradox women claim to want. I agree with you on the "work on yourself" part, though. I just disagree on the " you'll find the right person who will appreciate you" crap. That's fairy tale BS and IF a man isn't desirable until he becomes self-actualized and perfect, then he doesn't need a woman ruining all that for him when he's learned to be truly happy in life without one. This is just another reason why men should NOT listen to dating advice from women! You over here straight-up telling him to fix his life, just so a woman can come along and ruin it.
@MCheetah I believe the fact that fixing his life is ultimately for his own benefit is a given but given the context of the question being with a girl is what he wants. Also I disagree about working to find someone to spend your life with is BS. Its the ultimate cause for human existance. Or else what are your reaons to even get out of your bed? Who wants to live alone? Thats my opinion anyway
Like I said, the advice about fixing up his life is gold. He should just do it with the strong possibility that a woman will NOT be in his future. Hell, that should be his default attitude. To learn to be happy almost knowing that there will be no woman in his future.
Women today are f*cking awful. I'm no misogynist either; I'm just not enough of a pussy to deny the truth. Try to call me "sexist" all you want; most women today aren't worth a cup of coffee for, let alone spending your time on them. Maybe many men are like that too; I dunno. But that's where I'm at in life. I would LOVE to have a good woman in my life. But I wasted my entire 20s learning this bitter lesson:
If I'm not happy alone, I'll never be happy with someone. And if I AM happy alone; why the f*ck do I need a female ruining that for me?
@MCheetah I'm really sorry you feel that way. But there are still many good women out there who are looking for good guys or waiting for them to find them.
Nice guys dont win shit, and the women on here who are telling you different are the rare ones you will not find and most likely never meet. Sad how the world conforms like that and most people have a do what the majority is doing mindset. If you wanna have your pick of women focus on making big money and then you will not care whether they stay or go.
It's not about "talking down" as much as it is about standing up for yourself. Lot of guys put women on a pedestal for no reason at the end of the day they're the same across the board once you realize that and treat them the same as you would anyone else you'll have more success. Most importantly for a guy your age you want to keep an abundance mentality and not limit yourself to one women.
Been there my friend and I know it can be painful and lonely to be that way. But turning into an asshole is not the answer. Do you know that I did? Grew a backbone, got to the gym, began to read more and stopped caring so much about having others approval. You don't have to be a bad person, you just have to not let others stomp on you and have a marking personality.
You have to be both nice and smart. No matter how nice a person is, I'm not going to associate with them if they associate themselves with trashy, bad people.
Yeah, there are lots of crackheads getting it too. With other crackheads. And so are lots of spouse beaters. Just because they're having sex doesn't mean they are in any sort of meaningful, lasting relationship LMAO. All some of y'all can think about is "getting pussy" and thats why not even the crackhead women want you.
You are correct, girls often are put on a pedestal, and people often give them what they want IF they are attractive. So you gotta (neg) her. Negging is the act of giving them insulting them in a good way to knock them off their pedestal. They are always usually shaken but then they realize that you are different and it's a breath of fresh air -- they love it! Thus, making them gain attraction towards you
I don't think I've met a guy who's actually nice without trying to get something out of it. Except for my first step father he was actually a great guy and everyone loved him. I'd rather have met a nice guy than the idiots I've known.
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