It’s our fifth date and I got sort of shot down for a kiss?

[Anonymous]

I finally got her to give me her last name. And she’s made it sound like she said issues with guys in the past so she is being extremely slow. But like we’ve been talking for two months, we went out five times. It would be more but we both had some issues for a couple of weeks. She didn’t tell me she’s not interested, but she said that she just wants to take it slow and she needs to feel it out. So I mean there’s slow and then there’s like I’m not asking to have sex with you. Like it’s not that big of a step to kiss me at this point. Getting a bit impatient

[Anonymous]

Ha... they never take it slow with guys they are into. They only make rules for the guys they are luke warm about, and break the rules for the guys they are hot for. The issue is you see her above you, and want or need something from her. You need to be content without and need nothing... then go out with the girl.

[Asker]

I literally told her after our last date that we need to have a kiss sometime soon. And she still out with me this time.

As for being a girl, she’s 54. I like older women. I don’t know what some other guy did to her, but I feel like it’s affecting me and that’s not cooL

[Anonymous]

Well I'm assuming you aren't exclusive. I mean as you said it's only been 5 dates. You're a guy. It's natural to tend to a lot of crops so to speak. And give the most attention to ones that seem most likely to thrive. Her hangups are NOT your problem. You didn't create them. Her and her bad choices have.

[Asker]

We will give it to 8.. I mean I feel like I am a priority for her on the weekends but I don’t know.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand man. And that's why I didn't say dump her. But your needs matter as well. She's got to accept that. And if she unwilling to well then that's tough luck for her.
I only say this because I've been down this path. All it got me was tending to damaged trust from the past. But she still jumped ship when she saw something better she liked. I guess what I'm saying is it's good to work towards a future with someone and what you're doing is not wrong. But at some point you gotta say, "I'm not those previous guys, I'm trusting you. You got to start trusting me if this is going to work".
Good luck man.

[rachel776]

i am having to say this more and more often

[NathanDavis]

maybe she can tell that you're just impatient for one kiss... which can be seen as desperate, and that is not attractive at all

[CountryWanderer]

If you truly like her and respect her, you'll respect her wishes and the pace she's comfortable with.

[spartan55]

Yeah fuck that. If she has that many hangups she shouldn't be dating

[WhitneySnow]

She’s taking it slow. Don’t rush her.