Most Helpful Opinions
You shouldn't. You don't have to be a "Bad Boy" either. Just unapologetically be you, regardless of what people think. Don't fake anything for anyone. It's SO much more liberating when you don't have to keep BS'ing to impress people who'd never like you, nor matter how golden your personality was.
Sincerely, a former Nice Person.1225
Be whatever you want40
What Girls & Guys Said
They take advantage of you because they know you are good. Which is not your fault, it's good that you have a good heart. I've had similar experience in my earlier years and it taught me to have clearer visvision.
Western women love good men if they can get something from you and still look at you as a chump at the same time. Meanwhile their unclean hearts want men they see as more masculine with aggression and knacks for outsmarting, disrespecting, or abusing others - the women included.
I am not going to tell you to go the route of being this way to attract women, because if you do ultimately you will be unhappy when you get one, because her heart isn't really good and she's only attracted to you for being one of these bad "alphas." You're only doing something to attract a woman who won't like or love you for who you really are.0
Never be that nice guy. Be the good guy with an edge and the ability to walk away. Have something going on in your life.1
Sounds like you're practicing the Red Pill.
Same for men, there are no excuses for shit-tier women who take advantage of others; I'm sorry you had to endure whatever BS you had to go through.
My advice is lower your expectations on appearances, set clear boundaries for no one to cross, become more assertive, and focus on core values you have and want in a future partner. Work on yourself, and develop healthy habits. If you're healthy body (exercise, eat right, etc) and mind (therapy, medication if needed), you can get a girl who may not be a boss bitch and have that bad bitch look, but instead has a lot of room for improvement (willingness to exercise with you without being forced, etc) and already has the personality/compassion/empathy/patience/love to be a great partner/parent. Even though this is unpopular to say, women gravitate to men who can lead and set a good example through compassion/honest with that bit of male assertiveness that can command a room, we want to be lead.
Much like how some men take a good woman for granted, us being attracted to bad boys is our immaturity showing its ass. When you see that shit, walk away, we'll learn our lesson when we're 40 and still single with or without children.46
I get the whole bad guy thing, its weird why women are so into that. But in the end, the bad guy thing doesn't really have any value. When you are a nice guy, women look down on you as they think of themselves of the upper factor of the relationship which is not many like, some do but not many. On the other hand, when you are a bad guy, you become the upper factor of the relationship by being mean and talking down to her but in the long term, that doesn't work out because the bad guy charm then turns into something they don't want because they can't see a future in it. Being a bad guy is only a short term thing because it makes women feel more alive or something similar but then the feeling dies out and they want what the nice guy could have given them.
I know, complicated as hell. So the best thing to do is be neither of the both. Don't be a nice guy or a bad guy, when you meet a person, be a gentleman but you need to show them that you are like this out of courtesy and good behaviour for yourself. You are not a gentleman for them or any other person at all, you are a gentleman for yourself.
It was said, "Be a King for yourself first and many will follow later". Be nice to people in general and not with just women but also be brutally honest about your opinion if someone needs to hear it. Bring factors from both a nice guy and a bad guy, but never completely become one or the other.0
You should become the bad boy.
We've all been there at some point in our lives. The point is, you should not remain a nice guy. The whole point is that you become the 'bad boy'. Because like you've pointed out, that's what women are attracted to. They can deny it as much as they want in order to save face, but the truth is, they don't want the nice guy. They want that dominant man who is emotionally stable and even shows stoicism. We've heard women cry about "toxic masculinity" around. Yet funny enough, they themselves are attracted to some of these "toxic masculinity" traits. They want the guy who doesn't give a rat's ass about them and who isn't scared to drop them in a heartbeat.
In the end, life is all about adaptation. It's all about survival of the fittest. If you want to achieve things, you have to adapt in order to get it. And women want bad boys, so go and become the bad boy. And as someone who is considered to be a 'bad boy' myself by many others, I can tell you that the only time I had dealt with most heartache, confusion and headaches was the time when I was being the nice guy.1
Every guy and girl at some point gets taken advantage of or feels taken advantage of at some point in the dating process. At the end of the day you just have to stay true to yourself and take every experience and opportunity to hone your dating skills to get better at it. In the process make the changes you need to make to become the best version of yourself possible.
So yes I think you are mistaken, but everyone changes over time no matter what it is... nothing ever stays the same. But its not about being bad or good. Its about doing the right thing and being honest with people... some people will respond to it in positive way or bad way. But that does not make you good or bad... its just knowing what you want and going after it... and being honest with yourself and with the other person.
With some people they just make themselves door mats and they never figure out why that is. In the end its always about the choice they made... so I hope you can figure out the point I am making here and start making better choices.0
They're probably enjoying that you're taking a more dominant role, not any concept of "good" or "bad". I mean, if that's the dynamic you want in a relationship, then go for it, but it is a lot of work being completely dominant. You're in charge of decisions for two people, entertainment, reading their mood and directing it.
I went that direction for a while because it's enjoyable when playing around to mold women to what you want, but it gets old fast. Aside from them throwing hissy fits and tantrums, you become the only source of meaningful input in the relationship, which can be boring as hell.
Figure the type of partner you want to be, the type of partner you want, how realistic that is to achieve, and how you would go about achieving that dynamic. Be yourself, and if other women take advantage of that, cast them aside until you find someone who will work with you.
Ultimately if you act as a character who you are not, eventually you will be in a relationship, and need to maintain that character. That's a headache and a half compared to maintaining the character of you, even if getting to the starting line is more difficult. If it's a.1% chance, that just means you have to throw yourself out there thousands of times. It sounds like a lot, but you'll find if you go out and just do it, you can throw yourself out there hundreds of times in a week. If you burn out one area, drive to a college.0
I am afraid this is just a sterotypical trend of this day and age. Not thats its any more new than it was twenty years ago. there's nothing wrong with be a nice person but you have to understand at the same time that not every woman on this planet is going to be attracted to that just like there are woman who are not attracted to mean guys. I am a genuine kind soul and because of that I have been walked and trampled over in my life, but reguardless of that I have not let that define who I am or who I need to be. Letting other people decide who you are is no better than just getting trampled over. Its merely exchanging one misery for another. You can't be something your not, and if your truly are a kind individual than turning into an asshole won't work, it may get you some tail but it will get you no closer to anything worth having.
So your done being the nice guy, thats your choice, but your only letting yourself get used all over again in a different manner. Your still being taken an advantage of and that won't change no matter what persona you take on. Embrace who you are, accept that person for who they are, do this instead of trying to change. There are over 6 billion people in the world and I am 110% positive that you have barely meant 0000000.1% of them.0
Be a good person for yourself and not for others or for what you believe you can get from others for being kind. Know it is okay to say no when people try and take advangage. The people with respect will be there afterward and the users will leave quickly.90
Here's the thing, mate.
Being a "good person" is literally the minimum effort. In fact, being "good" shouldn't even be an effort for you, that's how basic it is.
If treating women with respect and goodwill, without expectation of anything but respect and goodwill in turn (not sex, just being treated like a human), is too much effort for you - it's no wonder no one wants to date you.
Being nice isn't a substitute for a personality or a life someone would want to be part of.45
You are probably a nice guy, if you look like this:
He has to nice or I won't give him the time of the day. However, if you look like that, I don't want you. Instead, I want the star soccer player. He's hot.
If you are not hot, you can’t get a girl by being a bad boy. Bad boys don't get girls because they are bad boys, but they can get girls if they are hot. What girls really want is a hot guy that will treat them like the foregoing nice guy would. The problem is, every girl wants the star soccer player so he doesn't have to be nice.215
You are either dating the wrong women or you have the wrong about what it means to be nice. Nice does not mean having no boundaries or fawning over a woman in the hope that will get you into her bed.
"end up getting taken advantage of..." That has nothing to do with being nice. If this is happening repeatedly, it's not because you are nice. It's because you have poor boundaries and invest too much in a relationship too soon. This will make you attractive to women who are happy to take advantage of weak men, and turn off women looking for emotional maturity.21
ITS NOT ABOUT BEING NICE OR EVIL.
(It’s about being hot and fearless.)
If you look like this…..
And you act like an A—HOLE… and you treat people “women” poorly…..
Ain’t nobody gonna want to F—K you!
All you’re gonna do it get jailed!
They call them “BAD BOYS” not because they’re “evil”. That’s just a metaphor.
The hot guys tend to be narcissistic and full of themselves because women spoil them. All the women WANT them, therefore these women spread their legs and spoil these men like you’d never know! That makes those men feel privileged and entitled. But their looks back them up. They KNOW they got the looks.
That’s why women go for the so-called “BADDDD” boy.
A. K. A the “HOT ENTITLED BOY”.128
So, I’m going to bring myself in for a bit.
I do consider myself a “nice guy,” but I don’t consider myself someone who will let others, specifically women, take advantage of me, use me, etc. Also, while I’m a “nice guy” I do many things that may be characterized as stereotypically masculine such as train fighting, shoot guns, lift weights, etc. I’m currently in the US Army working as an infantryman, which is perhaps one of the most man dominated jobs in any military all across the world. I think what I’m trying to say is, having balance is ultimately what is attractive. You don’t want to be a “nice guy” who lets women take advantage of him or men for that matter. Also, you don’t want to look like you can’t protect your friends and family.10
I dont live for others. I won't be what others expect of me. I WILL return the same energy you throw at me. If you radiate sunshine then ill care if you yell ill yell back.
there's a difference between being a badboy and being a nice guy... And being frank and not caring if you hurt some bitches feelings when she's being a sassy cunt isn't being a badboy its being an asshole and i support that. Being kind to get somewhere in life isn't being a nice guy. Its being a manipulator at best a SIMP at worst...
Dont live for women or society. Its not hard to be a better person and just accept what comes your way. Not every man or woman wil get a partner. Many will die alone. Especially women these days lmao. It does no good to try and be what society and women want when societies chaging and women dont know what they want... Just do yourself and see what comes along.0
Are you a nice guy or a "nice guy", notice the quotation on the latter. A nice guy is a man who is genuinely cordial and pleasant to everyone irrespective of his sexual interest. He treats them nicely because he himself is secure emotionally and doesn't feel the need to put anyone down to make himself feel better or bigger.
Now were you trying to act extra nice and accommodative to your dates? That is a big red flag for women because they inherently know and realize that your perceived sexual mean value (SMV) is lower than theirs and act accordingly.0
Don't be the nice guy, nothing dries a girl up faster than them knowing how much you like them. You have to be indifferent about them, then they will try to get your attention.
Sure they like to phrase it in stupid ways like "be nice without expecting anything in return" so just what I said, be indifferent, they like guys who don't care if they're there or not..
Seems stupid to me,, if I don't care about weither or not I get the girl then I don't fuck with that girl,, I try to be around girls I care about,, but that just gets you rejected or worse,, friendzoned. Their idea of treating people like people is very different from mine.0
Nice isn't synonymous with weak, which sadly is often what guys really are when they're talking about saying being a nice guy. You're just too weak to stand up for yourself when it matters.
That's not the same thing. Nice is more about the general tone and if you the actions that you take. You can protect yourself while not being an asshole oh, but you do need to have the ability to be an asshole when it's warranted
If you're nice, because you don't have the ability to be not nice. You're just weak and that's unattractive
Weak male Behavior gets punished by reality2
Were you only being a nice guy so that you will attract women? If so, then you were never a nice guy to being with.
From what I hear, you are just an opportunistic guy that pretends to be nice.
Girls are not necessarily looking for bad guys but a confident guy, that knows what he is doing, who is doing things because he wants to and not just to look "nice", usually never fails to attract.
No one asked you to be a nice guy, no one asked you to be nice only to be taken advantage by women. That's all on you.
So now you want to change, to be a bad guy just so you can attract women. You are a sad person.3
The ultimate conclusion of red pill philosophy (expressed by youtubers as well as reddit) is as follows:
1. Focus on yourself first. When you are in a state of life where you are pretty much setlled, then go for women as you will have something desirable
2. The roadmap is as follows: physical fitness, dressing, money, social skills. Work on it one by one
3. Woman is a luxury, not a necessity. A single man can get enough women pregnant so it's not an urgent thing for you to get married and stuff.
4. Forget Women and dating, focus on yourself. When you can assure yourself that a woman does not have a reason to reject you, go back into dating.
5. Being nice to get something isn't being nice. Be like a king, generous without expectations. This king mentality takes time to develop and for this to happen, you should be away from women and those who use your kindness0
Most Helpful Opinions
Our societies in the West are very much uncultured. In more cultured societies, bad people are more outcasted socially and good people are more encouraged and empowered. It is not that being good is weak. It is not. It is actually strength and very much of it. It is just that in uncultured societies there is no such a thing as social justice. Noone cares unless a violent crime has taken place. The women of today think that "Bad Boys" are stronger. The truth is they are weaker and way weaker. They are soulless and degraded. They have sold their soul to the devil. Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. People from more cultured societies know this. Being a bad boy is much easier than being a good person. The way our social situations are structured, doing the wrong things lead to empowerment. In high schools the narcisstic bullies are the popular guys. And for some reason I can never figure out women seem to have some very toxic attraction to these backwards people. Perhpas they see them as dominant. I don't know. a lot of women have rape fantasies. I think it is mass mental illness. If we lived in a society that empowered good people to stand up to the bs, more good men would and women would find the good men more dominant. The way things are today, specially in the West, for a person to do the right thing it feels like they have to go against the whole world. But for a bad person to do the wrong thing, it is as if society supports them, won't punish them and women are even attracted. There is intensive for it. With regards to your situation, you are born alone, you die alone and all you really have is your own soul. Do you want to sell your soul for more respect in an inherrintly backwards society? Don't be as such as people can take advantage of you neither. If needed disown most people. But be true to yourself. Perhaps workout and take some martial arts classes. Seek meditation and healing and self improvement. Do what is right for you. Don't turn into a demon because a lot of people are doing it. These people have no lives and will never get anywhere and will be in unbearable regret when they are on their dying bed. They wasted their whole life. I am not religous but I have heard that Jesus says, "They gain the world and lose their soul". When they truly realize they have lost their soul, that is your retribution. And they will. It is better to be alone by yourself, than be amongst people who think kindness and goodness is weakness. Things you must aspire to be is looked as weakness. These people don't know what they are talking about. Don't let the psychopaths fool you. Be a better more careful judge of character and trust your instincts. Women who give you a bad vibe, don't go around them, let alone be in a relationship with them. There are still lots of good people in the world, they are just not loud and in clubs doing drugs. You are going to the wrong places. When I was young, I was alittle bit of a bully, I was alittle bit of a criminal, and I drank a lot, smoked a lot, smoked weed a lot, did some drugs. Girls were all over me. But as I became older and conciously became a better person, slowly friends disappeard, girls got less. It was truly shocking to me. Second part of this I am writing in next message. There is limt to the number of words.
Until I realized we live in a very backwards toxic world. Be true to yourself my man, even if the whole world is against you. Ignore, disown, move on. You know in your heart what is right and what is wrong. Just because everybody is doing the wrong things doesn't make it right. Heal your wounds, empower yourself and you will stand like a mountain. Most of these girls that are attracted to those guys don't end up having good lives. a lot of them are single when they are old. And a lot of them regret their whole life and realize that the shaky shy guy who they friendzoned was the kind of guy who would stand by them till they are 90. But they chose the rich toxic guy and now they are used and abused and broken and noone truly wants them or will properly love them. My main point to you is, prioritize yourself and your own wellbeing. If you do meditation and are alittle sensitive to energy, you will see, these people are full of garbage toxic energy. They are not well inside at all. They are damaging to themselves and everyone. Most of all, they are fast sleep, unconious people.
I don't know if I agree with you but you both of you bring him some very valid points thank you.