Guys and men are told to approach women and show positivity/confidence. But women today don’t want to be approached, so what then?

[Anonymous]

[jennifer_bloom]

Woman want to be approached by people they like and respect so if your her friend you will have a real chance with her, if your a stranger on the street, she doesn’t know whether you are a nurse or a serial killer so your chances of getting a date will be a lot lower.

[Asker]

Yes but look at it this way. Any guy you talk to now. At some point he was a stranger to you. My question is solely on approaching women that men are taught to do. But women assume is he a killer. I think I present myself well. I have confidence and I’m approachable. I’ve had strangers approach me about what bus to take or directions. I want to approach at least 10 girls this summer in my city. I won’t take it personal if she rejects me. But at least I can say I tried by giving it a shot.

[jennifer_bloom]

You can be confident and attractive but still a serial killer or drug dealer, woman need to know your a caring and kind person, or being ultra alpha won’t work if she wants a real relationship, I liked a guy who stuttered and a guy who was disabled cause they appeared kind and loving, you need to appear kind and good or at least safe.

[Asker]

I want to try this summer. I live in Toronto and so many girls were out today in downtown. And in my mind I was like I want to go up and talk to one of them! Obviously if I see a guy and a girl together I’m not approach her. But if she’s single or with her girlfriends, I want to approach her. Guys can be good manipulators seeming like they do care when in reality they don’t. But today something odd happened to me. I was walking in front of a girl. She dropped something so I approached her and said hey I think you dropped something. She’s like omg thank you. But I noticed her and she had so many scars like 10 of them. I could tell they were razor blades scars. I told her don’t worry about and walked away. But I could tell by just seeing that, this girl is probably hurting a lot inside. I wish I could help but it’s weird to say that to a girl right away.

[jennifer_bloom]

The bible says good deeds done out of pity must not be motivated by romantic desire, your either her boyfriend or her therapist but you cannot be both, that would be taking advantage of her.

[Asker]

I didn’t want to take advantage of her but friendships are formed in many different ways. If a girl trusts a guy that means a lot I would think.

[jennifer_bloom]

I’m not accusing you or vilifying you for trying to merge romance with therapy but I’m saying the two must be kept separate.

[Asker]

Yea I get that. I understand there are guys and men who act like hyenas and pounce on a girl when she’s vulnerable. I understand girls and women are hesitant to show her feelings. I agree that guys shouldn’t “expect” something in return for being nice because he’s just a hypocrite. I think if a friendship is formed, if she develops feelings and trusts a guy, that’s a big plus.

[jennifer_bloom]

I was not referring to sex, I was referring to exploiting her feelings for emotional benefits. Having sexual benefits from a vulnerable person is even worse.

[Asker]

What are emotional benefits?

[jennifer_bloom]

Ego boost, admiration, attention, praise

[Asker]

Oh I don’t care about. I’d rather the girl get that, not me.

[Pinay_ako]

Not all women of today don’t want to be approached. Who’s making up all these assumptions?

[Asker]

Literally every girl on GAG will say they don’t want to be approached if I ask that question specifically for girls lol. And in person I feel weird approaching girls because either a) she has a resting bitch face (pardon my language), b) she’s with her girlfriends and I don’t want to bother her, c) she looks like she’s taken even though I don’t see a guy around.

[Pinay_ako]

Nah… only those girls who doesn’t want U to approach them say these things. But THAT girl who wants you too, will show you all the signs and TELL you she wants you bad!!! it only takes one girl to show you, you’ll know what I mean. So don’t despair

[Asker]

I know you can’t speak on behalf of all women but if you had to guess overall in a busy city like Los Angeles, Chicago, Toronto, New York, etc. if there’s a few miles in radius and there are 100 girls around. How many would you say want to be approached? 50%, 30%, 70%?

[Pinay_ako]

Nah.. that’s a lot of overthinking.. don’t think it. Just say hi. Just do!

[Asker]

I want to approach girls in person now. I’m getting tired of DM’ing girls on social media, that leads to no where. Sometimes it works for two people who click at the right place at the right time but I haven’t had that luck.

[Pinay_ako]

Just say hi and be nice not creepy. Positive energy and thinking is contagious. Smile!

[Asker]

I’ll try it if it works. Be honest though does it make a difference if you see a guy who’s 6ft2, compared to a guy who’s 5’8 approaching you.

[Asker]

Girls and women are generally more pleased when they see taller men, right?

[Pinay_ako]

I’m 4’11. 🤣 wrong person to ask

[Pinay_ako]

Everyone is taller than me 🤣

[Pinay_ako]

Again, another wrong assumption. Stop that

[Anonymous]

Some women still want to be approached, just need to spot them. Someone you can get a bit longer eye contact with is a good start, a reciprocated smile even better ;)

[Asker]

Would you want to be approached by a guy?

[Opinion Owner]

yeah, by some I find attractive/appealing, and when in the mood. Not when I am busy or with a type of man I am not into (like someone very young or old).. if I sit and not looking around at all because I just want to be me in a stressful world then it is rather uncomfortable for anyone to step into my space. But if a man can catch my attention/get to look into my eyes, then I am probably up for talking.

[Anonymous]

What makes you think we don't want to be approached?

[Asker]

I always get the feeling if women are approached by a guy who’s a complete stranger he’s going to get kicked in the nuts. Maybe that’s why I’ve avoided approaching y’all. I’m not some weird, ugly dude. I think I’m decent looking, I’m approachable, I can talk clearly, crack a few jokes, smell good, have nice comfy clothes on.

[WhitneySnow]

Why do you think that?

[Asker]

Why do I think what? I just feel like girls and women are sooo repulsed by guys. That if a guy approached her she may be on the defensive by sleazy guys who always approach. So she’ll assume “another fuck boy trying to asking me out 😒”

[WhitneySnow]

I mean some girls are like that but as long as the guy’s not really blatantly hitting on her most girls would be cool with that