What’s the First Move you want potential dates to make?

[OddBeMe]

In a bar, cafe, etc…they approach…what’s your desired “move” or what do you want them to do or say?

More direct (explain)

Less direct (explain)

Updates

+1 y

Also, 500 Days of Summer…underrated movie right?

[KirbyFan246]

The first move on a first date? Well, there's no special "moves." Tricks and gimmicks are not needed to establish a healthy relationship, much less a good impression. You need to be yourself, meaning you're not overbearing or egotistical, but consciously present and pleasant. The person you're on the date with should see who you really are, and what you plan to bring to the relationship.

Thinking you need to use special moves for a girl to like you, is BIG MISTAKE. Women can see through that superficial, fake nice guy nonsense from miles away. A good potential partner deserves better than that. You need to become friends with them first, because the best couples are best friends. You do that by showing them who you are, and seeing if they catch enjoy being around you over time. If she figures out doesn't like you or perhaps a potential relationship with you, let her go to find someone she likes, move on to your next potential partner.

Also, you'll learn about what your partner likes, so you don't have to strategize these special moves to wow her, just get to know her, establish a solid truthful first impression, and find common ground. That's all a first date should be about. No discussions about deep stuff yet. That's for the second and third date. First Impressions are just how you present yourself to them in a pleasant environment, like dinner at a Mexican restaurant, or going mini-golfing, or Ice Cream.

It's very personalized, every girl has an individualized way of wanting to be loved, and that's what you're trying to learn, and vise versa with your partner with you.

[Citizenkirk]

One lady said she thought I had beautiful eyes. I would have asked her to elaborate except that we were surrounded by coworkers during our break period, I was taken completely off guard by her unexpected remark, and she was wearing an ankle bracelet at the time.
Another lady saw me getting out of the shower one time and grabbed the towel off the table, offering to help me get dried off. She didn't help me with that, but rather did the whole task herself, checking for signs of moisture and wetness. She was very direct in her desire that I not cover up that evening. When I finally figured out that she was serious, I hesitantly complied but got more into the spirit of things when I realized that she was the pervert and not me for me being bare. That was so direct that I was slow to process that unexpected reality that was unfolding around me.
I was totally on board with it, though. Unbelieving at first, but receptive to that notion once it registered that I wouldn't be on a sex offender registry for being naked in view of her.

[OddBeMe]

Where the fck has communal showers?

Also, love anklets…

[Citizenkirk]

Thanks for MHG

[dustybiker]

Ugh. Dating like that. It’s incredibly robotic. 🤮 Go do something like a bicycle ride to a place to eat. Action not awkwardness. Then they could make me laugh. (My choice of first move) You’ve already enjoyed and survived something by the time you sit down to talk then. Things you did or saw along the way to chat about.

[OddBeMe]

You mean dont sit quietly in a dark room for two hours?

[dustybiker]

@OddBeMe 😁 Groping? Yeah, no.

[OddBeMe]

I meant in a movie theater.

But groping would be tried. Once.

[dustybiker]

@OddBeMe I knew you meant a theater. lol And no doubt.

[Anonymous]

I'd actually prefer there not to be an actual move at first. Just normal getting to know each other. If he is looking for a fuck/date and comes up with that in mind, then I am just chosen for my appearance. It's fine I guess, but less chances of us to connect. Rather first talk and see about some chemistry xp

[Citizenkirk]

In gym great grandma's era, people used to Court each other, long before dating became a thing in the 1930s and 40s. It was a polite, formal affair with two people getting to know each other, prior to engagement for marriage.

[Opinion Owner]

@Citizenkirk a set up formal affair? also does not sound so nice to me :D.. unless you also did that with potential friends. I just want to get to know some different people, then I can feel and decide if I want to date them, be friends or so.

[Graci_e]

I reckon it would be really nice if boys still asked you on dates instead of asking for your snap/number. So more direct in that case.

[OddBeMe]

Thats interesting. I see you're 15, so im treading lightly.

But youd rather a guy go direct instead of the slower approach? Or is it more not wanting to give out your digits?

[Graci_e]

I’d rather them go more direct, not exactly not wanting to give my digits out. I also just think the old fashion way of being asked out on a date is much nicer.

[OddBeMe]

Gotcha. But no dating til your 18! :)

[Graci_e]

Yep 😂

[YungBahlr]

If a dude is too forward, it gives me the impression that they only see me as a means to a goal and not as a real person they’re talking to.
Just a casual conversation leading into it is always best.

[ChrisMaster69]

For potential dates, I like a bit of mutual flirting but also it needs to lead to one party actually asking the other out.

the first move needs to sort of open the way for that, something that shows the other a clear message.

i have no problems asking, however it’s fun when I get them to ask me.

the first things need to be fun, open, smiles with eyes and mouth.

then simply ask them out.

[Avicenna]

She just needs to make interesting conversation. I'll take it from there.

[OddBeMe]

So just casual appraoches from either? Get a convo going?

[Avicenna]

Yeah, that‘s all she has to do

[1GoldTwins]

Less. Less is more. Just allow me to get to know you. A potential date is just that... a person with potential, there's no actual interest yet.

[JC1981]

Subtle acts like holding hands and a goodnight kiss. Old fashioned leaves a better impression.

[Citizenkirk]

I consider holding hands to be an incredibly intimate act between two people.

[moonpie89]

Something direct. So I know your intentions straight up. Although I do love random conversations with people

[Anonymous]

I have no opinion yet


But I will mention an older family friend that is against dating and stuff - a girl saw him in a coffee shop and insisted on taking him out, he finally agreed. They have now been together for like 6 years

[Guy13]

Dude…it’s not going to matter.. they’ll get a sense of your vibe and run…
🏃🏼‍♀️ 🏃‍♂️ 🏃.

[OddBeMe]

Howd you know? Have you i hit on you before?

[Jltakk]

I'd want them to be far more direct of course. Simply communicate what your intentions are and we can work from there. No mixed signals.

[msc545]

Less direct - maybe none at all which is what usually happens anyway.

[OddBeMe]

Saved me a lot of time.

[msc545]

Glad to help...

[Juxtapose]

I like directness as I am not a mind reader.

[OddBeMe]

Goddamn bless america. Do chicks expect us to be? Even my wife after 15 years! lol

[Juxtapose]

Even after I tell them I'm autistic and tell them all about what that entails they still expect me to read their mind 99% of the time 🤦

[Juxtapose]

But yeah, getting asked out directly is how I've gotten the vast majority of my dates.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Talk! Not much sucks more than going on a date where I have to do all the talking.

[Anonymous]

I have resented reality for a long time now but it will never change

[NathanDavis]

the moon walk...

[TheAfrikan]

more direct matters.