Why does my boyfriend always bring his friends around?

[Slma11]

basically we would make plans together and then when we get home his friends end up going with us and when I feel unhappy or uncomfortable with it he tells me why did you go with me or you should pick something that my friends like and I don’t like hanging out with just only us I like a big group because that’s how I am and he said he doesn’t want to take me somewhere only for me he needs to have fun to he told me i was boring for him
he always brings his friends around we plan for a movie his friends end up going we plan for lunch his friends end up going we planned to go to the lake his friends ended up going and I felt very uncomfortable because he left me and started walking and talking with his friends I got on my phone because I was very uncomfortable and I told him I was nervous and I do not feel right also the age difference I’m 19 his friends are like 26-30 and I don’t wanna be mean to his friends about it but I just don’t want him to keep bringing them I like to have my own privacy but I guess he’s not like that and I say I don’t mind if you hang out with your friends but if you’re gonna hang out with your friends you guys go alone don’t plan something with me and then your friends tagalong I feel very uncomfortable because I’m the only girl and he brings three of his friends to four the last time we went bowling his friends came I was very uncomfortable and very nervous they keep asking me why am I nervous when I’m a nervous also I don’t really warm up to random guys so that’s another reason

[WindAtMyBack]

"i was boring for him"

This says it all.

It's possible for one person in a relationship to be very social and active, while the other prefers a less active and less social lifestyle. That kind of relationship can and does work. However, it isn't working for you. You want to go out and do things, and he thinks you are boring.

An emotional bond is not enough in a relationship. When it comes to compatibility, there are a lot of things thrown in the mix, including the things you are talking about.

He is young. This is very common with young guys. It can take them a while to realize that priorities change as they get older. It's completely normal to see less of friends because the relationship has to be priority for it to work. That doesn't mean you have to drop your friends. It just means you will see less of them.

This transition is a completely normal course of things. It just happens at different rates with different people.

The only thing you can do is talk to him. If he doesn't come around, then you have to decide if it's a deal breaker or not.

[Slma11]

My problem is his friends made me uncomfortable and they try to flirt that’s and they play guys

[WindAtMyBack]

This just sounds like a bad situation all around. His friends are total jerks if they flirt with you. No respectful friend would EVER do that. Flirting with a friend's girlfriend is totally off limits. He needs to find new friends.

[Slma11]

We’ll in india they never each other and he tells them but they never listen all his Indian friends one of them asked me to cook dinner for him and they lie pretend they single but they cheated on they wives and sex all the girls I don’t felt comfortable by them and i feel weird bc im 19 all his friends 30 and stuff i go no businesses hanging w his guy friends or even talking to them like that so thats what I feel

[WindAtMyBack]

Ah, that explains a lot. You might already know that Indian guys have a very bad reputation in the west. They can be extremely creepy. They can say very inappropriate things. They harass girls. Probably every girl on this site who has been here any length of time has had problems with them. A lot of those guys have probably been banned.

I think you are going to have to put your foot down. You are going to have to make it completely clear that what they are doing is wrong, and you will not tolerate it.

You should never have to tolerate them being so disrespectful. You are young and they are older than you, but you need to stand up to them. I understand that's a western view, but it's still what has to be done. This kind of thing needs to change.

[Slma11]

Yeah and i been harassed by Indian men before in my life like mass majority also if they don’t listen to him why would they listen to me but i can try

[Anonymous]

You need to tell him this and I TOTALLY understand what you mean. You are spending time with him not his friends. I have no idea why he would do something like this especially after you have told him you don't like it.

If he is doing things and not telling you that is wrong as well. Now, if he hangs out with his friends sometimes and tells you and leaves it open if you wanted to go then... Fine not a problem there.

I would go as far as to say maybe he doesn't even like being with you that much. That is shitty and I would never be with a girl if she did this sort of thing. This would be reason to break up with her.

I am NOT telling you to break up but this seems like something that if it is bothering you this much or considering breaking up then you need to tell him.

Just admit it his friends are probably weirdos and he does not like just hanging out with you. Not a good sign

[Opinion Owner]

THANKS!

[Anonymous]

If you've bored with you that's already a red flag, maybe the two of you aren't meant to be.

[ohshee]

A form of manipulation he wants you to believe in something it is probably not even true so he can get what he wants he wants to be able to control you anyway I think he is stupid or even going about it the way he does you stupid it'll end up getting him in trouble one day and you walking away

[Avicenna]

Sounds like his priorities are messed up. Does he understand how much this bothers you? I'd be surprised if he'd be willing to change this.

[Slma11]

He says things like he people pleaser he dont care about his happiness he want everyone happy and he said next time he won't take me with the guys

[Slma11]

And he would feel bad if he only takes me and leaves them out he feels bad

[Avicenna]

So he's spineless. Well at least he listened to you.

[Slma11]

Listening isn’t his skill😂😂

[Guy13]

You’re nervous around guys and he finds you boring…Reality TV…. Are you happy?

[Slma11]

I barely know them that’s why and I’m happy with my man yes

[Guy13]

Alright then…happy usually implies safe SO there you go…. I would never have my horndog friends around my woman.

[Slma11]

Yeah all they do is go to the club party and have sex with lots of woman these indian men and weird thing one of them ask me to cook dinner for him and they bug lairs that why they make me uncomfortable and they ask me for my sister to be with them and they married and players and they talk crap about me in hindi

[Slma11]

Big*

[Guy13]

Yep, I’ve got friends like that and they’ve taught me the cuss words. These guys are like Braham elite crowd too. Into caste system….

[Slma11]

And then the first day I met his friends they were asking me why am I shy we are friends then they were asking to see my hair I’m like they moving too fast like idek these dudes and I got no Business hanging out with somebody else’s friends that’s not me they be trying to impress me to then they lie on me When someone says they’re uncomfortable usually they have a reason why and this is my reason

[Iron_Man]

You are boring for him? Well he admitted the truth so now what will you do?

[Slma11]

So it’s my fault I feel uncomfortable because his friends flirt with me and have thoughts about having
Intercourse with me these are married men too nothing

[Slma11]

Also religion plays a big part because if I was with my own kind they would never do that because it’s a part of our religion im a muslim he’s not

[Iron_Man]

I think that you should break up with that guy

[Slma11]

Forgot to mention he Physically and mentally abuses me india thing The divorce rate is so low and no matter what you do to the women you can never leave them and they will never leave you divorce rate like 1 percent they stay with only one woman that’s the culture

[Iron_Man]

Talk to your parents you can’t allow your self to be beaten up

[Slma11]

My mom knows but she gonna do something messed up crazy and he said if i do that I don’t know what he’s capable of he can get my mom arrested and he recording my messages

[Iron_Man]

Too dangerous move out of there move into your mothers house

[Slma11]

It’s a long story towards that I’ll try

[Iron_Man]

You have no choice you’re being beat on you have to get out of there

[Slma11]

You’re right but i have to be sneaky about it

[Iron_Man]

When he’s gone out make your move

[Slma11]

I will thanks

[Iron_Man]

You’re very welcome good luck I hope it works out for you

[Bklynbadboy12]

I don't know but tell him you want to spend some time alone with him

[razelove]

You could be a beard, shrug

[Slma11]

It’s fine we had a talk about it already

[razelove]

Well that's the best outcome, hopefully the talk translates into action :)

[Slma11]

I guess

[baserunner611]

Red flag you boring get out

[Slma11]

Know the full story before you comment

[Slma11]

You don’t know nothing about his friends or what I go through you don’t know everything his friends do so i
Wouldn’t jump to assuming

[baserunner611]

If he is dull, your relationship has ready to fail. Period love ❤️ yourself, please

[Slma11]

Yeah if i told you the type of man he was and his friends then you would get me

[baserunner611]

No. He thinks 🤔 you are boring. You are just going to waste years of your life. You are worthy and better than this. Love your self your better than this

[Slma11]

Alright thanks for the advice ❤️

[UpdateGloomyNights_]

He want shares with his friends

[Slma11]

Ywah he told me he would feel bad if he leaves them home because he wanted everyone to have fun

[Slma11]

Yeah*

[Anonymous]

Maybe it makes him feel more comfortable.

[Slma11]

But it don’t make me his friends are perverts i know what they do that’s why i prefer not to be around them and no right man is gonna bring they girl around his perverted friends also disrespectful too

[Opinion Owner]

So he knows how you feel about this? If he does, than just refuse to hang out with him when they are gonna be there.

[Slma11]

When he told me we was going somewhere i said why they going and he told me they had work so they coming with us turns out it wasn’t even work and they was talking crap about me in Hindi they usually do because i don’t speak it they gossip a lot but yeah he told me next if they go out he gonna leave me home