I may be mistaken. So I am inherently a good person so I am nice to women I date but end up getting taken advantage of. I came to a conclusion that you have to talk down on women and be an asshole to let her know you have value. It is complicated to explain why this works but if you talk to her shoulder to shoulder and look up at her then she won’t see you as dominant. However, if you talk down on her then she will see you as dominant and that’s what girls are into so you have to be a little bit mean and not a total asshole but I think I figured out the guy I want to be. I tried to be the nice guy and it just didn’t workout for me so I am done being the nice guy.
Our societies in the West are very much uncultured. In more cultured societies, bad people are more outcasted socially and good people are more encouraged and empowered. It is not that being good is weak. It is not. It is actually strength and very much of it. It is just that in uncultured societies there is no such a thing as social justice. Noone cares unless a violent crime has taken place. The women of today think that "Bad Boys" are stronger. The truth is they are weaker and way weaker. They are soulless and degraded. They have sold their soul to the devil. Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. People from more cultured societies know this. Being a bad boy is much easier than being a good person. The way our social situations are structured, doing the wrong things lead to empowerment. In high schools the narcisstic bullies are the popular guys. And for some reason I can never figure out women seem to have some very toxic attraction to these backwards people. Perhpas they see them as dominant. I don't know. a lot of women have rape fantasies. I think it is mass mental illness. If we lived in a society that empowered good people to stand up to the bs, more good men would and women would find the good men more dominant. The way things are today, specially in the West, for a person to do the right thing it feels like they have to go against the whole world. But for a bad person to do the wrong thing, it is as if society supports them, won't punish them and women are even attracted. There is intensive for it. With regards to your situation, you are born alone, you die alone and all you really have is your own soul. Do you want to sell your soul for more respect in an inherrintly backwards society? Don't be as such as people can take advantage of you neither. If needed disown most people. But be true to yourself. Perhaps workout and take some martial arts classes. Seek meditation and healing and self improvement. Do what is right for you. Don't turn into a demon because a lot of people are doing it. These people have no lives and will never get anywhere and will be in unbearable regret when they are on their dying bed. They wasted their whole life. I am not religous but I have heard that Jesus says, "They gain the world and lose their soul". When they truly realize they have lost their soul, that is your retribution. And they will. It is better to be alone by yourself, than be amongst people who think kindness and goodness is weakness. Things you must aspire to be is looked as weakness. These people don't know what they are talking about. Don't let the psychopaths fool you. Be a better more careful judge of character and trust your instincts. Women who give you a bad vibe, don't go around them, let alone be in a relationship with them. There are still lots of good people in the world, they are just not loud and in clubs doing drugs. You are going to the wrong places. When I was young, I was alittle bit of a bully, I was alittle bit of a criminal, and I drank a lot, smoked a lot, smoked weed a lot, did some drugs. Girls were all over me. But as I became older and conciously became a better person, slowly friends disappeard, girls got less. It was truly shocking to me. Second part of this I am writing in next message. There is limt to the number of words.
Until I realized we live in a very backwards toxic world. Be true to yourself my man, even if the whole world is against you. Ignore, disown, move on. You know in your heart what is right and what is wrong. Just because everybody is doing the wrong things doesn't make it right. Heal your wounds, empower yourself and you will stand like a mountain. Most of these girls that are attracted to those guys don't end up having good lives. a lot of them are single when they are old. And a lot of them regret their whole life and realize that the shaky shy guy who they friendzoned was the kind of guy who would stand by them till they are 90. But they chose the rich toxic guy and now they are used and abused and broken and noone truly wants them or will properly love them. My main point to you is, prioritize yourself and your own wellbeing. If you do meditation and are alittle sensitive to energy, you will see, these people are full of garbage toxic energy. They are not well inside at all. They are damaging to themselves and everyone. Most of all, they are fast sleep, unconious people.
You shouldn't. You don't have to be a "Bad Boy" either. Just unapologetically be you, regardless of what people think. Don't fake anything for anyone. It's SO much more liberating when you don't have to keep BS'ing to impress people who'd never like you, nor matter how golden your personality was.
One thing I will tell you about women: Most of them (who aren't gay) will want the SAME exact f*ckin' type of man: Over six feet tall, chiseled jawline, abs, broad shoulders, athlete's body, between 25 and 40, etc. While men have a huge variety of women they go for and there's pretty much a type of female body for all straight men on Earth, the same does NOT apply towards women!
Most women end up settling with someone they don't love, but don't outright hate, either. Someone who can simp and kiss their ass just enough to last 10 or 20 years or so. Once you've talked to enough women, you start to realize just how little personality actually matters. How do you think some of the worst men on Earth still get women? Yes, it's easy to point to them being "bad boys" as the case. But the truth is, they just don't treat women as important. They, ironically, treat women the same way so many women treat men: As a commodity. As someone to use and get things from.
I'm not trying to drop a full bottle of Red Pills on you. I just have enough life experience and wisdom to know what 20 year old me did not. The simple fact that MOST women are not worth the bullsh*t they come with. No amount of sex in the world is worth that. Just look at Johnny Depp; MF'er was a multimillionaire and he's still being f*cked over by Elon Musk's ex.
Another ironic thing is, I'm probably one of the most romantic men out there. I'd give me heart and soul for the right woman. I'm just smart enough now to know that woman is a pure fantasy. The type of woman I'd do that for doesn't exist and real people are covered in too much sh*t and piss for me to get my hands dirty.
The sooner you realize most people suck (men and women, but I'm assuming you're not gay) and the more you talk to men who got divorced, the more you'll learn to be grateful to be single, rather than being with the wrong one. (Most women are the "wrong one." Like 98% of 'em.)
"One thing I will tell you about women: Most of them (who aren't gay) will want the SAME exact f*ckin' type of man: Over six feet tall, chiseled jawline, abs, broad shoulders, athlete's body, between 25 and 40, etc. While men have a huge variety of women they go for and there's pretty much a type of female body for all straight men on Earth, the same does NOT apply towards women!"
No thanks. Serial killer documentaries and movies sort of taught me to be careful around overly handsome men of any race. Like if I was a CEO or something then I would be relaxed because I'll see these type of men all the time; but I'm just your average Jane so having a guy of that status and flawless appearance randomly come up to me like, "Want to got for a ride on my Yacht," makes me feel like I'm about to be trafficked or murdered for my organs.
However, I know what you mean by many women wanting the fairytale prince to be everything they ever wanted; life just doesn't work that way. Perfection is a fantasy, there's no man out there without flaws.
@MCheetah You're spot on in my opinion. I've been w/ a ton of women in my life I'm a 6'2 former athlete over 40 still w/ my abs and w/ money. I've never had a problem getting a woman partly because I just treat them like a disposable commodity, and keep an abundance mentality. Only thing I disagree w/ is that most women dont settle for the simp it's probably 33/33/33 between the simp the high value guy that cheats and someone basic.
Asker I recommend you read Corey Wayne’s “how to be a 3% man”. He gives good advice on things “nice guys” do to turn women off but he doesn’t say turning into an asshole.
As a former “nice guy” myself I know EXACTLY how you feel. It sucks. Especially at your age. But truth be told you will never be able to completely transform your personality unless you get Brian damage or PTSD from a very serious combat situation (military conflict). And you don’t want that to happen. Trust me.
@EmyyWolf Not sure why you felt the need to tag me I've spent a lifetime banging chicks. Rule number 1 never take relationship advice from women as you just proved they do not listen or comprehend very well.
——- ASKER: Any man that tells you they bang chics. They don’t do that shit. No hot, tough, fearless man gonna say they “BANG CHICS”. They don’t haveeeee to say it. Trust me… 😑
Not everyone is hot, some people can't just turn hot in a few seconds. Unlike women, guys don't have something like makeup to put a fake mask on of how they look like.
@EmyyWolf steroids are terrible for you, horrible for your body. It would be as damaging as taking heroine. Sure it bulks you up faster but eventually the guys dick stops working, can't grow facial hair, and some even go bald. It's just all around terrible for you
@EmyyWolf That's just something you need to tell yourself to help justify your narrow belief. It's easier to tell your self that then actually provide any substance to the conversation.
@Vegasrunner Dude.. I’m trying to help him. You’re a simp and full of 💩. I never met no Alpha guy that was using the internet this much… they don’t tend to be on their phone… unlike women fags and simps.
They take advantage of you because they know you are good. Which is not your fault, it's good that you have a good heart. I've had similar experience in my earlier years and it taught me to have clearer visvision.
Western women love good men if they can get something from you and still look at you as a chump at the same time. Meanwhile their unclean hearts want men they see as more masculine with aggression and knacks for outsmarting, disrespecting, or abusing others - the women included.
I am not going to tell you to go the route of being this way to attract women, because if you do ultimately you will be unhappy when you get one, because her heart isn't really good and she's only attracted to you for being one of these bad "alphas." You're only doing something to attract a woman who won't like or love you for who you really are.
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coachTanthony | 1.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Influencer
9 d
Never be that nice guy. Be the good guy with an edge and the ability to walk away. Have something going on in your life.
I get the whole bad guy thing, its weird why women are so into that. But in the end, the bad guy thing doesn't really have any value. When you are a nice guy, women look down on you as they think of themselves of the upper factor of the relationship which is not many like, some do but not many. On the other hand, when you are a bad guy, you become the upper factor of the relationship by being mean and talking down to her but in the long term, that doesn't work out because the bad guy charm then turns into something they don't want because they can't see a future in it. Being a bad guy is only a short term thing because it makes women feel more alive or something similar but then the feeling dies out and they want what the nice guy could have given them. I know, complicated as hell. So the best thing to do is be neither of the both. Don't be a nice guy or a bad guy, when you meet a person, be a gentleman but you need to show them that you are like this out of courtesy and good behaviour for yourself. You are not a gentleman for them or any other person at all, you are a gentleman for yourself.
It was said, "Be a King for yourself first and many will follow later". Be nice to people in general and not with just women but also be brutally honest about your opinion if someone needs to hear it. Bring factors from both a nice guy and a bad guy, but never completely become one or the other.
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TruthBringer | 453 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda
10 d
You should become the bad boy.
We've all been there at some point in our lives. The point is, you should not remain a nice guy. The whole point is that you become the 'bad boy'. Because like you've pointed out, that's what women are attracted to. They can deny it as much as they want in order to save face, but the truth is, they don't want the nice guy. They want that dominant man who is emotionally stable and even shows stoicism. We've heard women cry about "toxic masculinity" around. Yet funny enough, they themselves are attracted to some of these "toxic masculinity" traits. They want the guy who doesn't give a rat's ass about them and who isn't scared to drop them in a heartbeat.
In the end, life is all about adaptation. It's all about survival of the fittest. If you want to achieve things, you have to adapt in order to get it. And women want bad boys, so go and become the bad boy. And as someone who is considered to be a 'bad boy' myself by many others, I can tell you that the only time I had dealt with most heartache, confusion and headaches was the time when I was being the nice guy.
Every guy and girl at some point gets taken advantage of or feels taken advantage of at some point in the dating process. At the end of the day you just have to stay true to yourself and take every experience and opportunity to hone your dating skills to get better at it. In the process make the changes you need to make to become the best version of yourself possible.
So yes I think you are mistaken, but everyone changes over time no matter what it is... nothing ever stays the same. But its not about being bad or good. Its about doing the right thing and being honest with people... some people will respond to it in positive way or bad way. But that does not make you good or bad... its just knowing what you want and going after it... and being honest with yourself and with the other person.
With some people they just make themselves door mats and they never figure out why that is. In the end its always about the choice they made... so I hope you can figure out the point I am making here and start making better choices.
They're probably enjoying that you're taking a more dominant role, not any concept of "good" or "bad". I mean, if that's the dynamic you want in a relationship, then go for it, but it is a lot of work being completely dominant. You're in charge of decisions for two people, entertainment, reading their mood and directing it.
I went that direction for a while because it's enjoyable when playing around to mold women to what you want, but it gets old fast. Aside from them throwing hissy fits and tantrums, you become the only source of meaningful input in the relationship, which can be boring as hell.
Figure the type of partner you want to be, the type of partner you want, how realistic that is to achieve, and how you would go about achieving that dynamic. Be yourself, and if other women take advantage of that, cast them aside until you find someone who will work with you.
Ultimately if you act as a character who you are not, eventually you will be in a relationship, and need to maintain that character. That's a headache and a half compared to maintaining the character of you, even if getting to the starting line is more difficult. If it's a.1% chance, that just means you have to throw yourself out there thousands of times. It sounds like a lot, but you'll find if you go out and just do it, you can throw yourself out there hundreds of times in a week. If you burn out one area, drive to a college.
I am afraid this is just a sterotypical trend of this day and age. Not thats its any more new than it was twenty years ago. there's nothing wrong with be a nice person but you have to understand at the same time that not every woman on this planet is going to be attracted to that just like there are woman who are not attracted to mean guys. I am a genuine kind soul and because of that I have been walked and trampled over in my life, but reguardless of that I have not let that define who I am or who I need to be. Letting other people decide who you are is no better than just getting trampled over. Its merely exchanging one misery for another. You can't be something your not, and if your truly are a kind individual than turning into an asshole won't work, it may get you some tail but it will get you no closer to anything worth having.
So your done being the nice guy, thats your choice, but your only letting yourself get used all over again in a different manner. Your still being taken an advantage of and that won't change no matter what persona you take on. Embrace who you are, accept that person for who they are, do this instead of trying to change. There are over 6 billion people in the world and I am 110% positive that you have barely meant 0000000.1% of them.
Same for men, there are no excuses for shit-tier women who take advantage of others; I'm sorry you had to endure whatever BS you had to go through.
My advice is lower your expectations on appearances, set clear boundaries for no one to cross, become more assertive, and focus on core values you have and want in a future partner. Work on yourself, and develop healthy habits. If you're healthy body (exercise, eat right, etc) and mind (therapy, medication if needed), you can get a girl who may not be a boss bitch and have that bad bitch look, but instead has a lot of room for improvement (willingness to exercise with you without being forced, etc) and already has the personality/compassion/empathy/patience/love to be a great partner/parent. Even though this is unpopular to say, women gravitate to men who can lead and set a good example through compassion/honest with that bit of male assertiveness that can command a room, we want to be lead.
Much like how some men take a good woman for granted, us being attracted to bad boys is our immaturity showing its ass. When you see that shit, walk away, we'll learn our lesson when we're 40 and still single with or without children.
Excellent feedback @skycastle90 especially about the “drawing the line and walking away” part. I had to learn to do that later in life. It’s about taking the power back.
I don’t want to throw all women under the bus because some like yourself realize the bs that’s going on in society. Women are self sabotaging themselves with this modern feminist bs. They think that taking advantage of men shows they are “strong”. They might enjoy some short term benefits but in the long run they will realize the huge mistakes they made.
With that said it’s good for men to be gentlemen to women who deserve it. But honestly boys and young men are extremely confused nowadays on what it is to “be a man”. It’s not easy for them and society doesn’t help. They need coaching.
It's such a vicious cycle. You got women having babies to save relationships and men who walk away from the woman, but sadly from their child as well. There are good single mothers out there, I've met one once; but then you have majority of single moms who live in doubt, anger and fear that are raising children who are growing up confused and guilty for just being alive or even worse, punished for their gender depending on who the mother hates the most, the father or herself.
As for women who was raised by your stereotypical angry single mom I can definitely say our single mothers feed us the highest dose of poison because we are neither taught how to even talk to men nor understand them, instead we are taught to use them and to view them as gullible, sex-driven subordinates. What saved me is that I grew up around my grandmother who is a dedicated wife to the same man since she was 19 or younger, so she taught me all she could until it got a bit too dated.
As for men, I see my male family members cheating, divorcing, and remarrying; they're lost and picking women who act like their destructive single mom, so I agree with you 100%.
@skycastle90 the 60s sex revolution really screwed a lot of this up. It was supposed to be “liberating” for women to make choices on who to sleep with whether they are married or not. This in turn led to what you described above which in turn led to hordes of confused and angry “nice guys”. Most of these guys would of been happily married in a different time era.
Anyway I’m glad you got this perspective. But honestly it’s tough very tough for most single well meaning guys out there nowadays. I’ve been raked over the coals when I was younger because of this bs. I did go through a “man whore” don’t give a shit phase in my late 20s and early 30s. There are drawbacks to that as well. But really from a man’s POV there is really nothing worse than treating a woman with respect just to have her reject you (usually by friéndzone) because in her mind your boring and lack challenge.
One of the best things in life was discovering the red pill. It is after I indulged in it that I started to find meaningful relationship free of toxicity like the one I'm in now.
If it wasn't for my grandmother showing me what it means to be a true wife and mother, I probably would have went through a whore phase too and popped a few babies out, but instead my fiancé is my first and only. I'm not his first though, which is alright I never expected to be lol.
@skycastle90 motherhood is severely under rated. Yeah you would of likely slept around and chased “bad boys” thinking you would get some romance novel fantasy form to fruition (meanwhile ignoring many good guy opportunities)
The problem is these so called women we being told to “follow their heart” only to indulge their debase inclinations and wind up heartbroken. But its their own god damn fault. Meanwhile good guys get burned and bad boys get rewarded. Hence the vicious cycle that makes originally genuine guys like the QA and myself feel pressured to “learn the game”. In the end everybody loses but again I do confidently blame radical feminism for screwing this all up from the start.
Most guys are well intentioned. We may feel impulses to be promiscuous but really we too yearn for a meaningful relationship, marriage and fatherhood. None of those are intended to “control” women like feminists claim.
VanillaSalt | 496 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda
9 d
I dont live for others. I won't be what others expect of me. I WILL return the same energy you throw at me. If you radiate sunshine then ill care if you yell ill yell back.
there's a difference between being a badboy and being a nice guy... And being frank and not caring if you hurt some bitches feelings when she's being a sassy cunt isn't being a badboy its being an asshole and i support that. Being kind to get somewhere in life isn't being a nice guy. Its being a manipulator at best a SIMP at worst...
Dont live for women or society. Its not hard to be a better person and just accept what comes your way. Not every man or woman wil get a partner. Many will die alone. Especially women these days lmao. It does no good to try and be what society and women want when societies chaging and women dont know what they want... Just do yourself and see what comes along.
Are you a nice guy or a "nice guy", notice the quotation on the latter. A nice guy is a man who is genuinely cordial and pleasant to everyone irrespective of his sexual interest. He treats them nicely because he himself is secure emotionally and doesn't feel the need to put anyone down to make himself feel better or bigger.
Now were you trying to act extra nice and accommodative to your dates? That is a big red flag for women because they inherently know and realize that your perceived sexual mean value (SMV) is lower than theirs and act accordingly.
Don't be the nice guy, nothing dries a girl up faster than them knowing how much you like them. You have to be indifferent about them, then they will try to get your attention.
Sure they like to phrase it in stupid ways like "be nice without expecting anything in return" so just what I said, be indifferent, they like guys who don't care if they're there or not..
Seems stupid to me,, if I don't care about weither or not I get the girl then I don't fuck with that girl,, I try to be around girls I care about,, but that just gets you rejected or worse,, friendzoned. Their idea of treating people like people is very different from mine.
Nice isn't synonymous with weak, which sadly is often what guys really are when they're talking about saying being a nice guy. You're just too weak to stand up for yourself when it matters.
That's not the same thing. Nice is more about the general tone and if you the actions that you take. You can protect yourself while not being an asshole oh, but you do need to have the ability to be an asshole when it's warranted
If you're nice, because you don't have the ability to be not nice. You're just weak and that's unattractive
But I will give you one thing. Girls do call a lot of shit being mean or being selfish that really aren't. So if you're going by that standard then okay
Were you only being a nice guy so that you will attract women? If so, then you were never a nice guy to being with. From what I hear, you are just an opportunistic guy that pretends to be nice. Girls are not necessarily looking for bad guys but a confident guy, that knows what he is doing, who is doing things because he wants to and not just to look "nice", usually never fails to attract. No one asked you to be a nice guy, no one asked you to be nice only to be taken advantage by women. That's all on you. So now you want to change, to be a bad guy just so you can attract women. You are a sad person.
Sometimes confidence isn't enough. A lot of women want a dominate man. Some guys out there are naturally kind to everyone, not very dominate and if they are usually is the kind and gentle dominate. Nice guys don't want to take control, they want the woman to know she has her own control over herself and him over himself. But that's not "man" enough for her. And if a guy is below the average height. Yeah, good luck ever finding anyone
@SeanshterMonster I'm not saying that only confidence is needed. If the guy is kind and gentle in nature but had to pretend to be a bad guy just to attract women (like what asker is intending to do), I see him as a pathetic person.
The ultimate conclusion of red pill philosophy (expressed by youtubers as well as reddit) is as follows: 1. Focus on yourself first. When you are in a state of life where you are pretty much setlled, then go for women as you will have something desirable 2. The roadmap is as follows: physical fitness, dressing, money, social skills. Work on it one by one 3. Woman is a luxury, not a necessity. A single man can get enough women pregnant so it's not an urgent thing for you to get married and stuff. 4. Forget Women and dating, focus on yourself. When you can assure yourself that a woman does not have a reason to reject you, go back into dating. 5. Being nice to get something isn't being nice. Be like a king, generous without expectations. This king mentality takes time to develop and for this to happen, you should be away from women and those who use your kindness
You don't need to give yourself a label if you give yourself a labeled then you're trying to impress somebody the only person you have to impress is yourself do what's right somebody wants to label you let them live with you that doesn't mean that's who you are you can be a good guy and then all the sudden any part of the day something might happen and you might have to get that ass and that's just what life's all about I don't label yourself and put yourself in a corner you are who you are this is the thing we choose who we want to be by the things we say and do just follow that
Because nice guys... aren't nice. They think being subservient entitles them to a womans affection. Its selfish actually. Meanwhile the so-called bad guy is just cool with himself and women either fit with him or they dont. It doesn't bother him. Thats the difference.
Focus on being yourself instead if trying to impress women for the sake of receiving affection or sex (yes, all you nice guys think being a nice guy should get you sex)... cuz that doesn't really make one "nice" does it?
Women ain't dumb. They can sniff your nice guy antics knowing you're thinking with the other head.
Live your life for yourself. Do what you objectively think are the right things. Spend time thinking about the thing that happen through your day and ask yourself if you're being fair to you.
It doesn't mean to become selfish, it means to stop letting other people dictate what you precieve your self worth to be.
Future said it best
"chase the check, never chase the bitch"
Actually, no this really rich guy I know said it better
"you'll always lose money chacing women, but you'll never lose women chacing money"
So just work on yourself mate, get some goals and don't let anyone stop you. Confidence.
I stopped chasing. A simple introspection, and I determined my Rosebud: building things. I'm happy when I'm creating. And when I finish a creation, and get to release it on the world. I was happiest as a small child when I had the sandbox to myself. Uninhibited creative freedom. Alas, it never lasts.
I get less attention from girls now, but that also means less negative attention. Sure, the occasional crazy chick from out of left field still shows up to start trouble. But she finds out quickly that I will bend nothing in an effort to please her. To get me that way, a woman has to earn it.
This doesn't land me in either the "bad boy" nor "nice guy" categories. Instead, they view me like I'm some crazy monk. So be it.
I have always hated when people allow others to live rent-free in their heads. I am a 100% asshole. However, I will be as nice to someone as they allow me to be. The one thing I hate is dishonest people. People with a history of cheating in relationships, people that can lie on cue, and people that will mooch off of or take credit for anothers' labor. If those apply to you and I know it I will treat you like crap and have nothing to do with you. If they don't we can be friends! I refuse to be disrespected or have people run all over me. That nice guy bad guy thing is something I stopped worrying about years ago. I am just me.
That’s how women work bro , if your too nice she will leave you if you are too bad she will leave you so we have to be in between to keep her interest , Always remember most girls need drama in theirs lives , girls love to gossip and need a man they can talk about , when you basically make it clear you want her but you don’t need her you will have her coming back for more , if you make her feel like you need her she will look at you as weak and start losing interest in you , so you have to be good and bad to keep her coming back for more
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